Sunday, March 17 2019

08:30 Lois and I take a shower and after breakfast we talk a little on whatsapp with our younger daughter Sarah, who lives in Perth, Australia, with her husband Francis and their 5-year-old twins, Lily and Jessie.

Flashback to April 2018: me (left) at a beach cafe in the Margaret River region,

Western Australia, along with Francis, Sarah, and the twins

Francis has taken Jessie somewhere for some reason, and Lily is busy watching a DVD, so it's a good opportunity for Sarah to talk to us, without the distractions of the kids, for once. We can cover more serious issues for once too, which is nice.

Sarah and Francis have revived their plan to buy a piece of land, 2 acres, high up on the hills surrounding Perth, near the town of Chittering, where there are a lot of vineyards - mm mm !!! They plan to try to get a local building firm to build them a house up there. They hope to revive their negotiations to get a loan and find a suitable construction firm.

Chittering WA, where Sarah and Francis hope to buy land and build a house

Sarah has become fed up with her current job at a landscape architecture firm, but she has decided to stop looking for a less stressful job for the moment,  because it will not help them to get a loan if she is changing jobs.

They plan to leave their current rental house when the lease expires, and move to a cheaper rental house near Chittering so that the children can switch to a primary school in the area where the family intends to live long-term.

She and Francis are a little dissatisfied with the local primary school in Ocean Reef, where the family currently lives: the other parents have formed cliques, and it has been difficult for her and Francis to forge friendships in the neighbourhood and help the twins become friends with other local children, which is a little disappointing.

Lois and I worry sometimes about the fact that Sarah and Francis change their plans so often – we suspect sometimes that they don’t know what they’re doing - but then neither do we!

11:00 The call ends and Lois has to go out. She wants to participate in her sect's two worship services, taking  place today in Tewkesbury  library.

It is very nice that she has regained her self-confidence when it comes to driving the car. She is now free to drive anywhere she wants, and it gives me much more leisure time and alone time, so I can cross off more tasks on my enormous to-do list, which is satisfying.

I resume work on our downsizing mini-project. I collect the books we have decided to donate to the Red Cross charity shop. I sort them by size and pack them in plastic bags.

I collect the books we have decided to donate to a charity shop.

I sort them by size and pack them in plastic bags,

which I put next to my fitness bike and child's DVD player.

12:30 I have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 2 pm and start reading the next 2 chapters of Njal's saga, written down in the 13th century in Iceland - the saga is the local U3A Old Norse group's current project. The group will be holding its next meeting on Wednesday in the bar of the town’s Everyman Theatre.

Two exciting chapters - Njals and Gunnar are bosom buddies, but their wives, Bergthora and Hallgerd, respectively, are locked in a massive feud with each other.

The two wives, Hallgerd ....

and Bergthora, hate each other like poison  and are now locked

in a mega-feud with each other

The feud started with a fight between the two women over the seating plan at Gunnar and Hallgerd's wedding reception. Everything was going well at the beginning of the party, but halfway through the reception, the wedding was unexpectedly enlarged to accommodate an extra couple, when Uncle Thrain divorced his wife on the spot, after he spotted, and proposed to, the beautiful young 14-year-old wedding guest, Thorgerd.

So now there were 2 bridal couples, not just Gunnar and Hallgerd, but also now Uncle Thrain and young Thorgerd, so the wedding organisers had to quickly change the seating plan, which must have been a bit of a nightmare, to put it mildly.

Bergthora attacked Hallgerd,  insisting that she move out of her seat, to make room for another woman, but Hallgerd refused. "I’m not moving from here for anyone. I won't be a "corner woman":  i.e someone relegated to a corner. My goodness, what a woman !!!!

And the method with which women used to conduct feuds in medieval Iceland was as follows:  the first woman would order one of her employees to kill one of the second woman's employees. And after that, the 2nd woman retaliated in kind, and then the feud continued ad infinitum until everybody was dead - that was the normal procedure.

Every time there was a killing in Bergthora and Hallgerd’s feud, their two husbands were informed, and a sum of money was paid by the one husband to the other, as compensation: the amount of compensation depended on how highly the killed employee was assessed by the two men.

How civilised!

It is a tribute to Njal's and Gunnar's long-standing friendship that they did not become enemies despite the fact that their wives hated each other like poison and were methodically killing off each other's households.

Hallgerd tended to despise the two men, her husband Gunnar, and his best friend Njal. She tells Gunnar that he and Njal are "two of the same kind" - two wimps in other words.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Seating plans can often lead to quarrels at weddings, even at funerals, which is a bit of a shame to put it mildly. No one wants to be a "corner woman", or even a "corner man" at a friend's or an acquaintance's funeral.

But a good seating plan, if it has been carefully thought out, can also lead to heartwarming reconciliations between former enemies, under the right circumstances, such as for example the resolving of the bitter and long-lasting feud between local man Robert Lech's son Donald and Robert’s daughter Emma.

The Lech family recently hit the local headlines with an account of Robert Lech's updated funeral plans, right here on my go-to local news site, Onion News, where the other day I read a throw-away comment from Robert about the 2 siblings Donald and Emma's notoriously long-standing feud.

[excerpt from the article] ... [82-year-old] Lech [confirmed that he] has received hundreds of funeral ideas from friends, family and colleagues, though he admits that his thoughts have not yet merged into a single coherent funeral plan which he is satisfied with. Still, there are some details he is very much in favour of, including a special seating plan for his family, designed so that his son, Donald and daughter, Emma, ​​might finally speak to each other again after many years of bitter struggle.

Lech also said he would forget about a three-piece suit to wear in his coffin, and opt for his favourite linen shirt and pants, like his old army buddy, Jack Weaver, did at his own funeral six months ago.

"Jack taught me many things over the years, like how the deceased doesn't have to look really stuffy in the coffin," Lech said. "I want people to remember me not just as their family accountant, but as a friend or golf buddy or even as the guy you wave to on the street."

What a man! But Lech's dress plan for his coffin doesn't suit me specially well - to begin with, I'm not the guy you wave to on the street. But how is he dressed, the guy you don't wave to on the street? I'm not 100% sure - the jury is still out on that one. Light grey hoodie and sunglasses maybe, like I was last year in Australia (see above)?

16:00 Lois comes back from her church services and we relax with a cup of tea and a piece of bread with homemade greengage jam - yum yum!

18:30 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching some television and listening to the radio. An interesting documentary is on, all about the crew of the 16th century warship Mary Rose, which sank in 1545 in the English Channel during a battle with the French Navy. The programme revolves around DNA analysis of some of the skeletons found inside the wreck, including isotopic analysis of their teeth and suchlike.

Eight skeletons are investigated, of which only 4 had purely English origins, which is interesting. Two of the others probably came from somewhere near the Mediterranean, Spain or Italy maybe; one originated from North Africa and one was born and raised in England, but had North African parents or the like.

My god, what madness! It destroys any theories that all Englishmen in 16th century England, or all men in Henry VIII's navy, were white Anglo-Saxon protestants.

My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

21:00 We switch off the television and listen to the radio, the perfect programme to go to bed on - the Melbourne-born ex-comedian Barry Humphries's selection of forgotten popular songs from the first half of the 20th century.

Barry has themed his selection as musical therapy for distressed souls on both sides of the Brexit debate, and is a mix of forgotten British and continental classics, mostly dating from the 1920’s and 1930’s. It seems that his radio listeners write to him with invitations to rummage through their attics, and other hiding places, in search of their own forgotten classic 78’s, many of which he then plays on the programme.

We also hear some forgotten classic facts, including the fact that in the 1920’s Winston Churchill called for a tunnel to be built between England and France, but the French were not interested.

Barry Humphries in happier times, during his show

"The Man Behind the Mask" in 2018 in London

Humphries is a complex personality. Superficially flamboyant, he is basically a very shy man. As a young performer he was deeply angst-ridden. His hands tended to shake and he was often physically sick, before going on stage.

Once when he played Shakespeare in Melbourne, he hid behind the furniture on stage because he had heard people laughing at his legs in black tights.

Barry - not the guy you wave to on the street to put it mildly!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:30 Lois og jeg tager et brusebad og efter morgenmad snakker vi lidt på whatsapp med vores yngste datter Sarah, der bor i Perth, Australien, sammen med Francis og deres 5-årige tvillinger, Lily og Jessie.

Tilbageblik til april 2018: mig (til venstre) på en strandcafé i Margaret River-regionen,

Western Australia, sammen med Francis, Sarah, og tvillingerne

Francis har taget Jessie et eller andet sted af en eller anden grund, og Lily er beskæftiget med at se en dvd, så det er en god lejlighed til at Sarah snakker med os, uden distraktionerne af børnene, for engangs skyld. Vi kan dække mere alvorlige emner for en gangs skyld, hvilket er rart!

Sarah og Francis har genoplivet deres plan om, at købe et stykke jord på 2 hektar højt oppe på de bakker, der omgiver Perth, i nærheden af byen Chittering, hvor der er en masse vingårde – mm mm!!! De planlægger ar prøve at få et lokal byggefirma til at bygge dem et hus deroppe. De håber på, at genoplive deres forhandlinger om at få et lån og finde et byggefirma.

Chittering WA

Sarah er blevet dødtræt af sit nuværende job hos et landskabsarkitekturfirma, men hun har besluttet at holde op for tiden med at lede efter et mindre stressende job, fordi det ikke vil hjælpe med at få et lån, hvis hun på dette tidspunkt skifter jobs.

De planlægger at forlade deres nuværende lejehus, når lejekontrakten udløber, og flytte til et billigere lejehus i nærheden af Chittering, så børnene kan skifte til en folkeskole i det område, hvor de har til hensigt at bo som deres langsigtet mål.

Hun og Francis er lidt utilfreds med den lokale folkeskole i Ocean Reef, hvor familien bor for tiden: de andre forældre har dannet kliker, og der har været svært for hende og Francis at stifte venskaber i nabolaget, og hjælpe tvillingerne med at stifte venskaber med andre lokale børn, hvilket er lidt skuffende.

Lois og jeg bekymrer os nogle gange over, at de ændrer deres planer så ofte - vi formoder nogle gange, at de ikke ved, hvad de laver.

11:00 Opkaldet slutter og Lois skal ud. Hun ønsker at deltage i sin sekts 2 gudstjenester, der finder sted i dag i byen Tewkesburys bibliotek.

Det er meget rart, at hun har genvundet sit selvtillids, når det kommer til at køre i bil. Det står hende frit at køre hvor som helst hun har lyst til, og det giver mig meget mere fritid og alenetid, så jeg kan strege flere opgaver på min gøremålsliste, hvilket er tilfredsstillende.

Jeg går i gang med at arbejde på vores downsize mini-projekt. Jeg samler de bøger, vi har besluttet at donere til Røde Kors-velgørenhedsbutikken. Jeg sorterer dem i størrelser og pakker dem i plastikposer.

Jeg samler de bøger, vi har besluttet at donere til en velgørenhedsbutik.

 Jeg sorterer dem i størrelser og pakker dem i plastikposer,

som jeg sætter ved siden af min kondicykel og børne-dvdafspiller.

12:30 Jeg spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg I seng for at tage en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op og går i gang med at læse de næste  kapitler af Njals saga, skrevet i det 13. århundrede i Island  – sagaen er den lokale U3A oldnordiske gruppens nuværende projekt. Gruppen holder sit næste møde på onsdag i byens Everyman-teater.

To spændende kapitler – Njals og Gunnar er perlevenner, men deres koner, henholdsvis Bergthora og Hallgerd, er i gang med en massiv fejde mod hinanden.

De to koner, Hallgerd....

og Bergthora, hader hinanden som pesten og går i gang

med en megafejde imod hinanden

Fejden startede med et skænderi mellem de 2 kvinder over bordplanen til Gunnar og Hallgerds bryllupsreception. Alt gik godt i begyndelsen af festen, men halvvejs i reception, blev deres bryllup faktisk uforventet til et dobbeltbryllup, da Onkel Thrain lod sig skille fra sin kone på stedet, efter han fik øje på den smukke, 14-årige Thorgerd.

Nu var der 2 lykkelige par, Gunnar og Hallgerd, også Thrain og unge Thorgerd, så bryllupsarrangører hurtigt skulle lave om på bordplanen, hvilket må have været lidt af et mareridt, for at sige mildt.

Bergthora gik til Hallgerd og insisterer, at hun rykker fra sin siddeplads, således at give plads til en anden kvinde, men Hallgerd afslår.  ”Jeg vil ikke rykke herfra, og bliver afløst af nogen. Jeg vil ikke være en ”hjørnekvinde”: en der sidder i et hjørne”. Du godeste, sikke en kvinde!!!!

Og måden, to kvinder gennemfører en fejde imod hinanden i middelalderlige Island  på, er, at den første kvinde beordrer en af sine ansatte til at dræbe en eller anden af den 2. kvindes ansatte. Og bagefter gør den 2. kvinde gengæld, og så fortsætter fejden i en uendlighed.

Hver gang der er en drab, deres to mænd bliver informeret, og en sum penge er betalt af den ene til den anden, som kompensation: beløb afhænger af, hvor meget den dræbte ansat bliver vurderet af de to mænd.

Det er en hyldest til Njals og Gunnars langvarige venskab, at de ikke bliver uvenner på trods af, at deres koner hader hinanden som pesten.

Hallgerd har tendens til at foragte de to mænd, sin ægtemand Gunnar, og Gunnars bedste ven Njal. Hun fortæller Gunnar, at han og Njal er ”to af samme slags” – to karklude med andre ord.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!!

Bordplaner kan ofte føre til skænderier til bryllupper, endda til begravelser, hvilket er lidt af en skam, for at sige mildt. Ingen har lyst til at være en ”hjørnekvinde”, eller endda en ”hjørnemand” på en vens eller en bekendts begravelse.

Men en god bordplan, hvis den er blevet forsigtigt udtænkt,  kan også føre til hjertevarmende forsoninger under de rigtige omstændigheder, for eksempel udfordringen af den bitre og langvarige fejde mellem lokale mand Robert Lechs søn Donald og datter Emma.

Familien Lech ramte de lokale overskrifter for nylig med en beretning af Robert Lechs opdaterede begravelsesplaner, lige her i mit go-to lokale nyhedswebsted, Onion News, hvor jeg læste en throw-away kommentar fra Robert om Donald og Emmas langvarige fejde.

[uddrag fra artiklen] ...[82-årige] Lech [bekræftede at, han] har fået hundreder af begravelsesideer fra venner, familie og kolleger, selvom han indrømmer, at hans tanker endnu ikke er smeltet sammen i en enkel sammenhængende begravelsesplan, som han er tilfreds med. Alligevel er der nogle detaljer, han føler sig meget stærkt opmærksom på, herunder arrangerede siddepladser i håb om, at hans søn, Donald og datter, Emma, ​​endelig kunne bryde deres tavshed efter mange års bitter kamp.

Lech sagde også, at han kunne glemme om en tredelt trøje og opte i stedet for hans foretrukne linnedtrøje og bukser, som hans gamle militærkammerat, Jack Weaver, gjorde ved sin begravelse for seks måneder siden.

"Jack lærte mig mange ting i årenes løb, ligesom hvordan den afdøde ikke behøver at se rigtig snerpet ud i kisten," sagde Lech. "Jeg vil have, at folk skal huske mig ikke bare som deres familiekonsulent, men som en ven eller golfkammerat eller endda som den fyr du vifter hej til på gaden."

Sikke en mand! Men Lechs påklædningsplan til sin kiste ikke passer mig ret godt – til at begynde med, er jeg ikke den fyr, du vifter hej til på gaden. Men hvordan er han klædt, den fyr, du ikke vifter hej til på gaden? Det er jeg ikke helt sikker på – juryen er stadig ude om det! Hoodie og solbriller måske, som jeg var sidste år i Australien (se ovenfor) ?

16:00 Lois kommer tilbage fra sine gudstjenester, og vi slapper af med en kop te og et stykke brød med hjemmelavet reineclaudemarmelade – yum yum!

18:30 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn og lytter til radio. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om besætningen af den 1500-tals krigskib Mary Rose, der sank i 1545 i den engelske kanal i løbet af et slag mod den franske marine. Programmet kredser om dna-analyse af nogle af de skeletter, der blev fundet inde i vraget, også isotopiske analyse af deres tænder og den slags.

Otte skeletter bliver undersøgt, hvoraf kun 4 havde rent engelske oprindelser, hvilket er interessant. To stammede sandsynligvis fra nærheden af Middelhavet, Spanien eller Italien; en stammede fra Nord-Afrika og en var født og vokset op i England, men havde nordafrikanske forældre eller lignende.

Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!  Det ødelægger alle teorier om, at de fleste englændere i 1500-tals England, eller, de fleste mænd i Henrik 8s marine, var hvide angelsaksiske protestanter.

Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

21:00 Vi slukker for fjernsynet og lytter lidt til radio, det perfekte program til at gå i seng på – den Melbourne fødte eks-komiker Barry Humphries’ udvalg af glemte populærsangklassikere fra det 20. århundredes første halvdel.

Barry har tematiseret sit udvalg som musikalsk terapi for bedrøvede sjæle på begge sider af Brexit-debatten, og er en blanding af glemt britiske og kontinentale klassikere, som for det meste daterer fra 1920’erne og 1930’erne. Det lader til, at hans radiolyttere har med at skrive til ham med invitationer til at rode igennem deres lofter, og andre skjulesteder, på jagt efter deres egne glemte  78-er.

Vi hører nogle glemte fakta derudover, herunder at Winston Churchill i 1920’er opfordrede, at en tunnel bliver bygget mellem England og Frankrig, men franskmændene var ikke interesserede.

 Barry Humphries i lykkeligere tider, under sit show

”The Man Behind the Mask” i 2018 i London

Humphries er en kompleks personlighed. Overfladisk farverstrålende, er han grundlæggende en meget genert mand. Men som en ung performer var han dybt ængstelig. Hans hænder havde tendens til at ryste og han var ofte fysisk syg før han gik på scenen.

Da han engang spillede Shakespeare i Melbourne, gemte han sig bag møblerne på scenen, fordi han havde hørt folk grine af sine ben i sine sorte tights.

Barry – ikke den fyr, man vifter til på gaden, for at sige mildt!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzz!!!!