Tuesday, 30 July 2019

Monday 29 July 2019


Lois and I have only one thing on our to-do list this morning, and we manage to screw it up as usual – oh dear!

Our neighbour Bill, who sadly died about 4 weeks ago, is having his funeral ceremony today. The ceremony is scheduled for 11am, but for some reason Lois has got the idea into her head that it will be taking place at 12:30 pm – and she says later, she thinks she must have mixed the time up with the time of her friend Sheila's funeral which took place at 12:30pm a few weeks ago.

But I blame myself in part, too, because I didn't check up on the time, which was clearly marked with a cross on our wall calendar. I think I've recently become overly laid-back and blasé - in the past I was almost fanatical about checking out all the details of upcoming events: the time, the address, how best to get there and the like, to the point of being annoying to Lois and to everyone else.


part of our wall calendar – the one I failed to look at,
when it came to checking the time Bill's funeral was scheduled for - damn it!

11:30 In all innocence we take the bus into town and head to St.Gregory's, the town’s largest Catholic church, but we find it is deserted, except for 2-3 people who pop into the church, dip their hand in holy water, say a prayer, or make some sort of peculiar holy gestures while looking at the altar or standing in front of it, before finally sneaking out again.

I have never been to a Catholic church in the UK before, only as a tourist in Italy and Hungary. An interesting experience - I suppose Catholics pop in to get some help or encouragement from God if they are having a difficult day, but I'm not entirely sure - the jury is still out on that one.

St Gregory's, the town’s largest Catholic church

Catholics seem to like to pop into a church and dip their hand in holy water -
if they are in the middle of a difficult day perhaps?

If you are raised in a Protestant church, you become accustomed to the notion that you can pray to God from wherever you happen to be, but Catholics may be able to get a better connection in a physical church, in front of an altar and surrounded by statues and the like. I suppose it’s all a bit like different types of internet connection: dial-up, wifi, 3G, 4G, etc., but I'm not too sure about that either. Anyone know?

12:00 Meanwhile, Lois and I wander around a bit nervously inside this huge church, looking at the statues, etc., while we wait for the other guests to show up.

After 10-15 minutes, I get a little worried that no other guests have appeared, and I browse through the church's calendar, which I spot on a table – and I suddenly realise that the funeral ceremony has already taken place and now of course it’s all over.

12:30 We take the bus home and drop in a bit sheepishly next door, where Bill's 2 sons, Neil and Andrew, and Bill's daughter Debbie and her partner Clyde, who live in New Zealand, are already holding the get-together. Most of the guests are Bill's relatives, but Francis and Stephen are also there - Bill's neighbours on the other side, two doors away from us. The dining table is “groaning” with lots of delicious food as a buffet. We talk to a lot of people, and it's warm in Bill's backyard, where the get-together is being held.

Bill's New Zealander son-in-law Clyde tells us that the family plans to sell the house, rather than rent it out, which Lois and I, and also Stephen and Francis, are very happy to hear - it will be friendlier to have permanent new neighbours, rather than a succession of different ones.

He says they got a number of estimates from various real estate agents - and the lowest was still over £400,000 - yikes! But Bill's house has been fully modernised in the fashionable way: an all-in-one kitchen-dining-living-dining area, a master bedroom with its own bathroom, as well as  a family bathroom, and a relatively low-maintenance backyard - just lawns and shrubs: exactly the kind house a couple with kids would opt for.

I myself prefer our separate kitchen, separate dining room, and separate living room thank you very much. It's nice to be able to eat without having to see all the pots and pans waiting to be washed up, and it's nice that one person can watch TV while someone else can do something else in another room, without hearing the television blaring away all the time.

It is true, however, that Lois sometimes wishes we could hold large parties where people stand and chat in one big room, but I’m going to let that one slide - I myself am very happy that our house is not ideal for such events, I have to say ha ha ha.

15:00 Eventually we become tired of all the chit-chat, and we decide to come home and go to bed for a few hours in our daughter Sarah's old room.

The window is wide open, and we can still hear the chit-chat from Bill's relatives in his backyard as we relax in Sarah's old double bed.

Flashback to July 7 - Sarah's old window in happier times
with our backyard to the left, and Bill’s to the right.

We feel like real old crows today, because we got the time of the funeral ceremony wrong – my god, how embarrassing! Although Bill's sons and daughter don't seem to be offended, which is nice. Let's hope we're not late for our own funerals ha ha!

17:00 Alison, our daughter in Haslemere, calls us while we are still in bed - Lois and I hope to visit them in August after returning from a camping holiday in southern France.

We roll out of bed and go for a short walk on the local football field and post a letter in the nearby mailbox.

we go for a short walk on the local football field

19:00 We grab a quick snack dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching a bit of television. An interesting documentary (part 2 of 3) is on, giving the background to the late stand-up comedian Victoria Wood's famous sitcom "Dinnerladies", which used to be one of our favourite sitcoms.


Victoria Wood was a slightly unusual performer, to put it mildly. When her sitcom "Dinnerladies" was recorded in front of a live audience, she decided to be her own warm-up guy. She used to explain that she was a stand-up comedian by profession, so why should she have to pay some other stand-up to warm up the audience?




Standup comedian Victoria Wood was her own warm-up guy
when her "Dinnerladies" sitcom was being recorded in front of a live audience

The sitcom revolved around a bunch of women working in the kitchen of a large cafeteria in a workplace in the north of England. One of the long-running features of the series was that the women did not hesitate to discuss their sex lives quite openly with each other. Lois worked for years in a kitchen for a local nursing home, and she says that this trait about women working together is actually very realistic.





Lois says it is very characteristic of women working together 
to discuss their sex lives quite openly with each other

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzz !!!!!


Danish translation

Lois og jeg har kun én opgave på vores gøremålsliste i formiddag, og vi når at fucke den op, som sædvanligt. Vores nabo Bill, der desværre for omkring 4 uger siden døde, har sit begravelsesceremoni  i dag. Ceremoniet finder sted kl 11, men Lois har af en eller anden grund fået den tanke i sit hoved, at det skal finde sted kl 12:30 – hun synes, hu havde blandet tiden sammen med tiden af sin veninde Sheilas begravelse, der fandt sted kl 12:30 for et par uger siden.

Men jeg bebrejder mig selv delvis også, fordi jeg ikke tjekkede op på tiden, som var tydeligt markeret med et kryds sat i vores vægkalenderen. Jeg synes, jeg for nylig er blevet alt for afslappet og blasé – før i tiden var jeg næsten fanatisk om at tjekke alle detaljerne om kommende begivenheder: tid, adresse og den slags, til det punkt af at irritere Lois og alle andre.


en del af vores vægkalender, som jeg undlod at tjekke,
når det kom til tiden, Bills begravelse blev bestemt til  – pokkers!

11:30 Vi tager bussen ind i byen og går hen til St.Gregory’s, byens største katolske kirke, men vi finder den er mennesketom, bortset fra 2-3 personer, der smutter ind i kirken, dypper hånden i helligt vand, siger en bøn, eller laver mærkelige hellige gestusser mens de kigger på alteren eller står foran den, og til sidst smutter ud igen.

Jeg har aldrig været i en katolsk kirke i Storbritannien før, kun som turist i Italien og Ungarn. En interessant oplevelse – jeg formoder, at katolikere smutter ind for at få lidt hjælp eller opmuntring fra Gud, hvis de er i gang med at opleve  en vanskelig dag, men det er jeg ikke helt sikker på – juryen er stadig ude om det.


St Gregory’s, byens største katolske kirke


Katolikere synes at smutte ind i en kirke og dyppe hånden i helligt vand,
hvis de er midt i en vanskelig dag, mistænker jeg

Hvis man bliver opdraget i en protestant kirke, bliver man vænnet til det begreb om, at man kan bede til Gud fra hvor som helst man kommer til at være, men katolikere måske kan få en bedre forbindelse i en fysisk kirke, foran en alter og omgivet af statuer og den slags. Jeg formoder, at det hele ligner forskellige typer af internetforbindelser:  dialup, wifi, 3G, 4G osv, men det også er jeg ikke helt sikker på.

12:00 I mellemtiden vandrer Lois og jeg rundt lidt nervøst indenfor denne enorme kirke og kigger på statuerne osv, mens vi venter på, at de andre gæster dukker op.

Efter 10-15 minutter bliver jeg lidt bekymret over, at ingen andre gæster er dukket op, og jeg blader igennem kirkens kalender, som jeg får øje på på et bord – jeg bliver pludselig klar over, at begravelsesceremoni allerede fandt sted og nu er det hele slut selvfølgelig.

12:30 Vi tager bussen hjem og smutter ind hos nabohuset, hvor Bills 2 sønner, Neil og Andrew, og Bills datter Debbie og hendes partner Clyde, der bor i New Zealand, er allerede i gang med at holde gravøllet. De fleste gæster er Bills slægtninge, men Francis og Stephen er også der – Bills naboer på den modsatte side af hans hus, to døre væk fra vores. Spisebordet bugner med masser af lækker mad –  en stående buffet. Vi snakker med en masse mennesker, og det er varmt i Bills baghave, hvor gravøllet holdes.

Clyde fortæller os, at familien har planer om at sælge huset, snarere end at udleje det, hvilket Lois og jeg, også Stephen og Francis er meget glade for, at høre – det vil være venligere, at have permanente nye naboer, snarere, end en række forskellige.

Han siger, at de har fået en række vurderinger fra forskellige ejendomsmæglere – og den laveste var stadig over 400.000£ - yikes! Men Bills hus er blevet fuldt moderniseret på den moderigtige måde: et alt-i-ét køkkenområde-spiseområde-stueområde, et mesterværelse med eget badeværelse, udover et familiebadeværelse, og en forholdsvis lav-maintence baghave – bare græsplæn og buske:  præcis det slags hus et par med børn ville optere for.

Jeg selv foretrækker vores adskilte køkken, adskilte spisestue, og adskilte stue thank you very much! Det er rart at kunne  spise uden at måtte se alle de potter og pander, der venter på at blive opvasket, og det er rart, at ét menneske kan se på fjernsynet, mens nogen anden kan gøre noget andet i et andet værelse uden at høre fjernsynet hele tiden.

Det er sandt imidlertid, at Lois nogle gange ønsker vi kunne holde store fester, hvor folk står og snakker i ét stort rum, men det springer jeg over – jeg er meget glad for, at huset er ikke ideelt til sådanne eventer, det må jeg nok sige.

15:00 Vi er blevet trætte af sniksnakken, og vi beslutter at komme hjem og gå i seng i et par timer i vores datter Sarahs gamle værelse. Vinduet åbent på vid gab, og vi kan stadig høre sniksnakken fra Bills slægtninge i hans baghave, mens vi ligger inde i Sarahs gamle dobbeltseng.


Tilbageblik til den 7. juli – Sarahs gamle vindue i lykkeligere tider
med vores baghave til venstre, og Bills til højre.

Vi føler os som ægte gamle krager, på grund af, at vi fik tiden af begravelsesceremoniet forkert – du godeste, hvor pinligt! Selvom Bills sønner og datter synes ikke at være krænket, hvilket er rart.

17:00 Alison, vores datter i Haslemere, ringer til os, mens vi ligger inde i sengen – Lois og jeg håber at besøge dem i  august efter de kom tilbage fra en campingferie i det sydlige Frankrig.

Vi vælter ud af sengen og går en kort tur på den lokale fodboldbane og lægge et brev i den nærliggende postkasse.


vi går en kort tur på den lokale fodboldbane

19:00 Vi snupper en hurtig snack-aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm (2. del af 3), der handler om den standup komiker Victoria Woods berømte sitcom ”Dinnerladies”, én af vores yndlings-sitcoms.



Victoria Wood var en lidt usædvanlig performer, for at sige mildt. Når hendes sitcom ”Dinnerladies” blev optaget foran et live publikum, besluttede hun at være sin egen opvarmer. Hun plejede at sige, at hun var standup komiker af profession, så hvorfor skulle hun betale nogen anden til at opvarme publikummet.




Standup komikeren Victoria Wood var sin egen opvarmer,
når hendes ”Dinnerladies”-sitcom blev optaget foran et live publikum

Sitcommen kredsede om et bundt kvinder, der arbejdede i køkkenet af et stort cafeteria i en arbejdsplads i det nordlige England. En af seriens mest iøjnefaldende egenskaber var, at kvinderne tøvede ikke med at diskutere åbenlyst deres sexliv med hinanden.  Lois arbejdede i årevis i et køkken til et lokalt plejehjem, og hun siger, at denne egenskab om kvinder, der arbejder sammen, faktisk er meget realistisk.






Lois siger, at det er meget karakteristisk for kvinder,
der arbejder sammen, ikke at tøve med at diskutere åbenlyst deres sexliv med hinanden

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzz!!!!!


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