Thursday December 5th 2024 "Do you think I'm still "stylish"? Don't answer that haha!!"

Hard to believe, I know, but my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I have on occasion been accused of not being "stylish", both as regards our outerwear and our 'innerwear'! We've even asked our five grandchildren e.g. what we should be wearing, and what the latest hair-styles are, so that we can "get down with the kids", but their reactions have been vague, as if they think we're a couple of "hopeless cases", would you believe (!).

It's almost 20 years since we were last "on trend" - me in "my mullet" and Lois in her ra-ra skirt. Remember those times?

flashback to 2005: me and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois

getting ready for a night out on the town, showcasing our look

for the cameras in our back garden in Cheltenham

And after Lois's ra-ra skirt developed some embarrassing rips and turned into a "ha-ha skirt", and my mullet finally "died" or, more accurately (!) had to be put down by a "veterinary" (only joking!), we went a bit mad, post-lockdown, and tried having a shag and (less extreme, perhaps!) having a shullet, which is a cross between a mullet and a shag, in case you don't know, but sadly somehow, nothing has seemed to look right on us after that.

flashback to 2021: Lois and I try a "shag" and, after that, a "shullet",

in the style of Miley Cyrus and trend-setter (or should I say "jett-setter (!)" Joan Jett

And what should we be wearing these days? 

An even harder problem! Ten years ago we were given hope by this story about the new "smart mannequins" in London's department stores, mannequins able to give shoppers advice on what looks good on them and what doesn't. 

Did you not see it? It was in the Daily Mail !!!

Sadly, the reaction of some typical readers to this news was less than enthusiastic, however. Take these two (please !!!!) - sarcastic art historian Lynn Palladino, and Chris Feld, a laptop screen-repairer.

It's always a bit sad, isn't it, when people can't see the benefit in new technology. Lois and I can never be accused of that, to put it mildly!

Sadly, however, "smart mannequins" haven't penetrated much beyond the West End of London, and certainly haven't penetrated as far as darkest West Worcestershire, where Lois and yours truly are "based" these days (!). A pity. "Dumb mannequins" - we've got plenty of those hereabouts, that's for sure! 

We even see some mannequins today during our daily "old codger" walk through a local housing estate. Look at this front garden display featuring Santa and his wife, a somewhat daringly mini-skirted Mrs Claus, which is rather sweet! Awwwww!!!!

our today's "old codger" walk takes us through this housing estate, where we come across 

this charming Santa and Mrs Claus display in somebody's front garden: awwwww!!!!

But here's a question for  you, dear reader..... Mannequins, be they smart or be they dumb, where do they go to when they 'die' (or, more accurately, when just look too tatty for a department store window display, or a Christmas front-garden display, come to that? 

It's a question Lois and I have often pondered [Really? - Ed] , but by coincidence we get the answer today on one of our daytime TV viewing "must sees" - the weekly "Four in a Bed" series, in which four B&B owners compete to be crowned "B&B of the Week" by Channel 4.

Tonight it's the turn of B&B owners Ryan and Hollie to host their fellow-competitors at their guest-house, the Watergate Yard in the county of Lincolnshire. And to impress their guests with the attractios on the are, they take them on a quick outing to nearby "Mannakin Hall", where they meet owner Roz.

Lois and I wonder what the point of it all is, however, Lincolnshire is a pretty ruraul county and it isn't a big tourist hotspot, so Mannikin Hall is unlikely to attract a lot of holiday-makers, we imagine.

Well, it's not like that at all, explains museum-owner Roz. She says she gets the old mannequins from retailers who don't want their old ones just going to landfill, and she gets requests from local artists who look round and say to Roz, "I could make a lamp out of this", or "I could make a planter out of this". 

See? Simples!

The reaction of the 4 sets of B&B owners is mixed, however.

Later, however, all the B&B owners they get their chance to get their hands, and their paintbrushes, on a few of the torsos.

That's enough mannequins, surely (!). But wait, there's more. Because when the owners settle into their rooms at Watergate Hall, they find more mannequins' "bits" in their bedrooms too. 

What utter utter utter madness !!!!

One of the nice features of this Channel 4 series is that you learn lots of interesting snippets about the places the B&Bs are in, snippets that you didn't know.

For example, who knew that Lincolnshire, as well as being home to the world's biggest display of used mannequins, was also the county where, in the 1660s, an apple fell off a tree onto physicist and mathematician Sir Isaac Newton - a bit of a bump on the head that led him to "discover" gravity? [I expect a lot of people knew that! - Ed]

How much truth is there in the "apple story", however? And wouldn't you know, luckily, somebody has actually asked that very question recently on the quora forum website.

Here's an answer from one of mine and Lois's favourite "quora" pundits, Bryan Ashby, the guy who, famously, "used to know stuff".

The last word, however, must go to one of our other favourite pundits, who has a BSc in physics and maths, just like Newton, which is weird. And Smitaj (crazy name, crazy guy) has at last weighed in with this "doozy" of an answer(!):

Fair enough - so watch this space! And remember, you read it here first haha!!!!

But what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Will this do?

[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!