Danskcolin: Torsdag den 16. november 2017

Minx, vores datter Alisons kat, har sin store dag i dag. Alison efterlod Minx hos os, da hendes familie flyttede i 2015 til Danmark.

Dyrlægen undersøgte Minx’ mund for en uge siden og sagde, at én tand var blevet brudt og en anden var revnet og der var også betændelse på den ene side. Hun undersøgte Minx også mere generelt og opdagede, at hendes hjerte viste tegn på sygdom, hvilket kunne diagnosticeres fra lydene, hendes lille hjerte gjorde. Dette ville gøre anvendelsen af en bedøvelsen mere problematisk – med øgede muligheder for hjerteanfald eller slagtilfælde

I dag skal dyrelægen lave blodprøver for at bekræfte det hele, også en præanaestetisk ekkokardiografi, hvis det bliver besluttet at gå videre med operationen på tænderne.

08:30 Minx er pissesur på os, fordi vi ikke har fodret hende siden i går aftes kl 20 (efter dyrlægens anvisninger), men vi kører hende over til klinikken, der ligger ved indgangen til den lokale væddeløbsbanen, og rækker hende til en af klinikkens sygeplejersker.

09:00 Vi kommer hjem og går i gang med at rydde op i huset og støvsuge overalt, fordi vores U3A danske gruppes næste møde finder sted her kl 14:30.

12:00 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet og laver frokost. Bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage mig en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 14 og forbereder mig på vores danske gruppes møde.

14:30 Gruppens medlemmer ankommer. De starter med at tage den danske ordforrådtest, jeg har udtænkt, og derefter læser vi de næste 10 sider af den dankse kriminovelle, Gittemie Eriksens ”Forbandet”, der er gruppens nuværende projekt.

Alle medlemmerne ved nu (fordi jeg advarede dem), at vi har en sex-scene forude (på sider 108-109 i Kindle-versionen). Sexscenen udspiller sig i sengen af novellens helt, Per Jansson, landbetjent i en normalt stille og rolig dansk landsby, hvor en vanvittig massemorder er på fri fod i området.

Landbetjenten Jansson bliver morgen tidligt overtalt af sin kone, Vivi, til at blive liggende lidt længere i sengen og give hende ”én omgang til” (han havde allerede nogle timer tidligere ordnede hende) - selvom han netop har fået et telefonopkald fra sin chef, bedende ham om at møde ind, fordi endnu 2 døde kroppe er blevet fundet, en mand og hans kusine.

Lois og jeg mener, at der er lidt for meget information i denne sexscene, herunder nogle fysiske tegn på parrets ophidselse, som vi hellere ville være gået glip af – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Vi forstår ikke, hvorfor forfatteren gik i sådanne detaljer – er det vigtigt for plottet? Det er måske betydningsfuldt at de to nydøde kroppe blev fundet i samme stilling som Jansson og sin kone: de var i færd med et samleje med kusinen øverst, da de blev stukket ihjel. Yikes – uhyggeligt!!!

15:00 Lige midt i mødet, ringer dyrlægens sygeplejerske til mig. Hun siger, at dyrlægen (Rebecca) har fortaget operationen og Minx er ved at vågne op. De vil have Lois og mig til at se Rebecca og hente Minx kl 17:10.

Gruppens medlemmer fortsætter med at skiftes at oplæse vores kriminovelle, en side ad gangen, og oversætte den til engelsk. Novellens første sexscene rykker nærmere og nærmere – yikes!

16:00 Uret slår 4, og vi har lige læst side 102. Per, den lokale landsbetjent, og Vivi, Pers kone, er stadig i gang med at spise aftensmad hos Rie, den lokale filmstjerne (som vi alle tror er gerningskvinden, selvom det er Grethe, Ries husassistent, der foretager drabene, mistænker vi !!!!).

Per og Vivis nat (og morgen) af hed sex er ikke begyndt endnu. Den kommende sexscene må blive en anden dag – vores næste møde er bestemt til den 14. december, så vi skal sørge for at holde lugesalten på nært hold, når det næste møde starter – ingen tvivl om det!!!!

Gruppens medlemmer skal af sted. Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te og et stykke kage.

17:00 Vi kører over til klinikken og afhenter Minx. Vi kommer hjem og giver Minx hendes første portion kattemad i næsten 22 timer – kylling med ris, nam nam! Du godeste, stakkels Minx!!!! Vi lægger et foto af Minx op på ”Insta”, så Alison, vores datter i København, kan se hende.

Minx må spise for første gang i 22 timer – stakkels Minx!!!!!

18:30 Lois og jeg spiser aftensmad. Vi er udmattede, som altid efter en ”dansk” dag, hvor vi i formiddags ryddede op i huset og i eftermiddags styrede vores danske gruppes møde. Men vi er endnu mere udmattet i dag på grund af Minx’ operation og alt det der. Du godeste – vi føler os gamle og slidte – yikes!!!!

Minx tilbage på Lois’ skød igen – stakkels Minx (igen)!!!!!

Der er et par interessante dokumentarfilm på tv i aften, men vi føler vi ikke kan hamle op med dem. Vi beslutter at optage dem på vores spritnye YouView-enhed – de må blive for en anden dag.

Nogle af de interessante programmer, som vi beslutter at overlade, indtil vi bliver friske og frejdige igen. For det første viser de den 2. del af en interessant serie, der handler om Trumps stigning til magten.

For det andet, viser de (samtidig) en dokumentarfilm, der handler om den romerske digter, Ovid, født i 43 f.Kr, som døde for næsten nøjagtig 2000 år siden, i 17/18 e kr.

Ovid ville have været glad for at finde ud af, at han i 1959 (dvs 1.942 år efter sin død) hjalp med at liberalisere Storbritanniens uandstændighedslove, i retsforfølgelsen af Penguin Books-forlaget for selskabets udgav af DH Lawrences ”Lady Chatterleys Elsker”.

Penguins forsvarer, Jeremy Hutchinson, læste latinsk på højskole. Da anklageren kritiserede bogen for at inkludere en beskrivelse af oralsex, og sagde, at verden hidtil godt har klaret sig uden at skulle læse om sådanne ting, indvendte Hutchinson, at han troede, han havde læst noget lignende i Ovids digte – forbløffelse hele vejen rundt!

Hutchinson døde desværre for et par dage siden og derfor i aften kan han ikke se dette dokumentarfilm om sin yndlingsdigter.

I 1959 lagde han en stor indsats i at pakke juryen med så mange kvinder som muligt, fordi han plejede at sige, at ”kvinder er mere fornuftige, når det kommer til at tale om sex”. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

Hutchinsons succes i retssagen liberalisede faktisk meget mere end vores pornografilover – den liberaliserede hele vores samfund, hvilket Philip Larkin senere fejrede i sit digt, ”Annus Mirabilis”, en titel, som Ovid selv tilfældigvis ville have forstået. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Ovid ville have forstået titlen, men ikke teksten.

Stakkels Ovid !!!!!

21:30 Vi går i seng, lidt tidligere, end normalt – zzzzzzz!!!!

English translation

Minx, our daughter Alison's cat, has a big day today. Alison left Minx with us when her family moved to Denmark in 2015.

The vet examined Minx's mouth a week ago and said that one tooth had been broken and another was cracked, and there was also inflammation on one side. She also examined Minx more generally and discovered that her heart was showing signs of disease, which could be diagnosed from the sounds her little heart was making. This would make the use of an anesthetic more problematic - with increased chances of heart attacks or strokes

Today, the vet is going to do blood tests to confirm it all, including a pre-anesthetic echocardiography if it is decided to proceed with the surgery on the teeth.

08:30 Minx is mad at us because we have not fed her since 8pm last night (following the vet's instructions), but we drive her over to the clinic located at the entrance to the local racecourse, and hand her to one of clinic's nurses.

09:00 We come home and get started clearing up in the house and vacuuming everywhere, because our U3A Danish group's next meeting will be taking place here at 2.30pm.

12:00 I hurry into the kitchen and make lunch. Afterwards I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 2pm and prepare for our Danish group's meeting.

14:30 Group members arrive. They start by taking the Danish vocabulary test I have devised, and then we read the next 10 pages of the Danish crime novella, Gittemie Eriksen's "Accursed", which is the group's current project.

All members now know (because I warned them) that we have a sex scene coming up (on pages 108-109 in the Kindle version). The sex scene takes place in the bed of the novella's hero, Per Jansson, a local constable in a normally quiet and peaceful Danish village where a crazy mass murderer is at large.

Early in the morning Constable Jansson is persuaded by his wife, Vivi, to stay a little longer in bed and give her "another go" (he had already "seen to her" a few hours earlier) - even though he has just received a phone call from his boss asking him to report for work and meet up, because another 2 dead bodies have been found, a man and his cousin.

Lois and I think there is a little too much information in this sex scene, including some physical signs of the couple's arousal which we would rather have done without - good grief, what madness!

We do not understand why the author went into such detail - is it important for the plot? It may be significant that the two "fresh" dead bodies were found in the same position as Jansson and his wife: the cousins were having intercourse with the woman on top when they were stabbed to death. Yikes - spooky !!!

15:00 Right in the middle of the meeting, the vet's nurse calls me. She says that the vet (Rebecca) has carried out the surgery and Minx is just waking up. They want Lois and me to see Rebecca and pick up Minx at 5.10pm.

The members of our group carry on taking turns to read out our crime novella, one page at a time, and translating it into English. The novella's first sex scene is moving closer and closer - yikes!

16:00 The clock strikes 4, and we have just read page 102. Constable Per and Vivi, Per's wife, are still eating dinner at the house of Rie, the local movie star (who we all think is the murderer, even though it's Grethe, Rie's maid, who actually carries out the killings, we suspect !!!!).

Per and Vivi's night (and morning) of hot sex has not begun yet. The upcoming sex scene will have to wait for another day - our next meeting is scheduled for December 14th, so we must make sure that the smelling salts are to hand when the next meeting starts - that's something we have no doubts about!

The group's members leave. Lois and I relax with a cup of tea and a piece of cake.

17:00 We drive over to the clinic and pick up Minx. We come home and give Minx her first serving of cat food in almost 22 hours - chicken with rice, yum yum! Good grief, poor Minx !!!! We put a picture of Minx up on "Insta", so Alison, our daughter in Copenhagen, can see her.

Minx is allowed to eat for the first time in 22 hours - poor Minx !!!!!

18:30 Lois and I have dinner. We are exhausted, as always after a "Danish" day, where we cleared up in the house in the morning and we led our Danish group's meeting in the afternoon. But we are even more exhausted today because of Minx's operation and all that. My god - we feel old and worn - yikes !!!!

Minx back on Lois' lap again - poor Minx (again) !!!!!

There are a couple of interesting documentary films on television this evening, but we feel we cannot cope with them. We decide to record them on our brand new YouView device - they will have to wait for another day.

Here are some of the interesting programs that we decide to leave until we are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again. Firstly, the 2nd part of an interesting series all about Trump's rise to power.

Secondly, (at the same time) a documentary all about the Roman poet Ovid, born in 43 BC, who died almost exactly 2000 years ago, in 17/18 AD.

Ovid would have been happy to be told that in 1959 (ie 1,942 years after his death) he helped liberalize Britain's obscenity laws, during the prosecution of the Penguin Books publishing company for the company publication of DH Lawrence's "Lady Chatterley's Lover".

Penguin's defence lawyer, Jeremy Hutchinson, studied Latin at high school. When the prosecutor criticized the book for including a description of oral sex and said that the world has so far managed without having to read about such things, Hutchinson objected that he thought he had read something similar in Ovid's poems - to general astonishment all round.

Hutchinson unfortunately died a couple of days ago and therefore cannot see this documentary tonight about his favorite poet.

In 1959 he made a great effort to pack the jury with as many women as possible, because he used to say that "women are more sensible when it comes to talking about sex ".

Hutchinson's success in the trial actually liberalized much more than our pornography laws - it liberalized the whole of our society, something Philip Larkin later celebrated in his poem, "Annus Mirabilis", a title that Ovid himself would coincidentally have understood. Good grief, what madness !!!!