Wednesday, March 6 2019

10:00 I start leafing through chapters 32-33 of Njal's saga, written in the 13th century in Iceland - the saga is the U3A Old Norse group's current project. The group is holding its next meeting this afternoon in the town’s Everyman theatre, our first meeting since January 23, due to Scilla's absence - Scilla, the group's leader, has been ill, and she also cancelled one meeting due to a dental appointment.

Gunnar, the saga’s current hero, has now returned home to Iceland after many violent adventures around the coasts of the Baltic Sea, where he managed to kill up to 14 men a day and grab a lot of war booty into the bargain.

Now Gunnar wants to marry a nice Icelandic woman. One day he spots a beautiful woman, Hallgerda, with very long fair hair down to her breasts (and all points south!) and dressed in a red robe and a pink dress, and he gets a megacrush on her.

Gunnar catches a glimpse of Hallgerda for the first time,

and it is love at first sight for him

Gunnar gets permission to marry Hallgerda, but he does not seem to notice the warning signs. She is a very headstrong woman for a start (but perhaps he prefers that type of woman?).

And when they meet for the first time, she speaks "boldly" and "loudly", and she is the one who dominates the conversation. Gunnar asks if she is single. She replies that yes, she is single - but she adds she doesn’t think there are many men who could put up with her - yikes! And she also says that she is very picky when it comes to men. My goodness! I anticipate problems ahead, no doubt about that.

All Gunnar's friends try to warn him against Hallgerda, but he is determined to have her - yikes, Gunnar !!!!! Your impulsive fool !!!!

I suspect Gunnar prefers the kind of woman who takes control of the relationship. I know where he’s coming from - I like it when Lois is in a super-confident mood, and I can let go of the reins at home and let her take the lead for once. But I'm not 100% sure if I could stand it day in day out. But the jury is still out on that one. We will have to see!

11:00 I take a short break, and Lois and I relax with a cup of coffee on the sofa.

11:30 I proceed to read the next chapter of Njal saga - chapter 34.

Gunnar defies the advice of his friends and relatives, and goes ahead and marries Hallgerda, the headstrong woman with a past, a woman that no one else seems to like very much.

Unfortunately  the couple invite an uncle to the wedding reception - Gunnar's uncle Thrain, who makes  a scene that puts a damper on the celebrations. He quarrels with his wife Aunt Thorhilda - she notices him staring at the 14-year-old Thorgerda, and all hell breaks loose.

Gunnar and Hillgerdas wedding reception - everything is going well until

Gunnar's Uncle Thrain quarrels with Aunt Thorhilda,

and suddenly all hell breaks loose – my god, what madness!

It is certainly true that Uncle Thrain is caught in the act when Aunt Thorhilda noices him staring at the 14-year-old Thorgerda at the reception. And Uncle Thrain unfortunately does not hide his lust at all - his mouth gapes open wide, and he just stares and stares at the young Thorgerda with “bulging eyes”, according to his wife. What madness !!!

It sounds a little untactful of Uncle Thrain to make his horny feelings so obvious, I have to say. But we must bear in mind that this kind of behaviour on the part of uncles is considered something to be expected. And for some time it's actually been the sign of a fashionable and trendy wedding.

Just 5 years ago, my go-to news site, Onion News, published the following list of the year's most fashionable trends when it came to weddings, and “Uncle Gary” appeared on the list again - no surprise there!

Onion News's list of year 2014's top 11 wedding trends

12:00 Lois and I have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 1:15 pm and prepare myself, physically (getting dressed!) and mentally, to brave the crowds in the town centre.

13:30 I take the bus into town, walk into the Everyman theatre café and order a "flat white" and a packet of biscuits, and wait for the other members of the Old Norse group to show up. At 2 pm we all go up the stairs to the bar and start our meeting.

I'm really tired again, and at the beginning of the meeting I feel a bit like a zombie, but somehow I find some energy from somewhere deep inside me, and slowly my tongue loosens  and we have a lot of fun again.  We actually end up doing a lot of talking and joking about this crazy epic, ie Njal’s saga, which is nice.

We talk a little about medieval Icelandic weddings: the most important thing for the wedding organisers to get right was the seating plan: exactly where a guest should sit was the clearest sign of how important he or she was, in comparison to the other guests, so it was critical for wedding planners not to make a mistake.

the elaborate seating plan for Gunnar and Hallgerda's wedding reception

Halfway through Gunnar and Hallgerda's reception, their wedding in fact turned unexpectedly into a double wedding when guest Uncle Thrain divorced his wife on the spot after he caught sight of the beautiful, 14-year-old Thorgerda.

Now there were 2 happy couples getting hitched, Gunnar and Hallgerda, and now also Uncle Thrain and little Thorgerda, so wedding organisers had to quickly change the seating plan on the hoof, which must have been a bit of a nightmare, to put it mildly!

Old Norse sagas often contained quite long guest lists when it came to weddings. Scilla says that important guests often paid the saga-writer a sum of money, so he would mention them by name.

I comment that it was a bit like, for example, today's "sponsors" (companies or private individuals) who sponsor newly built public buildings, bridges, etc., even roundabouts.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!

a typical sponsored roundabout -

my god, what madness !!!!

16:00 The group meeting ends and I take the bus home again. I'm exhausted again after 2 hours of Old Norse - yikes! These meetings last too long, in my opinion. An hour and a half should be the maximum.

18:00 Lois and I have dinner and afterwards we have to go out again. Lois has 3 evening appointments this week: last night's Bible Seminar, tonight her sect’s monthly business meeting in Tewkesbury, and tomorrow night the sect's female members have scheduled a get-together at the Beefeater Restaurant in north Cheltenham. My problem is that Lois has not yet gotten used to her new glasses so she has asked me to drive her to all three events. Luckily, I don't need to pick her up tonight after the end of the business meeting - Gill is willing to drive Lois home, thank goodness.

We drive over to Tewkesbury and I drop Lois off in front of the library where the business meeting is to be held. I drive home again.

20:00 I have a little alone time, and watch a little television. The second episode of a new chat-show series is on, starring Steve Coogan, as the television host Alan Partridge. Alan's co-host is Jennie Gresham, played by the charming Susannah Fielding.

A touching episode where Partridge and his co-host Jennie celebrate the life and career of the show's former host, John Baskell, who unfortunately died last weekend.

Remember Elton John’s "It seemed to me she lived her life like a candle in the wind" ?

Partridge, with candle in hand, touchingly quotes, and perhaps even enhances,  Elton John's famous "Candle in the Wind" musical eulogy to Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana , with his own metaphorical eulogy to the deceased Baskell: "It seemed to me, he lived his life like an oil-rig flare-stack in a North Sea gale".

Partridge then follows up his moving eulogy with a list of some of the many programmes that Barskel hosted during his long television career, starting with the travel show, "Get Away".

It is also very touching that television viewers' emotional tweets about Barskel are continuously displayed on an electronic screen, as they come in.

the first of a series of emotionally charged tweets come in, 

from various grieving tv-viewers

an interesting UK map is featured: little lights illuminate 

to indicate where each tweeter lives

A bunch of other emotional tweets then follow:

John came to open the Music Centre at my school and made us all laugh by dressing in shorts and pretending to be a pupil.

Had a heart attack myself 2 years ago. Since then I’ve become a vegetarian and am toying with becoming Vegan – but I do love my milk! Still, sad to lose him. Did he also like milk?

I remember watching you on the Seaside Summer Special in Great Yarmouth in the early 90’s, John. Brilliant show. Still chuckle at you trying to dance like a scarecrow! Hilarious. Wish I’d taped it. Can’t find it on YouTube. God bless xx.

All this bullshit about what a great guy John was. Pass the sickbag.

He gave me a pottery lesson and sat behind me wearing Speedos, and saying, “I’m like Patrick Swayze in Ghost.” It started off as a vase, but by the time he’d finished fondling me, it was just a very wide ashtray.

I once took a cup of tea to his dressing-room, and he flopped his gown open, gyrated his hips and twirled his penis around, saying “I’m a Catherine-Wheel” (PS my name is Catherine).

22:30 Lois comes back from Tewkesbury and we go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!

Danish translation

10:00 Jeg går I gang med at blade igennem kapiter 32-33 af Njals saga, skrevet i det 13. århundrede i Island  – sagaen er den lokale U3A oldnordiske gruppens nuværende projekt. Gruppen holder sit næste møde i eftermiddag i byens Everyman-teater, vores første møde siden den 23. januar, på grund af Scillas fravær – Scilla, gruppens leder, har været syg, også aflyste hun et møde på grund af en aftale ved hendes tandlæge.

Gunnar, der er blevet til helten af kapitlerne 30-33 er nu kommet tilbage hjem til Island efter mange voldsomme eventyre rundt omkring på kysterne af Østersøen, hvor det lykkeddes ham at dræbe op til 14 mænd om dagen og snuppe en masse krigbytte oven i køben.

Nu har Gunnar lyst til at gifte sig med en pæn islandsk kvinde. En dag spotter han en smuk kvinde, Hallgjerd, med meget langt lyst hår ned til brystet og klædt i en rød kåbe og en pink kjole, og han får et megacrush på hende.

Gunnar ser Hallgerda for første gang, og det er

kærlighed ved første øjekast for hans vedkommende

Gunnar får lov til at gifte sig med Hallgjerd, men han synes ikke at bemærke advarselssignalerne. Hun er en meget egensindig kvinde (måske foretrækker han sådanne nogle kvinder?). Når de møder hinanden for første gang, taler hun ”dristigt” og ”højlydt”, og det er hun, der dominerer samtalen. Gunnar spørger, om hun er single. Hun svarer, at ja, hun er single – og hun synes, at der er ikke mange mænd, der kunne tåle hende – yikes! Og hun siger også, at hun er meget kræsen, når det kommer til mænd. Du godeste! Jeg forudser problemer forude, ingen tvivl om det.

Alle Gunnars venner prøver at advare ham mod Hallgjerd, men han er fast besluttet på at have hende – yikes, Gunnar !!!!! Din impulsive nar !!!!

Jeg mistænker, at Gunnar foretrækker den slags kvinde, der har styr på forholdet.  Jeg ved hvor han kommer fra – jeg kan godt lide det, når Lois er i super-selvsikker humør, og jeg kan slippe tøjlerne herhjemme og lade hende tage føringen. Men jeg er ikke helt sikker på, om jeg kunne udholde det dag ud dag ind. Men det er juryen stadig ude om. Vi får se!

11:00 Jeg tage en kort pause, og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen.

11:30 Jeg fortsætter med at læse den næste kapitel af Njals saga - kapitel 34.

Gunnar har trodset rådet af sine venner og slægtninge og har besluttet at gifte sig med Hallgerda, en egensindig kvinde med en fortid, en kvinde som ingen synes at holde ret meget af.

Desværre til deres bryllupsfest, har parret inviteret en onkel – Gunnars onkel Thrain, der  laver en scene, der lægger en dæmper på festlighederne. Han skændes med sin kone Tante Thorhilda – hun har bemærket ham stirre på den 14-årige Thorgerda, og helvede bryder løs.

Gunnar og Hillgerdas bryllupsfest – alt går godt, indtil

Gunnars Onkel Thrain skændes med Tante Thorhilda,

og pludselig bryder helvede løs – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Det er bestemt sandt, at Onkel Thrain er grebet på fersk gerning, da Tante Thorhilda bemærker ham i færd med at stirre på den 14-årige Thorgerda til bryllupsfesten.  Og Onkel Thrain lægger desværre ikke skjul på det hele – hans mund gaber åbent, og han stirrer på Thorgerda med udstående øjne, ifølge hans kone. Sikke et vanvid!!!

Det lyder lidt indiskret af Onkel Thrain at gøre sine liderlige følelser så åbenbare – det må jeg nok sige. Men vi må huske på, at denne slags adfærsel fra onklers side er betragtet som noget at forvente. Og i visse periode er det et tegn på et moderigtigt og trendy bryllup.

For netop 5 år siden offentliggjorde mit go-to nyhedswebsted, Onion News, den følgende liste over årets mest moderigtige trends, når det kom til bryllupper, og Onkel Gary dukkede op igen – ingen overraskelse der!

Onion News’ liste over året 2014s top 11 bryllupstrends

12:00 Lois og jeg spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 13:15 og forbereder mig, fysisk (jeg klæder mig på!) og psykisk, på at trodse folkemængderne i bymidten.

13:30 Jeg tager bussen ind i byen og kommer ind i Everyman-teatrets café og bestiller en ”flat white” og en pakke kiks, og venter på den oldnordiske gruppens andre medlemmer til at dukke op. Kl 14 går vi alle op ad trappen til baren og starter vores møde.

Jeg er så træt igen, og i begyndelsen af mødet føler jeg mig lidt som en zombie, men på en eller anden måde  finder jeg lidt energi fra et eller andet sted dybt inde i mig, og langsomt får jeg tungen på gled, og vi hygger os faktisk meget med at snakke og spøge med denne skøre saga, dvs Njals saga, igen, hvilket er rart.

Vi snakker lidt om middelalderlige islandske bryllupper:  det vigtigste for bryllupsarrangører til at få rigtigt var bordplanen: præcis hvor en gæst skulle sidde, var det klareste tegn på, hvor vigtig han/hun var i sammenligning til de andre gæster, så det var vedgørende for bryllupsarrangører ikke at tage fejl.

den udførlige bordplan til Gunnar og Hallgerdas bryllupsreception

Halvvejs i Gunnar og Hallgerdas reception, blev deres bryllup faktisk uforventet til et dobbeltbryllup, da Onkel Thrain lod sig skille fra sin kone på stedet, efter han fik øje på den smukke, 14-årige Thorgerda. Nu var der 2 lykkelige par, Gunnar og Hallgerda, og Thrain og Thorgerda, så bryllupsarrangører hurtigt skulle lave om på bordplanen, hvilket må have været lidt af et mareridt, for at sige mildt!   

Oldnordiske sagaer indeholdt ofte ganske lange gæstelister, når det kom til bryllupper. Scilla siger, at vigtige gæster ofte betalte sagaforfatteren en sum penge, så han ville omtale dem ved navn.

Jeg kommenterer, at det var lidt som, for eksempel, nutidens ”sponsorer” (firmaer eller privatpersoner), der sponserer nybyggede offentlige bygninger, broer osv, endda rundkørsler.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!

en typisk sponsoreret rundkørsel –

du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

16:00 Gruppemødet slutter og jeg tager bussen hjem igen. Jeg er udmattet igen efter 2 timers oldnorsk – yikes! Disse møder varer for længe, efter min mening. En og en halv time burde være maksimummet.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bagefter skal vi ud igen. Lois har 3 aftenaftaler i denne uge: i går aftes bibelseminaret i Brockworth, i dag sin sekts månedlige forretningsmøde i Tewkesbury, og i morgen har sektens kvindelige medllemmer planlagt en sammenkomst på Beefeater-restauranten i det nordlige Cheltenham. Mit problemet er, at Lois endnu ikke har vænnet sig til sine nye briller, så hun har bedt mig om, at køre hende til alle tre eventer. Heldigvis har jeg ikke brug for at afhente hende i aften efter endt forretningsmødet – Gill er villig til at køre Lois hjem, gudskelov.

Vi kører over til Tewkesbury og jeg sætter Lois af foran biblioteket, hvor forretningsmøde skal holdes. Jeg kører hjem igen.

20:00 Jeg har lidt alenetid, og ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser det 2. afsnit af en ny chatshowserie, stjernespækket Steve Coogan, som tv-værten Alan Partridge.  Alans co-vært er Jennie Gresham, spillet af den charmerende Susannah Fielding.

Et rørende afsnit, hvor Partridge og hans co-vært Jennie Gresham fejrer livet og karrieren af showets tidligere vært, John Baskell, der desværre døde sidste weekend.

”It seemed to me she lived her life like a candle in the wind” - med et stearinlys i hånden citerer Partridge, og forbedrer måske på en rørende måde, Elton Johns berømte ”Candle in the Wind” musikalske lovtale over Marilyn Monroe og princesse Diana, men sin egen metaforiske lovtale til den afdøde Baskell: ” det syntes for mig, at han levede sit liv som en boreplatforms gasflamme i en Nordsøblæst”.

Partridge forfølger sin rørende lovtale med en liste over nogle af de mange programmer, som Barskel var vært til under sin lang tv-karriere, startende med ferieshowet, ”Get Away”.

Det er også meget rørende, at tv-seeres følelsesladede tweets om Barskel blev fremvist i en uendelighed på en elektronisk skærm på scenen under aftenens program.

den første af en række følelsesladede tweets fra en ellen anden begrædende tv-seer

kort over Storbritannien: små lys tændes for at angive hvor hver tweeter bor

En masse andre følelsesladede tweets følger:

John came to open the Music Centre at my school and made us all laugh by dressing in shorts and pretending to be a pupil.

Had a heart attack myself 2 years ago. Since then I’ve become a vegetarian and am toying with becoming Vegan – but I do love my milk! Still sad to lose him. Did he also like milk?

I remember watching you on the Seaside Summer Special in Great Yarmouth in the early 90’s. Brilliant show.Still chuckle at you trying to dance like a scarecrow! Hilarious. Wish I’d taped it.Can’t find it on YouTube. God bless xx.

All this bullshit about what a great guy John was. Pass the sickbag.

He gave me a pottery lesson and sat behind me wearing Speedos, and saying, “I’m like Patrick Swayze in Ghost.” It started off as a vase, but by the time he’d finished fondling me, it was just a very wide ashtray.

I once took a cup of tea to his dressing-room, and he flopped his gown open, gyrated his hips and twirled his penis around, saying “I’m a Catherine-Wheel” (my name is Catherine).

22:30 Lois kommer tilbage fra Tewkesbury og vi går i seng – zzzzzzzz!!!