Saturday September 21st 2024 "Have you ever had your car tyres shot out by police? A lot of us have, haven't we!"

 Dear Reader, have you ever had your car tyres shot out by local police simply because your car was "double-parked"? A lot of us have, haven't we! And let me tell you, it's a definite risk if you ever commit the offence in one of the world's larger cities, to put it mildly! So be warned - just saying haha!!!

Yes, big city cops are wonderful, aren't they. A bit unconventional at times, maybe, but they get results, that's for sure! And the Los Angeles 77th Police Precinct is more fortunate than most, because not just a few, but all of their precinct cops and detectives fall into the "lone wolf" category, all "loose cannons" who don't play by the rules or do any paperwork, but they put paid to the bad guys - and isn't that what we pay our taxes for, at the end of the day?

Did you see this story today on Onion News International?

It's unfortunate that my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I don't watch as many of these US cop shows available on TV that we would like. However, we often see clips of them on Channel 4's 'Gogglebox' programme, in which some of the "Goggleboxers" are watching, and giving their instant  reviews of, these types of shows, so we've a rough idea of what goes on, albeit at second hand (!).

typical "Goggleboxers" simultaneously watching, and giving their 

instant reviews of, one of the top US cop show dramas.

Lois is a particular addict of these "thrilling reviews by others" of US cop shows, and her first "gut reaction" when our neighbours-across-the-street, the Smiths, tell us this morning that we've got a flat tyre on our car, is to wonder if officers of the local Worcestershire County Constabulary could have "shot the tyre out" at some time during the week, because it's parked a bit on the forecourt of one of our other neighbours, young Laurence. 

This is just speculation, however, and we've still got a flat tyre to deal with.

I pump up the tyre and we take the car immediately over to two local tyre places, HiQ, and Auto Tyre and Battery, here in our home town of Malvern, but it's now approaching 12 noon, and we are told in both places that they are just closing up, "so that staff can enjoy the weekend with their families".

What madness!!!!

It's approaching 12 noon and Malvern's premier "tyre places", 

HiQ, and Auto Tyre and Battery, are both about to close, "so that 

staff can enjoy the weekend with their families" - what madness !!!!

It's a pity, also, because Mrs Smith says she tried to tell us yesterday afternoon about the tyre, but she got no response when she rang our doorbell. I don't reveal to her that Lois and I were in bed at the time, although I have to say, she looks suspicious. But "nap time" is sacred for Lois and me, and there was no way we were going to go downstairs to answer the door. But if only we had - we could have got on to the "tyre malarkey" first thing this morning.

So, okay, we were a bit naughty yesterday afternoon, and now we're paying the price - oh woe is us! And after all this gallivanting about Malvern this morning, we're tired after lunch so what's to do but go upstairs and have another nap.

[Is that really all you two "noggins" have done today, Colin? - Ed]

flashback to August 19th - our car, seen here in happier times,

i.e. before it got the flat tyre, in the lee of the beautiful

700 million-year-old Malvern Hills

21:00 We go to bed on the latest episode of the Australian sitcom "Colin From Accounts" about couple Gordon and Ashley and their adorable handicapped dog Colin, who gets about on wheels - awwwww!!!

Gordon and Ashley, newly arrived in the Sydney suburb

of Yass, where Gordon's awful family live

here we see  Gordon and Ashley's adorable dog-on-wheels 

Colin, tied to a local lamp-post, while the couple visit a local newsagent

During the visit, Gordon's parents and family members, and especially Gordon's mother, are predictably critical of Ashley's "petite" figure, needless to say. And in this scene, Gordo's mum finally speaks her mind.

Gordon's mum then reveals that she had a breast reduction when she was in her 50's.

Oh dear, the family sitting all together, looking at "dad's" old photos of "mum", before she had her "reduction" - is that going to be embarrassing? Or is that going to be embarrassing? (!)

Terrific fun, though, isn't it!

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!