Sunday, October 6 2019

08:00 Lois and I get up early. Lois wants to attend her sect's two services taking place today in the Tewkesbury Town Library, and she has some special duties today - bringing along the communion bread, preparing the sacrament table, also putting the kettle on, so people can have  a cup of tea when they first arrive. Busy, busy, busy!

I suggested earlier to Sarah, our daughter in Perth, Australia that she call us this morning at 9:30 am (English time) because Lois has to go out at 10 am - we have the habit of talking on whatsapp with Sarah every Sunday morning. But this morning we hear nothing from her.

Later, she sends me a text message saying sorry: the whole family was away from home on an outing - hers and Francis's 6-year-old twin daughters, Lily and Jessie, had been invited to a party. She will try to contact us on Monday or Friday instead.

Sarah and Francis in happier times: flashback to April 2018:

me (left) at a beach cafe in the Margaret River region,

Western Australia, along with Francis, Sarah, and the twins

11:00 I hurry out into the backyard and start cutting back one of our most aggressive shrubs - our spiræa: it's grown a little too big for its britches, to put it mildly. I decide to take a brutal approach, for the shrub’s own sake ha ha ha!

final score: Colin 1, Spiræa 0 – enough said, ha ha ha!

12:00 I send an email to the members of our U3A Danish group, and attach a Danish vocabulary list, words which I want them to learn by heart before our regular fortnightly meeting, taking place here on Thursday at 2:30 pm. I'm so demanding, hahaha!

I also attach a vocabulary test, based on the list. The correct answers to the test spell out another of our favourite stand-up comedian Tim Vine's famous one-line jokes: "I saw this bloke playing 'Dancing Queen' on a didgeridoo, and I thought, 'That’s Abbariginal’.

Not one of his best maybe, but I’m going to let that one slide, because he's a kind-hearted man who took a wrong turning at some point or another in his youth ha ha ha!

Tim Vine, our favourite stand-up comedian

It is not generally known that Australia is not the only continent where aborigines live. Many indigenous people, inhabitants of a previously unknown continent, were found by archaeologists and anthropologists not a million miles away from North America  - it was nearly 15 years ago, and the discovery caused a bit of a sensation at the time, if I remember rightly. The story first broke in my go-to news site, the influential Onion News.

NEW YORK - A U.S. Geological Survey expeditionary force announced Tuesday that it has discovered a previously unknown and unexplored land mass between New York and California's coasts, known as the "Midwest".

The Geological Survey team discovered the vast area when they were searching for the legendary Midwest Passage, the mythical overland route that passes through the unmapped area between Ithaca, NY and Bakersfield, CA.

"I've long suspected there was something there," said Franklin Eldred, who hails from Manhattan and is the leader of the 200-man investigative force. "I had flown between New York and L.A. on a business trip many times, and the unusually long duration of the flights seemed to indicate that some kind of vast area, an area of ​​unknown composition, was being traversed far below."

The researchers from the U.S. Geological Survey left the East Coast three weeks ago and embarked on a perilous journey into the unknown. Not long after crossing the Adirondack Mountains, Eldred and his team blazed a trail through strange new regions, wild lands, full of corn and wheat.

"So far, we've discovered places known as Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin," said Randall Zachary, lead navigator for the expedition. "When we translate these names from the local dialect into English, those words seem to mean 'summer camp' or something similar."

Eldred and the others were surprised to learn that the Midwest, whose harsh environment was long thought to be incapable of supporting human life, is in fact populated, albeit thinly.

"The Midwest's indigenous people are a ruddy-cheeked, generally thick-set and stocky people, dressed in plain, non-designer clothes," Eldred said. "They tend to live in simple, one-storey homes whose interiors are decorated with Hummels and 'Bless This House' tapestries on the walls. And although rough and unattractive, these simple people were quite friendly and offered us charming, but bizarre dishes such as 'hot dish' and 'casserole'. "

Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!! And I read recently that scientists had discovered another entire continent beneath Europe. I need to do some research to find out whether this extra new continent has residents too - maybe they are related or kin to the Midwest's indigenous people: stranger things than that have been discovered in the past, no doubt about that.

The new 8th continent discovered under Europe - are its inhabitants

perhaps related to the Midwest's indigenous people? It's high time

that the world's scientists came clean and told us the truth

But no matter what, my answer to all those who say there is nothing left to be discovered on this ancient planet. I say, "Go west, young man, go east, go north, go south! Discover for yourself some new continent - the world is your oyster! ”

13:00  I hurry into the kitchen and eat the sandwiches that Lois made me before she left this morning - she feels sorry for me because she knows I'm a bit of a prat in the kitchen, to put it mildly.

Later in the day, I chat a little with Lois about "the joys of cooking". I tell her that our 44-year-old daughter Alison has put an emotional post up on Facebook, where she laments about how much time and energy is demanded by not just the cooking but also the routine food-shopping and general meal-planning.

our daughter Alison's emotional cry for help on Facebook

In fact, Alison is drawing the attention of her Facebook friends to a recent article written by Zoe Fenson on the theweek.com website.

Zoe writes: Imagine the contents of your fridge - full or empty, messy or clean. Without looking inside, name three foods that you know are in there (off the top of my head: eggs, Little Gem lettuce and pre-shredded cheddar cheese).

Think about how much of each item you have. (A dozen plus three, about a half, an unopened bag). Think about when they were purchased and how quickly you should use them before they’ll go bad. (The eggs are okay - I bought them a couple of weeks ago. The lettuce has to be used before the weekend, for sure. The cheese ... it's unopened, but I can't remember when I bought it. What's the last sell-by date?).

Think about what meals you could possibly make with each of these ingredients. Think about how many servings these meals require and how long the leftovers will last. Think about what other ingredients you need to acquire to make these meals. Think about how much these ingredients cost and how much money you have available to buy them. Think about who else is eating with you and what they like or dislike and what they can eat or cannot eat.

Think about how long the cooking will take. (How long until meal-time? How hungry am I? How hungry is everyone else?) Think about the inevitable sink full of dishes, and who will do the dishes and how long after the meal they will get done. Think about doing all of this again every time you cook .... [etc etc].

My Goodness! I tell Lois I've never heard these anxieties analysed so clearly before. But unfortunately, later in the day, Lois brings shame on me in the eyes of hundreds of Alison's Facebook friends by posting this comment:

Lois' comments on our daughter Alison's Facebook post

Yikes! I have to keep my mouth shut in future - no doubt about that ha ha ha !!!!

Yikes (again) !!!!!!

But sorry - that was a bit of a digression. Back to reality.....

14:00  Lois has not returned from Tewkesbury yet. I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap.

15:00  Lois returns. I get up and we relax with a cup of tea and a piece of bread with homemade gooseberry jam - yum yum!

18:00 We have dinner: roast shoulder of lamb, roast potatoes, and various vegetables, with mint sauce - yum yum (again)!

We spend the rest of the evening watching some television. A documentary is on, all about the recent history of the Thomas Cook travel agency that went bankrupt a few weeks ago.

An interesting documentary, but a bit disappointing taken as a whole. The programme concentrates on the problems of the travel agency's thousands of staff who were laid off without notice. We feel very sorry for them, needless to say, but it would have been nice to hear more about why the agency went bankrupt, and who or what should be blamed for this whole wretched saga.

One of the biggest reasons, of course, was the Internet, and the ability of tourists to book their travels online. And there were also various terrorist attacks in the Middle East targeting tourists in 2015-2016, which frightened off many potential customers.

But other travel agencies have managed to avoid Thomas Cook's problems. Unfortunately, Thomas Cook made the mistake, about 10 years ago, of not just taking over other agencies but also investing massively in stores, in malls and town centres, it seems. What madness !!!

Many of Thomas Cook's disgruntled ex-employees (in addition to other commentators) have accused the agency’s board of squirrelling away their own personal fortunes before filing for bankruptcy. It would have been nice if this programme had investigated this claim, but they failed to do so unfortunately - but why?

However, Lois and I learn a lot of interesting facts throughout the programme. Who knew that Thomas Cook was a Baptist minister and avid member of the temperance movement, who initially wanted to tempt workers away from pubs by helping them take vacations to towns with interesting sights? The first trip, in 1841, was Leicester to Loughborough by train. Loughborough ?????? My god!!

Thomas Cook, baptist minister and enthusiastic member

of the Temperance Movement

And who knew that it was the Thomas Cook travel agency that first invented the travellers’ cheques that Lois and I used to use so much when we were just young crows. My god (again) !!!!!

But it was a bit ironic considering the agency's Baptist origins that in recent years it ended up buying Club Med 18-30, a travel agency that specialised in vacations where young people were attracted by promises of travel to the Mediterranean with a bunch of other young people, followed by plentiful opportunities to get drunk and have sex every night.

What a crazy world we live in !!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation: søndag den 5. oktober 2019

08:00 Lois og jeg står tidligt op. Lois ønsker at deltage i sin sekts to gudstjenester, der finder sted i dag i byen Tewkesburys bibliotek, og hun har nogle specielle pligter i dag – at medbringe nadverbrødet, forberede nadverbordet, også sætte teen over, så folk kan drikke en kop te, når de først ankommer.  Travlt, travlt, travlt!

Jeg har forslået Sarah, vores datter i Perth, Australien, at hun ringer til os kl 09:30 (engelsk tid), fordi Lois skal af sted kl 10 – vi har for vane at tale på whatsapp med Sarah hver søndag formiddag. Men vi hører ikke noget fra hende. Senere sender hun mig en sms, hvor hun siger undskyld: hele familien var væk hjemmefra på udflugt – hendes og Francis’ 6-årige tvillingedøtre, Lily og Jessie, var blevet inviteret til en fest. Hun vil prøve at kontakte os på mandag eller fredag i stedet for.

Sarah og Francis i lykkeligere tider: tilbageblik til april 2018:

mig (til venstre) på en strandcafé i Margaret River-regionen,

Western Australia, sammen med Francis, Sarah, og tvillingerne

11:00 Jeg skynder mig ud i baghaven og går i gang med at beskære én af vores mest aggressive buske – vores spiræa:  den er blevet lidt stor på den, den er indbildsk, for at sige mildt. Jeg beslutter at tage en brutal tilgang, for selve buskens skyld ha ha!

finale score: Colin 1, busken 0 – nok sagt, ha ha ha!

12:00 Jeg sender en email til medlemmerne af vores U3A danske gruppe, og vedhæfter en dansk ordforrådliste, som jeg vil have dem til at lære udenad før vores regelmæssige fjortendagsmøde, der finder sted hos os på torsdag kl 14:30. Jeg er så krævende, hahaha!

Jeg sender også en ordforrådtest, baseret på listen. De rigtige svar til testen staver endnu en af vores yndlings-standup-komiker Tim Vines berømte en-linje-vittigheder: ”I saw this bloke playing ’Dancing Queen’ on a didgeridoo, and I thought, ’That’s abbariginal”. Ikke én af sine bedste måske, men det springer jeg over, fordi han en godhjertet mand, der tog en forkert drejning på ét eller andet punkt i sin ungdom ha ha ha!

Tim Vine, vores yndlings-standupkomiker

Det er ikke generelt kendt, at Australien ikke er det eneste kontinent, hvor urfolk lever. Mange urfolk, indbyggere på et forinden ukendt kontinent, blev fundet af arkæologer og antropologer ikke 1000 miles væk fra Nord-Amerika for næsten 15 år siden, og opdagelsen voldede lidt af en sensation på tidspunktet, hvis jeg husker godt. Historien brød først i mit go-to nyhedswebsted, den indflydelsesrige Onion News.

NEW YORK - En amerikansk geologisk undersøgelse ekspeditionsstyrke meddelte tirsdag, at den har opdaget en tidligere ukendt og uudforsket landmasse mellem New York og Californiens kyster, kendt som "Midtvesten".

Geological Survey-teamet opdagede det store område, mens de søgte efter den legendariske Midwest Passage, den mytiske overlandsrute, der passerer gennem det ikke-karterede område mellem Ithaca, NY og Bakersfield, CA.

”Jeg har længe mistænkt, at der var noget der,” sagde Franklin Eldred, der stammer fra Manhattan og er leder af den 200 mand efterforskningsstyrke. "Jeg var fløjet mellem New York og L.A. på forretningsrejse mange gange, og den usædvanlige lange varighed af mine flyveture syntes at tyde på, at der blev overfløjt et slags stort område, et område med ukendt sammensætning."

Forskerne fra US Geological Survey forlod østkysten for tre uger siden og begyndte på en farlig rejse til det ukendte. Ikke længe efter at have krydset Adirondack-bjergene, banede Eldred og hans team vejen gennem mærkelige nye regioner, vilde lande fulde af majs og hvede.

"Hidtil har vi opdaget steder, der er kendt som Michigan, Minnesota og Wisconsin," sagde Randall Zachary, lead navigator til ekspeditionen. "Når vi oversætter disse navne fra den lokale dialekt til engelsk, synes disse ord at betyde 'sommerlejr’ eller noget lignende."

Eldred og de andre blev overrasket over at få at vide, at Midtvesten, hvis uvurderlige miljø længe blev antaget at være ude af stand til at støtte menneskeliv, faktisk er befolket, omend tyndt.

”Midwestens urfolk er rødmossede, generelt lavstammede folk, beklædt i almindeligt, ikke-designer tøj,” sagde Eldred. "De har en tendens til at leve i enkle, en-etagers boliger, hvis interiør er dekoreret med Hummels og 'Bless This House' gobeliner på vægge. Og selvom grove og uattraktive, var disse simple mennesker ret venlige og tilbød os charmerende, men mærkelige retter såsom ’hotdish 'og' casserole’. "

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!  Og jeg læste for nylig, at forskere havde opdaget et helt kontinent, der ligger under Europa. Jeg må gøre lidt forskning, for at finde ud af, hvad dette ekstra nye kontinent har indbyggere også – måske er de beslægtede til Midwestens urfolk: mærkeligere ting er sket, ingen tvivl om det.

Den nye 8. kontinent opdaget under Europa – er dets indbyggere

måske beslægtede med Midwestens urfolk? Det er høje tid, på at verdens forskere

gå til bekendelse og fortælle os sandheden

Dette er mit svar til alle dem, der siger, der er ikke noget tilbage til at blive opdaget på den her gamle planet. Jeg siger, ”Tag vestpå, unge mand, tag østpå, tag nordpå, tag sydpå! Opdag for dig selv et eller andet nyt kontinent – verden er din østers!”

13:00 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet og spiser den madpakke, Lois har smørt til mig før hun tog af sted i formiddags – hun har ondt af mig, fordi hun ved godt, jeg er lidt af en skovl til madlavning, for at sige mildt.

Senere på dagen, jeg diskuterer lidt med Lois om ”glæderne ved madlavning glæderne ved madlavning”. Jeg fortæller hende, at vores 44-årige datter Alison lagde en følelsemæssig post op på Facebook, hvor hun begræder, hvor meget tid og energi ikke bare madlavningen men også de rutinemæssige madindkøb og planlægning  kræver.

vores datter Alisons følelsesmæssige post på Facebook

Faktisk henleder Alison sine Facebook-venners opmærksomhed til en nylig artikel skrevet af Zoe Fenson på theweek.com webstedet.

Zoe skriver: Forestil dig indholdet af dit køleskab - fyldt eller tømt, rodet eller rent. Uden at kigge inde, skal du nævne tre fødevarer, som du ved, der er derinde. (På stående fod: æg, Little Gem salat og forudskåret cheddarost.)

Tænk på hvor meget af hver vare du har. (Et dusin plus tre, omkring et halvt, en uåbnet taske.) Tænk på, hvornår de blev købt, og hvor hurtigt du skal bruge dem, før de går dårligt. (Æggene er okay - jeg købte dem for et par uger siden. Salaten er nødt til at blive brugt før weekenden, helt sikkert. Osten ... den er uåbnet, men jeg kan ikke huske, hvornår jeg købte den. Hvad er den sidste salgsdato?)

Tænk over, hvilke måltider du muligvis kan lave med hver af disse ingredienser. Tænk på, hvor mange portioner disse måltider kræver, og hvor længe resterne vil vare. Tænk over, hvilke andre ingredienser du har brug for at erhverve, for at lave disse måltider. Tænk på, hvor meget disse ingredienser koster, og hvor mange penge du har til rådighed til at købe dem. Tænk over, hvem der ellers spiser med dig, og hvad de kan lide eller ikke kan lide, og hvad de kan spise eller ikke kan spise. Tænk på hvor lang tid madlavningen vil tage. (Hvor længe indtil måltiderne? Hvor sulten er jeg? Hvor sulten er alle andre?) Tænk på den uundgåelige vask fuld af tallerkener, og hvem vil gøre opvaskningen, og hvor længe efter måltidet de bliver vasket op. Tænk på at gøre alt det her igen, hver gang du laver mad.... [osv osv].

Du godeste! Jeg fortæller Lois, jeg har aldrig hørt disse angster analiseret så klart før. Men desværre, senere på dagen bringer Lois skamme over mig  i øjnene af hundrevis af Alisons Facebook-venner ved at lægge denne kommentar op:

Lois’ kommentarer til vores datter Alisons Facebook-post

Yikes! Jeg må holde kæft fremover – ingen tvivl om det ha ha ha!!!!

Yikes (igen) !!!!!!

Men undskyld – det var lidt af et sidespring. Tilbage til virkeligheden.....

14:00 Lois er ikke kommet tilbage fra Tewkesbury endnu.  Jeg går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur.

15:00 Lois kommer tilbage fra Tewkesbury. Jeg står op og vi slapper af med en kop te og et stykke brød med hjemmelavet stikkelsbærmarmelade –yum yum!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad: stegt lammeskulder, stegte kartofler, og forskellige grøntsager med myntasovs  – yum yum (igen)!

Vi bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser en dokumentarfilm om den nylige historie af Thomas Cook rejsebureauet, der gik konkurs for et par uger siden.

En interessant dokumentarfilm, men lidt skuffende i det hele taget. Programmet koncentrerer sig om problemerne af rejsebureauets tusindvis af personale, der blev afskediget uden varsel. Vi har meget ondt af dem, unødvendigt at sige, men det ville have været rart at høre mere om, hvorfor bureauet gik konkurs, og hvem eller hvad bør få størstedelen af skylden for det hele elendige historie.

Et af de største grunde var selvfølgelig internettet, og turisternes evner til at booke deres rejser online. Og der var forskellige terrorangreb i mellemøsten målet mod turister i 2015- 2016, som skræmmede mange potentielle kunder.

Men andre rejsebureauer har formået at undgå Thomas Cooks problemer. Desværre gjorde Thomas Cook fejlen, for omkring 10 år siden, af ikke bare at overtage andre bureauer men også investere massivt i butikker i indkøbcentrer og bymidter, lader det til. Sikke et vanvid!!!

Mange af Thomas Cooks utilfredse eks-ansatte (udover andre kommentatorer) har anklaget bureauets ledelse for at score deres egne personlige formuer før de sendte selskabet på konkurs. Det ville have været rart hvis dette program havde undersøgt denne påstander, men det undlod de at gøre desværre – men hvorfor?

Lois og jeg lærer imidlertid en masse interessante kendsgerninger i løbet af programmet. Hvem vidste, at Thomas Cook var en baptistisk præst og ivrigt medlem af afholdsbevægelsen, der oprindeligt havde lyst til at friste arbejdere væk fra pubberne ved at hjælpe dem om at tage ferier til byer med interessante seværdigheder? Den første tur var Leicester til Loughborough med tog. Loughborough?????? Du godeste!!

Thomas Cook, baptistisk præst og entusiastisk medlem

af afholdsbevægelsen

Og hvem vidste, at det var Thomas Cook-rejsebureauet, der først opfandt rejsechecks, som vi plejede at bruge så meget, da Lois og jeg var unge krager. Du godeste (igen) !!!!!

Men det var lidt ironisk i betragtning for bureauets baptistiske oprindelser, at det i nylige år endte med at købe Club Med 18-30, et bureau der specialiserede sig i ferier, hvor unge mennesker blev tiltrækket ved reklamernes løfter om mulighederne for at rejse til middelhavet med en flok af andre unge mennesker og gå på druk og have sex hver nat.

Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!