Tirsdag den 14. november 2017

09:00 Lois og jeg går i bad og efter morgenmad giver Lois til at lave nogle krukker blommemarmelade. I mellemtiden går jeg ud i baghaven. Jeg fylder haveaffaldspanden med klippede grene og ukrudt, og jeg fyler affaldspanden med husligt affald og med uønsket ting, vi i årevis har opbevaret i garagen, som del af mit ”projekt downsize”. Jeg beslutter, at jeg vil sikre, at vores 2 affaldspande fremover vil være fyldte til bristepunktet hver anden ønsdag, vores nuværende indsamlingsdag. Hurra!

11:00 Jeg kommer tilbage ind i huset og lytter lidt til radio, et interessant program (seriens 3. og sidste del), der handler om selvtillid (eller mangel på den). Programmets vært er den charmerende introvert, Laura Barton.

Jeg kan godt lide Laura, fordi hun selv mangler selvtillid og er introvert, og hun taler åbent på vegne af verdens generte og introverte mennesker, dvs de, der ofte har alle de bedste og mest fornuftige idéer, men som ikke råber om dem, så har tendens til at blive ignoreret.

 Laura Barton

Det har været en meget interessant serie. I formiddag hører jeg noget godt råd fra Patsy Rodenburg af chef der står for stemmetræning på Guildhall School of Music and Drama. Hun siger at den sandelig selvsikre person har stilhed, autoritet og interesserer sig for andre.Ofte sker der, at den højrøstede person bare kompenserer for sin mangel på sand selvtillid, siger hun.

Den, der mangler selvtillid trækker sig lidt fra verden og holder næsten op med at ånde, siger hun. En mus, der ser en høg flyve over hovedet, holder op med at ånde, indtil høgen flyver væk.

Men man kan uddanne sig til at fortsætte med altid at ånde normalt. Patsy anbefaler, at når vi står overfor truende situationer eller intimiderende mennesker, skal vi koncentrere os om at ånde normalt ved samtidig med at trykke hænderne mod en eller anden flad overflade.

Patsy Rodenburg, der står for stemmetræning på

Guildhall School of Music and Drama

Laura Barton, programmets charmerende introverte vært, siger, at hun før i tiden også troede, at hvis hun blev selvsikker, ville dette udvande noget i hendes personlighed, der var fundamentalt ”hende”; med andre ord var mangel på selvtillid en del af hendes identitet. Og hun troede også, at hvis hun blev selvsikker, ville hun miste sine egenskaber af underfundighed, kreativitet, indbildningskraft, venlighed og godhed.

Men hun har nu skiftet meningen derom. Hun tror nu, at hendes mangel på selvtillid har frustreret hende og holdt hende tilbage hele livet.

Hun har haft nogle af sine største eventyr, og sluttet sine tætteste venskaber under de få øjeblikke, da hun følte og viste absolut selvtillid, fordi under de øjeblikke er hun en naturlig, spontan, åbenhjertig, generøs person at være sammen med: hun lad andre se sit inderlig lyst og sin kerne under de øjeblikke. Hun tror ikke, at noget dårligt er dukket frem i de selvsikre øjeblikke. På den anden side, er en masse dårlige ting, en masse begrænsende ting dukket frem i de øjeblikke, da hun følte sig usikker eller ængstelig.

Hvor inspirerende!

Tak, Laura - flot serie !!!

12:00 Lois er færdig med at lave blommemarmelade af vores hjemmedyrkede blommer: 9 1-pund krukker, selvom vi har lovet én krukke til vores nabo, Bob. Nam nam!!!!

Lois har lavet 9 1-pund krukker blommemarmelade – nam nam !

12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage mig en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15 og hopper op på min kondicykel. Jeg cykler 9 miles (15km).

16:00 Vi slapper af i sofaen med en kop te og et stykker brød  med Lois’ hjemmelavet blommemarmelade – nam nam !

17:00 Jeg går i gang med at læse endnu 5 sider af min danske roman, ”Klinkevals” af Jane Aamund. Romanens helt, Juliane, en 30-og-nogle enke og mor til to teenagere, har tilbragt en lidenskabelig aften i seng med Otto, en 21-årig mand hun lige har mødt. Kemi er så god mellem de to elskere, at Juliane glemmer helt om, at hun har 2 børn, der venter på hende derhjemme. Hun stikker af hjem kl 1 om natten – hun har lovet Otto, at de kan have sex igen den følgende aften.

Pelle Koppel som Otto, med Mette Lisby som Juliane, i den nylige film

Men i de næste 3 uger kan hun desværre ikke se Otto igen, fordi hendes søsters børn er blevet smittet af difteri, og hun skal hjælpe sin søster med at passe på dem. Stakkels Juliane! Og stakkels Otto!!!!

Stakkels Otto ved ikke, hvorfor Juliane ikke kommer at se ham. Efter en uge, smutter han ind i Julianes arbejdsplads, den lokale slagterforretning, og Julianes chef, Hansen, fortæller ham om difterien i hendes familie. Otto finder samtidig ud af, at Hansen håber selv også på, at han vil kunne få Juliane med i  sengen.

Den pragtfulde Mette Lisby, der spiller Juliane i filmen fra 1999.

Efter 3 uger er Julianes mareridt slut og hun går tilbage på arbejde. En af hendes søsters børn, den mindste, er desværre død af sygdommen, men de andre 6 er overlevet, gudskelov.

Juliane og Otto mødes igen. De skynder sig op  på Ottos lejlighed og hopper op i sengen, men desværre har Otto lidt af et rejsningsproblem af en eller anden grund. Problemet viser sig heldigvis at være midlertidigt, og de begynder snart at gå til den som kaniner igen. Ottos smalle fyrretræsseng går endelig i stykker og Otto må forstærke den med et par kraftige egetræsplanker – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Det hele ligner for øjeblikket en lille idyl, men jeg ser forskellige problemer forude:

(1)    Juliane er konservativ, mens Otto er socialist, og er bange for at svigte sine”rødder” i arbejdsklassen.

(2)    Otto er lidt irriteret over, at Juliane ikke har lyst til at præsentere ham for sin familie.

(3)    Juliane ønsker ikke at få flere børn, men deres såkaldte ”præventionsmetoder” er ikke 100% sikre, for at sige mildt. Hver ”omgang” involverer gentagne ”tilbagetrækninger”. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

17:30 Lois og jeg spiser aftensmad, lidt tidligere, end normalt, og bagefter skal vi af sted. Lois vil deltage i aften i en bibelseminar, der finder sted på biblioteket i Brockworth, en lille forstad til byen Gloucester. Hun vil hellere ikke køre selv bil på grund af rygsmerter – hun stod længe i køkkenet i morges, da hun lavede sine 9 1-pund krukker blommemarmelade. Jeg kører hende over til Mari-Ann og Alfs hus og sætter hende af. De vil køre hende over til Brockworth.

19:00 Jeg kører hjem. Jeg har lidt alenetid i aften, og jeg ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser den 2. afsnit af en speciel serie af ”Grand Designs”, der fokuserer på RIBAs (Royal Institute of British Architects) konkurrence for at finde ”årets hus”. Programmets vært er den charmerende Kevin McCloud.

I aften ser vi endnu 5 huse i konkurrencen. Det er interessant, at de fleste huse i denne konkurrence er ejet af de arkitekter, der oprindeligt fik dem bygget.

Egenskabet, der mest karakteriserer arkitekter, er efter min mening en egoisme og en foragt for andre mennesker, hvad enten, de er klienter eller naboer.

Det ser vi et godt eksempel på i aften. En arkitekt besluttede at få bygget et mærkeligt moderne hus, der overhovedet ikke passede ind med det fornemme nabolag – ingen overraskelse der. Parcellen var meget smal og lå mellem to andre huse, men arkitekten besluttede at få bygget sit hus, således at væggene grænsede helt op til ejendomslinjen, til sine naboers store ærgelse.

det nye hus passer ikke ind med dette fornemme nabolag,

og husets væggene grænser helt op til ejendomslinjen, til naboernes store ærgelse

- du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Naboerne indvendte naturligvis mod arkitektens planer, og det tog ham en helvedes tid (2 år) at få planlægningstilladelse. Og derefter tog selve bygningsprocessen endnu 10 år – det hele må have gjort naboernes liv til et levende helvede: det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om!

bygningsprocessen tog 10 år – hvilket gjorde

naboernes liv til et levende helvede

Også hjertet synker, når vi ser huset indefra. De obligatoriske store stuer med en masse spildt plads, sparsomme møbler her og der, herunder de obligatoriske hvide vægge og ukomfortable sofaer (for dybe og for lave).

masser af spildt plads, og de obligatoriske hvide vægge og ukomfortable sofaer

Som sædvanligt er der ingen gulvtæpper eller gardiner, så når folk taler, hører vi umiddelbart det der forfærdlige ekko, der skurrer så meget i ørerne.

Perfekt til forfærdelige middagsselskaber! Det giver mig mareridt, når jeg tænker på sådanne forfærdelige sociale sammenkomster i disse slags omgivelser, med deres obligatoriske kakofoni af ekkoer – yikes!!!!

dette hus er perfekt til forfærdelige middagsselskaber

Jeg kan bare høre i mit hoved den obligatoriske kakofoni af ekkoer – yikes!!!!!

21:30 Lois kommer hjem lige i midten af programmet og vi snakker lidt om rædslerne af moderne huse.

22:00 Jeg går i seng, men Lois bliver oppe lidt længere. Hun trænger til at slappe af og geare ned efter aftenens stimulerende bibelseminar. Stakkels Lois !!!!!

English translation

09:00 Lois and I go in the shower, and then after breakfast Lois makes some pots of plum jam. In the meantime I go out into the backyard. I fill the garden waste bin with clipped branches and weeds, and I fill the waste bin with household waste and with unwanted things we have been storing in the garage for years, as part of my "project downsize". I decide that I will ensure that our 2 waste bins in the future will be filled to bursting point every other Wednesday, our current waste collection day. Hooray!

11:00 I come back into the house and listen to the radio a bit, an interesting program (the third and last part of the series) all about self-esteem (or lack of it). The host of the program is the charming introvert, Laura Barton.

I like Laura because she lacks self-confidence herself and is introverted, and she speaks up for the world's shy and introverted people, that is, those who often have all the best and most reasonable ideas but who do not shout about them, so tend to get ignored.

Laura Barton

It has been a very interesting series. This morning, I hear some good advice from Patsy Rodenburg, director of voice training at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama. She says that the truly self-confident person has stillness, authority, and an interest in others. Often, the loud-mouthed person is just compensating for their lack of true self-confidence, she says.

Those who lack self-confidence withdraw a little from the world and almost stop breathing, she says. A mouse that sees a hawk overhead stops breathing until the hawk flies away.

But one can train oneself to carry on always breathing normally. Patsy recommends that when we face threatening situations or intimidating people, we should concentrate on breathing normally by simultaneously pressing our hands against some flat surface.

Patsy Rodenburg, head of voice training at

Guildhall School of Music and Drama

Laura Barton, the program's charming introverted host, says that in the past she believed also that if she ever became confident, this would dilute something in her personality that was fundamentally "her"; in other words, lack of self-confidence was a part of her identity. And she also used to think that if she became confident she would lose her qualities of subtlety, creativity, imagination, kindness and goodness.

But she has changed her mind. She now believes that her lack of self-confidence has in fact frustrated her and kept her back all her life.

She says she has had some of her greatest adventures and formed her closest friendships in those few moments when she felt, and showed, absolute self-confidence, because in those moments she is a natural, spontaneous, open-hearted, generous person to be with: she lets others see the inner light of her and the core of her during those moments. She does not think something bad has ever emerged in those self-confident moments. On the other hand, there are a lot of bad things, a lot of limiting things that have emerged in those moments when she felt insecure or anxious.

How inspiring!

Thanks, Laura - great series!

12:00 Lois has finished making plum jam from our home-grown plums: 9 one-pound jars, although we have promised one jar to our neighbor, Bob. Yum yum!!!!

Lois has made 9 one-pound jars of plum jam - yum yum!

12:30 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. I get up at 3pm and jump on my exercise bike. I ride 9 miles (15km).

16:00 We relax on the couch with a cup of tea and a piece of bread with Lois' homemade plum jam - yum yum!

17:00 I get started with reading another 5 pages of my Danish novel, "Klinkevals" by Jane Aamund. The novel's hero Juliane, a 30-something widow and mother to two teenagers, has spent a passionate evening in bed with Otto, a 21-year-old man she has just met. The chemistry is so good between the two lovers that Juliane completely forgets that she has 2 children waiting for her at home. She rushes off home at 1 a.m. - but she promises Otto that they can have sex again the following evening.

Pelle Koppel as Otto, with Mette Lisby as Juliane, in the recent movie

But for the next 3 weeks, she in fact is not able to see Otto again because her sister's children have become infected with diphtheria, and she has to help her sister take care of them. Poor Juliane! And poor Otto !!!!

Poor Otto does not know why Juliane does not come to see him. After a week, he swings by Juliane's workplace, the local butcher's shop, and Juliane's boss, Hansen, tells him about the diphtheria in her family. Otto also finds out that Hansen himself is also hoping to get Juliane into bed.

The gorgeous Mette Lisby, who plays Juliane in the movie from 1999.

After 3 weeks, Juliane's nightmare ends and she returns to work. One of her sister's children, the smallest, sadly dies of the disease, but the other 6 have survived, thank goodness.

Juliane and Otto meet up again. They hurry along up to Otto's apartment and jump into bed, but unfortunately Otto has a bit of an erection problem for some reason. The problem turns out to be temporary, and they soon start going at it like rabbits again. In the end Otto's narrow little pine bed breaks and Otto has to reinforce it with a couple of strong oak planks - good grief, what madness!

It all looks like a little idyll at the moment, but I see various problems ahead:

(1) Juliane is a conservative, while Otto is a socialist and afraid of betraying his working class "roots".

(2) Otto is a little annoyed that Juliane does not want to introduce him to her family.

(3) Juliane does not want to have any more children, but their so-called "contraception methods" are not 100% safe, to put it mildly. Each "bout" involves repeated "withdrawals". My god, what madness !!!!

17:30 Lois and I have dinner, a bit earlier than usual, and afterwards we have to go out. Lois wants to attend a Bible seminar tonight taking place in the library at Brockworth, a small suburb of Gloucester. She would rather not drive herself because of back pain - she was standing in the kitchen for a long time this morning when she was making her 9 one-pound jars of plum jam. I drive her over to Mari-Ann and Alf's house and drop her off. They will drive her over to Brockworth.

19:00 I come home. I have a little alone time tonight and I watch a bit of television. The 2nd episode of a special series of "Grand Designs" is on, focussing on the RIBA's (Royal Institute of British Architects) competition to find "the house of the year". The host of the program is the charming Kevin McCloud.

Tonight we see another 5 houses in the competition. It's an interesting fact that most of the houses in this competition are owned by the architects who initially got them built.

The personality trait that most characterizes architects is, in my opinion, egoism and contempt for other people, whether they be clients or neighbors.

There is a good example of this tonight. An architect decided to build a peculiar modern house that did not fit in with the upmarket neighborhood - no surprise there. The plot of land was very narrow and lay between two other houses, but the architect decided to build his house so that the walls went right up to the property line, to the neighbors' great annoyance.

The new house does not fit in with this upmarket neighborhood,

and the walls of the house go right up to the property line, 

to the neighbors' great annoyance - my god, what madness !!!!

The neighbors naturally objected to the architect's plans, and it took him a hell of time (2 years) to get a planning permit. And then the building process itself took another 10 years - it must have turned the neighbours' lives into a living hell: that's something I have no doubts about!

The building process took 10 years - and turned

the neighbors' lives into a living hell

Also, my heart sinks when we see the house from inside. The obligatory large living rooms with a lot of wasted space, sparse furniture here and there, including the obligatory white walls and uncomfortable sofas (too deep and too low).

lots of wasted space, and the obligatory white walls and uncomfortable sofas

As usual, there are no carpets or curtains, so when people speak, we immediately hear that horrible echo that grates so much on the ears.

Perfect for horrible dinner parties! It gives me nightmares when I think of such horrible social gatherings in these kinds of surroundings, with their obligatory cacophony of echoes - yikes !!!!

This house is perfect for horrible dinner parties

I can just hear in my head the obligatory cacophony of echoes - yikes !!!!!

21:30 Lois comes home in the middle of the program and we talk a little about the horrors of modern houses.

22:00 I go to bed, but Lois stays up a little longer. She needs to relax and chill out after tonight's stimulating Bible seminar. Poor Lois !!!!!