I know I've asked you some tough questions in my time, dear Reader, but here's a real "stinker", because you may have to cast your mind back to when you first woke up this morning - just saying! And here's the thing...
Did YOU panic for at least 2 hours before you even had your morning cup of tea? Most of us did, didn't we, with reported durations ranging from 2 to 4 hours - and that's just the ones tallied up and filed in emails to Yours Truly since about 7 am, would you believe!
most of us were panicking this morning, weren't we,
some for as long as, like, a billion hours (more, probably!)
Panic is a common emotion in the run-up to Christmas, isn't it. But the good news is that scientists and researchers are "on to it" now. They've acknowledged (finally!) that panicking is a genuine phenomenon, and they've been making huge strides recently in efforts to understand it and quantify it. And who knows, maybe eventually they'll come up with an antidote, which would be nice, to put it mildly (!).
Did you read this morning's local Onion News (West Worcestershire) print edition, making your way to the paper's iconic "page 94"? I just hope you had the stamina - that paper's getting heavier (in a purely physical sense (!), with every passing day, isn't it!
Fascinating stuff, isn't it! And let's hope that those clever local boffins at Worcester University discover a cure for panic soon - before Christmas if it's not asking too much, that is (!).
Like probably most of you, dear Readers, my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I woke up with a mild-to-mildish sense of panic this morning.
me with my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois - normally
we're quite calm people, but we wake up today with a sense of mildish panic
- yikes!
[Not me, I don't care, I've gone to make myself another cup of tea! - Ed]
"Diddley Squat Farm Shop closed for the whole of January????"
Well, seeing as how you're all "gagging" to know the reason (!), you see, today is December 22nd, and, on waking, we suddenly remember we're committed to moving house, from Malvern to Liphook, over the Christmas/New Year holidays, when so many businesses are closing for random periods, using the alleged excuse of "giving their staff time off to spend with their families". What madness !!!!
Lois and me mildly panicking at the thought of moving from Malvern to our
new house in Liphook over the Christmas / New Year holidays
It's quite mad, isn't it! Who knows, who will say to us, "Sorry, but we're closed for the next 2 weeks!", when Lois and I ring them up and ask them to do something for us, like, urgently, or something.
And this morning our nerves fail to be calmed, when we see the Worcester News website this morning, with its big story from the county today, courtesy of the paper's ace cub reporter, Toby "Scoop" Oliver :
What utter utter utter madness !!!!
I suppose Clarkson doesn't need the money, but the problem is, that so many people round here "take their cue" from Clarkson, a big figure locally and a key "influencer". Oh dear! This house move of ours is going to be a total disaster for, like, a billion reasons, that's for sure!
At least today, however, Lois and I at last manage to complete our "fixtures and fittings" form for the benefit of the local estate agent, Richard, who'll be trying to sell our new-build home here in Malvern, starting in 4 days' time, yes, on Boxing Day - yikes !!!!
local estate-agent Richard (right), who's going to try selling our house in Malvern,
seen here with his two willing helpers Kelly and young Tom
Stop press: we've decided to leave the light-bulbs in the house when we go. Also the washing-machine, which isn't much good, and it would cost us to have it "plumbed out" anyway - we're all heart !!!!
me showcasing our old washing machine - it's not much good
and it would cost us to have it "plumbed out", so we're
leaving it behind as a kind of "goodwill gesture"
to the new owners, whoever they may be - we're all heart !!!!
(left) flashback to yesterday: I showcase our "fittings and fixtures"
form, and (right) me celebrating the form's completion with a G&T
What a crazy world we were born into!
Do you remember those early breakfast TV shows back in the 1980''s? Watch this clip!
And do you remember those early BBC experiments with "advert breaks" during these shows? They seem "so 1980's" now, don't they, looking at that iconic ad series starring Celia Imrie as an archi-typically busy, but incisive, "Thatcher Era businesswoman", seen here promoting the Sonara menstrual sanitary towel range for hard-working women.
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment