Sunday November 24th 2024 "Do YOU do impressions and make your friends rock with laughter?"

Question of the day - do YOU do impersonations that have your friends absolutely rocking with laughter? 

Most of us do don't we. And I started doing it at an early age, because I thought it would make me more popular at school.

I could do a fabulous Mr Martin, or Mr "Morning my chickens!" and "Tidy locker tidy mind" Martin, as I used to call him, affectionately, of course. But I found out later, that Mr Martin and others of my "target set" weren't enough to "launch" me into show-business, which was a pity - the bitter truth was that these Latin teachers simply weren't well enough known outside the school, among the country's "legions" of non-Bristol-Grammar-School-student families. 

And that's really why, in the end, I had to get a desk job as a medium-to-top-secret agent, just to earn a crust or two (!), so the story of my life really - oh dearie me! [Get on with it, Colin! - Ed]

My Latin teacher, Mr Stanley "Stan" Martin -

"Morning my chickens" and "Tidy Locker Tidy Mind"

- those were his catchphrases

But I'm so very glad now that I did become a "medium-to-top-secret agent" anyway, because I've found out that being an impersonator is much more dangerous. Did you see these stories in this morning's Onion News print edition? 

Just turn to page 94, if you will.

Being an impersonator is even more risky in America - see this "doozy", further down on page 94, if you dare(!).

Yikes !!!!

[That's enough Onion News stories! - Ed]

And I don't blame those cops for getting irritated by a Washington impersonator. There were three of them outside Bargain Booze off-licence in North Piddle last week, and police had to hold back the angry crowds that gathered.

George Washington impersonators gathering outside

North Piddle's flagship off-licence Bargain Booze last week.

Police had to hold back angry crowds.

What madness !!!!!

Be that as it may (!), my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I are feeling quite relieved in bed this afternoon, safe in the knowledge that local Worcestershire impersonator Borgman has finally been captured, and is no longer a danger to the public. 

Lois and I can nap safely in bed this afternoon, secure in the 

knowledge that notorious local impersonator Jerry Borgman

has been captured, and is awaiting trial in Worcester, which is nice!

And Lois and I talk over the risks from known impersonators associated with our impending planned move from our new-build home here in Malvern, Worcestershire to our "dream-house" in Liphook, Hampshire. We want to be nearer our daughter Alison and family, who, hopefully will look after us in our middling-to-extreme old age (!) - we're both 78, although I know we look older. It's all the worry haha!!!

me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois -

we're currently planning to move from Worcestershire

to Hampshire, to be nearer our daughter Alison and family

Unfortunately, as we see this afternoon, with Lois's Huawei and my Samsung busy "beeping away" under the bedclothes (!), certain known impersonators, some of the dangerous, are also two-a-penny in Hampshire, as the BBC has alerted the public about for the first time today.

A Donald Trump impressionist has said his phone did not stop ringing after the result of the 2024 US presidential election. Mike Osman, a comedian from Southampton, was almost ready to retire his blonde wig and fake tan. But news of the Republican’s return to the White House has inspired him to carry on. After launching his act in 2016, he now describes himself as the UK's number one Trump impersonator. With more than 16 million views on TikTok, Mr Osman has spent years working on his act, named Donald Trumped.

Despite having a southern English accent, the comedian seems to imitate Trump's voice with ease. "The first thing you've got to do is get the wig - and you've got to get it right," he said. The impressionist wears a bespoke hairpiece created by wig designers, which is regularly re-styled by a hairdresser. Next is perfecting the costume, in particular Trump's suit and iconic crimson tie.

Mike Osman, seen here arriving at BBC Radio Solent

to do his Donald Trump Impressions Show

"The tie is about eight foot long," he joked, adding his seamstress neighbour had made it especially for him. "I'm non-political, I have no axe to grind doing Donald Trump, the American people have decided," he said. "I'm the UK's number one Donald Trump impersonator - interestingly, I'm in the top five in the world, according to a survey."

Mr Osman grew up on a council estate in Millbrook, a suburb of Southampton. President-elect Donald Trump will take office in January.

Yikes, I say to Lois !!! Is nowhere safe from these crazy people(?) - and I don't mean Trump haha !!!!!

Luckily the next few days will be busy enough for us, and we won't have time to worry about Osman - or Trump for that matter!!!!  An estate-agent is going to be coming on Tuesday to photograph our house and put it on the housing market, so we've got to somehow hide all our "clutter" wherever we can - in drawers, under beds, in wardrobes and cupboards, in the garden shed, or in the boot of our car. You name it!!!! 

the boot of our little Honda Jazz parked outside our new-build home in Malvern

- just one of the places we use to hide some of our "clutter"

Plus, I've got my follow-up check at the Alexandra Hospital Redditch tomorrow, the hospital where I had my shiny new hip installed in April, and mine and Lois's dental check-up on Wednesday. Busy busy busy!

What madness !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!