Danskcolin: Thursday, April 25 2019

10:00 Every other Thursday is always busy busy at our house. Lois and I start clearing up and vacuuming the whole house because our U3A Danish group's regular meeting is taking place here this afternoon at 2:30 pm. I also move a couple of extra chairs from the dining room into the living room.

11:45 My cousin John from Witney calls us with some sad news - his mother, my Aunty Bobby, unfortunately died in the night. She was not ill, but she was in her 90’s, not very mobile, and had lived in a nursing home for several years. Lois and I saw her in October last year, but we had also agreed with John that we would visit her again at her nursing home on May 20th, which is ironic and very sad. John says he will tell us in due course when the funeral is going to be taking place.

In a way, it's the end of an era. John's father (Bob) and my mother (Hannah) were two of a total of 9 siblings who were born and raised in the small Welsh town of Bridgend in the first 30 years of the last century.

Bobby, as Bob's wife, was the last survivor of this generation of the 9 siblings and their partners. The Evans family's hard life in the poverty of the 1920’s in South Wales and economic depression of the 1930’s, combined with their hyperactive, tempestuous and joyful family life together, and all their bitter-sweet memories, now live on only in the hearts and minds of my generation of 21 surviving cousins - yikes!

Flashback to approx. 1930: the Evans family in Bridgend before moving to England

and relatively prosperity. John's father, "handsome Bob," is in the foreground with his arms

around the twins, Joan and Babs. My mother's face is half hidden by one of the twins.

The parents, Gladys and Sidney, are standing on the right

Flashback to the 1960's: "handsome Bob," John's father, stands on the right

looking nonchalant, with his hands in his pockets. Bobby, Bob's wife,

is 3rd from left, and the young John himself is 5^th from left.

12:00 Coincidentally, my cousin Kathleen's husband, Martyn, has sent me an email about the Evans family history and suchlike. And he asks me to check a few dates in the genealogical information about my grandmother (also Kathleen’s grandmother), Gladys.

Martyn says that Gladys gave birth to her first child, a son (John), two months before she married our grandfather Sidney (dates being August 1906 and October 1906, respectively). Of course, people today are stunningly indifferent to whether parents are married or not, but it was a completely different story in 1906 - no doubt about that.

Martyn also says that according to Kathleen's mother, Gladys was actually disowned by her family because she had eloped with Sidney, who was only a lowly "grocer’s boy”.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

It was also frequently commented on within the family, according to my mother, that Sidney had several brothers, all of whom “made something of themselves”, and had successful careers; apart, that is, from Sidney himself, who was only successful in one area: fathering children - he and Gladys had nine of them, as we know - yikes!

Sidney's brothers, however, were not very good at having children at all. Most of them ended up childless, which was a bit of a shame.

And it cannot be denied that without Sidney's talents in the bedroom, I myself would never have come into existence, so that’s something I definitely have to thank him for - yikes!

12:30 Lois and I have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. I get up at 2 pm and prepare for our Danish group's meeting.

14:30 Our group members call at the door and we study Danish for an hour and a half. But I’m afraid we also do a lot of chatting about this and that, even more so than usual, and so we end up just reading 3 more pages of our crime novel, Anna Grue’s "The Further You Fall", which is rather pathetic of us to put it mildly. But we have a lot of fun together, I have to say.

We discuss in particular the many slightly gloomy and dark Nordic films and TV shows we have seen. Lois and I remind the group about our favourite Icelandic film, "Rams", all about two brothers who had had an argument 15-20 years previously and who had not spoken one word to each other ever since. They both owned sheep farms next to each other. One liked drinking alcohol, while the other was teetotal.

One night, the teetotaller came across his brother, lying in the field next to his farm unconscious after a massive drunken binge. He simply picked his unconscious brother up with his forklift, drove him into town, and dumped him at the entrance to the local hospital. What madness!!! But my goodness, we liked his style - no doubt about that. What a man !!!!

a typical scene from "Rams", the gloomy Icelandic film.

"The sheep are the real stars of the film," Lois and I always say.

Good grief!!!!

16:00 The meeting ends, but the members continue to stay and chat for another 30 minutes – my god, what madness. Finally, they leave, and Lois and I relax with a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit on the sofa. We are exhausted, as always, after a "Danish" day, where we cleared up in the morning and led our group meeting in the afternoon. My god, we are growing old - no doubt about that.

17:00 I take a little look at my smartphone and browse through some Danish news sites (ekstrabladet.dk), and I get a bit of a shock, to put it mildly.

Last week, 22-year-old Tabita Thinggaard from Randers, Denmark, checked into the Danish tv-reality programme "Ex on the beach", where drinking, sex and lies are on the menu every day.

Just three years ago, the picture was quite different for Tabita. Back then, she was married and a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Problems in the marriage at the time made her move to college and start training to be an auto mechanic. It was then she decided she would leave the Jehovah's Witnesses.

22-year-old Tabita, a former Jehovah's Witness,

now a sexy tv reality star: yikes!

"I didn't feel like I'd ever be happy if I stayed in the religion," she said. And she explained a little bit more about the day she made the decision to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses and the sin she said she had to commit in order to be excluded from the religion.

"One day I was standing by a lake, thinking, " What am I really involved in here? It was as if it suddenly dawned on me that life was much bigger than one religion,” she says.

But in order to break out of the Jehovah's Witnesses, she would have to commit a sin, she adds. That’s why she had to be unfaithful to her then husband. "I had to have sex with someone other than my husband," says Tabita. There was no other choice according to her.

My god - what madness! And what a dramatic change, from being a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses to taking part in the sexy Danish tv-reality show "Ex on the Beach".

But was it really true that she "had no other choice" than to commit adultery with another man in order to leave the sect? It seems unlikely, although it makes a good headline, that's for sure. Maybe she just saw a man she felt like going to bed with, and this is her rationalisation. But that’s something I'm not 100% sure about - the jury is still out on that one.

I must ask Lois to ask her Jehovah's Witness friend who calls at our door every Thursday morning (including this morning) i.e. just when we are so busy with other things, getting ready for our Danish group's meeting. If it is me who answers the door, I always make sure to have the vacuum cleaner in my hand, to give the woman a hint of my busy agenda ha ha!

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

18:00 Lois and I have dinner and watch some television, the latest episode of the 12th (and last) season of the Big Bang Theory sitcom. After tonight there will be only 5 episodes left – sob sob !!!!

BBListing

A fun episode. Howard buys a scooter on the quiet, but Bernadette, his wife, finds out, and forces Howard to sell it - Bert, the university's tedious geologist, buys it off him.

Howard tells Bernadette that the price he got was $ 750, but unfortunately Bernadette already knew that the price was actually $ 800, so Howard has no choice but to dig out the extra $ 50 and hand it over to her. Poor Howard !!!!!

It's nice to see Bert again, the boring geologist, perhaps for the last time in the sitcom, because there are only 5 episodes left. And heartwarming also to hear that after many disappointments he has finally managed to get a girlfriend.

Lois and I will always remember Bert with great affection.

Flashback to a previous episode: Bert (left) in sadder times - his "party",

where only two guests, Amy and Penny, showed up.

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

10:00 Hver anden torsdag er altid travlt travlt travlt hos os. Lois og jeg går i gang med at rydde op og støvsuge hele huset, fordi vores U3A danske gruppes regelmæssige møde finder sted hos os i eftermiddag kl 14:30. Jeg rykker 2 ekstra stole fra spisestuen ind i dagligstuen.

11:45 Min fætter John fra Witney ringer til os med en trist nyhed - sin mor, min Tante Bobby, døde desværre i nat. Hun var ikke syg, men hun var i 90’erne, ikke særlig mobil, og havde boet i et plejehjem i flere år. Lois og jeg så hende for sidste gang oktober i fjor, men vi havde aftalt med John at vi ville besøge hende på hendes plejehjem den 20. maj, hvilket er ironisk, og meget trist. Han vil fortælle os i tidens fylde, hvornår begravelsen finder sted.

På en måde er det enden på en æra. Johns far og min mor var to af sammenlagt 9 søskende, der var født og voksede op i den lille walesiske by Bridgend i det 20. århundredes første 30 år.

Bobby, som Johns far Bobs kone, var den sidste overlevende af denne generation af de 9 søskende og deres partnere. Evans-familiens hårde liv i 1920’ernes fattigdom i Syd-Wales og 1930’ernes økonomiske depression, kombineret med deres hyperaktive, stormende og jublende familieliv sammen, og alle deres bitre-søde minder lever nu kun i hjerterne og sindene af min generation af 21 overlevende fætre og kusiner - yikes!

Tilbageblik til ca. 1930: Evans-familien i Bridgend, før de flyttede til England

og forholdsvis velstand. Johns far, ”den smukke Bob”, i forgrunden med sine arme

om tvillingerne, Joan og Babs. Min mors ansigt er halvt skjult af en af tvillingerne.

Deres forældre, Gladys og Sidney står til højre

Tilbageblik til 1960’erne: ”den smukke Bob”, Johns far, står til højre med hænderne i lommen.

Bobby, Bobs kone, er nr 3 fra venstre, og selve John nr. 5 fra venstre.

12:00 Min kusine Kathleens mand, Martyn, har sendt mig en email om min og Kathleens familiehistorie og den slags. Og han spørger mig at tjekke et par datoer i min genealogiske oplysninger om min mormor. Han siger, at min og Kathleens mormor, fødte sit første barn, en søn (John) to måneder før hun giftede sig til vores farmor (henholdsvis august 1906 og oktober 1906). Selvfølgelig er folk i dag bedøvende ligeglade med, om forældre er gifte eller ej, men det var helt anderledes i 1906 – ingen tvivl om det.

Han siger også, at ifølge Kathleens mor blev Gladys faktisk forstødt af sin familie, fordi hun løb bort med sin elsker, den lokale købmands bud, Sidney.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Det blev også sagt indenfor familien, ifølge min mor, at Sidney, hendes far havde flere brødre, som alle blev til noget og havde succesfulde karrierer, bortset fra selve Sidney, der kun havde succes i ét område: at få børn: han og Gladys fik sammenlagt 9 – yikes!

Derimod var Sidneys brødre overhovedet ikke særlig succesfuld i at få børn. De fleste af dem endte ud med at være barnløs, hvilket var lidt af en skam.

Og det kan ikke nægtes, at uden Sidneys talenter i soveværelset, ville jeg ikke være kommet til at eksistere, hvilket er noget, jeg må takke ham for - yikes!

12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 14 og forberede mig på vores danske gruppes møde.

14:30 Vores gruppemedlemmer ringer på døren, og vi studerer dansk i en halvanden time. Men vi snakker også om dette og hint, endnu mere, end normalt, og dermed når vi bare at læse 3 flere sider af vores krimiroman, Anna Grues ”Dybt at falde”, hvilket er lidt elendigt for at sige mildt. Men vi har det meget sjovt sammen, det må jeg nok sige.

Vi snakker især om de mange lidt dystre og mørke nordiske film og tv-serier vi har set. Lois og jeg minder gruppen af vores islandske yndlingsfilm, ”Rams”, der handler om to brødre, der skændtes 15-20 år tidligere og siden da ikke havde talt ét ord med hinanden. De var begge to ejede fårefarme ved siden af hinanden. Den ene kunne godt lide at drikke alkohol, mends den anden var afholdsmenneske.

En nat, det afholdsmenneske stødte på sin bror, der lå på marken ved siden af hans gård helt ubevidstløs efter at være gået på druk. Han opsamlede simpelthen sin ubevidste bror ved hjælp af sin gaffeltruck, kørte ham ind i byen, og dumpede ham ved indgangen af det lokale sygehus. Du godeste, vi kunne godt lide hans stil – ingen tvivl om det. Sikke en mand!!!!

en typisk scene fra ”Rams”, den islandske film.

”Fårene er filmens reelle stjerner”, siger Lois og jeg. Du godeste!!!!

16:00 Mødet slutter, men medlemmerne fortsætter med at snakke endnu 30 minutter – du godeste, sikke et vanvid. Endelig tager de af sted, og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te og en chokoladekiks i sofaen. Vi er udmattede, som altid, efter en ”dansk” dag, hvor vi ryddede op om formiddagen og leder vores gruppemøde om eftermidagen. Du godeste, vi bliver gamle – ingen tvivl om det.

17:00 Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone og blader igennem nogle danske nyhedswebsteder (ekstrabladet.dk), og jeg får lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt.

I sidste uge tjekkede 22-årige Tabita fra Randers ind i realityprogrammet ”Ex on the beach”, hvor druk, sex og løgne er på menuen hver dag.

den 22-årige Tabita, en tidligere Jehovas-vidne, nu

en tv reality-show stjerne: yikes!

For bare tre år siden var billedet et helt andet for Tabita. Dengang var hun gift og medlem af Jehovas Vidner. Problemer i ægteskabet gjorde dengang, at hun flyttede på kollegium og gik i gang med at uddanne sig til automekaniker. Her fandt hun ud af, at hun ville forlade Jehovas Vidner.

”Jeg følte ikke, at jeg nogensinde ville blive lykkelig, hvis jeg blev i religionen”, sagde hun. Og hun fortalte lidt nærmere om den dag, hun tog beslutningen om at forlade Jehovas Vidner, og hvilken synd hun måtte begå for at blive udstødt fra religionen.

”En dag stod jeg ved en sø, og tænkte ’Hvad har jeg egentligt gang i?’. Det var som om, at så gik det op for mig, at livet var meget større end én religion”, fortæller hun. Men for at for kunne bryde ud af Jehovas Vidner, skal man begå en synd. Derfor var hun nød til at være sin daværende mand utro. ”Jeg skulle have sex med en anden end min mand”, fortæller Tabita. Der var ikke noget andet valg, siger hun.

Du godeste – sikke en dramatisk forandring, fra at være medlem af Jehovas Vidner til at bliver deltager i reality-showet ”Ex on the Beach”.

Men var det virkelig sandt, at hun ”havde ikke noget andet valg”, end at blive sin mand utro med en anden, for at forlade sekten? Det synes usandsynligt, selvom det gør en god overskrift, ingen tvivl om det. Måske fik hun bare øje på en mand, hun havde lyst til at gå i seng med, men det er jeg ikke helt sikker på – juryen er stadig ude om det!

Jeg må bede Lois om at spørge hendes jehovas vidne-veninde, der ringer på vores dør hver torsdag formiddag (inklusive i morges), når vi har så travlt med andre ting på forberedelse på vores danske gruppes møde! Hvis det er mig, der besvarer døren, sørger jeg altid for at have støvsugeren i hånden, for at give en antydning af min travle dagsorden ha ha!

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og ser lidt fjernsyn,, det seneste afsnit af de 12. (og allersidste) sæson af Big Bang Theory-sitcommen. Efter i aften vil der være kun 5 afsnit tilbage – hulk hulk !!!!

Et morsomt afsnit. Howard køber en scooter i smug, men Bernadette, hans kone, finder ud af det, og tvinger Howard til at sælge den – Bert, universitets kedelige geolog, køber den af ham. Howard fortæller Bernadette, at prisen var $750, men desværre ved Bernadette allerede, at prisen faktisk var $800, og Howard har ikke noget andet valg, end at grave de ekstra $50 frem og række dem til hende. Stakkels Howard!!!!!

Det er rart at se Bert, den kedelige geolog, måske for sidste gang i sitcommen, fordi der nu kun er 5 afsnit tilbage. Og hjertevarmende også at høre at han efter mange skuffelser endelig har fået en kæreste.