Monday, March 18 2019

09:00 Lois and I have expanded the scope of the ‘book phase’ of our downsizing mini-project to include non-children's books such as academic textbooks, books on politics, history, cooking, etc. I go up the stairs to the attic and I gather together all the books I can see (there may well be others lying under the piles of other unwanted possessions – my god, what madness !!!!).

I lug the books down the loft-ladder and put them in piles so Lois can check them and see if there are any she wants to keep. Included are all the volumes of Winston Churchill's "Second World War", which Rev. Thomas, a retired Anglican priest and resident of the nursing home where Lois worked long ago, pushed us to accept, "to help our daughter Sarah with her high school project”, books that have lain unread in the attic (no disrespect to Winston) for over 25 years. Good grief, what madness (again) !!!!!!

Meanwhile, Lois goes out into the front yard and prunes the rose bushes and the large lavender bush that grows just outside the front door, and which is always threatening to take over the entire lawn – my god, what madness (for the 3rd time) !!!!

Gardening is a good, healthy hobby for retirees - the tragedy is that it does not make watching TV gardening programmes any less boring than it was before.

Mrs. Overall (Julie Walters) pointed this out long ago in the famous BBC TV long-running soap opera "Acorn Antiques":

Acorn Antiques: left to right, Miss Berta (Victoria Wood), 

Mrs. Overall (Julie Walters) and Miss Babs (Celia Imrie)

Miss Berta: "The fact is, Mrs O, my life seems completely grey, bleak and pointless."

Mrs. Overall: "Well, sometimes that's God's way of getting you to enjoy" Gardeners' World ".

Gardener's World: pictured here is the spin-off magazine

from BBC TV's long-running gardening programme, "Gardeners' World"

a typical ”Gardening World” menu from this week’s edition (March 22)

The fact is that in Cheltenham, where Lois and I live, there is pretty much nothing to do, for retirees. Hopes were raised 10 years ago when "The Den" opened as a club for the middle-aged (source: Onion News), but so far there is still nothing organised for retirees like Lois and me, which is a little disappointing to put it mildly .

"The Den", a local activity centre for the middle-aged, opened last month in response to a perceived need for post-work recreation and support programmes for middle-aged adults, to create a fun and encouraging environment where the town’s 40 to 60 year olds can interact with others of their own age.

The new clubhouse, funded by a £ 1.2 million grant from the County's Adult Outreach Programme to "help our middle-aged citizens achieve their full potential," offers, in its new 14,000-square-foot facility, a comprehensive library of self-help books, a large board-games room, a gardening area, dozens of comfortable sofas, a flat-screen TV and a fully equipped spirits cabinet.

"It's really hard to be a 47-year-old in this day and age," said Daniel Harger, 22, the centre’s executive director. "Many of the people we serve come from high-risk, single-parent households. We are here to reach out to them and let them know they belong somewhere."

"When you hit middle-age, it feels like no one understands you, or even tries." Harger added. "Most of the adults who come in here are just looking for someone to talk to."

Harger said the centre welcomed all 40 somethings, but its staff paid extra attention to so-called latchkey-adults, those who work eight hour shifts and then go home to an empty house.

"The Den" is open Monday to Friday from 4 pm till 1 am, and encourages its members to express themselves creatively by participating in scrapbook seminars, trivia quizzes, swing dance classes and divorce counselling. The centre also offers a number of free health courses that teach middle-aged students the importance of getting regular cholesterol tests and what to expect when they go for their first colonoscopy.

Glen Rohn, 44, State Farm insurance agent

Glen Rohn, 44, a State Farm insurance agent, said that before The Den opened, there was "nothing to do in this town."

"If only I were young enough to go to bars, but I'm not," Rohn said. "It's cool to have a place where I can just be myself, drink a few beers and play Scattergories with my friends."

Paula Lamberson, 46-year-old mother of four

Paula Lamberson, a 46-year-old mother of four, said the centre attracts her because it offers a safe environment where she can escape the pressures she feels at home. Although she feels stifled by family members who put unreasonable expectations on her, she said she feels completely at home at The Den.

"My family is constantly nagging me about never buying the right kind of cereals from the grocery store or about not doing a good job on the diorama for their history class," said Lamberson. "But my friends at the club really appreciate me. They know what my favourite Josh Groban song is."

When they are not planning a Julia Roberts movie night or excursions to John Major’s birthplace, “The Den”’s staff are busy showing customers how to create their own AOL accounts and download MP3s from Sting's latest album - not to mention helping them cope with the special challenges they face in middle age.

"These adults may seem a little different because of their hairstyle or the way they dress, but when you get to know them, they are actually pretty nice," said counsellor Marcus Hughs, 21. "Most of the time they are just trying to deal with relationship problems, and other issues, such as how to pay for their child's college education, or the fact that teenagers are making fun of them. "

"And of course, they are still getting used to the changes their body is going through," Hughs added. "It's not easy when your hormones start to calm down and suddenly you don't have hair in the same places you used to."

An excellent article, with a lot of voxpops from club members and staff - local journalism at its best, no doubt about that. But how long do we have to wait to see a similar club for retirees?

We old-timers demand answers - and fast!

12:45 Lois and I have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. I get up at 3 pm and jump up on my fitness bike. I ride 6 miles (10 km). Meanwhile, Lois swings by the neighbours (Bill and Mary) to talk a little with Mary, who suffers from dementia.

15:30 I sit down with the computer and prepare a Danish vocabulary list that I want our U3A Danish group members to memorise before the group's next meeting in 10 days' time. I’m so demanding ha ha ha.

The right answers to the test spell out another of stand-up comedian Tim Vine's famous one-line jokes, "The advantages of easy origami are two-fold". Incidentally, the right answers to our Danish group's new vocabulary test are top secret until Thursday at 3 pm, needless to say ha ha ha !!!

Tim Vine, my favourite stand-up comedian

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching a bit of television. Monday night is TV quiz night at our house. "Only Connect" and "University Challenge” are on.

The 2 teams have to come up with  the 4th thing in the following sequence: Roquefort, Woody Guthrie, Mange Tout ...

The answer is based on the fact that "Roquefort" sounds like "Roque Four", Woody Guthrie sounds like Woody Gu-Three and so on. Simples!

As a sort of postscript, Victoria Coren-Mitchell, the quiz's charming host, asks the teams if they know Guthrie's recording of the Carter family song "Ain't Got No Home" (1931). Apparently, Guthrie wrote an alternative lyric in the middle of the US "Dust Bowl" crisis:

"I just can’t pay this rent,

my money is down the drain,

and my soul is badly bent,

Beach Haven is like heaven,

where no black ones come to roam,

no no no, old man Trump.

Beach Haven ain’t my home”

  

Guthrie's landlord was actually Donald Trump's father: Fred Christ Trump. Who knew that? Not Lois and me.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

09:00 Lois og jeg har udvidet omfanget af bog-fasen af vores downsize mini-projekt, så den inkluderer ikke-børnebøger, for eksempel akademiske lærebøger, bøger om politik, historie, madlavning  osv. Jeg går op ad trappen til loftet og jeg samler alle de bøger jeg kan se (det kan være, at der er andre, der ligger skulte under bunkerne af andre uønskede ejendele – du godeste, sikke et vanvid !!!!).

Jeg slæber bøgerne ned ad trappen og lægger dem i bunker, så Lois kan tjekke dem og se, om der er nogle hun vil holde. Inkluderet er alle voluminer af Winston Churchills ”Den anden verdenskrig”, som Rev. Thomas, en pensioneret anglikanske præst og beboer på det plejehhjem, hvor Lois for længe siden arbejdede, presserede på os, ”for at hjælpe vores datter Sarah med sit daværende højskoleprojekt, bøger, som har ligget ulæst i loftet (ingen respektløshed til Winston) i over 25 år. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid (igen) !!!!!!

I mellemtiden går Lois ud i forhaven og beskærer rosenbuskene og den store lavendelbusk, der gror lidt udenfor husets hoveddør, og som altid truer med at overtage hele haven – du godeste, sikke et vanvid (for 3. gang) !!!!

Havearbejde er en god, sund hobby for pensionister – tragedien er, at det ikke gør dét, at se på TV-havearbejdekprogrammer overhovedet mindre kedeligt, som fr. Overall (Julie Walters) påpegede for længe siden i den berømte dialog fra BBC-TVs langvarige sæbeopera  ”Acorn Antiques”:

Acorn Antiques: Miss Babs (Victoria Wood), Mrs Overall (Julie Walters) 

og Miss Berta (Celia Imrie)

Miss Berta: “The fact is, Mrs O., my life seems completely grey, bleak and pointless.”

Mrs Overall: “Well, sometimes that’s God’s way of getting you to enjoy “Gardeners’ World”.  

Gardener’s World: det spinoff-tidsskrift fra BBC-TVs langvarige

havearbejde-program, ”Gardeners’ World”

Gardeners' World: denne uges afsnit

Faktum er, at i Cheltenham, hvor Lois og jeg bor, er der intet at gøre for pensionister. Forhåbninger blev rejst for 10 år siden, da ”The Den” åbnede som klub for de midaldrende (kilde: Onion News), men hidtil er der stadig ikke noget organiseret for pensionister som Lois og mig, hvilket er lidt skuffende, for at sige mildt.

”The Den”, et lokalt aktivitetscentre for de midaldrende, åbnede sidste måned i reaktion til et opfattet behov for efter-arbejde rekreative og støtteprogrammer for midaldrende voksne, for at skabe et sjovt og opmuntrende miljø, hvor byens 40 til 60-årige kan interagere med andre i deres egen alder.

Det nye klubhus, finansieret ved hjælp af et tilskud på 1,2 millioner dollar fra grevskabets Adult Outreach Program med det formål at "hjælpe vores middelaldrende borgere med at opnå sit fulde potentiale", tilbyder på dens nye 14.000 kvadratmeter facilitet, et omfattende bibliotek af selvhjælpsbøger, et stort brætspilrum, et havearbejde område, snesevis af komfortable sofaer og fladskærms-tv og et fuldt udstyret spritskabe.

"Det er virkelig svært at være en 47-årig i denne dag og alder," siger Daniel Harger, 22, centreets administrative direktør. "Mange af de mennesker, vi serverer, kommer fra højrisiko, enlige forælder-husholdninger. Vi er her for at række ud til dem og lade dem vide, at de hører til noget sted."

"Når du rammer middelalderen, kan det føles som om, at ingen forstår dig, eller endda forsøger at gøre det," tilføjede Harger. "De fleste af de voksne, der kommer herind, søger bare nogen til at tale med."

Harger sagde, at centret byder en varm velkomst til alle nogle-og-40 årige, men dets personale sørger for at være ekstra opmærksom på såkaldte nøglevoksne, dem der arbejder otte timers skift og går hjem til et tomt hus.

”The Den” er åben mandag til fredag fra kl. 16 indtil kl. 1, og opfordrer sine medlemmer til at udtrykke sig kreativt ved at deltage i scrapbogsseminarer, trivia-quizzer, swingdansklasser og skilsmisserådgivning. Centret tilbyder også en række gratis sundhedskurser, der lærer middelaldrende elever om vigtigheden af at få regelmæssige kolesteroltest og hvad man kan forvente, når de får deres første koloskopi.

Glen Rohn, 44, State Farm forsikringsagent

Glen Rohn, 44, en State Farm forsikringsagent, sagde, at før The Den åbnet, var der "intet at gøre i denne by."

"Hvis bare jeg var ung nok til at gå på barer, men det er jeg ikke," sagde Rohn. "Det er sejt at have et sted, hvor jeg bare kan være mig selv, drikke et par øl og spille Scattergories med mine venner."

Paula Lamberson, 46-årig mor på fire

Paula Lamberson, en 46-årig mor på fire, sagde, at centret tiltrækker hende, fordi det tilbyder et sikkert miljø, hvor hun kan slippe for det pres, hun føler hjemme. Selvom hun føler sig halvkvalt af familiemedlemmer, der lægger urimelige forventninger på hende, sagde hun, at hun føler sig helt hjemme på The Den.

"Min familie hakker på mig konstant om, at jeg aldrig køber den rigtige slags cornflakes hos købmanden, eller at jeg ikke gjorde et godt nok job på deres diorama til historieklassen," sagde Lamberson. "Men mine venner på klubben sætter stor pris på mig. De ved, hvad min yndlings Josh Groban sang er."

Når de ikke er i gang med at planlægge en Julia Roberts filmaften eller udflugter til John Majors fødested, er personalet i The Den travlt med at vise kunder hvordan man opretter deres AOL-konti og downloade MP3s fra Stings nyeste album - for ikke at nævne dét, at hjælpe dem med at klare de specielle udfordringer, de begynder at stå over for i midalderen.

"Disse voksne kan virke lidt anderledes på grund af deres frisure eller den måde, de klæder sig på, men når du lærer dem at kende, er de faktisk ret søde," sagde rådgiveren Marcus Hughs, 21. "De fleste af tiden forsøger de bare at klare forholdsproblemer, og andre spørgsmål, såsom dét, hvordan de skal betale for deres barns kollegiumundervisning eller dét, at teenagere laver sjov af dem.”

"Og selvfølgelig vænner de sig stadig til de ændringer, deres krop går igennem," tilføjede Hughs. "Det er ikke let, når dine hormoner begynder at falde til ro og pludselig har du ikke hår på de samme steder, som du plejede."

God artikel med en masse voxpops fra klubbens medlemmer og personale – lokal journalisme på sit bedste, ingen tvivl om det. Men hvor lang tid må vi vente med at se en lignende klub for pensionister? Vi gamle kræver svar – og hurtigt!

12:45 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15 og hopper op på min kondicykel. Jeg cykler 6 miles (10 km). I mellemtiden smutter Lois ind hos naboerne (Bill og Mary) for at snakke lidt med Mary, der lider af demens.

15:30 Jeg sætter mig med computeren og udfærdiger en dansk ordforrådlist, som jeg vil have vores U3A danske gruppes medlemmer til at lære udenad før gruppens næste møde om 10 dages tid.

De rigtige svar til testen staver endnu en af standup komikeren Tim Vines berømte én-linje vittigheder, ”The advantages of easy origami are two-fold”. I øvrigt er de rigtige svar på vores danske gruppes nye ordforrådtest tophemmelige indtil torsdag kl 15, unødvendigt at sige ha ha ha!!!

Tim Vine, min yndlings-standupkomiker

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. Mandag aften er tv-quiz-aften hos os. De viser ”Only Connect” og ”University Challenge.

De 2 holden skal komme med den 4. ting i den følgende sekvens: Roquefort, Woody Guthrie, Mange Tout...

Svaret et baseret på, at ”Roquefort” lyder som ”Roque Four”, Woody Guthrie lyder som Woody Gu-three osv.

Som et slags efterskrift, spørger Victoria Coren-Mitchell, quizzens charmerende vært, holdene, om de kender Guthries optagelsen af Carter-familiesangen  ”Ain’t Got No Home” (1931). Tilsyneladende skrev Guthrie en alternativ tekst, midt i USAs “Dust Bowl” krise:

”I just can’t pay this rent,

my money is down the drain,

and my soul is badly bent,

Beach Haven is like heaven,

where no black ones come to roam,

no no no, old man Trump.

Beach Haven ain’t my home”

Guthries godsejer var faktisk Donald Trumps far: Fred Christ Trump [sic]. Hvem vidste det? Ikke Lois og mig.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!