Friday, December 7 2018

08:30 Lois and I get up, and after breakfast, I once again browse through  lines 157-352 of "Brus", the poem written in approx. the year 1375 by poet John Barbour in Scots-English, all about the famous Scottish hero, "Robert the Bruce", ie King Robert I of Scotland, and about the role he played in the Scottish war of independence.

Lynda's U3A Middle English group is holding its regular monthly meeting this afternoon at 2:30 pm in  the bar of the town’s Everyman Theatre, and the “Brus” poem is the group's current project.

We read in these lines about  the English king Edward's reign of terror in Scotland, a policy that made Edward very unpopular in the country to put it mildly. The English sheriffs imprisoned a Scottish noble, Sir William Douglas, for example, and gave away all his lands to an English noble called Clifford.

Goodness me, how childish!

William Douglas's son, James, was in Paris at the time and living it up. It is interesting that the British custom of travelling to Paris or staying in Paris for a couple of years to have a naughty time, and avoid the restrictions and constraints of British morality, seems to have been quite an ancient tradition, which was already alive and well as long ago as the 14th century. My god, what madness !!!!

Sir James Douglas - went to Paris to have a naughty time!

Later on in our history, in the 19th century, these saucy refugees from British morality indulged in various Parisian pleasures, such as: buying naughty postcards with nude or nearly nude women on them;  using the new-fangled "What the butler saw" machines with their primitive moving images of women taking their clothes off; visiting  nightclubs and striptease bars etc, not to mention all the brothels and the like.

We do not know exactly what the young James of Douglas did in Paris. Fortunately, many of the above-mentioned pleasures were not available at the time. Barbour in his poem sums up James' life in Paris with the two words, "thowlesnes" (immorality), and (sometimes) even descending to a bit of "rybbaldaill" (ribaldry or saucy behaviour).

Anyway James was certainly enjoying himself  in Paris, we can be sure of that. And he must have been quite disappointed when he heard that his father had been beheaded by Edward and that he now had to travel back to Scotland to avenge his father's death.

What a nuisance  - poor James !!!!!

12:00 Lois us I have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. I get up at 1:30 pm and take the bus into town. I get off in front of the M & S department store and walk on to the Everyman Theatre. I swing by the theatre's cafe. I have a cup of coffee and a piece of fruit cake - yum yum - and chat a little with Joe and Margaret, 2 other members of Lynda's U3A Middle English group.

14:30 All three of us walk up the stairs to the theatre bar and meet up with Lynda, Anthony and Barbara and start our group meeting. We read the 200 lines of the Scottish-English poem "Brus" and translate them into modern English - and there is a lot of loud laughter, to put it mildly. I don’t know what the bar’s other customers think of us.

16:00 The meeting ends. Lynda is not entirely sure which poem or work we should read next, so I suggest that we all email Lynda with our ideas.

I take the bus home, and Lois and I relax with a cup of tea on the couch.

Lois congratulates me on the fact that I now regularly ride the bus (it's free for retirees, so the price is right ha ha). She says it's the only time I mix with ordinary people, and she is right on that point.

I'm a member of Mensa, and all my friends and acquaintances are intelligent and middle class - Lois says I do not know anything about "real life" - correct again, Lois!

Yes - on the bus I rub shoulders with ordinary, not particularly intelligent people, especially on this particular bus route into town that winds its way through the county's largest subsidised housing estate. But to my surprise, I've discovered that "ordinary people" are actually just as polite as me, and much friendlier.

And what’s more, everybody thanks the bus driver when they get off: this is a relatively new habit maybe. We never did it when I used to take the bus to school several centuries ago - yikes!

18:00 Lois and I have dinner and spend the rest of the evening listening to the radio - the 3rd episode of the 4th season of a fun radio series, "The cold Swedish winter".

"The cold Swedish winter": the main characters in the series

The series is about an English stand-up comedian, Geoff, who is partners with a lovely Swedish woman, Linda (Andersson). The couple move to northern Sweden and buy a house in the countryside, close to Linda's scary parents, her negative father, Sten, and her horny mother, Gunilla. And Geoff has had a lot of trouble getting used to Swedish "social-democratic" society.

Linda and Geoff

Gunilla, Linda's horny mother

The script is surprisingly amusing, not "lol" but in a nice, gentle way, and we learn a lot about Swedish society. I'm inclined to think that the programme does reflect a little bit of the reality of the Swedish experience, because the series’ English author, Danny Robins, is basically writing about his own life – his own partner is a Swedish woman and he lives over there.

The Swedish characters in the series seem quite scary, and they speak a little the way I would imagine big grey bears would speak, if nature had given them human voices.

In this second season, Geoff has finished his role as a "Papa Latte" (“stay-at-home dad”) because Linda's and his little son, John, is now old enough to go to kindergarten.

The winter is finally over, and today Geoff gets involved in Sweden's weird Easter customs. On the Thursday before Easter, Swedish children apparently all dress up as witches  - and they call at doors in the neighbourhood asking for candy just like Halloween. The children put on head scarves, paint freckles on their faces and drag around big broomsticks.

The festival apparently celebrates an ancient Swedish folk tradition, according to which at Easter time all Swedish witches used to fly to a magic island to have intercourse with the devil. Isn't that a little crazy????

Geoff also gets involved in the Swedish campaign to remove all traces of "sexism" from Swedish society. He protests when Linda gets their little son John to dress up as a witch - in Sweden it's ok for boys as well as girls to dress up as witches, also fairies and princesses.

Geoff is criticised by John's kindergarten teacher for describing John as "han" (“he”) , instead of using the new asexual pronoun "hen" and for using the word "son", which is too gender-specific. He is accused of being an awful example of toxic British masculinity. On his way home from the kindergarten, he swings by the local supermarket at the same time as a woman – and as an English gentleman, he lets the woman go in first: he opens the door for her, but she gets angry - "Typical Englishman!"

Sten and Gunilla, Geoff's scary parents-in-law, drive home the message: Sten says that when he looks at Gunilla, he doesn’t see a woman - he sees a person, "a person who of course I like to be intimate with as often as possible, sometimes twice a day, or 3 times at the weekend ". Too much information, Sten !!!!

Sten and Gunilla advise Geoff to "find his inner witch".

Linda's brother Anders is in love with a woman, a work colleague, but he feels he cannot invite her out on a date - an appointment to go on a date has to be a mutual decision.

Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

It's a bit surprising, but the craze for a gender-neutral life is beginning to spread even into the English-speaking world. I read the other day (Source: Onion News) that a New York-based underwear company has released what it describes as the first gender-neutral boxer briefs and trunks and says it's decided to "take what's good about what is traditionally men's underwear and make it so that female-bodied people can wear it comfortably." 

Laura Miller, a tele-evangelist and one of the news-site’s most experienced commentators, confessed that she was very happy about the new-fangled briefs, because she could buy them for any name on her Christmas list without having to know what their gender was - in short , a very useful idea, now that Christmas is getting closer and closer each day, no doubt about that!

22:00 We go to bed - I read approx. 10 pages of my bedside book before I drift off to sleep - zzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

08:30 Lois og jeg står op og efter morgenmad giver jeg mig endnu en gang til at blade igennem linjer 157-352 af ”Brus”, det digt, som blev skrevet i ca. 1375 af digteren John Barbour på skotsk-engelsk, og handler om den kendte skotske held, ”Robert the Bruce”, dvs Robert 1. af Skotland, og om rollen han spillede i den skotske uafhængighedskrig. 

Lyndas U3A middelengelske gruppe holder sit regelmæssige månedlige møde i eftermiddag kl 14:30 på baren af byens Everyman-teater, og Brus-digtet er gruppens nuværende projekt.

Vi læser i digtet af Edward I., den engelske konges rædselsregimente i Skotland, hvilket gjorde Edward meget upopulær i landet for at sige mildt. De engelske sheriffs fængslede en skotsk adel, Sir William Douglas, for eksempel, og gav hans domæne til en engelsk adel, ved navn Clifford.

Hvor barnagtigt!

Douglas’ søn, James, var dengang i Paris, og levede flot. Det er interessant, at englænders vane af at rejse til Paris eller opholde sig i Paris i et par år for at lave en fræk tid, og slippe for begrænsninger af britiske moral, er en gammel tradition, og var levende og godt så længe tilbage som det 14. århundrede. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

James Douglas

Lidt senere, i det 19. århundrede indeholdt disse frække udflygter en masse andre glæder, såsom det, at købe frække postkort med nøgne eller letpåklædte kvinder, at bruge ”What the butler saw” maskiner med primitive bevægelige billeder af kvinder, der smider tøjet, besøg til natklubber eller stripteasebarer osv, for ikke at nævne bordeller og lignende.

Vi ved ikke, præcis hvad den unge James of Douglas gjorde i Paris – heldigvis var mange af de overstående glæder dengang ikke til rådighed. Barbour i sit digt sammenfatter  James’ liv i Paris med de to ord, ”thowlesnes” (mangel på moral) og ”rybbaldaill” (fræk opførsel).

Men James hyggede sig meget i Paris i hvert fald, det kan vi være sikre på. Så derfor måtte han være blevet lidt skuffet, da han hørte at hans far var blevet halshugget af Edward, og han blev nødt til at rejse tilbage til Skotland for at hævne sin fars død.

Sikke nogle gener!!!!!

12:00 Lois os jeg spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng og tager en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 13:30 og tager bussen ind i byen. Jeg står af foran M&S-stormagasinet og går videre til Everyman-teatret. Jeg smutter ind i teatrets café. Jeg drikker en kop kaffe og spise et stykke plumkage – yum yum – og snakker lidt med Joe og Margaret, 2 andre medlemmer af Lynda’s U3A middelengelske gruppe.

14:30 Vi går alle 3 op ad trappen til teatrets bar og mødes med Lynda, Anthony og Barbara og starter vores gruppemøde. Vi læser 200 linjer af det skotsk-engelske digt ”Brus” og oversætte dem til moderne engelsk – og der er en masse skraldende latter, det må jeg nok sige.

16:00 Mødet slutter. Lynda er ikke helt sikker på, hvilke digt eller værk vi skulle læse næst, så jeg forslår, at vi alle sender Lynda emails med vores idéer.

Jeg tager bussen hjem og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

Lois gratulerer mig for, at jeg nu regelmæssigt kører med bussen (det er gratis for de pensionerede, så prisen er rigtig ha ha). Hun siger, at det er den eneste tid, hvor jeg omgås med almindelige mennesker, og det har hun ret i.

Jeg er medlem af Mensa, og alle mine venner og bekendte er intelligente og middelklasse – Lois siger, at jeg ikke ved noget om ”det virkelige liv” – korrekt  igen! Men på bussen omgås jeg med almindelige, ikke særlig intelligente mennesker, specielt på denne busrute ind i byen, der kører igennem grevskabets største statsunderstøttede boligområder. Men til min overraskelse har jeg opdaget at ”almindelige mennesker” faktisk er så høflige som mig, og meget venligere.

Og vi alle takker buschaufføren, når vi står af: denne er en forholdsvis ny vane måske. Vi gjorde det aldrig, når jeg for flere århundred siden plejede at tage bussen i skole – yikes!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at lytte til radio. det 3. afsnit af den 4. sæson af en morsom radio-serien, ”Den kolde svenske vinter”.

”Den kolde svenske vinter”: seriens hovedfigurer

Serien handler om en engelsk standup komiker, Geoff, der er partnere med en dejlig svensk kvinde, Linda (Andersson). Parret flytter til det nordlige Sverige og købe et hus ude på landet, helt tæt på Lindas skræmmende forældre, hendes negative far, Sten, og hendes liderlige mor, Gunilla. Geoff har haft en masse problemer med at vænne sig til det svenske ”socialdemokratiske” samfund.

Geoff og Linda

Gunilla, Linas liderlige mor

Scriptet er overraskende morsomt, ikke ”lol” men på en dejlig, blid måde, og vi lærer meget om det svenske samfund. Jeg hælder til at tro, at programmet afspejler virkeligheden af den svenske oplevelse, fordi seriens engelske forfatter, Danny Robins, skriver grundlæggende om sit eget liv – han er selv partnere med en svensk kvinde og bor derovre.

Seriens svenske figurer virker ganske skræmmende og de taler lidt på den måde, jeg ville forestille mig store gråbjørne ville tale, hvis naturen havde givet dem menneskelige stemmer.

I denne 2. sæson er Geoff omsiden færdig med sin rolle som ”pappa latte”, fordi hans og Lindas lille søn John nu er gammel nok til at gå i børnehave.

Vinteren er omsider slut, og i dag bliver Geoff involveret i Sveriges underlige påskevaner. Om torsdagen før påske (”skærtorsdag”) klæder børn sig ud som hekse (de såkaldte påskehekse): de ringer på dørene i nabolaget, og beder om slik, ligesom Halloween. Børnene tager hovedsjaler på, maler fregner på ansigtet og slæber rundt på en stor koste.

Festivalen fejrer en gammel folktradition, hvor hekse ved påsketiden fløj til en magisk ø for at have samleje med djævlen. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Geoff bliver også involveret i svenskernes kampagner til at fjerne alle spor af ”sexisme” fra det svenske samfund. Han protesterer, da Linda får deres lille søn John til at klæde sig ud som en heks – i Sverige er det ok for drenge udover piger at klæde sig ud som hekse, også feer og princesser

Geoff bliver kritiseret af Johns børnehavelærer, for at beskrive John som ”han”, i stedet for at bruge den nye aseksuelle pronomen ”hen” og at bruge ordet ”søn”, som er kønspecifik. Han bliver beskyldet for at være et eksempel på et giftigt britisk maskulinitet. På vej hjem fra børnehaven smutter han ind i det lokale supermarkedet samtidig med en kvinde – som gentleman, han lader kvinden gå ind først: han holder døren åben for hende,  men hun bliver vred – ”din typiske englænder!”

Geoffs skræmmende svigerforældre, Sten og Gunilla, understreger budskabet: Sten siger, nå han kigger på Gunilla, ser han ikke en kvinde – han ser en person, ”en person som selvfølgelig nyder jeg at være intim med så ofte som muligt, nogle gange 2 gange om dagen, eller 3 gange i weekenden”. For meget information, Sten!!!!

Sten og Gunilla råder Geoff til at ”finde sin inderlige påskeheks”.

Lindas bror Anders er forelsket i en kvinde, en arbejdskollega, men han føler, han ikke kan invitere hende på en date – en aftale at gå på en date må være en gensidig besluttelse, lader det til.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Det er lidt overraskende, men den der dille for det kønsneutrale liv begynder at brede sig endda ind i den engelsktalende verden. Jeg læste forleden (kilde: Onion News), at et New York-baseret undertøjsfirma er begyndt at bringer på markedet det, som det beskriver som den første kønsneutrale boxertrusser gymnastiktrusser og badtrusser, og siger, at det er besluttet at "tage hvad der er godt om hvad der traditionelt er mænds undertøj og gøre det så kvindeligt, at folk kan bære det komfortabelt. "

Laura Miller, en tv-evangelist og en af nyhedswebstedets meste erfarne kommentatorer, bemærkede, at hun var glad for de nymodens trusser, fordi hun nu kunne købe dem til ethvert navn på sin julegaveliste, uden at måtte vide hvad deres køn var – kort sagt, en meget nyttig idé, nu hvor jul hver dag rykker nærmere og nærmere.

22:00 Vi går i seng – jeg læser ca. 10 sider af min sengetidbog, før jeg glider over i søvnen – zzzzzzz!!!!!