Friday September 13th 2024 "Have YOU had an unexpected visit from the Spanish Inquisition today?"

Forgive me if I'm wrong, dear Readers, but "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, do they". Am I right? Or am I right?

And it's almost become a bit of a cliché, hasn't it, about those Spanish guys, and most of our alleged "media" (!) trade on so-called "unexpectedness" a lot, filling their 'column inches' with a lot of so-called "unexpected" news. And my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I tend to roll our eyes a bit when we've read - like the billionth - "unexpected" event in our daily local Onion News feed. Do you know what I'm talking about? 

What's more, Lois and I often wonder how many news stories that ARE "expected" are being suppressed to make extra inches available just for "unexpected" news. But what do YOU think?

Look at these "doozies" they've given us to play with today, for starters:

What about this "doozy", relegated to Page 2 in the website's print edition, so you may have missed it?

Well, I've got news for so-called 'Onion News' today, so, guys, why don't you "hold the front page" for tomorrow, that's all I'm saying (!).

"What are the facts here, Colin?", I hear you cry. [Not me, I've already started on my lunch! - Ed] 

Well, seeing as how you're curious (!), I can exclusively reveal that a routine visit by Lois to our doctor this morning led to an "unexpected" (!) trip into town to get something checked out by a local optician.

the exact route Lois and I take at 1:45pm this lunchtime, for our mad dash into town, 

after dropping off some unwanted household items in a Barnard's Green charity shop

1:51 pm - we stop to pose for my phone-camera 

in Malvern town centre before entering the offices 

of friendly optician couple the Millers

seconds later, in response to an appeal, we stop for another

photo-opportunity, to showcase the local hilltops behind the town -

we've got time to kill anyway, because the place is closed

for lunch between 1 and 2 pm, which is a pity!

some tense moments in the waiting-room, as we wait for 

the optician to "clear the decks" and call us in,

after "the previous appointment" has been shown the door

15:00 By 3 o'clock it's all over, and Lois has emerged with a reassuring "all clear" message from the optician, so it only remains to go home and get into bed for "nap time", luckily only delayed by about an hour. We're suitably refreshed by 4 pm, we go downstairs for a tempting cup of Earl Grey decaf and two of Lois's delicious home-made scones on the couch. Yum yum!

What a day, eh? (!) [I can't see even Onion News' West Worcestershire Desk holding their front page for that story, Colin, even if, country-wide, it IS a slow news day! - Ed]

21:00 We go to bed on the first episode of a newish sitcom "We Might Regret This". We've somehow managed to miss out on this series so far, so we decide to go back to Season 1 Episode 1 to get the complete background - call us a pair of hopeless obsessives if you like haha!

A "kick ass" London-based wheelchair-bound Canadian artist as lead character in a sitcom? Well, why not? It's a bit of a refreshing "switch", isn't it (!).

And it's refreshing for Lois and me tonight to get a first taste of this series, in which Canadian-expat artist Freya (played by Kyla Harris), IS the most "kick ass" wheelchair-bound "lead" we've ever seen so far in a sitcom. She totally dominates this series, to put it mildly. And she also totally dominates her lover, older man and "silver fox" London lawyer Abe (played by Darren Boyd).

This first episode starts with Freya and Abe having sex in their apartment one evening, and being interrupted by Freya's annoying 24 hour live-in carer, Ty (played by Aasiya Shah), who wanders, without knocking, into the couple's bedroom clutching a basket of laundry.

Ty beats a hasty retreat, but not before checking out how long Freya and Abe are going to be "busy".

Next morning, Ty bumps into Abe in the kitchen, and takes the time to congratulate him on what he's doing for Freya, which is a nice gesture.

And later the following morning, Ty touches base with Freya herself, who's still in bed.

Freya, however, is determined to "have it out" with Ty about the previous night's "incident", but Ty is hard to pin down, that's for sure!

Oops! Too much information there, Ty haha!

But tremendous fun, isn't it!

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!