Sunday, March 24 2019

10:30 Lois and I talk a little on whatsapp with Sarah, our younger daughter in Perth, Australia and her family:  Francis and their 5-year-old twin daughters, Lily and Jessie. They are in the car, just heading home after a day trip to Yanchep, located on the coast just north of their house in Ocean Reef. Yanchep is another area where they are considering trying to buy a piece of land so they can get a house built.

The family has taken delivery of the children's clothing parcel that we recently shipped to them, and the girls have already worn, or tried on, most of the items. They tell us which dresses, tights etc are their favourites – my god, how cute they are !!!!

flashback to April 2018: me (left) at a beach cafe in the Margaret River region,

Western Australia, along with Francis, Sarah, and the twins

The sun is shining over there today, just like here, but the temperature (C) over there is twice as high (20 instead of 10). And just as we’re coming into spring here, they’re going into autumn  – good grief, what a crazy planet we live on !

I tell them about the cruise ship sailing down the Norwegian coast with 1400 mostly British and American passengers, who are having to be evacuated one by one, winched off by helicopters in high winds.

I comment that many of our friends are constantly recommending Lois and me to go on cruises, because of the so-called "luxury factor" - maximum comfort, soft beds, and lashings of luxury food and luxury drinks available at any time etc etc The last thing one expects on a cruise is to have to be winched up on a wire high over the stormy North Sea – my god, what a shock to the ship's overwhelmingly retiree-passengers! Quelle nightmare!

Not to mention the risks of the ship going aground in the Mediterranean, being hijacked by pirates in the Indian Ocean, or being hit by epidemics (worldwide). My goodness! It's simply not worth it - that's my verdict !

I tell Sarah and Francis about Storm "Uncle Gary" which recently hit Britain. But it doesn't impress them - again Australia has twice as many problems as us: cyclone Veronica, which is just about to hit Western Australia, and simultaneously  cyclone Trevor, which is already hitting the Northern Territory.

Storm “Uncle Gary”

I chat to Sarah and Francis about the latest Australian cyclones. We agree that it is nice and refreshing that the two cyclones have decided to hit different states so that they do not overwhelm the same state's coastguard service, or collide with each other. How thoughtful!

Veronica and Trevor - a couple of thoughtful cyclones,

a rare thing nowadays. Like an old married couple in some ways perhaps

11:00 Sarah and family arrive  home in Ocean Reef, and Sarah now has to cook for the family and get the twins to bed. Our whatsapp call comes to an end.

Next Sunday we in Britain will have just put the clocks forward one hour, while Western Australia time stays the same, which is a little annoying - the time difference changes from 8 hours to 7, which is hard to remember for a couple of old crows like me and Lois. Damn!

I go out into the garden. I start mowing our 5 lawns for the first time since the end of winter. I adjust the mower in height so it does not cut too short for this first time. I'm no beginner to put it mildly!

I get “down and dirty”, adjusting the height on the lawnmower

with a countryman’s eye for detail

Although I do not look like it, I am actually a seasoned treasure trove of ancient knowledge, gut feelings and a true countryman’s instincts, when it comes to gardening, and I have wisdom beyond my years. The neighbours often ask me for advice on how best to cut the grass ha ha ha, though I’ve noticed they don’t put my ideas into practice. I am also quite the woodsman.

Jesse from the Fast Show is my hero and mentor when it comes to gardening, even though he never spoke about the subject on air. And Jesse was no one-trick pony, to put it mildly - he was also an esteemed nutritional expert and diet guru. During the show he would emerge periodically from his shed to inform an expectant world about his current diet, with the words: "This week I have mostly been eating ..."

my idol, and diet guru of all diet gurus - Jesse from “The Fast Show”

“Jesse's foodstuffs”, which made up Jesse's weekly obsessions, have included, at various times:

roast chickens

bourbon biscuits

taramasalata

acorns

Prozac

raspberry pop-tarts

All items that nutritionists today would dub “super foods”, which is a little spooky. Jesse was way ahead of his time, to put it mildly !!

Come back, Jesse, all is forgiven. The world badly needs your dietary advice, and now more than ever.

13:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap.

16:00 I get up. Lois is feeling much better today. She is sorting and dating the letters she wrote to her parents over the 3 years we lived in the United States (1982-85), letters which her mother kept faithfully in a small brown pouch until her death in 1995.

the brown pouch in which Lois's mother, until her death in 1995,

faithfully stored Lois’s letters from the US (1982-1985)

18:00 We have dinner and afterwards we talk a little on the phone with Alison, our elder daughter who lives in Haslemere, Surrey, along with Ed and their 3 children, Josie (12), Rosalind (10) and Isaac (8).

Alison and her family - a recent picture: Isaac (8) is second from right

Isaac took part in a school performance of the musical Bugsy Malone this afternoon. Lois and I had planned to visit them for a few days and see the show, but we had to cancel the visit when Lois got sick on Friday night. Alison says the school will be making a DVD of the show and she will order one on our behalf.

21:00 We watch some television, the first episode of a new season of "Victoria", all about the famous queen, with the gorgeous, diminutive Gemma Coleman in the lead role.

Gemma Coleman is back - hallelujah !!!!

The year is 1848 and revolutions are sweeping across the continent. A bunch of dethroned monarchs flee to Britain, something which our left-wing politicians and activists, and even the Foreign Secretary, Palmerston, are not too happy about, to put it mildly.

But Victoria is pregnant again, which is nice. And she looks like she's ready to pop. We estimate her crinoline's dress size at 200 (UK and Australia), or 198 (USA and Canada).

Victoria is pregnant again and ready to pop, which is nice. Well done again, Albert!

Lois and I come to the conclusion that we are not very fond of this series - too much conflict and condensed history and politics, short, clipped, brusque dialogues and suchlike. And the worst thing is the horrible "Downton Abbey"-voice, that all the female characters in the palace put on.

Pass the sickbag, Alice! (copyright John Junor)

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

10:30 Lois og jeg taler lidt på whatsapp med Sarah, vores yngste datter i Perth, Australien og hendes familie: Francis og deres 5-årige tvillingedøtre, Lily og Jessie. De er på vej hjem efter en dagsudflugt til Yanchep, der ligger på kysten lidt nord for deres hus i Ocean Reef. Yanchep er et andet område, hvor de overvejer at prøve at købe et stykke jord, så de kan få et hus bygget.

Familien har modtaget pakken børnetøj, vi for nylig afsendte til dem, og pigerne har allerede prøvet mange af dem. De fortæller os, hvilke kjoler, tights osv  er deres favoritter – du godeste, hvor er de dog søde!!!!

tilbageblik til april 2018: mig (til venstre) på en strandcafé i Margaret River-regionen,

Western Australia, sammen med Francis, Sarah, og tvillingerne

Solen skinner derovre, lige som her, men temperaturen (C) derovre er dobbelt så høj  (20 i stedet for 10) – du godeste, sikke et vanvid! Jeg fortæller dem om det krydstogtsskib, der sejler ned ad den norske kyst med 1400 passagere, der skal evakueres én efter én ved at blive hoistet eller løftet op af helikoptere ved hjælp af et wire.

Jeg kommenterer, at mange af vores venner konstant anbefaler Lois og mig at gå på krydstogter, på grund af den såkaldte ”luksusfaktor” – maximal komfort, bløde senge, ingen arbejde eller ubehag, luksusmad og luksusdrikke til rådighed når som helst osv osv. Det sidste man forventer er at blive løftet op ved hjælp af et wire over den stormige Nordsø – du godeste, sikke et chok for skibets overvældende pensionerede brite og amerikanske passagerer! Sikke et mareridt!

For ikke at nævne, risikoerne for at skibet går på grund i middelhavet, blive kapret af sørøvere i det indiske ocean, eller bliver ramt af epidemier (verden over). Du godeste! Det er simpelthen ikke det værd - det er min dom!

Jeg fortæller Sarah og Francis om stormen ”Onkel Gary”, der for nylig ramte Storbritannien.  Men det imponerer dem ikke – igen har Australien dobbelt så mange problemer som os: cyklonen Veronica, der er lige ved at ramme Western Australia, og cyklonen Trevor, der er i gang med at ramme Northern Territory.

Stormen “Onkel Gary”

Jeg snakker med Sarah og Francis om de seneste cykloner. Vi er enige om, at det er forfriskende rart at de to cykloner har besluttet at ramme forskellige delstater, så de ikke overvælder samme kystvagterne, og heller ikke kollidere med hinanden. Hvor betænksomt!

Veronica og Trevor - et par betænksomme cykloner

11:00 Familien kommer hjem, og Sarah er nødt til at lave mad til familien og få tvillingerne i seng.

Næste søndag vil vi i Storbritannien lige have stillet urene frem 1 time, mens Western Australia-tid bliver den samme, hvilket er lidt irriterende – tidsforskellen ændres fra 8 timer til 7, hvilket er svært at huske for gamle krager som mig og Lois. Pokkers!

Whatsapp-opkaldet slutter og jeg går ud i haven. Jeg går i gang med at klippe vores 5 græsplæner, for første gang siden slutningen af vinteren. Jeg justerer græsslåmaskinen i højde, så den ikke klipper for kort for denne første gang. Jeg er ikke nogen begynder, for at sige mildt!

Selvom jeg ikke ser sådan ud, er jeg faktisk en skattekiste af ældgammel viden og mavefornemmelser, når det kommer til havearbejde, og jeg har visdom ud over mine år. Naboerne beder mig ofte om råd, om hvordan man kan bedst klippe græsset ha ha ha.

jeg kommer ”ned og beskidt”, i gang med at justere græsslåmaskinen i højde

Og Jesse var ikke en one trick pony, for at sige mildt – han var også en ernæringsekspert og madmentor. Under showet dukkede han sporadisk frem ud af sit skur for at informere en forventningsfuld verden om sin nuværende kost, med ordene: "Denne uge har jeg for det meste spist ..."

my idol, and gardener of all gardeners - Jesse from “The Fast Show”

”Jesses madvarer”, der udgør Jesse's ugentlige obsessioner, har medtaget:

stege kyllinger

bourbon kiks

taramasalata

agern

Prozac

hindbær pop-tarts

Alle lækkerier, som ernæringseksperter i dag ville kalde "super-fødevarer", hvilket er lidt uhyggeligt. Jesse var forud for sin tid, for at sige mildt !!

Kom tilbage, Jesse, alt er tilgivet! Verden har brug for dit kostråd, nu mere end nogensinde.

13:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur – zzzzzzz!!!

16:00 Jeg står op. Lois har det meget bedre i dag. Hun er i gang med at sortere og datere de breve, hun skrev til sine forældre gennem de 3 år, vi boede i USA (1982-85), breve, som hendes mor forsigtigt og trofast opbevarede i en lille brun pung indtil sin død i 1995.

den brune pung, hvori Lois’ mor indtil sin død i 1995

trofast opbevarede Lois’ breve fra USA (1982-1985)

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bagefter taler vi lidt i telefon med Alison, vores ældste datter, der bor i Haslemere, Surrey, sammen med Ed og deres 3 børn, Josie (12), Rosalind (10) og Isaac (8).

Alison og hendes familie - et nyligt billede

Isaac deltog i eftermiddags i en skoleforestilling af musicalen Bugsy Malone. Lois og jeg havde planlagt at besøge dem i et par dage og se forestillingen, men vi måtte aflyse besøget, da Lois blev syg fredag aften. Alison siger, skolen vil sælge en dvd af forestillingen og hun vil bestille en på vores vegne.

21:00 Vi ser lidt fjernsyn, det første afsnit af en ny sæson af ”Victoria”, der handler om den berømte dronning, med den pragtfulde, diminutive  Gemma Coleman i hovedrollen.

Gemma Coleman er tilbage – hallelujah!!!!

Året er 1848 og revolutioner fejer tværs over kontinentet. En flok af detroniserede monarker flygter til Storbritannien, hvilket vores mere venstreorientede politiker og aktivister ikke er glade for, for at sige mildt.

Men Victoria er gravid igen, hvilket er rart. Og hun ser ud som om, hun er klar til at poppe. Vi anslår hendes krinolins kjole-størrelse til 200 (UK og Australien), eller 198 (USA og Canada).

Victoria er gravid igen og klar til at poppe, hvilket er rart. Godt klaret, Albert!

Lois og jeg kommer til den konklusion, at vi ikke holder meget af denne serie – for meget konflikt og sammentrængt historie, korte, barske dialoger og den slags. Og det værste er den der forfærdelige ”Downton Abbey” stemme, som alle de kvindelige karakterer i paladset påtager sig.

Ræk mig nu opkastningsposen, Alice!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!