09:30 Lois and I go out into the
backyard and do a little weeding - me in the so-called south-east vegetable
garden, and Lois between the fruit bushes. We have a deadline - the weather
girl has said that the mini-heat wave is coming to an end,
and it is going to rain, starting about 12 o'clock noon, or thereabouts.
I work well today. After an hour
and a half, there is a 30 square foot piece of land that is now 100% free of
weeds - huzzah!
I am trying now to think of the garden not so much as a nightmare giant task that never gets finished, and more in terms of the garden being like a kind of mini-gym for old crows (or "gym crows" as we call ourselves), which they can spend an hour or so on per day, and which stops them spending the whole day sitting down. This helps me to feel more positive about gardening.
I am trying now to think of the garden not so much as a nightmare giant task that never gets finished, and more in terms of the garden being like a kind of mini-gym for old crows (or "gym crows" as we call ourselves), which they can spend an hour or so on per day, and which stops them spending the whole day sitting down. This helps me to feel more positive about gardening.
We go back in the house and
recharge our batteries with a cup of tea and a biscuit on the sofa. We are
tired and have aching joints - damn!
Afterwards we drive into the
village. I swing by the convenience store (the former Bakery Stores) to buy
fruit and vegetables, while Lois pops into the local pharmacy to pick up her
statins - she unfortunately suffers from a slightly elevated cholesterol count.
12:30 We have lunch and
afterwards we go out into the garage and take out the two big black bags of
soft toys dating from our 2 daughters' childhoods. On Friday morning I dragged
7-8 bags of old soft toys down the loft ladder and put them in the garage, so that
our elder daughter Alison and her 3 children - Josie (12), Rosalind (10) and
Isaac (8) - could look through them and decide if they would like to take some
of them home to Haslemere, Surrey.
flashback to last Friday: Lois, Alison
and Alison's 3 children look through
the 7 or 8 big black bags soft toys I
had dragged down from the attic.
I was totally surprised that the
children were actually so eager to take most of our old soft toys home to Haslemere
with them.
Today, however, Lois and I have to deal with the remaining 2 bags, containing the toys the children did not want.
Poor toys!!!!!!
The first bag, containing very worn or
damaged toys, I throw in the trash can immediately. The second bag however contains
toys that now have to be washed in the washing machine, and after that it’s
possible we’ll be able to donate them to some charity shop.
14:00 I go to bed and take a
gigantic afternoon nap. Meanwhile, Lois looks through the remaining soft toys,
and chucks some in the washing machine.
The toys now get to enjoy
themselves for once, swirling around together in the washing machine's hot soapy water,
while Lois sits on the sofa and sees even more old episodes of the sitcom "It
Ain't Half Hot Mum", first aired by the BBC in the 1970’s and now
considered "politically incorrect".
The episodes were set in the very last days of British rule in India in the late 1940’s. The leading Indian character was played by a (Caucasian) Brit who “browned up” for the part – my god, what madness!
The episodes were set in the very last days of British rule in India in the late 1940’s. The leading Indian character was played by a (Caucasian) Brit who “browned up” for the part – my god, what madness!
Lois sits on the sofa with some of the
old soft toys that date
from our 2 daughters’ childhood, while
she watches even more episodes of
"It Ain't Half Hot Mum", a
now politically incorrect BBC sitcom from the 1970's
a typical scene from "It Ain't
Half Hot Mum", where the leading Indian character
was played by a Caucasian Brit (Michael
Bates) who “browned up” for the role
- my god, what madness !!!!
16:00 I get up. Lois has found 2
of the mini-Easter eggs that we hid in the utility room as part of the Easter
egg hunt we organised last weekend for
Alison's three children. Hoorah - and yum yum !!
I take a little look at my
smartphone. I browse some Danish news sites (ekstrabladet.dk), and I get a bit of a shock, to put
it mildly.
This particular story came out of
a recent episode of the Danish reality show “Ex on the Beach”, where
participants are confronted by surprise
appearances of an ‘ex’ or two from their past.
Fie Laursen, a well-known Danish
reality star "babe", was absolutely certain that she had seen Nicklas, the handsome
football-guy somewhere before.
When Nicklas came out of the water and started walking
towards Fie and the other participants, we hear Fie blurt out to her companions, “Can
I have fucked someone I can't remember?” Then she addresses Nicklas directly, with "How come I recognise
you?". Nicklas has his answer ready right away. "Because we've
fucked”, he says with a smile.
Nicklas, one of her exes, comes up out of the
water, to Fie's surprise and confusion.
But she can't quite place him.
the couple embrace, but it's somewhat
hesitant on Fie’s part
.
Fie says she is almost certain that
she knows who Nicklas is. "I kind of know
who he is, I can see all his Instagram profile in front of me, but I'm like ‘why
can't I remember fucking him?’.
Nicklas revealed in his
presentation video for "Ex on the Beach" that he and Fie had once had
something going on between them, and that that was why he was going to be in
the programme. A ‘something’ that Fie apparently can't quite remember, when she
first sees the 22-year-old footballer.
But I sympathise with Fie, I have
to say. I constantly meet people who I half recognise in one way or another,
but who I do not have the faintest idea of where I have seen them before. In
my case, however, it is obviously not me wondering if I have had sex with them,
but just other everyday things - eg. was
he/she a former work colleague, and that kind of thing.
I call these occasions my
"senior moments", so I suppose that when Fie can't remember whether
she's fucked someone, she could call it a "junior moment", maybe, but
is that the right expression? It’s something I'm not 100% sure about for now -
the jury is still out on that one.
My goodness, what a crazy world
we live in !!!!
18:00 We have dinner and watch
some television. The latest episode of "First Dates" is on.
This show is mine and Lois's
favourite dating show, where participants go on a date and eat at a special
restaurant with a potential partner that Channel Four has chosen for them.
The programme has a serious
purpose to a certain extent, i.e. to find possible compatible life partners for
the participants. It's much better than the version that plays out in a hotel
in Italy, where participants spend the days sitting around the hotel swimming
pool in next to nothing and then go to bed with their potential partners as
soon as the "date" is over.
And it is much much better than
the show's "celebrity version", where we see B-list and reality show
celebrities taking part just to get more publicity and to stay in the public
eye.
heartwarming vignette: the soft toys that have
been washed in the washing machine
dry themselves off and
"sunbathe" in front of the gas fire, while a "First Dates" babe
on the TV screen sends them a "kissie-mouth",
as the Danes say.
Tonight, 3 of the 4 dates go very
badly and there is no prospect of further dates in the future – my god!
And Lois and I notice, and not for
the first time, that although the couples are well-matched when it comes to
age, the women are mostly much more mature than the men: sometimes almost as
if the woman and the man are from different generations - yikes!
Jack and Safina: Safina is an
intelligent woman with a very
interesting lifestyle: she is a cabaret artist, also a circus performer in her
spare time - including fire-eating, stilt-walking and suchlike. But we hear almost nothing about
her, because Jack just talks about Jack, and nothing else – good grief!
Jack says he's "a bad
boy," but he wants a woman who doesn't tell him off or bawl him out. Well,
you’re just a pain in the arse, Jack!
Sally and Andy: Sally was tragically widowed in 2004. She and
her husband were on holiday Christmas 2004 in Thailand at a hotel next to the
beach. The couple had spent an idyllic Christmas Day, but the following day the
famous tsunami hit the area. Sally was rescued by a local Thai stranger, but
unfortunately her husband was engulfed by the massive wave.
However, she says that because of
her terrible experience, she is now so very much more aware of how short life
is, and the fact that it can disappear within a few seconds. And she thinks, “If
I'm here, I'm going to make sure I'm bloody happy!”.
Lois and I agree that Sally has
the right attitude - most of us never experience a real tragedy, and we allow
life to slip through our fingers and postpone a lot of things because we
imagine we have plenty of time.
“Carpe diem” and enjoy the day!
What a good sentiment to go to bed on.
22:00 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz !!!!
Danish translation
09:30 Lois og jeg går ud i baghaven og luger lidt – mig i den såkaldte
syd-østlige grøntsagshave, og Lois mellem frugtbuskene. Vi har en frist –
vejrpigen har sagt, at de seneste 4-5 dages mini-hedebølge er ved at blive
slut, og det kommer til at regne startende ved 12-tiden, eller deromkring. Jeg arbejder godt i dag. Efter en halvanden
time, er der en 30 kvadratfødder stykke jord, der nu er 100% fri for ukrudt –
hurra!
Vi kommer ind i huset og genoplader vores batterier med en kop te og en
kiks i sofaen. Vi er trætte og har ondt i ledene – pokkers! Bagefter kører vi
ind i landsbyen. Jeg smutter ind i nærbutikken (den tidligere Bakery Stores)
for at købe frugt og grøntsager, mens Lois kigger ind i det lokale apotek for
at hente sine statiner – hun lider desværre af et lidt forhøjtet kolestoroltal.
12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går vi ud i garagen og henter
de to store sort sække propfyldte med bløde legetøj, der daterer fra vores 2
døtres barndom. I søndag formiddag slæbte jeg 7-8 sækker af gamle bløde legetøj
ned ad loftstigen og satte dem i garagen, så vores ældste datter Alison og
hendes 3 børn -- Josie (12), Rosalind (10) og Isaac (8) - kunne kigge dem
igennem og beslutter, om de gerne ville få nogle af dem med hjem til Haslemere,
Surrey.
tilbageblik til sidste fredag:
Lois, Alison og Alisons 3 børn kigger igennem
de 7-8 store sorte sække bløde
legetøj, jeg havde slæbt ned fra loftet.
Jeg var helt overrasket, at børnene faktisk var så opsatte på, at få
størstedelen af de bløde legetøj med hjem. Men nu skal de resterende 2 sække behandles
på én eller anden måde.
Den ene sæk, der indeholder meget slidte eller beskadigede legetøj
smider jeg omgående i affaldsspandet; den 2. sæk indeholder legetøj, som skal
vaskes i vaskemaskinen, og derefter kan vi måske donere dem til en eller anden
velgørenhedsbutik.
14:00 Jeg går i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. I
mellemtiden kigger Lois de bløde legetøj igennem og smider nogle i
vaskemaskinen.
Legetøjene hygger sig meget sammen i vaskemaskinens varme sæbevand, mens
Lois sidder i sofaen og ser endnu flere gamle afsnit af ”It Ain’t Half Hot Mum”-sitcommen,
der først blev sendt af BBC-kanalen i 1970’erne, og som nu er betragtet som
”politisk ukorrekt” – afsnittene spillede sig ud i de allersidste dage af den
britiske herredømme i Indien sidst i 1940’erne. Den førende indiske karakter
blev spillet af en brit der sminkede sig brun - du godeste, sikke et vanvid!
Lois sidder
i sofaen med nogle af de gamle bløde legetøj, der daterer
fra vores 2
døtres barndom, mens hun ser endnu flere afsnit af ”It Ain’t Half Hot Mum”,
en nu politisk
ukorrekt BBC-sitcom fra 1970’erne
en typisk
scene fra ”It Ain’t Half Hot Mum”, hvor den førende indiske karakter
blev spillet
af en brit (Michael Bates) der sminkede sig brun til rollen
– du
godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!
16:00 Jeg står op. Lois har fundet 2 af de mini-påskeæg, som vi skjulte
i bryggerset som en del af den påskeægjagt, vi sidste weekend organiserede for
Alisons tre børn. Hurra – og yum yum!!
Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone. Jeg blader igennem nogle danske
nyhedswebsteder, og jeg får lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt.
Fie Laursen,
en kendt dansk realitystjerne, var helt sikker på, at hun havde set den flotte
fodboldfyr, der indtog stranden i den nyeste episode af 'Ex on the beach'. Da
Nicklas kommer op fra vandet og går hen mod pigerne udbryder Fie til den unge
mand med vaskebrættet. Har jeg knaldet en eller anden, jeg ikke kan huske?” spørger
hun de andre, inden hun henvender sig direkte til den nye deltager. ”Hvorfor er
det, at jeg kan genkende dig?”, lyder det.
Nicklas kommer op fra vandet til Fies overraskelse og forvirring
Og Nicklas har
da også et svar klar med det samme. ”Fordi vi har knaldet sammen, siger han med
et smil.
parret omfavner lidt tøvende - det er
kun Nicklas, der husker Fie,
og
ikke omvendt.
Fie er næsten sikker på, at hun ved, hvem der er tale om. ”Jeg ved, hvem han er, jeg kan se hele hans Instagramprofil for mig, men jeg er bare sådan 'hvorfor kan jeg ikke huske, om jeg har knaldet ham, eller hvad jeg har lavet med ham'.
Nicklas fortalte
i sin præsentationsvideo til ”Ex on the Beach”, at han har haft noget kørende
med Fie Laursen, og at det er derfor, han er med i programmet. Noget, som Fie
åbenbart ikke helt kan huske ved første øjekast på den 22-årige fodboldfyr.
Men jeg sympatiserer
med Fie – det må jeg nok sige. Jeg møder konstant mennesker, som jeg halvt genkender
på en eller anden måde, men som jeg ikke har den fjerneste anelse om, hvor jeg
har set dem før. Det er imidlertid slet ikke tilfældet, at jeg begynder at
undre mig, om jeg har knaldet med dem, men bare andre ting – fx. var han/hun en
tidligere arbejdskollega, og den slags.
Jeg kalder
disse tidspunkter mine ”seniore øjeblikke”, så jeg formoder, at når Fie ikke
kan huske, om hun har knaldet med en eller anden, kunne hun kalde det et ”juniorøjeblik”,
måske men det er jeg ikke helt sikker på – juryen er stadig ude om det.
Du godeste,
sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!
18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser den seneste
episode af ”First Dates”.
Dette show er
Lois’ og min yndlings-datingshow, hvor deltagere går ud på en date og spiser på
en special restaurant med en potentiel partner, som tv-kanalen har valgt til
dem.
Programmet har
i en vis grad et seriøst formål, dvs at finde mulige kompatible livspartnere
til deltagerne. Det er meget bedre, end versionen, der spiller sig ud i et
hotel i Italien, hvor deltagere bruger dagene på at sidde omkring hotellets
swimmingpool i næsten ingenting, og går i seng med deres potentielle partnere,
så snart aftenen er forbi.
Og det er meget
meget bedre, end showets ”kendis-version”, hvor vi ser B-liste og reality
show-kendisser deltager med det formål at få publicitet og at forblive i det
offentlige øje.
hjertevarmende:
de bløde legetøj, der er blevet vasket i vaskemaskinen
tørrer sig
af og ”solbader”, mens en ”First Dates”-babe på tv-skærmen
sender dem
en ”kyssemund”
I aften går 3 af de 4 dates
meget dårligt, og der er ikke nogen udsigt til yderligere dates i fremtiden –
du godeste!
Og Lois og jeg bemærker, og
ikke for første gang, at selvom parrene er godt matchede, når det kommer til
alderen, er kvinderne for det meste meget mere modne, end mændene: nogle gange
næsten som om, kvinden og manden er fra anderledes generationer – yikes!
Jack og Safina: Safina er en
kvinde med en meget interessant livstil: hun er kabaretkunstner, også
circusartist i sin fritid – herunder ildsluger, styltegænger og den slags. Men
vi hører ikke noget om hende, fordi Jack bare taler om Jack, og ikke noget
andet.
Jack siger, han er ”en slem
dreng”, men han vil have en kvinde, der ikke revser ham, eller skælder ham ud.
Sally og Andy: Sally blev
tragisk gjort til enke i 2004. Hun og hendes mand var på ferie i juletiden 2004
i Thailand på et hotel ved siden af stranden. Parret havde tilbragt en idyllisk
juledag, men den følgende dag ramte den berømte tsunami området. Hun blev
reddet af en fremmed, men hendes mand døde desværre.
Hun siger imidlertid, at hun
på grund af sin forfærdelige oplevelse nu er meget meget klar over, hvor kort
livet er, og dét, at den kan forsvinde i løbet af et par sekunder. Og hun tænker,
hvis jeg er her, skal jeg sørge for, at jeg er fucking lykkelig.
Carpe diem, og nyd, brug
dagen! Sikke et godt synspunkt, at gå i seng på.
22:00 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!
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