Danskcolin: Tuesday December 10th 2024 "Do YOU ever joke about the Civil War?!!!"

Do YOU ever joke about the Civil War? Most of us do, occasionally, don't we!

Some subjects, like e.g. long-forgotten civil wars, aren't always very easy targets for making jokes out of, however, while staying on the right side of "good taste", are they? Although in these enlightened times, it's generally considered "okay" to give it a crack (!).

It's even rumoured that Spielberg tried to use humour to lighten the mood of his epic Civil War blockbuster, "Lincoln". And if you were a subscriber to Onion News way back in 2012 you may have "had your ribs tickled" by this "doozy" of a story on the paper's "Entertainment" page, Am I right? Or am I right!!!!

Later in filming, perhaps arguably wiser heads prevailed, however, and all the comic scenes were taken out - and the working title of "Carry On Lincoln" was quietly forgotten about. A pity, many would say.

And it's been a similar story in the UK, where "Carry On Cromwell" starring the late Frankie Howerd, was abandoned midway into production, and this publicity shot is all that remains, preserved in the film archive library of clergyman and film-buff Rev Fergus Butler-Gallie (crazy name, crazy priest!).

(above) the planned poster for "Carry On Cromwell",

the film that never came out, and (below) the classic

catch-phrase from 1970's sitcom "On the Buses"

that inspired the film poster

Ironically, what's thought to be possibly the world's earliest known "speech-bubble" originates from those crazy times, although the line itself wasn't a joke, it was a biblical quotation. However, as we know, Cromwell and the Puritans famously banned Christmas, together with mince-pies and all theatrical productions, so maybe all "cartoons" and "funnies" had to be scriptural homilies? I definitely think we should be told, don't you?

This next one's a bit funnier, and depicts a bunch of Royalist Cavaliers (left) and a bunch of Parliamentarian "Roundheads" (right) setting their dogs on each other, which is a nice idea.

It was getting there, wasn't it. And that's as much as you can say, possibly.

Could we maybe persuade Spielberg to come to the UK and give his idea another shot, this time "leavening" the heavy side of the English Civil War with some of his trademark amusing "groin injury" stunts?

I wonder..... !

[That's enough whimsy! - Ed]

11:00 And the civil war - the English one - is very much on the minds of my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and me this morning, as we do another of our "old codger walks" round the parish of Hanley Swan, Worcestershire, couple of miles from our home in Malvern.

guidebook in hand, and freezing half to death in the chilly

December wind, my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I

start another of our "old codger walks" round the parish of Hanley Swan.

You can't avoid reminders of the English Civil War in this county - it started here, and it ended here. The first shots fired in the war were at Powick Bridge in 1642, a skirmish won by Royalist cavalry, and the last battle of the war was the iconic Battle of Worcester (1651), a decisive victory for Parliament against the forces of King Charles II, after which the King went into exile, England became a republic, and many of Charles's followers were shipped off to the American colonies, in particular to Virginia.

Ironically, the parish, and particularly the Swan Inn were crowded with Americans in World War II, because the US Army had 5, yes 5 (!) military hospitals in the Malvern area, including 3 at Blackmore Park, less than a mile away from Hanley Swan.

These hospitals were all set up to treat expected casualties from the invasion of Europe in June 1944. The Swan Inn became the GI's local pub, and they reportedly dubbed it "The Dirty Duck".

What madness! But tremendous fun!

we pause for a moment in our "old codger walk", to look at historic St Gabriel's Cottage,

where a Civil War musket ball, clay pipes and other 17th century relics were dug up in the garden

flashback to 1660: the Seal of Virginia, following

the restoration of King Charles II in 1660; Virginia

was the state where many of the King's supporters were exiled

after a Republic or "Commonwealth" was declared in England

flashback to World War II: (left) rehabilitation exercises for patients at the

US Army's 55th Military Hospital in the lee of the Malvern Hills, and (right)

patients from the 53rd Military Hospital on their home-made bike

the Swan Inn, seen here in the background was the GI's local pub

during World War II. The first records of the inn date from 1781,

but it's believed to be much older than that

Fascinating stuff, isn't it! [If you say so! - Ed]

And how interesting to note also that 1970's comedy trio, The Goodies - Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie - weren't the first people to conceive of the multi-passenger-tandem-bike.

(left and centre) beloved TV's 1970's comedy trio, the Goodies, and (right)

the Goodies with the 3 lucky winners of a typical "Dream Came True" contest

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

14:00 For Lois and me, today is another step forward in our planned move from Malvern, Worcestershire to Liphook, Hampshire.

We're in bed for "nap-time" when a Removals Company rings us up to fix an appointment on Thursday for "Martin from our Cheltenham depot" to come and look over our house and belongings, and give us a quote for moving us to Liphook.

Yikes! Is this really all going to happen, and at Christmas?????!!!!

What a madness, isn't it! Who would want to move house at Christmas! Only a pair of "nut jobs" surely!!!

Let's hope it isn't all a complete disaster, that's all we're saying!

It's all mired in uncertainty anyway, because we're still waiting for the couple who own the house in Liphook, Peter and his partner Shirley Ann, to say when they can move their stuff out. It's not an ideal situation is it, by any stretch of the imagination. Yikes (again) !!!!!

21:00 We go to bed on an old Blackadder. You remember the one? It's the Civil War, and Blackadder and his servant Baldrick are hiding the King in a back room of their cottage.

Baldrick can't relax, however, and he seeks reassurance from Blackadder that the King is perfectly safe in their humble abode, as long as Baldrick "keeps his fat mouth shut".

Unfortunately at this precise moment, Blackadder has to go to the bathroom to answer a call of nature, but he gives Baldrick strict instructions about what to do, should Cromwell and his men knock at the door.

And while Blackadder is still in the toilet, guess what - yes, there's a knock at the door, and it's you-know-who....

Baldrick remembers to give the correct answer to the question "Is the King hiding here?", namely, that (1) "the King is not here", and (2) "Yes, I'm sure". But now Cromwell wants a cups of milk for himself and his men....