SPOONS! Dear reader, have YOU got any spoons, maybe lurking unobtrusively in one of your kitchen drawers, I wonder? Most of us have, haven't we. Go and check.. do it NOW.. otherwise, knowing you, you'll probably forget, won't you, go on admit it !!!
And, some days, particularly in autumn, it seems like it's impossible to keep spoons completely out of the news, even on "fast news days", no matter how hard we may try (!), and these news stories are not just about local spoons, or even "area spoons", here in rural West Worcestershire, but they could be about spoons in almost any country of the world, seemingly (!).
[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]
Just look at some of these "doozies" from both "Onion News Local" and "Onion News International", in this morning's edition(s) alone, and you'll see what I mean !!!!
I rest my case!
Oops - wait, here's one I forgot to include above, from somewhere here in our little county of Worcestershire!!!
I myself, even, yes, I myself have got my favourite teaspoon, the one I call "trusty", which is significantly bigger than our other teaspoons, and so yielding a slightly stronger cup of instant coffee, or more jam on a tea-cake, as a result.
I use my "trusty" as often as possible, so that, no matter how often it's washed up or rinsed, it never sinks to the very bottom of the spoon section of our kitchen drawer, and so never gets overrun by invasive lesser spoons (!).
I showcase "trusty", my favourite teaspoon, which, with its 2 inch 'bowl',
is significantly longer, wider and more capacious than one of your
average teaspoons, included here for comparison purposes
My regular political magazine, the "Private Eye" fortnightly, which "plopped" through our letterbox on Wednesday this week, has latched onto spoons as the most faithful "barometer" of personality. And this fortnight they're looking at sex-mad octogenarian authoress Jilly Cooper, whose latest "bonkbuster", "The Rivals", is lighting up TV screens and raising temperatures in living-rooms across the UK at the moment.
I showcase my fortnightly political magazine "Private Eye"
with its eye-catching feature on authoress Jilly Cooper
and her sometimes problematic relationship with her spoons
And Jilly's experiments with "spooning" give me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois plenty to laugh about this morning, as we sip our americanos and munch on a shared toasted tea-cake at our local "eating hole", the Poolbrook Kitchen and Coffee Shop, after our walk on the common, that's for sure!!!
Just out of interest, I take the opportunity to check the length of coffee-shop owner Andrew's jam spoons, and I can see they've got significantly shorter bowls than my own, my very own, good old "trusty", which is a pity!
we indulge in 2 americanos and share a toasted tea-cake at
local "eating-hole", the Poolbrook Kitchen and Coffee Shop
after our walk on Poolbrook Common this morning.
Lois and I are in "Thank God It's Friday" mood today. We've had a busy week, trying to set up our purchase of a house 120 miles to the south-east of us, over in Liphook, Hampshire. We're both 78, and are getting perilously close to old age [That ship sailed a long time ago, Colin. Just saying! - Ed]
Our reason for moving? Well, as a result of our increasing incompetence, Lois and I want to live nearer to our daughter Alison and her family. This week we've been trying to prove to our law firm's solicitor that we're not money-launderers or terrorists, and we've also set up 3 "appraisal visits" by different estate-agents, who will be coming to value our house here in Malvern next week.
We've also started to do a superficial "decluttering" of our house here, so it won't look too awful in the estate-agents marketing photos. hiding random clutter desperately under beds, in the garden shed, and in the boot of our car. And tomorrow, Saturday, we've got to visit the local recycling centre, in Upton-on-Severn, to dispose of some malfunctioning electrical appliances. What madness !!!!
the boot of our little Honda Jazz - just one of the places
we use to hide some of our "clutter"
Today, we've got no appointments, however, so Lois and I are in holiday mood. And the mood in the coffee-shop is as bubbly as ever this morning, although later, an email comes in from Tünde, my Hungarian penfriend, that suggests things are not all that rosy in Hungary at the moment, to judge from this story from the influential Hungarian news website blikk.hu.
"Luxembourg, Denmark and Ireland are at the top of the EU
ranking in terms of annual average earnings", the article reports, "while Hungary is at the bottom of
the list, lagging behind competitors even in the Central and Eastern European
region" [Colin's italics].
Hungary lags behind
its competitors in the Eastern and Central European region: the average annual
salary was 21,503 euros in Croatia, 19,001 euros in Slovakia, 18,504 euros in
Poland, and 17,739 euros in Romania. And my penfriend Tünde, worries for the future of the European economies if Donald Trump introduces his threatened monster tariffs. Yikes!
And here are some other current news stories from the website:
It makes me really angry on behalf of the people of Hungary, a country Lois and I have visited a few times in the past, in company with our Hungarophile friend from Gloucestershire, "Magyar" Mike, and his wife "Magyar" Mary.
Here's a couple of pictures of mine taken in Kaposvár, Hungary, in 1994, when the future was looking bright for the country and its people, newly freed from the shackles of communism.
It's a sunny morning and a young couple are sitting in the town square enjoying the sunshine, as Mike and I meet our Hungarian friend Ibolya for a day's sightseeing.
Flashback to 1994, Kaposvár, Hungary: (left) my friend "Magyar" Mike and
our Hungarian friend Ibolya, and (right) me, one sunny morning in the town centre -
the sun is shining and the future looks so bright, we have to wear "shades" (!)
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!
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