Lørdag den 21. oktober 2017

04:00 Jeg står tidligt op og kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg ser, at vores børnebørn i København er været på deres efterårsferie i denne uge, ligesoma alle børn i Danmark, og Alison, vores datter, kørte dem i går ned til Roskilde for at besøge byens vikingskibsmuseum. Eftersom det denne uge er efterårsferie havde museet organiseret en masse aktiviteter for børn.

Alison  siger, at derfor kan hun godt lide at være i Danmark, fordi de viser en sund respektløshed i forhold til sundhed og sikkerhed, så børnene kunne hygge sig med at gå ind for aktiviter, der aldrig ville være tilladt i Storbritannien, for eksempel (1) at klæder sig ud som vikinger og lave brød over en åben ild, (2) slås med træsverd, (3) lave træbåde ved hjælp af sav, og (4) se på et falkejagt show, hvor døde kyllinger bliver revet i stykker før deres   øjne – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Vikingskibsmuseum  i Roskilde: vores børnebørn i Danmark kan

hygge sig med at dyrke aktiviteter, der aldrig ville være tilladt i Storbritannien,

hvor sundhed og sikkerhed er gjort til den nye religon – rent vanvid!!!!

Jeg har ikke nogen tvivl om, at respekt for sundhed og sikkerhed er så småt gået i gang med at ødelægge vores evne til at nyde livet, og nu er begyndt at invadere den ikke angel-saksiske verden. Ifølge The Onion, den inflydelsesrige amerikanske nyhedskilde, har selve pave Francis begyndt at gå med en bispehue udstyret med et hårdt polykarbonat-ansigtsskjold for at overholde Vatikanets nye sundheds- og sikkerhedsstandarder.  Ansigtsskjoldet består af en kraftig, stænkbestandig visir, der beskytter øjnene og ansigtet mod ”alt fra forurenet helligt vand til flyvende gnister fra et svingende rygelseskar ". Rent vanvid – verden er gået gal, ingen tvivl om det.

Pave Francis i sit spritnye ansigtsskjold

07:00 Jeg får en trist sms fra Sarah, vores datter i Australien. Hun og Francis, hendes mand,  har besluttet at aflive Buddy, familiens hund, på grund at hans gigt og almindelige svaghed, for at sætte ham ud af sin elendighed.

Jeg ved, at Sarah er meget meget trist over, hvad der er sket med Buddy, siden familien i december 2015 flyttede til Australien. Hun brød sammen i gråd i løbet af sidste weekends opkald. Hun er en meget følsom kvinde – hun føler sig skyldig for, at de medbragte Buddy for 2 år siden fra England til Australien, og rejsen og den efterfølgende 2 uger i byen Melbournes karantænestation,  involverede en meget stressende oplevelse for ham.

Den oprindelige idé var, at Australien skulle være et sundere miljø for Buddy, med flere lejigheder til at gå lange sunde ture med ham på stranden, i parkerne, ude på landet osv, men disse planer blev faktisk ikke til noget – problemerne med at vænne sig til et nyt land, finde et job, finde et hus i et pænt nabolag, og at passe på deres 4-årige tvillinger betød, at Buddy blev til en lav prioritet.

tilbageblik til maj 2016 – Lois og jeg på besøg hos Sarah, vores datter

i Australien. I billedet kan ses Lilly, en af familiens to (nu) 4,5-årige tvillinger.

I baggrunden er Lois, sammen med Buddy, familiens hund.

Jeg føler mig lidt skyldig også, fordi jeg altid forsøgte at ignore Buddy, da vi var hos Sarah, så han ikke bliver for begejstret. Lois og jeg er ikke rigtig hundemennesker, og vi fandt det altid svært at udholde Buddys livlighed og gentagende gøen. Lois var venligere overfor ham – det må jeg indrømme - og plejede at stryge ham fra tid til anden, men problemet var at han var så stor og kraftig – han lignede mere en lille hest, end en hund, syntes vi.

Nu er han desværre død, men folk har fortalt os, at 9 år er ikke en dårlig levetid for en racehund, fordi deres gener er svage på grund af indavl. Men vi kender ikke noget til hunde ærligt talt. Stakkels Buddy.

Lois og jeg syntes altid, det var sindssygt at tage Buddy med, da familien flyttede til Australien, og at satte ham i en situation, hvor han skulle udholde den lange flyvetur og karantæn-perioden i Melbourne, langt væk fra familien. Hvorfor prøvede de ikke at finde Buddy en venlig ny ejer i England? Men det springer vi over. Vi er ikke rigtig hundemennesker, så er jeg helt sikker på, at vi tænker anderledes end hundeelskere.

09:00 Vi kører til det lokale Sainsburys-supermarked for at købe ind. På vej smutter vi ind i Waghornes, den lokale slagterforretning, for at købe kød, ost, og brød. Vi kører hjem og slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen.

11:00 Vi går i bad og bagefter spiser vi frokost. Jeg går så i seng for at tage mig en kort eftermiddagslur, mens Lois skynder sig ind i køkkenet for at lave æggemadder. Andy, den mest aktive person i Lois’s kirkens lederskab har inviteret Lois og mig til eftermiddagsté med sandwicher og kager hos sit og Angies hus i landsbyen Twyning. Han har faktisk inviteret alle de kirkemedlemmer (ca 20-30 mennesker i alt), der hjalp med at bemande kirkens pop-up shop, som kirken drev i 10 uger fra juli til september i bymidten.

Jeg er ikke kirkemedlem, men jeg antager at jeg først og fremmest blev inviteret, fordi Lois har brug for en chauffør – hun er ikke tilladt at køre bil for tiden. Hendes nylige øjenoperation var succesfuld, men hun venter stadig på at få sine nye briller, som skal afhentes på onsdag.

Jeg bliver pludselig klar over, at jeg føler mig lidt nervøs – jeg har tendens til at være lidt af en enspænder socialt, jeg er helt sikker ikke et flokmenneske. Også forudser jeg, at jeg konstant bliver nødt til at prøve at skifte emne, hvis nogen begynder at tale religion med mig – yikes! Pokkers!!!!

14:15 Vi kører over til landsbyen Twyning. Vejret er ikke godt – det blæser og regner kraftigt. Tak, storm Brian ha ha ha!!!

Vi sidder i Andy og Angies stue og snakker med de andre gæster. De er faktisk meget søde overfor mig, og det lykkes mig faktisk at styre samtalen væk fra religion så meget som muligt. Jeg finder ud af, at Andy faktisk er meget taknemmelig for det arbejde, jeg gjorde for at skabe et online skema, der gav detaljer om, hvem havde indvilliget i at dække hvilket halvdage i kirkens pop-up shop.

eftermiddagens madbord, fremvisende Lois’s æggemadder

vi sidder i Andy og Angies stue og snakker med de andre gæster

- skræmmende for mig: jeg er sikke et pivehoved ha ha ha!!!!

Lois og jeg sidder i sofaen til venstre.

17:30 Vi kører hjem. Jeg er slået ud af den store indsats, jeg lagde i at snakke med fremmede mennesker til en social arrangement uden at gå i panik. Og den store indsats, jeg lagde i at holde samtaleemnet væk fra religion. Du godeste!

Lois siger ofte, at hun også er introvert, men jeg har bemærket, at hun faktisk ofte henter fornyet energi fra sociale arrangementer, og i aften hopper hun af begejstring, mens jeg er krøllet op i min yndlingslænestol  - uha!

Jeg fejrer, at jeg ”overlevede” eftermiddagen, ved at drikke en traditionel øl, Ringwood Razor Back – tak, det trængte jeg til!!!

Jeg fejrer, at jeg overlevede eftermiddagen

ved at drikke en Razor Back fra Ringwood-bryggeriet.

Tak, det trængte jeg til !!!!!

20:00 Vi bruger aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn og går i seng kl 22, som sædvanligt. Lois hopper stadig af begejstring – jeg håber kun, hun ikke forstyrer mig. Du godeste, jeg er sikke et pivehoved ha ha ha!

English translation

04:00 I get up early and take a little look online. I see that our grandchildren in Copenhagen have been on their autumn break this week, just like all children in Denmark, and Alison, our daughter, drove them yesterday down to Roskilde to visit the city's Viking Ship Museum. Because this week is autumn break, the museum had organized a lot of activities for children.

Alison says the reason she likes being in Denmark is because they show a healthy disrespect for health and safety, so that the children were able to enjoy activities that would never be allowed in Britain, for example ( 1) dressing up as vikings and making bread over an open fire, (2) fighting with wooden swords, (3) making wooden boats using a saw, and (4) watching a falconry display where dead chickens are torn apart before their eyes - good grief, what madness !!!!

The Viking Ship Museum in Roskilde: our grandchildren in Denmark

can enjoy activities that would never be allowed in Britain,where health

and safety have become the new religion - pure madness !!!!

I have no doubt that respect for health and safety has slowly started to destroy our ability to enjoy life and now has begun to invade the non-Anglo-Saxon world as well. According to The Onion, the influential American news source, Pope Francis himself has begun to go around in a mitre equipped with a hard polycarbonate face-shield to comply with the Vatican's new health and safety standards. The face-shield has a powerful, splash resistant visor that protects the eyes and face from "everything from contaminated holy water to flying sparks from a swinging thurible." Pure madness - the world has gone crazy, no doubt about that.

Pope Francis in his shiny new face-shield

07:00 I get a sad text from Sarah, our daughter in Australia. She and Francis, her husband, have decided to have Buddy, the family's dog, put down, due to his arthritis and general weakness, so as to put him out of his misery.

I know Sarah is very sad about what happened to Buddy since the family moved to Australia in December 2015. She burst into tears during last week's phone call with us. She is a very sensitive young woman - she feels guilty that they brought Buddy with them from England to Australia 2 years ago. The journey and the subsequent 2 weeks in Melbourne's quarantine station proved to be a very stressful experience for him.

The original idea was that Australia would be a healthier environment for Buddy, with more opportunities to go long healthy walks with him on the beach, in the parks, in the countryside etc, but these plans did not really come to anything - the problems of getting used to a new country, finding a job, finding a house in a nice neighborhood, and taking care of their 4-year-old twins, meant that Buddy became a low priority.

Flashback to May 2016 - Lois and I visit Sarah, our daughter

in Australia. In the picture you can see Lily, one of the family's two (now) 

4 and a half-year-old twins. In the background, Lois with Buddy, the family's dog.

I feel a little guilty too because I always tried to ignore Buddy when we were with Sarah so he did not get too excited. Lois and I are not really dog people, and we always found it difficult to put up with Buddy's liveliness and repetitive barking. Lois was friendlier to him - I have to admit - and used to stroke him from time to time, but the problem was that he was so big and powerful - he was more like a small horse than a dog, we thought.

Now, unfortunately, he is dead, but people have told us that 9 years is not a bad lifespan for a pedigree dog because their genes are weak through inbreeding. But we do not know anything about dogs to be honest. Poor Buddy.

Lois and I always thought it was insane to take Buddy along when the family moved to Australia and put him in a situation where he had to endure the long flight and quarantine period in Melbourne, far away from the family. Why did they not try Buddy to find a friendly new owner in England? But we are going to let that one slide. We are not really dog people, so I'm sure we think differently than dog lovers.

09:00 We drive to the local Sainsburys supermarket to do the weekly shop. On our way we pop into Waghornes, the local butcher's shop, to buy meat, cheese and bread. We drive home and relax with a cup of coffee on the couch.

11:00 We go in the shower and afterwards we have lunch. I then go to bed to take a short afternoon nap while Lois hurries into the kitchen to make egg rolls. Andy, the most active person in Lois's church's leadership, has invited Lois and me to afternoon tea with sandwiches and cakes at his and Angie's house in the village of Twyning. He has actually invited all those church members (about 20-30 people in total) who helped man the church's pop-up shop, which the church operated for 10 weeks from July to September in the town center.

I'm not a church member, but I assume I was mainly invited because Lois needs a driver - she is not allowed to drive a car at the moment. Her recent eye surgery was successful, but she is still waiting for her new glasses, which we have to pick up on Wednesday.

I suddenly realize that I am feeling a little nervous - I tend to be a bit of a loner socially, I'm definitely not a "party" person. Also, I foresee that I will constantly be having to try changing the subject if someone begins to talk religion with me - yikes! Damn !!!!

14:15 We drive over to the village of Twyning. The weather is not good - strong winds and heavy rain. Thanks, storm Brian ha ha ha !!!

We sit in Andy and Angie's living room and talk with the other guests. In fact, they are very nice to me, and I succeed in steering the conversation away from religion as much as possible. I find that Andy is actually very grateful for the work I did to create an online schedule that gave details of who had agreed to cover what half-days in the church's pop-up shop.

the afternoon food table, showcasing Lois's egg rolls

We sit in Andy and Angie's living room and talk with the other guests

- scary to me: I'm such a whinger ha ha ha !!!!

Lois and I sit on the couch on the left.

17:30 We drive home.  I am wiped out by the great effort I put into talking to strangers at a social event without panicking. And the great effort I put into keeping the topic of conversation away from religion. My Goodness!

Lois often says that she is also introverted, but I have noticed that she actually often picks up renewed energy from social events, and this evening she is jumping with excitement while I'm slumped in my favorite armchair - oh dear!

I celebrate "surviving" the afternoon by drinking a traditional beer, Ringwood Razor Back – thanks, I needed that !!!

I celebrate surviving the afternoon

by drinking a Razor Back from the Ringwood Brewery.

Thanks, I needed that !!!!!

20:00 We spend the evening watching television and go to bed at 10pm, as usual. Lois is still jumping with excitement - I only hope she does not disturb me. Goodness, I'm such a whinger ha ha ha!