Friends, are you planning to start 2025 with a bang? My medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois and I certainly are! And are you maybe moving to a completely new town, like, a billion miles away from where you live now - to maybe Liphook, Hampshire to be precise, for example? Am I right? Or am I right!
Liphook, Hampshire - everybody (almost!) will be moving there next week!
I think, most you will be doing EXACTLY THAT (!), aren't you, to judge by all the "sob-stories" from Liphook-bound readers I've been getting, all those letters that have been clogging up the letterbox in mine and my medium-to-long-suffering wife Lois's home here in Malvern for the past few days... because YES, STOP PRESS, like you, we're also going to be going to bed in Liphook on the night of January 3rd!!!! So see you there haha!!!!
You'll have to get your own bed, though - ours will be at maximum capacity when you factor in all our festive Christmas nightwear (!), to put it mildly!
[That's enough whimsy! - Ed]And yikes! It's already Christmas Eve today, and our whole impending house-move is suddenly seeming quite daunting to us, because at this end, the Malvern end we'll have to be doing it all ourselves, unaided. Yes, none of our neighbours has offered to help us, sob sob!
I think people in these parts have long memories and they all remember the disastrous attempt made 25 years ago by Vice-President Al Gore, to help the Clintons move out of the White House. Remember all the kerfuffle that caused? It was in the Daily Mail, of course, but Onion News had more of an "in" with Clinton insiders, so that's the version I'm reproducing here:
Many of Clinton's old Greggs menus were found to be offering corned beef bakes, which the chain isn't even selling any more. What madness !!!!
And I think it's generally agreed that Clinton's moves in and out of the White House were the worst planned events of this nature. Do you remember these headlines?
Or these....?
I don't know - what a crazy world we live in !!!!
And at least Lois and I will have help the other end of our big move, when we get to Liphook on January 3rd. We're both 78 now, and have been diagnosed by local doctors as "clinically old", and the whole point of the move is to be nearer our elder daughter Alison, who lives near Liphook, in the neighbouring village of Headley. And Alison has agreed to be at our new house bright and early on the 3rd in case Lois and I are late turning up.
us doing our usual last-minute panic Christmas food shopping
this morning in Barnard Green's popular Coop mini-supermarket:
- doctors have diagnosed us as "clinically old"
Lois and I know we'll both be pretty tired late on January 2nd after the movers have loaded up all our furniture and belongings into their van and driven away, and after we've cleaned and hoovered and dusted and all that malarkey. So we're planning to break our journey that night by stopping in Swindon for the night, and then doing the rest of the journey to Liphook on the following morning, to be at the new house when the removal van arrives in the morning.
But wow, a night in Swindon - I think that's everybody's dream, isn't it (!), and not everybody gets the chance to do it there of all places. See this schematic for details and weep with envy (!!!!).
[That's enough exclamation marks in brackets (!) - Ed]
21:00 We wind down for bed with the Christmas edition of one of our favourite TV quizzes, Only Connect, the quiz which tests lateral thinking.
Can YOU suggest a fourth element to complete this sequence? And what exactly IS the sequence?
Well, yes, the first 3 elements are all from Christmas songs, but what's the sequence, exactly, and what would make an appropriate 4th element?
It's a tough one, but the answer is quite simple - of coure, it's CHRISTMAS SONGS BECOMING LESS EXCITING: three exclamation marks in the first title, two in the second, etc etc.
Simples! And presenter Victoria Coren-Mitchell suggests "Silent Night" as one suggestion for the fourth element.
Why not write to me with YOUR suggestions for the fourth element - max 100 suggestions, and postcards only, oh, and, I almost forgot, keep it clean haha !!!!
Will this do?
[Oh just go to bed! - Ed]
22:00 We got to bed - zzzzzzzz!!!!!!
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