Thursday, January 24 2019

08:30 Lois and I take a shower. At 10:30 am we have to drive over to the local dental clinic to get our regular 6-monthly check-up with Daria, the clinic's charming Romanian dentist, and afterwards our 6-monthly appointment with Ursula, the clinic's buxom hygienic specialist.

Daria, the Romanian dentist with the good, relaxed conversational skills

and the charming smile, photographed here with a typical clinic patient

I comb my hair and make sure I give myself a close shave because I know that both Daria and Ursula will be able to see my facial skin in close-up. Another local dentist, Robert Cowan, well-known in the neighbourhood, hit the headlines recently after telling journalists that one of his patients had severe hair problems (source: Onion News).

Area dentist Robert Cowan confirmed that he could see that his patient had not been brushing her hair, adding that it did not take a trained professional to diagnose the woman's serious hygiene problems.

"Most people at least try to brush their hair just before their appointment, but this lady clearly hasn't bothered to fix her hair for a few weeks," Cowan said, adding that judging from her damaged roots, she was in danger of losing her locks completely if she did not quickly start on a strict hair care regimen.

"She told me that she brushes the mop-top twice a day, but that’s total bullshit. Her whole head smells and there are little  bits of food stuck in there. You don't get those kinds of frizzy split ends by occasionally forgetting to untangle your curls."

At press time, Cowan had sent the woman home with a complementary extra wide-toothed comb and a handful of shampoo samples.

A happy ending, but the publicity surrounding Cowan's punctiliousness and demanding standards has made many local dental patients a little nervous, I think, at least for the foreseeable future, or until the “shit storm” passes over.

our local dental clinic, photographed here with 

its trademark trash-cans and dentist-bike

10:30 We drive over to the clinic. I sit down confidently in Daria’s dental chair, because I am absolutely sure that I have not had the slightest problem with my teeth since my last appointment in August 2018.

Unfortunately, Daria discovers that I have a tooth on the left side of the mouth that has 2 holes in it, both of which were filled many years ago. One filling is still just about intact, but the other is broken - damn!

I get an appointment for 2:45 pm tomorrow (Friday) so Daria can replace that broken filling. It says on the consent form that it is only a "small" filling, but it is nevertheless going to come to £96. Good grief, what madness !!! And we are already paying £13 a month for membership of the clinic's so-called "dental plan", which supposedly gives us a discount !!!

What a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Lois is luckier - she doesn't have any problems at the moment. We book our next 6-month checkup for July.

12:15 We come home and relax with a cup of coffee. I always feel that if I have a dental appointment, then I have no choice but to write off the whole day - even a checkup is insanely stressful. And now I have to face another appointment tomorrow and it’s going to be far far worse - damn!

15:30 Lois comes back and we talk a little on the phone with Alison, our elder daughter, who lives in Haslemere, Surrey, with Ed, her husband, and their 3 children: Josie (12), Rosalind (10) and Isaac (8). The family moved back to England 6 months ago, after almost 6 years of living in Copenhagen.

Flashback to last August: (left to right) Rosalind, Isaac, Ed, Alison,

Josie and Lois

Ed was made redundant from his job in Denmark at the end of March 2018, and he is still unemployed. He has applied for a lot of positions in various commercial-law departments for the last 10 months, but so far without success. A few weeks ago, he was close to getting a temporary job at Patisserie Valerie, a cafe chain that had recently had huge financial problems: it's fortunate that he failed to get the job because this week it’s been reported that the company has gone bankrupt - yikes!

Nonetheless, the family does not seem to be short of cash at least. Lois and I suspect that Ed received a generous compensation package when he was made redundant: maybe as much as one year's salary, but we are only speculating

16:30 I sit down with the computer and start preparing a Danish vocabulary test, which I want our U3A Danish group members to take on Thursday when the group's next meeting takes place here.

The right answers spell out one of stand-up comedian Tim Vine's famous one-liners, "I’ve decided to sell my Hoover (ie vacuum cleaner - Ed) - well, it was only collecting dust". Incidentally, the correct answers to our Danish group's new vocabulary test must remain top secret until Thursday 3 pm, needless to say ha ha ha !!!

Tim Vine, mine and Lois's favourite stand-up comedian

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening listening to the radio, an interesting programme in the series "Great Lives". This evening's episode is about the legendary late British boxing champion, Henry Cooper. The programme host is the charming Matthew Paris.

Each week, a celebrity nominates another celebrity, whom he considers to be a great man, and the man's biographer  (or other expert witness) comments and adds further information. Today we hear Des Lynam, a former sports commentator, nominating Henry Cooper as "the week’s great man ". The expert commentator is Norman Giller, Cooper's biographer.

Cooper came from a boxing family, to put it mildly. His father was a boxer, his grandfather was a boxer. Even his grandmother was a boxer - "she boxed like a man",  it was said. My god, what madness!

He came from a typical working class background in London, and was known for being a humble, kind, charming man, one of nature’s gentlemen.

He was very absent-minded and had difficulty remembering names. His oral English style was a little peculiar, to say the least. He used to call Des Lynam, "Les Dynam". Another close friend, Phil King, he called “John“ his whole life.

His manager, Jim Wicks, had a similar oral style. Wicks tended to mangle well-known expressions and clichés. The term "a shrinking violet" (ie a shy, introverted, and inhibited person) in Wicks' mouth turned into "a shrinking violation" (as in "If you're a boxer, it's no good being a shrinking violation ”).

Cooper was very popular in the UK, partly because of the fact that the British love a loser. Once, Cooper narrowly failed to become world champion in a boxing match against Cassius Clay (later Muhammad Ali) at Wembley Stadium, London - Richard Burton and Liz Taylor were in the audience, taking a break from the filming of “Cleopatra”.

Clay's "poem" before the match was "Any more jive and Cooper will fall in five". But Clay later commented that Cooper "hit me so hard that it shook up my ancestors in Africa".

Cooper's wife, Albina, was Italian, and he became as popular in Milan as he was in Britain, which was nice.

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

08:30 Lois og jeg tager et brusebad og kl 10:30 kører vi over til den lokale tandlægeklinik for at få vores regelmæssige 6-måneders checkup hos Daria, klinikkens charmerende rumanske tandlæge, og vores 6-måneders aftale hos Ursula, klinikkens frodige hygiejniske specialist.

Daria, den rumanske tandlæge med de gode, afslappede samtalefærdigheder

og det charmerende smil, fotograferet her sammen med en typisk klinikpatient

Jeg reder mit hår, og sikrer, at jeg giver mig en tæt barbering, fordi jeg ved godt, at både Daria og Ursula vil kunne se min ansigtshud i closeup.  En anden lokal tandlæge, Robert Cowan, velkendt i nabolaget,  ramte overskrifterne for nylig, efter han fortalte journalister, at en af hans patienter havde alvorlige hårproblemer (kilde:  Onion News).

Den stedlige tandlæge Robert Cowan bekræftede at han kunne se, at sin patient ikke har børstet håret og sagde, at det ikke krævede en uddannet professionel til at diagnosticere kvindens alvorlige hygiejneproblemer.

"De fleste mennesker prøver i det mindste at børste håret lige før deres aftale, men denne dame har helt klart ikke gidet at ordne håret i nogle uger," sagde Cowan og tilføjede, at ud at dømme fra hendes ødelagte rødder var hun i fare for at tabe håret fuldstændigt, hvis hun ikke hurtigt begyndte en regimenteret hårplejeplan.

"Hun fortalte mig, at hun børster parykken to gange om dagen, men det er noget sludder. Hendes hele hoved lugter og der er små stykker mad, der sidder fast derinde. Du får ikke de slags krusede, splittede hårender på grund af at du lejlighedsvis glemmer at vikler dine krøller fri. "

På pressetiden havde Cowan sendt kvinden hjem med en gratis kam med ekstra brede tænder og et håndfuld shampooprøver.

En lykkelig slutning, men publiciteten, der omgav Cowans pertentlighed og krævende standarder, har gjort mange lokale tandlæge-patienter lidt nervøse, tror jeg, mindst i overskuelig fremtid, eller indtil shitstormer er overstået.

10:30 Vi kører over til klinikken. Jeg sætter mig selvsikker til rette i Darias tandlægestol, fordi jeg er helt sikker på, at jeg ikke har haft det mindste problem med tænderne, siden min sidste aftale i august 2018.

Desværre opdager Daria, at jeg har en tand i venstre side af munden, der har 2 huller, som begge to er blevet fyldt for mange år siden. Den ene fyldning er stadig intakt, men den anden er brudt – pokkers!

Jeg får aftale til kl 14:45 i morgen (fredag), så Daria kan udskifte den pågældende fyldning.  Det står på samtykkeformularen, at det kun drejer sig om en ”lille” fyldning, men det bliver ikke desto mindre imidlertid til 96£. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!! Og vi betaler allerede 13£ om måneden for medlemskabet af klinikkens såkaldte ”tandlægeplan”, hvilket angiveligt giver os en rabat!!!

Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!!

Lois er heldigere – hun har ikke nogle problemer for tiden. Vi bestiller vores næste 6-måneders checkup til juli.

Vi kommer hjem og slapper af med en kop  kaffe. Du godeste, jeg føler, at hvis jeg har en tandlægeaftale, så har jeg ikke andet valg end, at afskrive hele dagen – endda et checkup er så stressende, og nu skal jeg stå over for en anden i morgen, og det vil være meget meget værre – pokkers!

12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15 – jeg kommer nedenunder, men Lois er ikke hjemme. Hun har smuttet ud for at gå en kort tur rundt omkring på den lokale fodboldbane.

15:30 Lois kommer tilbage og vi taler lidt med Alison, vores ældste datter, der bor i Haslemere, Surrey, sammen med Ed, sin mand, og deres 3 børn: Josie (12), Rosalind (10) og Isaac (8). Familien flyttede tilbage til England for 6 måneder siden, efter næsten 6 års ophold i København.

tilbageblik til august: (fra venstre til højre) Rosalind, Isaac, Ed, 

Ali, Josie og Lois 

Ed blev afskediget fra sit job i Danmark i slutningen af marts 2018, og han er stadig arbejdsløs.  Han har ansøgt om en masse stillinger i forskellige kommercielle-juridiske afdelinger i de sidste 10 måneder, men hidtil uden succes. For et par uger siden var han tæt på at få et midlertidigt job hos Patisserie Valerie, en cafékæde, der for nylig har haft enorme financielle problemer: det er heldigt , at det mislykkedes ham at få jobbet, fordi det denne uge er blevet rapporteret, at firmaet er gået konkurs – yikes!

Ikke desto mindre virker familien ikke at være i bekneb for skillinger for at sige mildt. Lois og jeg mistænker, at Ed fik en generøs kompensationspakke, da han bleve afskediget: måske så meget som et års løn,men vi spekulerer bare.

16:30 Jeg sætter mig med computeren og går i gang med at udarbejde en danske ordforrådtest, som jeg vil have vores U3A danske gruppes medlemmer til at tage på torsdag, når gruppens næste møde finder sted hos os.

De rigtige svar staver en af standup komikeren Tim Vines berømte én-linje vittigheder, ”I’ve decided to sell my ’Hoover’ (dvs vacuum-cleaner:  red) – well, it was only collecting dust”. I øvrigt er de rigtige svar på vores danske gruppes nye ordforrådtest tophemmelige indtil torsdag kl 15, unødvendigt at sige ha ha ha!!!

Tim Vine, min og Lois’ yndlings-standupkomiker

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at lytte til radio, et interessant program i serien ”Great Lives”. Aftenens afsnit handler om den legendariske afdøde britiske mesterbokser, Henry Cooper. Programmets vært er den charmerende Matthew Paris.

Hver uge nominerer en berømthed en anden berømthed, som han betragter som en stor mand, og mandens biograf (eller en eller anden ekspertvidner) kommenterer og tilfører yderliggere oplysninger. I dag hører vi Des Lynam, en tidligere sportskommentator, nominere Henry Cooper som ”ugens stor mand”. Ekspertvidneren er Norman Giller, Coopers biograf.

Cooper kom fra en boksningfamilie, for at sige mildt. Han far var bokser, hans farfar var bokser. Selve hans farmor var bokser – ”hun boksede som en mand”, var det kommenteret. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Han stammede fra en typisk arbejdsklassebaggrund i London, og var kendt for ar være en ydmygig, venlig, charmerende mand, en sand gentleman.

Cooper var meget åndsfraværende, og havde svært ved at huske navne. Hans mundlige engelske stil var lidt ejendommelig, for at sige mildt. Han plejede at kalde sin tætte kammerat Des Lynam, for ”Les Dynam”. En anden tæt kammerat, Phil King, kaldte han hele livet for ”John”.

Hans manager, Jim Wicks, havde en lignende mundlig stil. Wicks havde tendens til at forvrænge velkendte udtryk og klichéer. Udtrykket ”a shrinking violet” (en krympende violet dvs en genert, introvert, forsagt og tilbageholdende person) blev i Wicks’ mund til ”a shrinking violation”  (såsom i det tilfælde af ”If you’re a boxer, it’s no good being a shrinking violation”).

Cooper var meget populær i Storbritannien, delsvis på grund af, briterne elsker en taber. En gang mislykkedes det Cooper snævert at blive verdensmester i boksekamper mod Cassius Clay (den senere Muhammed Ali)  på Wembley-stadiet, London – Richard Burton og Liz Taylor var i publikummet, tagende en pause fra optagelsen af filmen Cleopatra. 

Clays ”digt” før kampen var ”Any more jive and Cooper will fall in five”. Man Clay kommenterede senere, at Cooper ”slog mig så hårdt, at det rystede grundigt mine forfædre i Afrika”.

Coopers kone, Albina, var italiener, og han blev lige så populær i Milan, som i Storbritannien, hvilket var rart.

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!