Saturday, April 27 2019

09:00 I surf the web and browse through various Danish news sites. I get a bit of a shock, to put it mildly, when I see Morten Ingemann's latest cartoon strip (in ekstrabladet.dk).

The Danish artist Morten Ingemann, my favourite cartoonist

The Danish artist Morten Ingemann is my favourite cartoonist - no doubt about that. He is particularly interested in ugly, overweight, middle-aged or elderly people, the kind of people that most cartoonists rarely pay attention to.

In this morning's  strip, we see an ugly, very elderly woman talking to a ugly middle-aged grocer. The woman asks the grocer for a pound of coffee, to which the grocer replies "We say kilo nowadays". The woman answers, quite logically, "Then I’d like to buy a pound of kilo".

My goodness! You can call this woman stupid, but I sympathise a little with her. We old crows are having to master a lot of new concepts, ideas and words nowadays.

Lois and I tend to consult each other about  new words when we meet them for the first time. We recall that we recently discussed the word "cromulent" (adequate) that was apparently coined in the US animated sitcom "The Simpsons", and "omnishambles" (mega chaos), apparently coined in the British sitcom "The Thick of It", neither of which series we saw regularly.

"The Simpsons"

"The Thick of It"

I think Lois and I have now mastered the word "kilo" even though we’re not using yet – it pays to be cautious over these things. Fortunately, our local butcher, "Waghornes", allows us to ask for meat etc. in pounds, which is nice, even though by law they have to price it all in metric stuff. 

Our village is packed with old crows like Lois and me, all living in the past - yikes, what is to become of us!!!!

Waghorne's, our local butcher shop, on the High Street

10:00 This morning I happen to be up in the attic, aiming to start on the next phase of our downsizing mini-project (Phase 3, which will cover old unwanted CD's, music cassettes and gramophone records, etc.).

But unfortunately, when I am looking round in the attic, I discover by chance another 100 unwanted books (or so) that had previously been buried beneath stacks of unwanted board games and puzzles. Damn! Lois and I thought the attic was already free of unwanted books after our enormous efforts over the past 3-4 weeks as part of the so-called "Phase 1". 

Damn (again)!

We decide to postpone the so-called "music phase" (phase 3) of our mini-project. I have no other choice but to lug all these newly discovered unwanted books down the ladder, so that Lois can leaf through them, and decide whether to donate them to some charity shop, or to throw them out, or whatever.

Lois browses through some of the books I have lugged down from the attic

It turns out that many of these books are religious books belonging to Lois's late father, who was a lay preacher. We decide to donate these books to her sect’s headquarters in Birmingham.

There are also many other books that belonged to our 2 now grown-up daughters, Alison and Sarah, dating from their childhood, including school yearbooks from their primary school in the US (1982-85), and their high school in England (1986-1995 or so).

Flashback to school year 1992-93: Ali's last high school yearbook,

with her "plans" (not implemented !!!!);

also Ali's best friend, Nic, and her plans

Alison and Sarah's last school yearbook from our 3-year residence in the US

Sarah and her Grade 3 classmates (1984-5)

Alison and her classmates (1984-5)

Alison's Grade 4 class - Alison is in the back row, third from left

Happy times !!!!!

12:30 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. I get up at 3pm.

In the meantime, Lois has started to do some genealogical research on my behalf.

  

My cousin Kathleen's husband, Martyn, asked me yesterday to check the details of my grandmother Gladys and my grandfather Sidney's wedding date. His reason for asking me was, that our current family history information indicates the birth date of the couple's first child as August 1906, ie 2 months before the apparent wedding date (October 1906), which seems a bit scandalous in the light of the morally strict times they lived in, to put it mildly.

Fortunately, however, Lois has done some research today online, and she has discovered that the wedding date in our current family tree information is incorrect - the true date was one year earlier - August 1905. So the family honour is still intact, thank goodness ha ha ha.

flashback to the 1910’s: Sidney (right), my maternal grandfather, with John, his eldest son

But there is also a rumour among my mother's siblings that their parents, Sidney and Gladys, actually had to elope to get married, because of Gladys's family's disapproval of Sidney - he was “just” a “grocer’s boy”. So Lois has today ordered a copy of their marriage certificate from GRO (General Register Office) to see if any of Gladys' family were witnesses or not. It may be that they boycotted the ceremony. Fascinating!

18:00 We have dinner, and afterwards we continue to pursue our genealogical research, which becomes more and more annoying,  the more blind alleys we end up in: damn!

I start to feel like I hate family history - damn (again)!

21:30 We decide to postpone more research for another day. We want to relax a little and wind down a little before we go to bed. We see a little television, a recent episode of the funny American sitcom "Speechless", which is about an unusual family - Jimmy, a check-in-desk-guy working for some airline or other, plus his British wife Maya, and their 3 children, Dylan, Ray and the disabled JJ, and finally Kenneth, JJ's aide / carer.

"Speechless": (left to right) Ray, Dylan, Jimmy, Maya, JJ and Kenneth

In this evening’s episode  it's the first day of the new school year. After breakfast in the family kitchen, the nerd-ish Ray is eager to leave for school, now that for the first time he can brag about having a girlfriend, a girl who goes to a different school.

Maya, Ray's mother, however, doubts that his classmates will believe him anyway. It is a classic school lie, after all.

Fortunately, however, Ray and his girlfriend have produced a compelling video on his smartphone to remove his classmates' possible suspicions.

Maya is still sceptical, however, and I sympathise with her. After all in this day and age it's easy to pay actors to perform in short videos, designed to impress friends and classmates and the like.

Nevertheless, Lois and I have never had the motivation to test this approach out for real - so far at least. So when it comes to this question, the jury still out on it, to be strictly factual, I have to say. We’ll have to see!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

09:00 Jeg surfer rundt på nettet, og blader igennem forskellige danske nyhedswebsteder. Jeg får lidt af et chok, for at sige mildt, da jeg ser Morten Ingemanns seneste tegnestribe.

Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner

Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner  – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

I formiddagens tegnestribe, ser vi en grim ældgammel kvinde, der snakker med en grim midaldrende købmand. Kvinden beder købmanden om ét pund kaffe, men købmanden fortæller hende, at ”det hedder kilo i dag”. Kvinden svarer, helt logisk, ”Så vil jeg gerne købe ét pund kilo”.

Du godeste! Du kan kalde kvinden dum, men jeg sympatiserer lidt med hende. Vi gamle krager er nødt til at mestre en masse af nye koncepter, idéer og ord nu til dags.

Lois og jeg har tendens til at spørge hinanden om nye ord, vi møder for første gang. Vi mindes om, at vi for nylig diskuteret ordet ”cromulent” (tilstrækkelig), der tilsyneladende blev lavet i den amerikanske animeret sitcom The Simpsons, og ”omnishambles” (megakaos), der tilsyneladende blev lavet i den britiske sitcom ”The Thick of It”.

”The Simpsons”

“The Thick of It”

Jeg tror, vi nu har mestret ordet ”kilo”, selvom vi endnu ikke bruger det. Heldigvis tillader vores lokale slagteren, ”Waghornes”, os at bed om kød osv i pund, hvilket er rart. Landsbyen er propfyldte med gamle krager, ligesom Lois og mig, der lever i fortiden – yikes!

Waghorne’s, vores lokale slagterforretning, på Højgade.

10:00 I formiddag er jeg tilfældigvis oppe i loftet, med det formål at begynde på den næste fase af mit og Lois’ downsize mini-projekt (gamle uønskede CD’er, musikkassetter og grammafonplader osv.

Men desværre opdager jeg endnu 100 uønskede bøger (eller deromkring), der før i tiden var blevet begravet under bunkevis af uønskede brætspil og puslespil. Pokkers! Lois og jeg troede at loftet var fri for uønskede bøger efter vores store indsatser over de seneste 3-4 uger. Pokkers (igen)!

Vi beslutter, at udskyde den såkaldte ”musikfase” af vores mini-projekt. Jeg har ikke andet valt end at skal slæbe alle disse bøger ned ad loftstigen, så Lois kan blade dem igennem og beslutte, om vi skulle donere dem til en eller anden velgørenhedsbutik, eller smide dem ud osv.

Det viser sig, at mange af dem er religiøse bøger, der tilhørte Lois’  far, som var lægprædikant. Vi beslutter at donere disse bøger til hendes sekts hovedkontor i Birmingham.

Der er også mange andre bøger, der tilhørte vores 2 nu voksne døtre, Alison og Sarah, daterende fra deres barndom, herunder skoleårbøger fra deres folkeskole i USA (1982-85), og deres højskole i England (1986-1995 eller deromkring).

Tilbageblik til skoleår 1992-93: Alis sidste højskoleårbog,

med hendes ”planer” (ikke udført !!!!) ;

også Alis bedste veninde, Nics planer

Alison og Sarahs sidste skoleårbog fra vores ophold i USA

 Sarah og hendes klassekammerater (1984-5)

Alison og hendes klassekammerater (1984-5)

 Alisons klasse – Alison står i bageste række, nr 3 fra venstre

Lykkelige tider!!!!!

12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15. I mellemtiden er Lois gået i gang med at gøre lidt genealogisk forsking på min vegne.

Min kusine Kathleens mand, Martyn, bad mig i går om at tjekke detaljerne af min mormor Gladys og min morfar Sidneys bryllupsdato, fordi vores nuværende familiehistorie-oplysninger  angiver fødslensdatoen af parrets første barn som august 1906, dvs 2 måneder inden den tilsyneladende bryllupsdato (oktober 1906), hvilket synes lidt skandaløst i lyset af de moralsk strenge tiderne, de levede i, for at sige mildt.

Men heldigvis har Lois i dag gjort lidt forskning på nettet, og hun har opdaget, at bryllupsdatoen i vores nuværende information er ukorrekt – den sande dato var ét år tidligere – august 1905. Så familiens ære er intakt, gudskelov ha ha ha.

tilbageblik til 1910’erne: Sidney (til højre) sammen med John, sin ældste søn

Men der er en rygte hos min mors søskende, at feres forældre, Sidney og Gladys faktisk løb bort for at gifte sig, på grund af Gladys’ families misbilligelse af Sidney – han var bare en købmands bud. Så har Lois i dag bestilt en kopi af vieslesattesten fra GRO (General Register Office), for at se om nogle af Gladys’ familie var vidner, eller ej. Det kan være, at de boykottede ceremoniet. Fascinerende!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad, og bagefter fortsætter vi med at forfølge vores genealogiske forskning, som bliver jo mere og mere irriterende, jo flere blindgyder vi havner i: pokkers!

Jeg begynder at føle som om jeg hader familiehistorie – pokkers (igen) !

21:30 Vi beslutter at udskyde mere forskning til en anden dag. Vi har lyst  til at slappe lidt af og geare lidt ned, før vi går i seng. Vi ser lidt fjernsyn, et nylig afsnit af den morsomme amerikanske sitcom ”Speechless”, der handler om en usædvanlig familie – Jimmy, en check-infyr, der arbejder for et eller andet flyselskab, hans britiske kone Maya, deres 3 børn, Dylan, Ray og den handicappede JJ, også Kenneth, JJs plejer.

”Speechless”: (venstre til højre) Ray, Dylan, Jimmy, Maya, JJ og Kenneth

I aften er det den første dag af den nye skoleår. Efter morgenmad derhjemme på familiens køkken er nørden Ray ivrig efter at gå af sted, så han kan prale af, at han for 1. gang har en kæreste, der imidlertid ikke gå i samme skole som Ray

Maya, Rays mor, synes imidlertid at der er en risiko for, at hans klassekammerater ikke komme til at tro ham.

Men heldigvis har han produceret en overbevisende video på sin smartphone, for at fjerne deres mistanker.

Maya er stadig skeptisk, og jeg sympatiser med hende. Det er nemt nu til dags, at betale skuespillere for at optræde i korte videoer, designet til at imponere venner og klassekammerater og lignende.

Ikke dest mindre har Lois og jeg aldrig haft motiveringen til at afprøve denne tilgang – hidtil i hvert fald. Så dette spørgsmål er juryen faktisk stadig ude om, for at være strengt faktuel, det må jeg nok sige.

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!