Do YOU get a bit fed up with all foul language we have to put up with these days, both on TV and video?
Most of us do, don't we, and that includes my poor medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me, especially on these long winter nights, when there's nothing else to do except binge-watch things on "the box", and just put up with the foul language or else just turn the sound down!
Am I right, or am I right?!!!!
That's why we were so pleased to read that "cri de coeur", in this morning's Onion News Local (print edition), from local firebrand granny, Marjorie Lengths, who lives with hubby Mark in the lovely local village of Nob End. Marjorie's evidently "had enough" and has now gone public with this hard-hitting commentary - see page 94:
Health warning: Granny Lengths' language in this article is a bit "fruity" at times and I've been forced to "redact" some of her choice phraseology (!) - I hope that won't spoil it too much for you!
And talking of language, have you ever noticed that people in many countries of the world people don't speak English?
This realisation dawned recently on this young fellow in the States, and it features as another story in today's Onion News - the International Section. And yes, you've guessed it - it's another "cri de coeur" by that irrepressible "young shaver" Cliff Burkett, yet again (!):
14:30 Well, one set of people who don't need to go through young Cliff's experience of "learning about the world the hard way" (!) are the members of the local U3A Intermediate Danish group, that Lois and I run - for our sins (!!!).
[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]
It's our fortnightly meeting this afternoon on Skype, and we've got to an interesting bit today in the Danish crime story we're all reading together, "Judaskysset" (The Judas Kiss) by Danish crime writer Anna Grue.
Danish crime-writer Anna Grue and her book "Judaskysset" (the Judas Kiss)
You'll remember that Jay, a young Danish scammer, has found a rich 30-something single woman, Birgitte, and he's tricked her into believing he's terminally ill; he's then followed that up by suggesting they have quickie wedding and make a suicide pact, so that they can die together and be united in "Danish scammer-and-scammee heaven" maybe, if such a place exists (!!!!).
[Get a grip, Colin! - Ed]
young Danish scammer Jay persuades rich 30-something
single woman Birgitte that they die together in a suicide pact:
however, Birgitte dies but Jay doesn't, and then runs off with
all the money in the couple's joint bank account - simples !!!!
How's your intermediate Danish? Most of us have a smattering of it, don't we: but I'll give you a bit of help, so don't worry!
You probably know enough Intermediate Danish to understand that Jay (the scammer) and Birgitte (the 30-something gullible rich woman), have been found apparently both dead in their double bed one morning, when a neighbour comes to call. They had apparently both overdosed on pethidin [Danish: pethidin]. But it's obvious to the neighbour that Jay must have thrown up at some stage or "cast up" as the Danes say in their graphic way (!) [Danish: kastet op], because Jay's "puke" is all over the floor on his side of the bed.
a typical pethidin-user politely throwing up [Danish: kastende op]
over his side of a double bed after an overdose
Later, although Birgitte is lifeless, Jay is found to be miraculously still breathing, so he's taken to a local hospital where they "pump out" [Danish: ud-pompe] his stomach, but they find it's already almost empty anyway because of his earlier vomit-session. And a few days afterwards Jay is found to have disappeared with the contents of the couple's joint bank account.
Yikes! But that's the way they do it, in Denmark, at least, but remember - don't try it at home haha!
[It's only a story, Colin! - Ed]
21:00 We go to bed on one of Thomas Hardy's short stories, "The Withered Arm" on BBC4.
It's all about a newly married couple, Dorset farmer Mr Lodge, and his young bride Gertrude, played by Jane Asher, Paul Macartney's old girl-friend from the 1960's.
Deliriously happy though the couple are at the start of their marriage, their bliss is soon spoilt by local woman Rhoda, who Mr Lodge had an affair with years ago, but for years he's ignored both Rhoda and the son they had, Tom. Rhoda is jealous of the young Gertrude, who's much younger and prettier, she imagines.
Later Rhoda seems to maybe cast a spell on Gertrude, which results in Gertrude getting lots of weird blotches on her arm, which discourages her husband from having sex with her, and which takes a lot of the fun out of the marriage.
Gertrude's blotchy arm discourages her husband
from having sex with her, which takes a lot of the fun
out of their marriage - oh dear!
Poor Gertrude!!!!
Later Gertrude is told by village spell-master "Conjuror Trendle" that she can only be cured of her blotchy arm if she touches the body of somebody who's recently been hanged. Gertrude tries this ,but finds to her dismay that the hanged man is none other than Tom, the boy that her husband conceived with Rhoda all those years ago. And he was hanged for a crime he didn't commit, to make the experience all the more galling!!!!
Fair enough perhaps! But what a crazy world they lived in. back in 19th century Dorset!!!!
[Again, it's only a story, Colin!!! - Ed]
Will this do?
[Oh just to go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!
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