Friends, here's a question and three quarters (!) for you this morning.... Are YOU a "sinner"?
Most of us are, aren't we, at one time or another, and none more so than local man Owen Pritchard from the lovely nearby Worcestershire village of Bell End, whose story was "plastered" all over p.94 of this morning's Onion News West Worcestershire (print edition).
Just go and get your copy now, unless it's already been used to wrap up your used tea-leaves before putting them in your wheelie-bin: a habit of my dear late father - and probably of your father too, if I remember him rightly (!).
My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are not 100% sure that Pritchard has really grasped what religion is really all about, but one thing's for sure: we'll be following Pritchard's story with keen interest in the coming weeks and months, and Onion News has promised a constant flow of updates, so "watch this space", as they say (!).
And we think of Pritchard again this evening while watching the latest re-run of an episode of the world's longest-running (1973-2010) sitcom, "Last of the Summer Wine" on the Drama TV channel, the series that followed the "adventures" of three "old codgers" living in a Yorkshire moorland village - "old codgers" with lots of time on their hands, to put it mildly (!).
Tonight one of our 3 old codgers, Norman "Cleggie" Clegg" gets a surprise early visit from a couple of young missionaries, who confront him on his doorstep:
And Cleggie's response here jogs my memory a little. When Lois and I first saw this episode, back in 1988, was it (?), I remember seizing on Cleggie's response "You probably want to be on Arnold Street!" as the perfect "distraction technique" with which to rebuff all door-to-door 'salespersons'. Why not try it yourself? You'll be glad you did (!).
However this iconic answer doesn't work for Cleggie on this occasion (!).
Poor Cleggie !!!!!
And since Lois and I moved to our current home, a new-build house in Malvern, Worcestershire, I must say that we've only once experienced a doorstep visit from Jehovah's Witnesses for example, two young women, and that happened soon after we moved in, at a time when Persimmon the Builders were still 'finishing off' the houses on the other side of our street.
flashback to 2023,: Lois and I had not long moved into this new-build home
in Malvern; Persimmon's builders were still disturbing all our afternoon nap-times,
ripping up the pavement right underneath our bedroom window
as well as on the other side of the street - what madness!!!!
Whenever Jehovah's Witnesses call, Lois can, in any case, 'give as good as she gets' on such occasions. She's a member of a different fundamentalist denomination, one which also believes the Bible to be divinely inspired and infallible, but a denomination which has drawn often quite different conclusions from the text than the "Witnesses" have.
Anyway, whatever, those two young women never came back after their spirited debate with Lois that afternoon, so I think the final score must be Lois 1 Witnesses 0, in this case, to put it mildly!
Since that afternoon, there have been no more 'missionaries' that have come to see us. And soon, we'll be on the move again, hopefully, this time to Liphook, Hampshire, to be nearer our daughter Alison and her family. Today Lois is studying the surveyor's report on the house we want to buy, and making notes: there are defects in the house - no surprise there, and Lois is noting down questions we'll have to put to (1) our solicitors, and (2) a local builder who's agreed to inspect the property and send us likely cost estimates for the most urgent repair work.
flashback to October 30th: we view the house we want in Liphook, Hampshire,
in the company of our elder daughter Alison, who lives with her family in nearby Headley
The surveyor's report consists of 75 - yes 75 (!) - closely-typed pages, with lots of gory details and pictures of all the defects.
Yikes!
[That's enough exclamation mark in brackets (!) - Ed]
Oh dearie me (again) !!!!!
21:00 We go to bed on this week's edition of "Have I Got News For You", the comedy news quiz, chaired tonight by guest host, TV presenter Lorraine Kelly.
As always, the two teams are tested on their knowledge of all the week's big news stories, including this "doozy", from the doings of those crazy neighbours of ours, the French:
Yes, just what British food are the French supposedly obsessed with? Well, the teams have various suggestions for their answers, including the obvious "roast beef" and "sausage rolls" - WRONG !!!! And "uh uh", says Lorraine, imitating the well-known Family Fortunes / Family Feud "incorrect answer" buzzer noise.
The correct answer, apparently, is "Fingers" the chocolate finger biscuits manufactured by British chocolatiers, Cadbury.
Who knew? And why are these chocolate biscuits suddenly in the news? Well, Lorraine has the answer.
Oh dearie me!
And have the French taken to the streets to protest, burning down supermarkets and blocking roads leading to the Channel ports? Not yet, apparently, and so far it's been left to French academic, Sophie Turon, to speak for all of France in this angry 'statement', released this week to respected French newspaper Le Monde:
Well, that's a question and three quarters, Lorraine, and no mistake (!). And I definitely think we should be told, don't you? So, your answers please (postcards only!).
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz!!!!!
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