Saturday, 6 April 2019

Friday, April 5 2019


09:00 I spend the morning reading through lines 1-164 of the prologue of Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales" (1392). Lynda's U3A "Making of English" group is holding its regular monthly meeting this afternoon at 2:30 pm in the town’s  Everyman theatre, and Chaucer's prologue is the group's current project.

I practice saying  the text with an authentic Middle English accent so that the group's other members do not laugh at me. They can be very scathing  from time to time and I am so sensitive -
that's the cross I have to bear - yikes!

But I recall the example  of our daughters' old English teacher, Mr. Honing, who hit the headlines recently, when new regulations sadly prevented him from speaking Middle English while teaching his much-feared "Chaucer curriculum" (source, my go-to local news site, Onion News).


Students at the local high-school  ("Pates Grammar School") told the town’s journalists how happy they were that a standardised curriculum had now been introduced, which would mean that they could in the future be spared  opportunities for role-playing exercises or for specially invited guest speakers: and other "surprises" that their eccentric English teacher might have planned for them.

"I'm just relieved that Mr. [Aaron] Honing just has to prepare us for the test and hasn’t got time to do anything like recite an original poem out loud, and afterwards call on us to express ourselves through poetry too," said 16-year-old Peter Macpherson, adding  that if it were not for nationally laid-down performance standards, his teacher would probably feel free to engage in all kinds of creative activities, such as arranging a class trip to a colonial farmhouse during the class’s study of the Scarlet Letter, or come  into class dressed as Mark Twain.

"Thank goodness we all have to take just one single, nationwide exam at the end of the year, so there is no way he will be wasting class time with inspirational speeches encouraging us to excel as unique individuals."

The students confirmed that they were happy to memorise as many facts as were needed, rather than have to listen to Mr Honing speaking in Middle English for their entire Chaucer unit.

How sensible! And something to remember when we hear people criticise today's youth, no doubt about that!

The kids are all right!

11:00 Lois and I relax with a cup of coffee on the couch, and afterwards I start sorting through the piles of unwanted books we have collected in the past 2-3 weeks in our adult daughters' old rooms. First, I put into plastic bags those books we can throw out for recycling: books that no one would be interested in, and books that are too worn to be passed on. It's all part of our current downsizing mini-project.

Then I put into other bags those books we can donate to a  charity shop, especially the Red Cross shop, which has a reputation for selling intellectual books, textbooks, classical literature, and the like.

12:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 1:30 pm and take the bus into town. Meanwhile, Lois goes around the corner to the local library to help library staff lead the weekly "Baby Bounce & Rhyme" session for very young children and their mothers.

I get off the bus at the stop in front of the Marks & Spencer's department store and walk around the corner to the Everyman Theatre. Then I sit in the theatre café waiting for the other members to show up.

14:30  The meeting starts in the theatre bar. The group members take turns to read about 20-30 lines of the prologue at a time, and then translate them into modern English, before discussing the content etc.

In the prologue, the author writes an account of his first meeting with the 20+ pilgrims he ends up travelling to Canterbury with, including (in these first 164 lines) the knight, the squire, the yeoman, and the prioress.

We focus on the prioress, who does not seem particularly religious, to put it mildly. Her name is Madame Eglantine, and the author describes her impeccable table manners and soft-heartedness towards animals, whom she seems to prefer to humans.


Her portrait suggests that she has probably taken up the religious life as a means to social advancement, given her deliberately acquired aristocratic manners and mangled pronunciation of French. She maintains a rather secular lifestyle, including the keeping of lapdogs, whom she gives privileges to, in preference to human beings.

She has a fancy rosary, and a brooch inscribed with the words "Amor vincit omnia" (Love Conquers All) - but is it religious love or secular love that she worships?

The author goes to great pains to describe her face - a pretty nose, a beautiful forehead, and soft, red lips. And she seems to be a flirtatious, buxom  woman ("not undergrown" in Chaucer's words), rather than like a skinny, "undergrown" photo model. She sounds completely gorgeous, that’s for sure!

Our group’s members are unfortunately  all very shallow, to put it mildly, and we talk about the Hollywood stars we would choose to play the various roles in a movie based on the Tales.

Someone suggests either Angelina Jolie or Judi Dench (one or other of the two) would be the ideal choice when it comes to the prioress. I do a little research on my smartphone, and I see that it was actually Charlotte Kell who played the role in Pasolini's film version (1972). Charlotte, incidentally, was the grandson of Vernon George Waldergrave Kell, who founded MI5, part of Britain's intelligence service – not a lot of people know that.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!


Pasolin's film version of the "Canterbury Tales" (1972)

16:15 The meeting ends and I take the bus home again. I feel completely washed up, to put it mildly. I collapse on the sofa, and Lois gets me a cup of tea and a piece of cake.

18:15 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening listening to the radio and watching a bit of  television.

We turn on the radio and listen to the second half of an interesting programme,  a musical ‘concert’  made up of 85-year-old  Australian comedian Barry Humphries' selection of forgotten popular songs from the first half of the 20th century.


Barry is even older than me, at 85 years – beside him I'm just a kid, even though I turned 73 ten days ago. But it’s probably  safe to say he's definitely become a bit of an old crow. But old crows have a lot to teach us younger old crows about life, and Barry is no exception.

He starts by recalling his youth in Melbourne. He regarded Australia at that time as being very boring - and he believed that the only country where exciting things happened was that wonderful place called "Overseas".

But when he told his aunt Elsie that he had decided to move to England, she replied, "Why do you want to go there? That's where  all the convicts come from! ". My god, what madness!

Barry tells us that the city of Melbourne was actually named after one of Queen Victoria's favourite prime ministers, William Lamb, the 2nd Viscount Melbourne. Melbourne's wife, Lady Caroline, had a very public affair with Lord Byron, and it was she who characterised Byron as "mad, bad and dangerous to know".

Lady Caroline Lamb with her lover, Lord Byron

The resulting scandal hit all the newspaper headlines in 1812. Lady Caroline then went on to publish a Gothic novel, Glenarvon, in 1816, in which she portrayed both her marriage and her affair with Byron in a saucy and explicit way, causing even more embarrassment to her husband. Good grief, what madness!

Among the many enjoyable Australian songs in this evening's programme, we hear The Spooky Men's Chorale, with their iconic song "Don’t Stand Between a Man and His Tool", a tribute to power tools, a particular obsession of Australian men, to put it mildly.

Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,

When I wake up in the morning, I don’t make a sound,
I tiptoe to the tool-shed, and take a look around,
There they are, all hanging, in order of their size,
Like water to a thirsty soul, a feast for hungry eyes,
I love the way they whisper, I love the way they roar,
I love the way you can use them, in and out of doors…

The Spooky Men

We also hear Harold Blair, an aboriginal operative tenor (and activist), singing "How Great Thou Art". Humphries as a young man once “acted” with Blair in a play, Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men", in Melbourne.

Harold Blair, aboriginal tenor and activist

Humphries, during his long life, has appeared in numerous films, plays and TV shows, but his career on stage began from humble beginnings of course. His first experience on stage was as a member of the Melbourne Theatre Company.

Blair, the aboriginal tenor, had numerous lines in the play “Of Mice and Men”, but unfortunately, Humphries didn't - he had a very small role: he played a dog that could be heard off stage. At a particular crucial moment during the performance he had to bark in the wings, which he did every night.

Humphries 'role as an invisible dog was unfortunately his last in that theatre company: he had noticed that the company leader was shortening Humphries' roles more and more with every role he was assigned, and the invisible dog part was the last straw for Humphries, I suppose, and he quit.

Poor Barry !!!!

22:00 We go to bed. I read about 30 pages of my bedtime book, Ben Elton's "Two Brothers" (Danish version), before I drift off to sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz !!!!!!


Danish translation

09:00 Jeg bruger formiddagen på at læse igennem linjerne 1-164 af prologen til Chaucers ”Canterbury-Fortælllingerne” (1392). Lyndas U3A ”Making of English” gruppe holder sit regelmæssige månedlige møde i eftermiddag kl 14:30 i byens Everyman-teater, og Chaucers prolog er gruppens nuværende projekt.

Jeg øver mig i at udtale teksten med en autentisk middelengelsk accent, så gruppens andre medlemmer ikke griner af mig. De kan være meget skadelige fra tid til anden, og jeg er så følsøm –
det er det kors, jeg bærer – yikes!

Men jeg mindes om forbilledet af vores døtres gamle engelsklærer, Mr. Honing, der ramte overskrifterne for nylig, da nye reglamenter desværre forhindrede ham i at tale middelengelsk, mens han overviste sin meget frygtede ”Chaucer-læseplan” (kilde, mit go-to lokale nyhedswebsted,  Onion News).


Studenter på den lokale højskole (”Pates Grammar School”)  fortalte byens journalister, hvor glade de var for, at en standardiseret læseplan var blevet indført, hvilket ville betyde, at de fremover kunne undvige muligheder for rollespiløvelser eller for specielt inviterede gæsttalere: og for andre ”overraskelser”, som deres ekcentriske engelsklærer kunne have planlagt for dem.

"Jeg er bare lettet over, at Mr. [Aaron] Honing bare er nødt til at forberede os på testen og ikke kan gøre noget som at recitere et originalt digt højt og bagefter opfordre os til at udtrykke os selv gennem poesi også", sagde den 16-årige Peter Macpherson og tilføjede, at hvis det ikke var nationalt etablerede præstationsnormer, ville hans lærer sandsynligvis føle sig fri til at engagere sig i alle former for kreative aktiviteter, såsom at arrangere en klassetur til et kolonialt stuehus under deres læsning af The Scarlet Letter eller komme ind i klasse klædt som Mark Twain.

"Gudskelov, vi skal alle tager en enkelt, landdækkende eksamen i slutningen af året, så der er ingen måde, han vil spilde klassetiden med inspirerende taler, der opfordrer os til at udmærke os som unikke individer."

Eleverne bekræftede at de var glade for at lære udenad på remse så mange fakta som nødvendigt snarere end at lytte til hr. Honing tale i middelengelsk for hele deres Chaucer-læseplan.

Hvor fornuftigt! Og noget man kan mindes om, når vi hører mennesker kritisere nutidens ungdom, ingen tvivl om det! The kids are all right!

11:00 Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen, og bagefter går jeg i gang med at sortere de bunker af uønskede bøger, vi har samlet i de seneste 2-3 uger i vores voksne døtres gamle værelser. Først putter jeg i plastikposer de bøger vi kan smide ud til genbrug: bøger, som ingen ville interessere sig for, og bøger, der er for slidte til at blive videregivet. Det hele er en del af vores nuværende downsise-miniprojekt.

Så sætter jeg i andre poser de bøger vi kan donere til en eller anden velgørenhedsbutik, i sær Røde Kors-butikken, der har et ry for at sælge intellektuelle bøger, lærebøger, klassisk litteratur, og lignende.

12:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 13:30 og tager bussen ind i byen. I mellemtiden går Lois rundt om hjørnet til det lokale bibliotek for at hjælpe bibliotekets personale med at styre den ugentlige ”Baby Bounce & Rhyme”-sessionen for meget unge børn og deres mødre.

Jeg står af bussen ved busstoppestedet foran Marks & Spencers stormagasinet, og går hen rundt om hjørnet til Everyman-teatret. Jeg sætter mig i teatrets café og venter på, at de andre medlemmer dukker op.

14:30 Mødet starter på teatrets bar. Gruppemedlemmerne skiftes til at læse 20-30 linjer af prologen og oversætte dem til moderne engelsk.

I prologen skriver forfatteren en beretning af sit første møde med de 20+ pilgrimme, han ender med at rejse til Canterbury sammen med, herunder (i disse første 164 linjer) ridderen, væbneren, tjeneren og priorinden.

Vi fokuserer på priorinden, der ikke synes ret religiøs, for at sige mildt. Hun hedder Madame Eglantine, og forfatteren beskriver hendes upåklagelige bordskik og blødsødenhed over for dyr, som hun virker at foretrække til mennesker.


Hendes portræt antyder, at hun er sandsynligt i det religiøse liv som et middel til social fremgang, i betragtning af hendes aristokratiske manerer og forvrængede franske udtale. Hun opretholder en sekulær livsstil, herunder at holde skødehunde, som hun giver privilegier til over mennesker.

Hun har en dekorativ rosenkrans og broche, indskrevet med "Amor vincit omnia" (Love Conquers All)  - men er det religiøs kærlighed eller sekulær, som hun prioritiserer? Forfatteren gør umage for at beskrive hendes ansigt – en køn næse, en smuk pande, og bløde, røde læber.  Og hun virker at være en koket, også  frodig kvinde (”not undergrown” i Chaucers ord), snarere, end en mager fotomodel. Hun lyder pragtfuld, ingen tvivl om det!

Gruppemedlemmer er meget overfladiske, for at sige mildt, og vi snakker om Hollywood-stjernerne vi villle have til at spille de forskellige roller i en film om fortællingerne. En eller anden medlem foreslår Angelina Jolie, eller Judi Dench ville være et godt valg, når det kommer til priorinden. Jeg gør lidt forskning på min smartphone, og jeg ser, at det var faktisk Charlotte Kell, der spillede rollen i Pasolinis filmversion (1972). For øvrigt var hun barnebarn af Vernon George Waldergrave Kell, der grundlagde MI5, en del af Storbritanniens efterretningstjeneste. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!



Pasolinis filmversion af ”Canterbury-fortællingerne” (1972)

16:15 Mødet slutter og jeg tager bussen hjem igen. Jeg føler mig helt slået ud, for at sige mildt. Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te og et stykke kage.

18:15 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at lytte til radio og se lidt fjernsyn.

Vi tænder for radioen og lytter til den 2. halvdel af et interessant program, der består af den Melbourne fødte 85-årige eks-komiker Barry Humphries’ udvalg af glemte populærsangklassikere fra det 20. århundredes første halvdel.


Barry er endnu ældre om mig, på 85 år – jeg er bare en unger, på 72 år, selvom jeg fyldte 73 for 10 dage siden), så derfor er det sikkert at sige, at han er blevet til lidt af en gammel krage. Men gamle krager har meget at lære os yngre gamle krager om livet, og Barry er ingen undtagelse.

Han starter ved at minde om  hans ungdom i Melbourne. Han betragtede Australien dengang  som en meget kedeligt land – og han troede, at de eneste steder, hvor der skete begejstrende ting, var det vidunderlige sted, man kaldte ”udlandet”. 

Men da han fortalte sin tante Elsie, at han havde besluttet sig for at flytte til England, svarede hun, ”Hvorfor for fanden flytter du til England? Det er det sted, alle de straffefanger kommer fra!”. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Barry fortæller os, at byen Melbourne blev faktisk opkaldet efter en af dronning Victorias yndlings-premierministrer, William Lamb, 2. viscount Melbourne. Melbournes kone, Lady Caroline, havde en offentlig affære med Lord Byron, og det var hun, som karaktiserede Byron som "mad, bad and dangerous to know".  

Lady Caroline Lamb og Lord Byron, hendes elsker

Den resulterende skandale ramte alle de avisoverskrifterne i 1812 . Lady Caroline udgav en gotisk roman, Glenarvon, i 1816; dette skildrede både sit ægteskab og sin affære med Byron på en fræk og eksplicit måde, hvilket voldede endnu større pinliggørelse til sin mand. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!

Blandt de mange behagelige australske sange i aftenens program hører vi Spooky Men’s Chorale, med deres ikoniske ”Don’t Stand Between a Man and his Tool”, en hyldest til elværktøjer, en ejendommeligt obsession af australske mænd, for at sige mildt.

Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
Tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool, tool,
When I wake up in the morning, I don’t make a sound,
I tiptoe to the toolshed, and take a look around,
There they are, all hanging, in order of their sise,
Like water to a thirsty soul, a feast for hungry eyes,
I love the way they whisper, I love the way they roar,
I love the way you can use them, in and out of doors…

The Spooky Men

Vi hører Harold Blair, en indfødt operatisk tenor (og aktivist), synge ”How Great Thou Art”. Humphries som ung mand engang påtrådte sammen med i Blair i et teaterstykke, Steinbecks ”Mus og mænd” i Melbourne.

Harold Blair

Humphries, i løbet af sit lange liv, har påtrådt i talrige film, teaterstykker og tv-programmer, men hans karriere på scenen startede fra ydmyige begyndelser selvfølgelig. Hans første oplevelser på scenen var som et medlem af Melbourne Theatre Company.

Blair havde talrige linjer i stykket, men det havde Humphries desværre ikke – han havde en meget lille rolle: som en hund, som hørtes i kulissen. På ét afgørende tidspunkt i løbet af forestillingen, skulle han gø, hvilket han gjorde, hver aften.

Humphries’ rolle som en usynlig hund var desværre hans sidste i teatetrupen: han havde bemærket, at trupens leder har været i gang med at forkorte mere og mere Humphries’ roller, og dette bragte bageret til at flyde over, formoder jeg.

Stakkels Barry !!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng. Jeg læser ca 30 sider af min sengetidbog, Ben Eltons ”To brødre” (danske version), før jeg glider over i søvnen. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!


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