Danskcolin: Sunday, December 30 2018

10:00 Sarah, our daughter in Perth, Australia, does not call us this morning on whatsapp - 10 am is her usual time. We must not forget that right now it’s summer over there and the weather is pretty nice there, and they have probably gone on an excursion somewhere. And it's also true that we talked on Skype with her, Francis and their 5-year-old twins only 5 days ago, on Christmas Day.

I jump up on my exercise bike and cycle my usual 6 miles. I invest more energy in it than usual because of an article I read yesterday in the Danish media, where it was said that exercise is the best way to reduce stomach fat: good grief, what madness!

11:00 I sit down with the computer and look at the Danish media, and I get a bit of a shock when I see Morten Ingemann's latest cartoon.

The Dane, Morten Ingemann, my favourite cartoonist

Ingemann is my favourite cartoonist - no doubt about that. He is particularly interested in ugly, overweight, middle-aged or elderly people, the kind of people most cartoonists rarely pay attention to.

Today we see old Queen Margrethe, sitting in her palace at a table-for-one with a glass of red wine in her hand - it's New Year's Eve. Denmark's Prime Minister, Lars Løkke Rasmussen, is standing by the dining table and asking the queen (in English), "Same procedure as every year, Miss Daisy?".

The implied reference here is actually to a British comedy sketch that has never been seen in the UK but is apparently famous throughout Northern Europe. So famous that Ingemann doesn't have to explain the background to Løkke's question to the Queen.

The above from www.the.guardian.com

It's the most repeated, and possibly the most beloved, British comedy sketch in history, but most Brits have never heard of it.

“Dinner for One”, a 15-minute sketch recorded in 1963 by Grimsby comedian Freddie Frinton, is a national institution in Germany, where it is screened every New Year's Eve and is also popular in Scandinavia and the Baltics. It holds the Guinness world record as the most repeated television show in history, but perhaps the most remarkable thing about it is that it has never been broadcast on British television.

Until now, that is. Forty-five years after Frinton recorded his sketch for the German television company NDR, British television viewers will see it for the first time when Sky Arts airs it on New Year's Eve.

Freddie Frinton was a Grimsby fish-filletter turned vaudeville entertainer, who first included the sketch - originally written by playwright Lauri Wylie - in his stage act in the 1940s. He was performing it on stage in Blackpool, when it was seen by German entertainer Peter Frankenfeld, who persuaded Frinton to record it for television in front of a live audience in Hamburg in 1963.

The sketch was an instant hit with the German audience, and television stations began using the recording along with a brief introduction in German as a filler between programmes. It was in 1972 that it was shown in full for the first time at 7.40 pm to fill a gap in Germany’s New Year's Eve schedules and a tradition was born.

"Dinner for one" is all about the 90th birthday of an elderly English lady, Miss Sophie, played by May Warden, and about the dinner party to which she had invited four guests, with the support of her butler, “James”. Unfortunately, all her 4 friends - Sir Toby, Admiral von Schneider, Pomeroy and Winterbottom – are dead, which led Freddie Frinton’s “James” to impersonate them all, one after another.

As he downs each of the absentees’ drinks over four courses, James becomes more and more intoxicated, stumbles upon a stuffed tiger rug, spills drinks, and almost upends Miss Sophie in her chair. It all finishes with him taking his employer up the stairs to bed with a saucy wink and the catchphrase "Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?". And "Same procedure as every year, James," replies Miss Sophie.

The sketch has achieved a cult status throughout Northern Europe. It has spawned events, themed restaurants and several parodies, while its catchphrase has become part of the everyday German language.

Perhaps most popular in Germany is the ritual of using the sketch as the basis for a mass drinking game. Viewers try to keep up with the butler's drinking by gulping down either four shots or all the sherry, port, champagne and wine served at Miss Sophie's dinner party.

In Germany, some believe that Dinner for One's popularity lies in its breaking of taboos – by linking heavy drinking, old age and sex. Others believe that it plays to German ideas about the British upper class as a bunch of boozy eccentrics who are stubbornly wedded to tradition. Still others see it in the simple slapstick humour of a drunken butler who stumbles over a rug, or the humour from the repetitive nature of the script. So the jury is still out on that one.

But my god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

At the end of the evening, butler James takes

Miss Sophie up the stairs to the bedroom – my god, what madness !!!

11:45 Lois and I have lunch a little earlier than usual, because afterwards we have to go out. Lois wants to participate in her sect’s second worship service, which starts at 1:30 pm in Tewkesbury Library in the middle of the town. She has back pain at the moment and she has asked me to drive her over there.

The above has now become a bit of a fairly common activity pattern on Sundays, especially recently, due to Lois' back problems. It is a bit of a shame because I used to have 6 hours of alone-time on Sundays because she used to attend both of her sect's services: she used to leave the house at 10:45 am and not come home till 4 pm, which meant I had 5 hours of alone time to cross tasks off on my to-do list.

That doesn't mean of course that I'm not happy to help her, but the inevitable result is that my to-do list is getting longer and longer - yikes!

12:45 We drive over to Tewkesbury and I drop her off in front of the town library. Afterwards I drive on to the local Morrison’s supermarket to buy some things: noodles, 4 chicken breasts, laundry pods, strong bleach, 4 tins of tuna, dried figs, bread, and two bottles of squash: a bit of a mixed bag, to put it mildly.

I come out of the supermarket and take a short afternoon nap in the car on the supermarket parking lot - there is no parking fee here, as long as you're a customer, which is lucky.

I wake up from my nap. I stay in the car and browse through Lois's "The Week" magazine and I get a bit of a shock to put it mildly. This week's edition gives an overview of researchers' claims in 2018 about which foods and activities are good for us, and which are bad.

I see that oranges protect against blindness, which I have not read before, for some reason. Researchers found that only oranges make a difference in reducing the odds of developing macular degeneration, which is the most common form of blindness in older people. Subjects who ate an orange a day had approx. 60% less tendency to develop it, it seems.

My god, what madness! But I take it all seriously. I decide to eat an orange as my default fruit every morning when I take my vitamin-D and selenium pills, instead of eating a banana.

"Oranges protect against blindness, according to the" The Week "magazine -

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

15:00 I drive back to the town centre and park the car in the closest parking lot to the library. I keep my eyes peeled, in case the town’s female parking warden sees me, but everything is quiet and peaceful, thank goodness. I do not want to pay the parking fee for only 5 minutes’ parking, that’s for sure. Lois shows up and I pick her up and we drive home. We relax with a cup of tea on the couch.

It is nevertheless true that parking wardens, and car park kiosk-attendants, etc. can sometimes be sympathetic guys. A local parking attendant, Brian Haemker, who works at the much-loved Water Street car park garage hit the headlines recently when he gave Onion News readers some insights into the secrets behind his daily duties.

The average customer at the Water Street parking garage probably hasn't even noticed Brian Haemker. They drive past him, day in and day out, and probably assume he's just another parking attendant. But in reality he is so much more.

Haemker has spent the last six years uncovering the secrets of every nook and cranny of the Water Street car park, and amassing a treasure chest of privileged information.

"There is a whole row of level 4 that is almost untouched," Haemker said from his tiny booth. "That's because it's at the opposite end from the elevator. But there's a pedestrian bridge just a few steps ahead of here that gets you there pretty conveniently. In addition, there's a Coke machine right there."

"Many people don't think about that," Haemker added.

Haemker said drivers also often overlook the parking garage's basement level.

"I see it every day: people just start up the ramp without thinking," Haemker said. "Meanwhile, one third of the basement is sitting there open and it's the warmest spot too, in winter."

Haemker said level 6 has some "amazing" parking spaces and explains that "the extra effort to get there is well worth it."

"Level 6 is often seen by drivers as a last resort," Haemker said. "That’s more than a little ironic, because this is where the best three spots in the whole garage are."

When journalists asked him about the worst parking places in the car park, Haemker designated the ones on the first floor, closest to the ticket booths, and a level 5 spot sitting on the end next to the railway.

"Your bumper is basically guaranteed to get dented there," he said.

Haemker says that the most annoying drivers are those who park in the garage throughout the working day, but do not take advantage of the lower prices for customers arriving before 8 am.

"Man, if only I had the extra four dollars a day to park whenever I felt like it!", Haemker said. "Of course, these guys are likely to be getting refunded by their workplace, which must be nice."

Haemker said he is always happy to show drivers the way to good spots, but no one ever asks.

"People just park anywhere they can find a spot, which I think is just crazy," Haemker said.

What an interesting, and useful article – thanks Onion News!

Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!! But I learned a lot of useful tips from the article, and I have to try to remember them, the next time I park in Haemker's parking garage - I have no doubts on that score! I'm a bit of an old crow, and I sometimes find it hard to navigate in dark parking garages and sometimes I get completely lost to put it mildly, and can't find the exit. Good grief, I'm getting old, no doubt about that !!!!!

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching a bit of television. An interesting documentary is on, all about the famous British actress, Judy Dench, and her love of trees. She actually lives in the county of Surrey, not far from the house where our eldest daughter Alison lives with her family. Surrey is the most wooded county in England.

We discover a lot of interesting facts about trees during the programme. They are not as defenceless as we have the tendency to believe, for example. If deer start eating their leaves, the trees immediately generate a bunch of tannin that makes the leaves taste bad: the result is that the deer bugger off to look for another tree somewhere else.

Some tree species generate clouds of perfume when aphids attack them. The perfume attracts ladybugs, which then consume all the aphids.

And trees can send messages to other trees using long fungi that take the form of thin threads running from tree to tree underground.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

21:00 We continue to watch a bit of television, an interesting documentary about ITV's London TV studies that have just closed. New studios have been built elsewhere in the city, it seems. The host of the program is the charming Dermot O'Leary.

And it's very nice for Lois and me to see again some of our favourite sketches from the comedy duo Hale and Pace.

Happy days !!!!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

10:00 Sarah, vores datter I Perth, Australien, ringer ikke til os i formiddag på whatsapp – kl 10 er hendes sædvanlige tid. Vi må ike glemme, at det lige nu er sommer derovre og vejret er for det meste smukt, og de har sikkert taget på udflugt et eller andet sted. Og det er sandt at vi talte på Skype med hende, Francis og deres 5-årige tvillinger for kun 5 dage siden, på juledag.

Jeg hopper op på min kondicykel og cykler mine sædvanlige 6 miles. Jeg investerer mere energi i det, end normalt på grund af en artikel jeg i går læste i de danske medier, hvor det stod, at motion er den bedste måde at reducere mavefedt: du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

11:00 Jeg sætter mig med computeren og kigger lidt på de danske medier og jeg får lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt, da jeg ser Morten Ingemanns seneste tegnestribe.

Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner

Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

Vi ser dronning Margrethe, der sidder ved et spisebord-til-én med et glas rødvin i hånden – det er nytårsaften. Danmarks statsminister, Lars Løkke Rasmussen, står ved spisebordet og spørger dronningen på engelsk, ”Same procedure as every year, Miss Daisy?”.

Referencen er faktisk til en britisk komedie-sketch, der aldrig er blevet set i Storbritannien, men er tilsydeladende berømt hele Nord-Europa over. Så berømt, at Ingemann ikke har brug for at forklare Løkkes spørgsmål.

det overstående er ifølge www.the.guardian.com

Det er den mest gentagne, og muligvis den mest elskede, britiske komedieskitse i historien, og alligevel har de fleste briter aldrig hørt om det.

Dinner for One, en 15-minutters sketch indspillet i 1963 af Grimsby komiker Freddie Frinton, er en national institution i Tyskland, hvor den screenes hvert nytårsaften og er også vildt populær i Skandinavien og Baltikum. Men mens det holder Guinness verdensrekord som det mest gentagne tv-program i historien, er måske det mest bemærkelsesværdigt, at det aldrig blevet udsendt på britisk tv.

Indtil nu. Femogfyrre år efter, at Frinton registrerede sin sketch for det tyske tv-selskab NDR, vil britiske tv-seere have mulighed for at se det for første gang, når Sky Arts sender det på nytårsaften.

Frinton var en Grimsby fiskfileterer, der blev en vaudeville- entertainer, som først inkluderede sketchen - oprindeligt skrevet af dramatiker Lauri Wylie - i sit shownummer i 1940'erne. Han udførte det på scenen i Blackpool, da det blev set af den tyske entertainer Peter Frankenfeld, som overtalte Frinton til at optage det til tv foran et live publikum i Hamburg i 1963.

Sketchen var et øjeblikkeligt hit med det tyske publikum, og tv-stationerne tog til at bruge optagelsen sammen med en kort introduktion på tysk som fyldstof mellem programmer. I 1972 blev det først vist kl. 19.40 for at fylde et hul i planlægningen på nytårsaften, og en tradition blev født.

”Dinner for one” kredser om den 90. fødselsdag af en ældre engelsk kvinde, Miss Sophie, spillet af May Warden, og om den aftensfest hun har inviteret fire gæster til, med støtten af sin butler James. Desværre er alle sine venner - Sir Toby, Admiral von Schneider, Pomeroy og Winterbottom - døde, hvilket efterlader Frinton's James til at ”spille” dem alle, den ene efter den anden.

Da han nedsvælger hver af de fraværende gæsters drikkevarer i løbet af fire retter, bliver James mere og mere beruset, snubler over et tigerhovedtæppe, spildt drikkevarer og næsten endevender Miss Sophie i hendes stol. Det hele slutter med, at han bærer sin arbejdsgiver op ad trappen til sengs med et frækt blink og slagordet "Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?" "Same procedure as every year, James", svarer Miss Sophie.

Sketchen har opnået en kultstatus i hele Nordeuropa. Det har ført til events, temaerede restauranter og flere parodier, mens dens slagord er blevet en del af det daglige tyske sprog.

Måske mest populært i Tyskland er ritualet om at bruge sketchen som grundlag for et massedryksspil. Seere forsøger at holde trit med butlerens drikkeri, ved at nedsvælge enten fire shots eller alle de sherry, port, champagne og vin, der blev serveret på Miss Sophies aftensfest.

I Tyskland tror nogle, at Dinner for One's popularitet ligger i brydelsen af tabuer - stordrikkeri, alderdom, sex og død. Andre mener, at det forstærker tyske ideer om de britiske overklasse som en flok af berusede ekscentrikere, der er stædigt opslugt af tradition. Endnu andre ser det i den enkle slapstick humor af en beruset butler, der snubler over et tæppe, eller den gentagne karakter af scriptet. Så er juryen stadig ude om det.

Men du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

I slutningen af aftensfesten tager butleren James

Miss Sophie op ad trappen til soveværelset – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

11:45 Lois og jeg spiser frokost lidt tidligere, end normalt, fordi vi bagefter skal ud. Lois ønsker at deltage i sin sekts 2. gudstjeneste, der starter kl 13:30 på byen Tewkesburys bibliotek midt i byen. Hun har ondt i ryggen for tiden og hun har bedt mig om at køre hende derover.

Det overstående er nu blevet til lidt af et ganske almindeligt aktivitetsmønster om søndagen, især for nylig, på grund af Lois’ rygproblemer. Det er lidt af en skam, fordi jeg før i tiden havde 6 timers alenetid om søndagen, fordi hun plejede at deltage i begge sin sekts gudstjenester: hun forlod huset kl 10:45 og kom først hjem kl 16, hvilket betød, at jeg havde 5 timers alenetid for at strege opgaver af på min gøremålsliste.

Det betyder ikke selvfølgelig at jeg ikke er glad for at kunne hjælpe hende, men det uundgåelige resultat er, at min gøremålsliste bliver hele tiden længere og længere – yikes!

12:45 Vi kører over til Tewkesbury og jeg sætter hende af foran byens bibliotek. Bagefter kører jeg videre til det lokale Morrisons-supermarked for at købe nogle ting: nudler, 4 kyllingebryst, vaskepiller, stærk blegemiddel, 4 dåser tun, tørrede figner, brød, to flasker squash: lidt af en blandet landhandel, for at sige mildt.

Jeg kommer ud af supermarkedet og tager en kort eftermiddagslur i bilen på supermarkedets parkeringsplads – der er ikke nogen parkeringsgebyr her, hvilket er heldigt.

Jeg vågner fra min lur. Jeg bliver siddende i bilen og blader igennem Lois’ ”The Week”-tidsskrift og jeg får lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt. Denne uges udgave giver en oversigt af forskeres påstande i 2018 om, hvilke fodevarer og aktiviteter er gode for os, og hvilke er dårlige.

Jeg ser, at appelsiner beskytter mod blindhed, hvilket jeg ikke har læst før, af en eller anden grund. Forskere fandt ud af, at kun appelsiner gør en forskel på chancerne for at udvikle makuladegeneration, som er den hyppigste form for blindhed i ældre mennesker. Forsøgspersoner, der spiste en appelsin om dagen, havde ca. 60% mindre tendens til at udvikle den, lader det til.

Du godeste, sikke et vanvid! Men jeg tager det hele alvorligt. Jeg beslutter at spise en appelsin som min default-frugt hver morgen, når jeg tager mine vitamin-D og selenium piller, i stedet for at spise en banan.

”Appelsiner beskytter mod blindhed, ifølge ’The Week’-tidsskriftet –

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

15:00 Jeg kører tilbage til bymidten og parkerer bilen i den tætteste parkeringsplads på biblioteket. Jeg har øjnene med mig, for det tilfælde af, at byens kvindelige parkeringskontrollør får øje på mig, men alt er stille og roligt, gudskelov. Jeg har ikke lyst til at betale parkeringsafgiften for kun 5 minutters parkering. Lois dukker op og jeg henter hende, og vi kører hjem. Vi slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

Det er imidlertid sandt, at parkeringskontrollører, billetsælgere, kioskmænd osv kan nogle gange være sympatiske. En lokal billetsælger, Brian Haemker, der arbejder på det elskede Water Street-parkeringshus ramte overskrifterne for nylig, da han gav Onion News-læsere nogle indsigter i hemmelighederne af sine daglige opgaver.

Den gennemsnitlige kunde på Water Street-parkeringshuset har sandsynligvis ikke lagt mærke til Brian Haemker. De har kørt forbi ham dag ind og dag ud, og antager sandsynligvis, at han bare er endnu en billetsælger. Men i virkeligheden er han meget mere.

Haemker har brugt de sidste seks år på at samle hemmelighederne om hver en afkrog af Water Street-parkeringshuset, og at hente en skattekiste af privilegerede oplysninger.

"Der er en hel række på niveau 4, der er næsten ubrugt," sagde Haemker fra sin lille kiosk. "Det er fordi det er i den modsatte ende fra elevatoren. Men der er en fodgængerbro kun et par skridt fremad, der får dig derover ganske bekvemt. Derudover er der en Coke-maskine lige der."

"Det tænker mange mennesker ikke på," tilføjede Haemker.

Haemker sagde, at bilisterne ofte overser parkeringshusets kælderniveau.

"Jeg ser det hver dag: folk starter bare op ad rampen uden at tænke," sagde Haemker. "I mellemtiden er en tredjedel af kælderen, der sidder der åbent, og det er det varmeste sted om vinteren."

Haemker sagde niveau 6 har nogle "fantastiske" parkeringspladser, og forklarer at "den ekstra indsats for at komme derhen er vel det værd."

"Niveau 6 kan ses af bilister som en sidste udvej," sagde Haemker. "Det der er lidt ironisk, for det er her, hvor de bedste tre pladser i hele garagen er."

Da journalister spurgte ham om parkeringshusets værste pladser, udpegede Haemker dem, der ligger på første sal, tætteste på billetkioskerne, og en plads på niveau 5, der sidder på enden ved siden af trafikbanen.

"Din kofanger er dybest set garanteret for at blive bulet der," sagde han.

Haemker siger, at de mest irriterende chauffører er dem, der parkerer i parkeringshuset i hele arbejdsdagen, men benytter sig ikke af de lavere priser for kunder, der ankommer før kl. 8.00.

"Mand, hvis bare jeg havde de ekstra fire dollars om dagen til at parkere, når jeg har lyst til det," sagde Haemker. "Selvfølgelig bliver disse fyre sandsynligvis refunderet af deres arbejdsplads, hvilket må være rart."

Haemker sagde, at han er glad for at vise chaufførerne vej mod gode pladser, men ingen beder nogensinde.

"Folk parkerer bare hvor som helst de kan finde en plads, hvilket jeg synes er bare helt vanvittigt," sagde Haemker.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!! Men jeg lærte en masse nyttige tips fra artiklen, og jeg må prøve at huske dem, næsste gang jeg parkerer i Haemkers parkeringshus – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om ! Jeg er lidt af en gammel krage, og jeg har nogle gange svært ved at navigere i mørke parkeringshuse og nogle gange farer jeg helt vild for at sige mildt, og kan ikke finde udgangen. Du godeste, jeg bliver gammel, ingen tvivl om det!!!!!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om den berømte britiske skuespillerinde, Judy Dench, og hendes kærlighed til træer. Hun faktisk bor i grevskabet Surrey, ikke ret langt fra huset, hvor vores ældste datter Alison bor sammen med sin familie. Surrey er det mest skovrige grevskab i England.

Vi opdager i løbet af programmet en masse af interessante kendsgerninger om træer. De er ikke så forsvarsløse, som vi har tendenst til at tro, for eksempel. Hvis rådyr begynder at spise deres blade, genererer træerne med det samme en masse tannin, der gør bladene til at smage dårligt: resultatet er, at rådyrene stikker af for at finde et andet træ

Nogle træarter genererer skyer af parfume, når bladlus angriber dem. Parfumen tiltrækker mariehøner, der så fortærer alle de bladlusene.

Og træer kan føre beskeder til andre træer ved hjælp af lange svampe, der tager formen af tynde tråde, der løber fra træ til træ under jorden.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

21:00 Vi fortsætter med at se lidt fjernsyn, en interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om ITVs London-tvstudier, der lige er lukket. Nye studier er blevet bygget andetsteds i byen, lader det til. Programmets vært er den charmerende Dermot O’Leary.