18:00 Lois og jeg er ikke rigtigt sultne i aften – vi spiste vores
bryllupsdagsfrokost tidligere på dagen på Buckland Manor hotel-restauranten,
hvor den fine mad altid er 100% perfekt. Min afdøde søster, Kathy, og hendes
mand, Steve, viste os denne restaurant for mange år siden. Den har et meget
langt vinkort, der desværre er lidt spildt på mig: Lois kan ikke klare alkohol og derudover må hun ikke køre bil for tiden på grund af
grå stær, så derfor må jeg begrænse mig til et enkelt glas vin. Pokkers!
20:00 Vi lytter lidt til radio. Vi hører først det første afsnit af den 3.
sæson af et morsomt radio-sitcom, ”Den kolde svenske vinter”.
Serien handler om en engelsk komiker, Geoff, der er partnere med en dejlig
svensk kvinde, Linda (Andersson). Parret flytter til det nordlige Sverige og
købe et hus ude på landet, helt tæt på Lindas skræmmende forældre, hendes
negative far, Sten, og hendes liderlige mor, Gunilla. Geoff har haft en masse
problemer med at vænne sig til det svenske ”socialdemokratiske” samfund.
Scriptet er overraskende morsomt, selvom seriens komiske stjerne efter min
mening uden tvivl er Geoffs skræmmende svenske svigerforældre. I aften hører vi
om en 3 dages biltur, som de 2 par tager sammen med lille John (Geoff og Lindas
unge søn), for at forske potentielle steder, hvor Geoff og Linda senere på året
kan holde deres bryllup. Under programmet hører vi ofte den statistik, at 47%
af svenske ægteskaber ender op med skilsmisse – uha!
Geoff og Linda er imidlertid opmuntret af, at Lindas forældre, Sten og
Gunilla, stadig er forelskede i hinanden efter ca. 42 års ægteskab. Desværre
har de to svensker tendens til at ”blive kærlige” lidt for ofte foran Geoff og
Linda og det almindelige offentlighed, endda når Sten er bag rettet på bilturen
og Gunilla sidder ved siden af ham, hvilket strider vildt mod svenskernes sædvanlige
respekt for ”sundhed og sikkerhed”. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i
!!!
De besøger de potentielle steder, startende med et slot, ejet af en svenske
grevinde, der viser dem rundt i slottet. Det viser sig, at svenskerne holder
meget af reglerne. Hvis man gifter sig i dette slot for eksempel, børn er
forbudte, også musik, kun 1 flaske vin per bord, og det hele må slutte før kl
23. Andre steder forbyder også alkohol.
20:30 Mari-Ann ringer til Lois. Hun siger, at dagen på kirkens pop-up shop:
Geoff og Martin dukkede ikke op for at bemande
shoppen, siger hun. Ifølge Mari-Ann, Hilary, der hver formiddag åbner
shoppen op, prøvede at ringe til Lois om problemet, men uden succes.
Naturligvis begynder Lois at bekymre sig og at føle, at dette på en eller
anden måde er hendes skyld, fordi hun er ansvarlig for shoppens administrative
side. Lois er betuttet, fordi vi i løbet af dagen ikke fik nogle telefonopkald
eller sms. Vi var selvfølgelig ude af huset mellem kl 11:30 og kl 16, men jeg
havde min smartphone med, og jeg tjekkede den engang imellem, da vi var i
hotellet.
Efter Lois lægger på, minder jeg hende om, at Mari-Ann ofte er galt
afmarcheret. Og senere får vi at vide, at Geoff og Martin ankom lidt sent, men
alt gik godt. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!
Geoff siger også, at “originalen” (mit ord), der har for vane at tilbringe størstedelen af
hver dag i shoppen, dukkede op i løbet af formiddagen (kl 10:30), og en
kirkemedlem ledtog ham, da han havde sin aftale hos de sociale myndigheder. Han
modtager for tiden ingen dagpenge, fordi han ikke har en ordentlig adresse –
han bor i et telt i baghaven af byens metodistiske kirke, men prædikanten har
bedt ham (høfligt) om at pisse af.
22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzz!!!!!
05:00 Jeg står tidligt op og laver en af mine rutinemæssige danske
ordforrådtest.
Jeg træder ind i stuen og jeg mærker, at der er en kattelugt derinde, der
er lidt stærkere, end normalt. Vi mistænker, at Minx, vores datter Alisons kat,
som Alison efterlod hos os for 5 år siden, da hendes familie flyttede til
København, måske har fået vane for at tisse på gulvtæppet lige foran
skydedøren, der fører til baghaven. Du godeste! Minx er 17 år gammel, og har
for det meste god fysisk sundhed, men vi er ikke så sikre på, at hun ikke har
udviklet et par psykiske problemer – uha, pokkers, ligesom Lois og mig ha ha ha.
07:30 Jeg hopper op i sengen til Lois og vi drikker vores morgenté. Vi står
op og spiser morgenmad.
08:30 Vi lægger lidt desinfektionsmiddel ned på gulvtæppet i stuen, hvor vi
mistænker, at Minx har for vane at tisse.
09:00 Lois skal ud. Mari-Ann kører forbi for at afhente hende. De har
indvilliget i at hjælpe med at bemande kirkens pop-up shop i formiddag. Også i
formiddag sker der en særlig kampagne i et par timer (kl 11-13), baseret i
shoppen, hvor kirkemedlemmer med klipskort i hånden vil stå på fortovet foran
shoppen og prøve at overtale forbipasserende til at indskrive sig på kirkens
næste serie af bibelseminarer, der starter i september måned.
Lois føler, at hun kan hjælpe til ved at sidde i shoppen og lave te og
snacks til kirkemedlemmerne med klipskortene. Hun har ikke lyst til at stå på
fortovet og henvende sig til forbipasserende – hun har svært med at indlede
samtaler med fremmede – og jeg har meget sympati med dette syn. Gud, sikke et
vanvid, det hele !!!!
Jeg minder Lois om, at jeg har for vane at undgå at tale med folk med
klipskort i hånden, når jeg går rundt omkring i byen, eller jeg fortæller dem,
jeg skynder mig, jeg har en bus at fange osv. Hun griner af mig, men det er
bare fornuftigt!
09:15 Jeg har lidt alenetid. Jeg går ud i baghaven og klipper nogle af de
buskgrene, der hænger over drivhuset og skærme vores tomatplanter og
agurkplanter for solen.
10:15 Jeg kommer tilbage ind i huset og går i gang med at læse den 12.
kapitel af Gunnlaugs saga, en 1000-årig islandsk saga, fordi Scilla U3A
oldnorske gruppe holder dens næste møde på onsdag på biblioteket i bymidten.
Jeg læser om duellen mellem to islandske skjalde, Gunnlaug og Hrafn. De har
aftalt at kæmpe en duel for at beslutte, hvem der få retten til at have Helga,
Islands smukkeste kvinde. Helga er for tiden giftet med Hrafn, men det er Gunnlaug,
hun er forelsket i, og hun afviser stadig at have sex med Hrafn på grund af
sine følelser for Gunnlaug. Hvor spændende livet var i Island i det 11.
århundrede - ingen tvivl om det!
Gunnlaug og Hrafn, to islandske skjalde, kæmper en duel,
for
at beslutte, hvem af dem får retten til at have Helga, Islands smukkeste kvinde
Til sidst mødes de og starter duellen. Hver mand har ca. 5 venner med, der
vil blive ved med slågsmålet og kæmpe dueller med medlemmer af det andet hold,
så bliver det til et stort slag, ingen tvivl om det! Gunnlaug sårer Hrafn ”mildt”
(han skærer Hrafns ben af !!!!) og tilbyder at stoppe kampen, men Hrafn
insisterer på at blive ved med at slås – men han beder Gunnlaug om hente ham et
glas vand først. Gunnlaug kan ikke finde noget glas så derfor henter han vandet
i sin hjelm.
Men da Gunnlaug rækker Hrafn vandet, slår Hrafn ham med sit sværd og sårer
ham frygteligt – du godeste. Han spiller ikke ærligt spil – ingen tvivl om det.
Hrafn indrømmer, at han holdt sig ikke til
reglerne, man han undskylder sig med, at Gunnlaug i det daglige nyder Helgas
kram og kys, mens Helga viser ham, sin mand, en kold skulder, hvilket må have
været meget irriterende, for at sige mildt!!!
12:00 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet og laver to madpakker: tun og
mayonaise sandwich med agurk og tomat, nam nam!
13:30 Lois kommer hjem – Mari-Ann sætter hende af foran huset. Vi spiser
frokost. Hun fortæller mig lidt om sin formiddag i sin kirkers pop-up shop i bymidten.
Det er lidt morsomt, at ingen, bortset fra Andy, den mest aktive og
entusiastiske medlem af kirkens ledelse, dukkede op for at stå i formiddags på
fortovet foran shoppen, med klipskort i hånden for at henvende sig til
forbipasserende og opfordre dem til at indskrive sig på kirkens næste serie af
bibelseminarer, der starter i september måned.
Kirken holdt en forretningsmøde i onsdag og alle deltagere sagde dengang,
klipskortene foran shoppen var en udmærket idé, da Andy
forslog det. Men jeg formoder, alle håbede hemmeligt på, at andre vil gøre
opgaven. De må alle have fundet ud af, at de havde andre tilsagn i formiddags.
Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!
Lois har en god
nyhed (i hvert fald set ud fra mit synspunkt!) . Selvom Andy gerne vil holde
shoppen åbent indtil videre, måske i flere måneder, har shoppens ejer fortalt
ham, at han har fundet en ny lejer: ejeren af den polske delikatesse, der
ligger lidt ned ad gaden, søger et større lokale og er interesseret i at
overtage ejendommen, hvor kirkens pop-up shop er blevet oprettet. Så derfor er
det muligt, at pop-up shoppen vil måtte ophøre om 2-3 uger, hvilket ville være
lidt af en lettelse for mit vedkommende. Men jeg må prøve at blive mere
menneksekærlig ha ha ha!
Lois siger også, at
ingen kirkemedlemmer har indvilliget i at bemande shoppe på mandag eftermiddag (en
national helligdag), så derfor har Andy besluttet, at shoppen må blive lukket
hele dagen – hurra! En god nyhed, fordi
Lois havde indvilliget i at bemande shoppen mandag formiddag. Nu kan vi begge
to have en fridag –hurra (igen)!
14:15 Jeg går i seng for at tage mig en kort eftermiddagslur – zzzzzz!!!!
15:00 Lois smutter ind hos naboen (Mary) for at snakke lidt med hende. Hun
er alene de fleste lørdag eftermiddage, fordi Bill, hendes mand, godt kan lide
at se fodboldkampe på den lokale fodboldbane. Mary lider af en mild form for
demens, så derfor hjælper det hende, hvis naboerne og venner smutter ind og
snakker lidt med hende. Lois er så varmhjertet – det er ikke ret nemt at snakke
med Mary, fordi hun har tendens til at fortælle gentagende gange de identiske
gamle historier. Stakkels Mary.
15:30 Jeg står op og slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.
English translation
18:00 We are not really hungry tonight - we had our anniversary lunch
earlier in the day at the Buckland Manor hotel restaurant, where the fine food on offer is always 100% perfect. My late sister, Kathy, and her husband, Steve, showed
us this restaurant many years ago. It has a very long wine list, which is
unfortunately a little wasted on me: Lois cannot handle alcohol and, in addition, she cannot drive a car at the moment due to
cataracts, so I have to limit myself to a single glass of wine. Damn!
20:00 We listen to the radio a
bit. We first hear the first episode of the 3rd season of a fun radio sitcom,
"The Cold Swedish Winter".
The series is about an English
comedian, Geoff, who is partners with a lovely Swedish woman, Linda (Andersson).
The couple move to northern Sweden and buy a house in the countryside, close to
Linda's scary parents, her negative father, Sten, and her horny mother,
Gunilla. Geoff has had a lot of trouble getting used to Swedish “social democratic”
society.
The script is surprisingly
amusing, although the comic stars of the series, in my opinion, are undoubtedly
Geoff's scary Swedish in-laws. Tonight we hear about a 3-day car ride, which
the two couples take together with little John (Geoff and Linda's young son) to
explore potential places where Geoff and Linda can hold their wedding later in
the year. During the programne we often hear the statistic that 47% of Swedish
marriages end divorce - oh dear!
Geoff and Linda are however encouraged
by the fact that Linda's parents, Sten and Gunilla, are still in love with each
other after approx. 42 years of marriage. Unfortunately, the two Swedes tend to
get "all lovey-dovey" a little too often in front of Geoff and Linda
and the general public, and even when Sten is behind the wheel on the road-trip
and Gunilla is sitting next to him, which goes wildly against the usual respect
that the Swedes have for " health and safety ". My god, what a crazy
world we live in !!!
They visit the potential venues,
starting with a castle owned by a Swedish countess who shows them around the
castle. It turns out that the Swedes are very fond of having a lot of rules. If
you marry in this castle for example, children are forbidden, also music, there
is only 1 bottle of wine per table, and the whole thing has to end by 11pm. Other
places even prohibit alcohol altogether.
20:30 Mari-Ann calls Lois. She
says the day at the church's pop-up shop was disastrous: Geoff and Martin did
not show up to staff the shop, she says. According to Mari-Ann, Hilary, who
opens the shop every morning, tried to call Lois about the problem, but without
success.
Of course, Lois begins to worry
and to feel that this is somehow her fault because she is in charge of the
administrative side of the shop. Lois is puzzled because we did not receive any
phone calls or text messages during the day. Of course we were out of house
between 11:30am and 4pm, but I had my smartphone with me and I checked it every
now and then when we were in the hotel.
After Lois hangs up, I remind her
that Mari-Ann often gets the wrong end of the stick. And later we are told that
Geoff and Martin arrived a little late, but that everything went well. My god, what madness!
Geoff also says that the
"weirdo" (my word), who has the habit of spending most of the day in
the shop, showed up during the morning (10:30am) and a member of the church
went with him when he had his appointment with social services. He does not receive
any daily allowance at the moment because he does not have a proper address -
he lives in a tent in the backyard of the town's Methodist church, but the preacher
has asked him (politely) to piss off.
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzz !!!!!
05:00 I get up early and do one
of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.
I step into the living room and I
notice that there is a cat smell in it that's slightly stronger than normal. We
suspect that Minx, our daughter Alison's cat, whom Alison left behind with us 5
years ago when her family moved to Copenhagen, might have got the habit of
peeing on the carpet just in front of the sliding door leading to the back
garden. My Goodness! Minx is 17 years old and mostly has good physical health,
but we are not so sure that she may not have developed a few mental problems – oh dear,
damn, just like Lois and me ha ha ha.
07:30 I hop into bed with Lois
and we drink our morning tea. We get up and have breakfast.
08:30 We put some disinfectant on
the carpet in the living room, where we suspect Minx has a habit of peeing.
09:00 Lois has to go out.
Mari-Ann drives by to pick her up. They have agreed to help staff the church's
pop-up shop this morning. Also this morning a special campaign will take place
for a couple of hours (11am-1pm), based in the shop, when church members with
clipboards in hand will stand on the pavement in front of the shop and try to
persuade passers-by to enrol in the church's next series of Bible seminars
starting in September.
Lois feels that she can help by
sitting in the shop and making tea and snacks for the church members with the
clipboards. She does not want to stand on the pavement and address passers-by -
she has trouble opening up conversations with strangers - and I have a lot of
sympathy with this view. God, what madness, the whole thing !!!!
I remind Lois that I have the
habit of avoiding talking to people carrying clipboards when I am walking
around the town, or else I tell them I am in a hurry, I have a bus to catch,
etc. She laughs at me, but it’s only sensible !
09:15 I have a little alone time.
I go out into the back garden and cut some of the branches off the shrubs that hang over
the greenhouse and which screen our tomato plants and cucumbers from the sun.
10:15 I come back into the house
and start reading the 12th chapter of Gunnlaug's saga, a 1000-year Icelandic
saga, because Scilla's U3A Old Norse group is holding its next meeting on
Wednesday at the library in the town centre.
I read about the duel between two
Icelandic bards, Gunnlaug and Hrafn. They have agreed to fight a duel to decide
who will have the right to have Helga, Iceland's most beautiful woman. Helga is
currently married to Hrafn, but it is Gunnlaug she is in love with, and she
still refuses to have sex with Hrafn because of her feelings for Gunnlaug. How
exciting life was in Iceland in the 11th century - no doubt about that!
Gunnlaug and Raven, two
Icelandic bards, fight a duel,
to decide who gets the right to have Helga,
the most beautiful woman in Iceland
Eventually they meet and start
the duel. Every man has about 5 friends with him who decide to join in the
brawl and fight duels with members of the other team, so it turns into a big
battle, no doubt about that! Gunnlaug injures Hrafn "mildly" (i.e. he cuts
Hrafn's leg off !!!!) and offers to stop the fight, but Hrafn insists on
carrying on - but he asks Gunnlaug to pick him up with a glass of water first.
Gunnlaug cannot find any glasses, so he brings the water back from the stream in his helmet.
But when Gunnlaug hands Hrafn the
water, Hrafn hits him with his sword and injures him badly - my God. He is not
fighting fair - there's no doubt about that. Hrafn admits that he was not
playing by the rules, but he excuses himself on the grounds that Gunnlaug is
enjoying Helga's hugs and kisses on a daily basis while Helga gives him, her
husband, the cold shoulder, which must have been very annoying, to say the
least !!!
12:00 I hurry into the kitchen
and make two lunches: tuna and mayonnaise sandwiches with cucumber and tomato,
yum yum!
13:30 Lois comes home - Mari-Ann
drops her off in front of the house. We have lunch. She tells me a little bit
about her morning in her church's pop-up shop in the town centre.
It's quite amusing that no one,
apart from Andy, the most active and enthusiastic member of the church's
leadership, showed up this morning to stand on the sidewalk in front of the
shop, with a clipboard in hand, to hail passers-by and encourage them to
enrol in the church's next series of Bible seminars, starting in September.
The church held a business
meeting on Wednesday and all participants said at that time that the clipboards
in front of the shop were an excellent idea when Andy suggested it. But I
suppose everyone secretly hoped others would do the job. They must all have
found out that they had other commitments this morning. Good grief, what
madness !!!!
Lois has a piece of good news (at
least from my point of view). Although Andy would like to keep the shop open
until further notice, maybe for several months, the owner of the shop has told
him that he has found a new tenant: the owner of the Polish delicatessen a
little way down the street is looking for larger premises and is interested in
taking over the property where the church's pop-up shop has been set up. So,
therefore, it is possible that the pop-up shop will have to come to an end in
2-3 weeks' time, which would be a bit of relief from my standpoint. But I must try to
become more charitable ha ha ha!
Lois also says that no church
members have agreed to man the shop on Monday afternoon (a national holiday),
so Andy has decided that the shop must stay closed all day – hurray! A good
piece of news because Lois had agreed to staff the shop on Monday morning. Now
we can both have a day off - hurrah (again)!
14:15 I go to bed and take a
short afternoon nap - zzzzzz !!!!
15:00 Lois pops in at the
neighbour's (Mary) to talk to her a little. She is alone most Saturday
afternoons because Bill, her husband, likes to watch football matches at the
local football ground. Mary suffers from a mild form of dementia, so it helps
her if neighbours and friends pop in and talk to her a little. Lois is so
warmhearted - it's not that easy to talk to Mary because she tends to tell the
identical old stories over and over again. Poor Mary.
15:30 I get up and relax with a
cup of tea on the couch.
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