Have you ever shared a Halloween costume with somebody you feel close to, maybe? Most of us have, haven't we! And, well, you can't get much closer than the inside of a Halloween costume, can you? Be fair!
And being the front half or the back half of Scooby Doo's Velma is a popular Halloween Party choice, as long as you know your partner pretty well already. And if you don't know them you certainly will by the end of the evening(!). Do you remember this story from Onion News Local back in October?
It's just never worth all the sheer kerfuffle of a two-person Velma suit, is it! And yet two-person horse-suits remain popular, as you can tell from Onion News' horoscopes, where you'll find, like, a billion 'horse suit' predictions most days: they're almost 'legion' but not quite (!). There were 2 just this morning - did you notice?
For me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois, however, today's horoscopes give us a much-needed chuckle this morning, because we know today is going to be another frustrating day of mainly waiting, and checking bank balances, and again there'll be no afternoon in bed for our usual "nap-time". What madness!!!
us going for a "40-minute squelch" in the long grass of
Poolbrook Common this morning
At least we get that "40 minutes of squelching" in the rain-sodden long grass of the common before lunchtime, while the, like, billion pounds of money we need for our upcoming house purchase in the fringes of London's commuter belt goes winging its way round the country till it reaches the pockets of our hotshot big-city London lawyer, Oliver.
hopefully this "schematic" will explain today's saga (!)
Those all-important "big bucks" took about 4 hours yesterday afternoon to get from our mortgage lender to our bank in Swindon, and today it takes until 2:30pm to reach Oliver's "big-city" wallet. What madness (again) !
And later our estate-agent here in Malvern drops in with the "rushes" for his planned advertising for selling the new-build home that we downsized to in October 2022. As expected, we don't recognise our home at all from Richard's photos, which, as expected, make all our rooms look vast, as if they're rooms in, like, Buckingham Palace or the British Museum. Again, what madness!!!!
There's a particular mystery about the photo Richard took of mine and Lois's bed, because it looks as if there was at least one person in the bed, possibly a couple.
Lois and I can't think who that could have been under our bedclothes. Was it YOU, just you on your own, or with your current "squeeze" maybe? I think we should be told, don't you, so drop us a postcard if you've got a moment today!
20:00 Horse suits are very much "in the air" at this time of year, aren't they, with the Christmas pantomime season coming up. So it's no surprise for Lois and me when we see one on TV tonight, in a topical old re-run of the world's longest-running sitcom Last of the Summer Wine,
We can't help smiling tonight when the beloved Yorkshire village's ageing lothario, Howard, decides to dress up in a horse suit to go on a secret date with village temptress, the mini-skirted pensioner Marina.
hen-pecked husband and ageing lothario Howard (left), on one of his
typical amorous cycle rides through the Yorkshire dales
with village temptress, the mini-skirted pensioner Marina
Howard's idea is that the two lovebirds should go around the Yorkshire dales together dressed in a horse-suit. He sees it as "the perfect disguise" for the couple to make out discreetly while avoiding setting local tongues a-wagging.
First Howard has to leave his house dressed in the front half of the suit without arousing the suspicions of his sharp-tongued wife Pearl.
And a hour or two later, Howard finds his date with Marina doesn't go as planned either. They find themselves incredibly close in the tight-fitting suit, but that it's awkward trying to "make out" in their usual way
How would YOU "make out" in a horse suit? Send your suggestions to me on the usual postcard. Diagrams might help haha!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzz!!!!!
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