Friday, October 4 2019

09:00 Lois and I drive over to Bishop's Cleeve to do our food shopping at the local Tesco supermarket: on the way we pop into the Waghorne’s the butchers to buy meat, bread and cheese, and then the Joyce Arnold greengrocers to buy our fruit and veg. We always say how awful it would be if the small businesses all went bankrupt and we had no choice but to buy everything in the supermarket, so we do our best to support the little guys, I have to say.

11:00 We come home and relax with a cup of coffee on the couch. I take a look at the social media, and I see that Sylvia, Lois' cousin in Melbourne, Australia, and her partner Rod, have been to the local Village Cinemas movie theatre to watch Downton Abbey and that after the movie they ate waffles at the nearby ice cream shop, Cielo Gelateria.

Very nice for Sylvia and Rod - I have no doubts about that. But have the pair read the latest FBI warnings about the dangers of watching Downton Abbey in many parts of the world, according to my go-to news website, the influential Onion News?

WASHINGTON - Following reports of disturbing behaviour by disaffected loners on the periphery of High Society, the FBI released a joint intelligence bulletin on Thursday, warning moviegoers that screenings of the movie Downton Abbey could be a potential target for shootings by disgruntled royalists.

"The individuals in question are in a state of constant anger and discontent, frustrated at living in a world that does not honour the Crown," said the bulletin, describing how the FBI had discovered the plots during routine surveillance of pro-monarchy dark web forums, where members posted about how seeing people like themselves on screen who believed in divine right had inspired them to restore power to the throne through violence.

“We fear that the themes of largesse and elitism portrayed in this film may radicalise these people. Although the FBI intends to infiltrate screenings with dozens of undercover police officers, dressed as servants and butlers, we advise both cinema staff and attendees to be on the lookout for suspiciously fancy activities perpetrated by individual spectators in top hats, white ties and tails. We recommend extreme caution if moviegoers encounter anyone who looks like a member of the landed gentry. "

At press time, AMC and Regal Cinemas announced that security personnel would be stationed strategically  at all upcoming Downton Abbey screenings, to check all bags for duelling pistols.

A scary message, to put it mildly. And later in the day, I consider calling Sylvia and Rod to advise them to stay away and not risk anything unpleasant, before recalling that because of the time difference, they are already snuggled up under the duvet (hopefully!) - damn, I just hope there were no unpleasant events in Village Cinemas today – I must check the Melbourne media again, ha ha ha!

Flashback to September 2018: Rod, Sylvia and me (on the right)

on  a visit, with Lois, to the Black Country Museum, near Birmingham

12:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 1:30 pm and take the bus into town. I get off in front of the Marks and Spencer department store and walk around the corner to the town’s Everyman Theatre and up the stairs to the theatre  bar. Lynda's U3A Middle English group is holding its regular monthly meeting at 2:30 pm, and the topic is the English language's "Great Vowel Shift" that occurred between the years 1400 and 1600 or thereabouts. 

We have a lot of fun with the topic while avoiding being thrown out of the bar for the usual things: moving our back vowels or opening up our labials too loudly as the case may be, but I feel completely exhausted by the end of the meeting. I'm getting old, no doubt about that.

16:00 The meeting ends and I take the bus home. I feel a little dizzy in my head and I have to stop myself from speaking in English with the bus driver. My Goodness!

I come home and Lois and I relax a little on the couch. Today is Friday, the day when we do whatever we want when it comes to food and drinks: chocolates, pastries, gin and tonics, etc. Party time – at last it's here - hurrah!

Lois has been browsing through the latest issue of her "The Week" magazine. She reads a letter written by the son of a woman who worked as a secretary at the British Embassy in Athens in the early 1950’s. Once a week, the "office girls" were sent down to the basement to burn top secret memoranda that had been processed, and because of the suffocating heat, they had the habit of wearing swimsuits while standing by the furnace, throwing in the paper. The show they put on was apparently a favourite after-lunch entertainment for the ambassador and his delighted guests – good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!

The Russian spy Don Maclean was one of the spectators on one occasion, according to the letter. Lois says she thought he was a homosexual, but I check, and it was actually his partner-in-crime Guy Burgess that she's thinking of.

At least the story shows how much progress has been made - such a humiliating scene round the furnace would not be tolerated today, to put it mildly. And let's hope the "girls" put in official claims for the cost of their swimsuits, "standard issue" ones, probably, as "Q" would have said - I myself was reimbursed for the cost of a "tropical" suit when planning a business trip to the US in the 1990's, a suit which is still today my only suit, so I've least I've had my full value out of it, my fellow taxpayers!

18:00 We have lunch and spend the rest of the evening watching some television, the latest episode of "Gogglebox", a fun program where various  TV viewers watch some of the week's programmes and comment on them from their couches and armchairs etc.

BBC host Naga Munchetti was recently criticised and reprimanded by the BBC board for denouncing, during a live broadcast, some of Trump's recent “allegedly” racist comments: BBC hosts are supposed always to be impartial.

Naga Munchetti (right) commenting on Trump's language

on a recent BBC-TV breakfast show

Later in the day, news bulletins confirmed that Naga had got herself into trouble with her management.

The BBC Board had of course predictably received complaints after Breakfast Show presenter Naga's outburst, complaints that the BBC board then upheld, it seems. But exactly who was it who complained? 

Gogglebox's commentators seem to know.

When I hear these comments, it suddenly dawns on me that they are talking about me. My goodness, it's not true, I tell you! I deny it all!

22:00 Lois and I go to bed. We have to get up early tomorrow to visit our doctor's surgery and get our annual flu shot, along with all the other local old crows - zzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation: fredag den 4. oktober 2019

09:00 Lois og jeg kører over til Bishops Cleeve for at købe ind på det lokale Tesco-supermarked: på vej kigger vi ind i Waghornes-slagteren for at købe kød, brød og ost, og Joyce Arnold-grøntsaghandleren for at købe vores frugt og grønt. Vi siger altid, hvor forfærdeligt det ville være, hvis de små forretninger alle gå i konkurs, og vi havde ikke andet valg end, at købe alt i supermarkedet.

11:00 Vi kommer hjem og slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen. Jeg kigger lidt på de sociale medier, og jeg ser, at Lois’ kusine i Melbourne, Australien, og hendes partner Rod, har været på det lokale Village Cinemas-biograf for at se filmen Downton Abbey, og at de efter filmen spiste waffles ved den nærliggende isbutik, Cielo Gelateria.

Rod1

Rod2

Meget rart for Sylvia og Rod – det har jeg ikke noget tvivl om. Men har parret læst de seneste FBI-advarsler om farer ved at se Downton Abbey i mange dele af verden, ifølge min go-to nyhedswebsted Onion News?

WASHINGTON - Efter rapporter om foruroligende opførsel fra misfornøjede enspændere i periferien af den fine verden, frigav FBI torsdag en fælles efterretningsbulletin, der advarede filmskuere om, at visninger af filmen Downton Abbey kunne være et potentielt mål for skydelser,  begået af utilfredse royalister.

”De pågældende individer er i en tilstand af konstant vrede og utilfredshed, frustrerede over at leve i en verden, der ikke ærer kronen,” stod der i dele af bulletinen, som beskriver, hvordan FBI havde opdaget plottene under overvågning af pro-monarki mørkeweb fora, hvor medlemmer postede om, hvordan dét, at se mennesker som sig selv på skærmen, som troede på guddommelig ret, havde inspireret dem til at gendanne magten til tronen gennem vold.

”Vi frygter, at temaerne largesse og elitisme, der bliver skildret i denne film, kan radikalisere disse mennesker. Selvom FBI har til hensigt at infiltrere screeninger med snesevis af undercover-politifolk, klædt ude som tjenere og butlere, råder vi både biografansatte og deltagere til at være på udkig  efter mistænksomt fancy aktiviteter begået af individuelle tilskuere i top hatte, kjole og hvidt. Vi anbefaler ekstrem forsigtighed, hvis biografkundere støder på nogen, der ligner et medlem af den jordejende adelskab. ”

På pressetidspunkt annoncerede AMC og Regal Cinemas, at sikkerhedspersonale ville blive placeret på alle kommende Downton Abbey-screeninger for at tjekke poser for duelpistoler.

En skræmmende meddelelse, for at sige mildt. Og senere på dagen overvejer jeg at ringe til Sylvia og Rod for at fraråde dem at risikere noget ubehageligt, da jeg mindes, at på grund af tidforskellen har de allerede puttet sig ind til hinanden under dynen (forhåbentlig!)  – pokkers, jeg kan bare håbe på, der var ingen ækle hændelser i biografen ha ha ha!

tilbageblik til september 2018: (fra venstre til højre Rod, Sylvia og mig

på besøg hos Black Country Museum, nær Birmingham

12:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 13:30 og tager bussen ind i byen. Jeg står af foran Marks and Spencer-stormagasinet og går rundt om hjørnet til byens Everyman-teatret og op ad trappen på teatrets bar. Lyndas U3A middelengelske gruppe holder sit regelmæssige månedlige møde kl 14:30, og emnet er det engelske sprogs ”Store vokalskifte”, der opstå mellem år 1400 og 1600, eller deromkring. Vi hygger os meget, men jeg føler mig helt udmattet ved slutningen af mødet. Jeg bliver gammel, ingen tvivl om det.

16:00 Mødet slutter og jeg tager bussen hjem. Jeg føler mig lidt svimmel i hovedet og jeg må forhindre mig i at tale på middelengelsk med buschaufføren. Du godeste!

Jeg kommer hjem og Lois og jeg slapper lidt af i sofaen. I dag er fredag, dagen hvor vi gør hvad som helst vi har lyst til, når det kommer til mad og drinks: chokolade, wienerbrød, gin og tonicer osv. Festtid- så er den her - hurra!

Lois har været i gang med at blade igennem det seneste udgave af sit ”The Week”-tidsskrift. Hun læser et brev op, skrevet af sønnen af en kvinde, der først i 1950’erne arbejdede som sekretær på den britiske ambassade i Athen. Engang om ugen blev ”kontorpigerne” sendt ned til kælderen for at brænde tophemmelige memoranda, som var blevet behandlet, og på grund af den kvælende varme, havde de for vane at tage badedragter på, mens de stod og arbejde ved ovnen. Showet var en yndlings underholdning efter frokost for ambassadøren og hans henrykte gæster – du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!

18:00 Vi spiser frokost og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn, det seneste afsnit af ”Gogglebox”,  et morsomt program, hvor forskellige tv-seerne ser på nogle af ugens programmer og kommenterer dem i deres sofaer og lænestole osv.

BBC-værten Naga Munchetti blev for nylig kritiseret og irettesat at BBC-bestyrelsen for at fordømme under en live udsendelse nogle af Trumps nylige angiveligt racistiske kommenterer:  det er meningen at BBC-værter altid skal være upartiske.

Der var klager, som BBC-bestyrelsen stedfæstede, lader det til. Men hvem var det, som klagede?

Da jeg hører disse kommentarer, falder det mig pludselig ind, at de taler om mig. Du godeste, det er ikke sandt! Jeg benægter det hele!

22:00 Vi går i seng. Vi må stå tidlligt op i morgen, for at besøge vores lægehus og få vores årlige influenzaskud, sammen med alle de andre lokale gamle krager  – zzzzzz!!!!