Constant noise - oh dear, it's the curse of the modern age, isn't it.
Did you see those hard-hitting comments from local man Bob Dunham in Onion News (Worcestershire) the other day? I bet it struck a few chords! It certainly did with my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me, that's for sure!
But at least Bob knows where the noise is coming from (!).
Unlike Lois and me, the night before last, in bed in our shiny-new new-build home here in Malvern, Worcestershire - a mysterious "beeping" was coming from somewhere: that's a handy thing to happen after midnight isn't it!
And the beeping continued, every 30 seconds, for the rest of the night, until it, just as mysteriously, stopped about 8 am.
It reminded us of Larry David on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" - remember that episode?
Unlike poor Lee and Lucy, when their romantic "date night" got 'hijacked' by a house sound (!).
You know the incident, it was in that re-run of their sitcom "Not Going Out" that was being shown this week on the Drama Channel, the one where Lucy asks Lee if they can try a "date night", and she cooks Lee a special fomantic meal by candlelight?
What a crazy world we live in !!!!
Lee assumes that Lucy wants to "put the passion back into their marriage", with a romantic dinner followed by sex on the dining-table? It's a bit of a cliché, I know, but bear with me!
They have the meal on the table, but they don't have the sex there afterwards, because, "mid-date", Lee hears a mysterious noise and he just has to track it down before they do anything else, and so spends the evening scouring the house, "killing the mood", to put it mildly (!).
Oh dear!
[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]
Lee and Lucy's romantic evening is interrupted by a mysterious
noise that Lee just "has" to get to the bottom of - what madness!
[That's enough old sitcoms! - Ed]
Of course in our case, as Lois and I discovered, it was the smoke alarm in our living room that was making the noise, presumably because it needed a new battery. And, handily, it seems to have been designed so that it only beeps at night. Also, it's been designed so that the little 0.25 inch "flap" - the one you have to push on to open the little bugger up to get the battery out - is almost totally invisible - unhelpful or what?
What is this modern obsession with making devices look "sleek" and "beautiful" although totally lacking in helpful markings, at the expense of usefulness, useful information, and user-friendliness? It's total madness !!!!
And Lois and I are in a total panic this morning, because the noise in our living-room is absolutely deafening. If it were just us we could just hide somewhere - in the kitchen or in bed - to escape the noise, but (a) we've got a whatsapp video call with Sarah this morning, followed by (b) a visit by one of Lois's former co-workers at the Cheltenham care home for old vicars that she used to work at before she retired in 2006.
While I fiddle about watching YouTube videos about "how to change the battery on your smoke alarm" and start fiddling about with a set of screwdrivers, Lois consults neighbours etc, and eventually we find out how you do it with the specially unhelpful smoke alarms installed in this new-build estate.
after consulting two neighbours, we find out
where the totally unmarked "flap" is, the one you
have to push on to open the smoke alarm and
remove the battery - what madness !!!!
[No wonder neighbours call you "that pair of 'noggins' ! - Ed]
11:00 The deafening beeping now silenced, Lois and I are now able to enjoy a nice whatsapp video call with our daughter Sarah, husband Francis and their 11-year-old twins Lily and Jessica.
A couple of weeks ago the family arrived in Australia to start a new life over there. Just 2 days ago, they moved into a rental home in the Perth suburb of Eglinton, within a stone's throw of the Indian Ocean. They've only got limited furniture as yet - a table and chairs and a set of blow-up beds, but at least they're in, bless 'em!
Awwwwww !!!!
our daughter Sarah with our granddaughter Jessica...
...and granddaughter Lily
the view from their rental home - the sun
setting behind some local hills or
sand-dunes or something of the sort (?)
The setting sun - awww !!!! Yes, over here it's 11 o'clock in the morning, but over there it's 6 o'clock in the evening, which seems weird.
What a crazy planet we live on !!!!!
14:00 After a "scratch" lunch, Sheila, Lois's former co-worker from the vicar's care-home, arrives brought from her home in Churchdown, Gloucestershire, by her son Matthew.
Lois (right) with her former co-worker Sheila:
the pair used to work together at a Cheltenham
care-home for retired Anglican vicars
An enjoyable visit but it's pretty much all 'talk' and nothing much else. Lois and I had anticipated that Sheila would be wanting "the tour" of our house and garden, small though they seem to us, so we spent a lot of time yesterday and this morning, cleaning, tidying, hoovering etc. However, Sheila just sat on our couch the whole time, and she's quite the talker, to put it mildly - my goodness !!!
Also we bought a load of biscuits to offer them, and Lois made some rock cakes. Sheila just had one rock-cake and no biscuits, and her son Matthew said he "never eats cake or biscuits".
Just our luck!!! Now Lois and I will have to eat them up, which would be nice if we weren't on a diet. Damn !!!!!
It was nice for Lois and Sheila to get together to talk about the old times at the care-home, because, sadly, apart from Iris who lives 100 miles away, over in Bedford, all their other co-workers have "passed on", which is a pity.
the dining room and...
.....the gardens of the care home for retired vicars and their wives
where Lois and Sheila both worked till the early 2000s
flashback to circa 1995: the local retirement home for Anglican vicars,
when female staffers dressed up as schoolgirls for the charity
"Red Nose Day": Lois is on the far right, wearing one of
my old Bristol Grammar School ties round her neck: Lois is
the only one left now, of those 6 "schoolgirls", which is sad
flashback to the 1990's: 7:30 am on another charity Red Nose Day
- Lois dresses up as a footballer for her working day at the care home
22:00 And how nice it is to go to bed tonight without being annoyed by any unexplained beeps, apart from the beeping under the bedclothes coming from Lois's Huawei, needless to say, but we've got used to that, to put it mildly!
Lois's Huawei, beeping again the bedclothes
- at least we know what's causing that particular noise haha!
And before we turn over and go to sleep, there's just time to send our twin granddaughters an update on some of the stuffed toys they left behind in England, "to keep Lois and me company", and partly due to lack of space in their shipment crates and hand-luggage.
Rover, seen here with Black-and-White Cat
Buckles the Unicorn with Black-and-White Cat,
on the bed the twins used to sleep in
when they stayed the weekend with us
Poor Buckles !!!!!!
Awwww !!!!!
[Oh just go to sleep !!!! - Ed]
Zzzzzz!!!!
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