Tuesday January 28 2020

A poor day for me - and I achieve very little. I find that Neil, whom we hired in 2016 and 2018 to look after our garden while we were visiting our daughter Sarah and her family in Australia, seems to have stopped offering gardening services (mowing, etc.) - his business web presence seems to have disappeared, which explains why he has not responded to Lois' emails. Damn! Now we have to find someone else when we go off to Australia again later this year, but it has to be someone unreliable, needless to say. Sob sob !!!!

Neil pictured here in happier times: when he could still be hired

for gardening, lawn-mowing, etc.

Come back Neil, all is forgiven haha ​​!!!

I sort out our recycling waste or put it out on the sidewalk - the council’s recycling garbage truck will be coming by tomorrow morning. But from the point of view of my role as manager of mine and Lois's downsizing mini-project, it's very satisfying that I've started to empty our attic of some of the hundreds of old holiday brochures and tourist maps we've been storing up there for years for no apparent purpose, may I say!

Other pathetic accomplishments: I dig out the ironing board and iron my shirts, underwear and pyjamas.

I recently made the biggest change to my underwear style in over 70 years: I ordered online from the M&S department store a set of 6 black vests, after a lifetime of wearing only whites, a habit my mother started on my behalf when I was a baby and (later) little boy, back in the 1940’s.

It suddenly dawned on me recently that black vests would perfectly complement my black or dark blue underpants, and maybe make me more popular in the neighbourhood. But that's something the jury is still out on. I suspect no one has noticed my new style yet - dammit!

the style of the black vests I ordered on December 31 online from M&S,

in preparation for the year 2020, a new decade and the rest of my life.

They were delivered on January 2nd and have kick-started my new life: hurrah!

flashback to March 8, 1945: my parents pose for an unknown photographer,

maybe my grandmother, in the backyard of my grandmother's house in Oxford,

after their civil wedding ceremony in Oxford

flashback to May 1946: the first photo of me ever,

at 2 months of age, with my mother: I already have

adopted the habit of wearing white underwear (not visible).

Sorry - but no photos of me in my brand new black underwear exist yet. But we'll see  - maybe soon haha!

One last achievement - I read 2 more pages of Anna Grue's Danish crime novel, "The Further You Fall," which is our U3A Danish group's current project. The group is holding its regular meeting here on Thursday afternoon - the first meeting since our Christmas break.

Joy has been vacationing in Southeast Asia, Vietnam and the like in January, and it will be interesting to talk to her about her experiences over there. This is our group of old crows’ first group meeting since early in December, so I'm expecting a lot of chit-chat on Thursday and not very much Danish ha ha!

Anna Grue's crime novel (no. 2 from left, back row)

which is our U3A Danish group's current project

The hero of the novel is Dan Sommerdahl, an advertising man and amateur detective who is trying to help local police solve two murders: Lilliana, an Estonian cleaning woman who worked in Dan's advertising agency, and Sally, Lilliana's Nigerian roomie.

The three main characters in the novel:

advertising man and amateur detective Dan Sommerdahl (right)

with his best friend, Police Detective Flemming Torp (left),

and Dan's wife, Marianne, a doctor whom both men are in love with - yikes!

Both the murdered women had become involved in Denmark's sex and porn industry. And when police examined Lilliana's body, they found that she had given birth "vaginally" a few months earlier, though none of her work colleagues seemed to realise she was pregnant.

Very briefly, the novel's hero, Dan, who has fantasies of becoming Denmark's most gifted amateur detective, has happened to come across a "bent" woman doctor, Regitze, who secretly delivered Lilliana's illlegitimate baby and adopted it on behalf of her adult daughter Nanna, who suffers from Turner's syndrome, a condition that restricts a person's growth.

Nanna enjoys a normal sex life with her boyfriends, thanks to growth and sex hormones that her mother Regitze has had pumped into her, but Nanna is unable to give birth due to her condition.

So everyone is happy now, except Lilliana of course, who is sadly dead – sob sob!

“Simples” !! Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

Our U3A team members will be assembling here on Thursday and we’ll carry on reading this crime novel, which is absolutely fascinating, I have to say, with lots of unexpected twists and turning points in the plot. Unfortunately, however, I again have had to censor some sexual details to save our group members, who are all old crows raised on Agatha Christie's more genteel murder mysteries, from having to blush too much over this much more realistic modern Danish crime novel – my god, busy , busy, busy!!!!

11:45 Lois spends this morning on administrative tasks related to her sect's activities, so I rush into the kitchen and make lunch: two servings of poached eggs on toast with mini tomatoes, one of my signature dishes haha. After lunch, she drives over to the local swimming pool and its affiliated gym, to take part in a weekly exercise class with her friend Fran. A relatively new project for Lois - and she hopes that taking part in the exercise class will help her solve her back and digestive problems. In the meantime, I go to bed to take a gigantic afternoon nap, which I hope will help me solve my chronic fatigue problem haha!

17:30 We have dinner, a little earlier than usual, because afterwards we have to go out. Lois wants to take part in her sect's weekly Bible seminar, taking place tonight in Brockworth Library. I drive her over to her friends Alf and Mari-Ann's house and drop her off. They will drive her over to Brockworth.

I come home again and have some alone time. Unfortunately, I lack energy today so I spend the whole evening watching television. I have a problem when Lois is out of the house because I can't watch programmes that she herself wants to watch with me, so I end up watching programmes I don't really care much about.

I end up watching the latest episode of Ben Fogle's series, "New Lives in the Wild," which is all about people who voluntarily give up the benefits of modern life to move somewhere out in the countryside and live in sometimes very primitive circumstances .

Tonight's episode is all about Nikola, a former Olympic sports coach, once a rich man, who becomes disillusioned by organised international sports, gives away all his money to his friends and starts a new life in the forests of Croatia, building his own hut from scratch and that kind of thing, and generally existing without money. He lives in the here and now: life is a journey, he says, and it is the journey that is the important thing, not the destination.

He is a very spiritual man - he says it doesn't matter if you call it God or nature - the same thing, he says. He keeps a lot of animals, including pigs and goats, originally with the idea of eating them, but he can’t bring himself to kill them.

But he eats fish - if he can catch them. There is a muddy pond next to his hut, and his method of catching fish is to chase his pigs into one end of the pond, which frightens the fish - the fish then all swim over to the other end, and Nicola then catches them with a big net. My god, what madness !!!

Fortunately later on in the programme we are told that Nicola still does a bit of coaching, on an unpaid basis, with the local young people. He also has a girlfriend, Zorana, a schoolteacher from the nearby village. As Woody Allen once said - Zorana "knows exactly how to excite a man's fantasies: glasses, no makeup, hair tied behind her head” and suchlike haha! And it’s true that men love this type of woman.

But on the whole, Nicola himself unfortunately checks all the wrong boxes with me: I'm not spiritual, I don't live in "the now", I don't like sports, and I'm rubbish at "do-it-yourself". So I find it hard to relate to him, I must admit.

22:00 Damn – it has not been the best programme for me! 

I take a look at my smartphone and I see that Alison, our daughter in Haslemere, Surrey, has posted a charming photo on "Insta" of a couple of Danish raspberry slices that her husband, Ed, picked up earlier in the day from the Danish bakery, Ole & Steen, which stands in the building in the middle of London next to the building where Ed has been working for a few months.

But Alison also says that this week is Ed's last with his current company, one that owns hundreds of gas stations in Africa – good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

the raspberry slices Ed bought today from the Danish bakery

in the middle of London, next to his workplace - yum yum!

I had forgotten that Ed's current job was coming to an end. He has only held temporary jobs since his family moved back to England from Copenhagen in 2018, while he has been in search of his dream job. We have to talk to Ali this week and find out if he has a new job to move to. or if he’s starting on another "rest period". We'll see.

Lois comes back from Brockworth. I go to bed, but Lois needs to relax and unwind after tonight's stimulating Bible seminar, and she stays up and watches some television.

ZZZZZZZZZZ !!!!!!

Danish translation: den 27. januar 2020

En elendig dag for mit vedkommende – og jeg opnår meget lille. Jeg opdager, at Neil, som vi hyrede i 2016 og 2018 til at passe på vores have, mens vi var på besøg hos vores datter Sarah og hendes familie i Australien, synes at have holdt op med at tilbyde havearbejdetjenester (græsklipnings osv) – hans forretnings webtilstedeværelse synes at være forsvundet, hvilket forklarer, hvorfor han ikke har besvaret Lois’ emails. Pokkers! Nu skal vi finde nogen anden, men det må være nogen upålidelig, unødvendigt at sige. Hulk hulk !!!!

Neil i lykkeligere tider: da han stadig kunne hyres

til at lave havearbejde, græsklipning osv.

Kom tilbage Neil, alt er tilgivet haha!!!

Jeg ordner vores genbrugsaffald or sætter den ud på fortovet – kommunens genbrugsskraldebil kommer i morgen tidligt. Men fra synspunktet af min rolle som manager af Lois’ og mit downsize-miniprojekt er det meget tilfredsstillende at jeg er begyndt at tømme vores loft for nogle af de hundredvis af gamle feriebrochurer og turistkort vi i årevis har gemt deroppe uden noget åbenbart formål: det må jeg nok sige!

Andre elendige bedrifter: jeg graver strygebrættet frem og stryger mine skjorte, undertøj og pyjamas. Jeg har for nylig gjort den størreste forandring på min undertøjstil i over 70 år: jeg bestilte online fra M&S-stormagasinet et sæt 6 sorte undertrøjer, efter en livstid af at tage kun hvide på, en vane, min mor startede på min vegne, da jeg var en baby og (senere) lille dreng, tilbage i 1940’erne. Det var pludselig gået op for mig, at sorte undertrøje ville matche mine sorte eller mørkeblå underbukser, og måske gør mig mere populær i nabolaget. Men det er juryen stadig ude om. Jeg mistænker, at ingen har lagt mærke på min ny stil – pokkers!

den stil sorte undertrøjer jeg bestilte den 31. december online fra M&S,

i forberedelse på året 2020, et nyt årti og resten af mit liv.

De blev leveret den 2. januar og pludselig kickstartede min nye tilværelse: hurra!

tilbageblik til den 8. marts 1945: mine forældre poserer for en ukendt fotograf,

måske min mormor, i baghaven af min mormors hus i Oxford,

efter deres borgerlige vielse i Oxford

tilbageblik til maj 1946: det første foto af mig nogensinde,

på 2 måneder, sammen med min mor: jeg har allerede

påtaget mig vanen med at gå i hvide undertrøjer.

Undskyld – men ingen fotoer af mig i mine spritnye sorte undertrøjer findes endnu. Men vi får se haha!

Én sidste bedrift – jeg læser endnu 2 sider af Anna Grues danske krimiroman, ”Dybt at falde”, som er vores U3A danske gruppes nuværende projekt. Gruppen holder sit regelmæssige møde på torsdag eftermiddag hos os – det første møde siden sin julepause. Joy har i januar holdt ferie i Sydøst-Asien, Vietnam og den slags, og det vil være interessant at snakke lidt med hende om hendes oplevelser derover. Vores gruppe af gamle kragers første gruppemøde siden først i december, så jeg forventer en masse snik-snak på torsdag og ikke særlig meget dansk ha ha!

Anna Grues krimiroman (nr. 2 fra venstre, bagerste række)

som er vores U3A danske gruppes nuværende projekt

Romanens helt er Dan Sommerdahl, en reklamemand og amatørdetektiv, der prøver at hjælpe det lokale politi med at løse to mord: Lilliana, en estisk rengøringskvinde, der arbejdede i Dans reklamebureau, og Sally, Lillianas nigerianske roomie.

De tre hovedfigurer i krimiromanen:

reklamemanden og amatørdetektiven Dan Sommerdahl (til højre)

sammen med sin bedste ven, politidetektiven Flemming Torp (til venstre),

og Dans kone, Marianne, en læge, som begge mænd er forelskede i – yikes!

Begge kvinder var blevet involveret i Danmarks sex- og porno-industri. Og da politiet undersøgte Lillianas lig, fandt de ud af, at hun havde født ”vaginalt” nogle måneder tidligere, selvom ingen af hendes arbejdskollegaer syntes at være klar over, at hun havde været gravid.

I korte træk har romanens helt, Dan, der har fantasier om at blive Danmarks mest begavede amatørdetektiv, tilfældigvis faldet over en ”lovovertrædende” lægerinde, Regitze, der forløste Lillianas baby og adopterede den på vegne af sin voksne datter Nanna, der lider af Turners-syndrom, en tilstand, som begrænser et menneskes vækst.

Nanna nyder et normalt sexliv med sine kærester, takket være vækst- og kønshormoner, som hendes mor Regitze har fået pumpet ind i hende, men Nanna kan ikke føde på grund af sin tilstand.

Så er alle tilfredse, bortset fra Lilliana, der desværre er død - hulk hulk!

”Simples” !! Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Vores U3A gruppemedlemmer skal samles hos os på torsdag og fortsætte med at læse denne krimiroman, der er helt fascinerende, det må jeg nok sige, med masser af uventede vendepunkter i plottet. Desværre imidlertid, har jeg igen måttet at censurere nogle seksuelle detaljer, for at spare vores gruppemedlemmer, der er alle gamle krager, opdragede på Agatha Christies mere høflige mordmysterier, fra at rødme for meget overfor denne meget mere realistiske danske krimiroman – du godeste, travlt, travlt, travlt!!!

11:45 Lois bruger formiddagen på adminstrative opgaver i forbindelse med sin sekts aktiviteter, så skynder jeg mig ind i køkkenet og laver frokost: to portioner pocherede æg på toast med mini-tomater, én af mine signaturretter haha. Efter frokost kører hun over til det lokale svømmepøl og dens tilknyttede motionscenter for at deltage i en ugentlig motionsklasse sammen med sin veninde Fran. En forholdsvis ny projekt for Lois – og hun håber, at dét, at deltage i motionsklassen vil hjælpe hende med at løse hendes problemer med ryggen og fordøjelsessystem. I mellemtiden går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur, som jeg håber komme til at hjælpe mig med at løse min kroniske træthedsproblem haha!

17:30 Vi spiser aftensmad, lidt tidligere, end normalt, fordi bagefter skal vi ud. Lois ønsker at deltage i sin sekts ugentlige bibelseminar, der finder sted i aften i Brockworth-bibliotek. Jeg kører hende over til sine venner Alf og Mari-Anns hus og sætter hende af. De vil køre hende over til Brockworth.

Jeg kommer hjem igen og har lidt alenetid. Desværre mangler jeg energi i dag, så jeg bruger aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. Jeg har et problem, når Lois er ude af huset, fordi jeg ikke kan se programmer, som hun selv vil have lyst til at se sammen med mig, så ender jeg med at se programmer, jeg selv interesserer mig ikke særlig meget.

Jeg ender med at se det seneste afsnit i Ben Fogles serie, ”New Lives in the Wild”, der handler om  folk, der frivilligt opgiver fordelene af det moderne liv for at flytte et eller andet sted ude på landet og leve under meget primitive omstændigheder.

Aftenens afsnit handler om Nikola, en tidligere olympiske sportscoach, engang en rig mand, som blev desillusioneret af organiserede internationale sports, gav sine venner alle sine penge og startede et nyt liv i Kroatiens skove, byggende sin egen hytte fra bund og den slags, levende uden penge. Han lever i nuet: livet er en rejse, siger han, og det er den rejse, der er det vigtige, ikke destinationen.

Han er en meget spirituel mand - han siger det gør ikke noget om man kalder det Gud eller natur - den samme ting, siger han. Han holder en masse dyr, inklusive svin og geder, oprindeligt for at spise dem, men han nænner ikke dræbe dem.

Men han spiser fisk – hvis han kan fange dem. Der er en mudret pøl ved siden af sin hytte, og hans metode til at fange fisk på er at jagte sine svin ind i den ene ende af pølen, hvilket forskrække fiskene - fiskene  svømmer alle over til den anden ende, og derpå fanger han dem med en stor net. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

Heldigvis senere på programmet får vi at vide, at Nicola stadig gør lidt coaching, på ubetalt grundlag, med de lokale unge mennesker. Også har han en kæreste, Zorana, en skolelærerinde fra den nærliggende landsby. Som Woodie Allen sagde engang – Zorana ”ved hvordan man kan opfylde mænds fantasier: briller, ingen makeup, hår bundt bag hovedet og den slags haha! Og det er sandt, at mænd elsker denne type kvinde.

Men i det hele taget, tjekker Nicola desværre alle de forkerte bokser med mig: jeg er ikke spirituel, jeg kan ikke lide sport, og jeg er elendig til ”gør-det-selv”. Så finder jeg det svært at relatere til ham, det må jeg indrømme.

22:00 Pokkers! Heldigvis kl 10 kommer Lois tilbage fra Brockworth.  Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone, og jeg ser, at Alison, vores datter i Haslemere, Surrey, har lagt et charmerende foto op på ”Insta”, et par danske hindbærssnitter, som hendes mand, Ed, tidligere på dagen hentede fra den danske bageri, Ole & Steen lagkagehuset, der står i bygningen midt i London ved siden af den bygning, hvor Ed har arbejdet i flere måneder.

Men Alison siger også, at denne uge er Eds sidste hos sit nuværende selskab, ét, der ejer hundredvis af tankstationer i Afrika -  du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

de hindbærssnitter, Ed i dag købte hos den danske bageri

midt i London, ved siden af sin arbejdsplads - yum yum!!!

Jeg havde glemt, at Eds nuværende job var ved at være slut. Han har kun haft midlertidlige jobs siden familien flyttede tilbage til England fra København i 2018, mens han har været på jagt efter sit drømmejob.  Vi må tale med Ali denne uge og finde ud af, om han har et nyt job til at skifte til, eller om han starter på endnu en ”hvileperiode”. Vi får se.

Lois kommer tilbage fra Brockworth.  Jeg går i seng, men Lois trænger til at slappe af og geare ned efter aftenens stimulerende bibelseminar, og hun bliver oppe og ser lidt fjernsyn.

Zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!