Saturday 27 July 2019

08:00 Panic panic panic! 

Lois and I tumble out of the shower cubicle and drive over to the local Sainsbury’s supermarket to buy a few things for lunch - Lois's 24-year-old grandniece Lauren from Oxford is to spend the day with us to talk about her upcoming stay in the city of Tendo in northern Japan, where she will be teaching English as a foreign language. She actually flies from Heathrow next weekend. I was also 24 years old when I flew to Japan from Heathrow in 1970.

Lauren wants to ask us today about our experiences in the country - I was a student over there in Tokyo between August 1970 and August 1971, and Lois visited me during the year.

This morning we do not have much time to do the shopping because we promised to pick Lauren up at 10:30 at the town’s bus station. Help!

10:30 We pick Lauren up at the bus station and drive her back to our house. We have known Lauren for years of course without getting a good chance to talk to her properly - every time we visit her parents, Ian (Lois' nephew) and his partner Tasha, there is always a lot of noise and interruptions from young children (Lauren’s 7 siblings) and from the TV that is always on in the background.

Lauren, Lois' 24-year-old grandniece

So, it is a little surprising today to find out how articulated and informed Lauren is, and, what's more,  she's informed about a lot of different topics – my god! She hopes to live in Japan for 5 years, if possible, and master the Japanese language. She also tells us that her brother Aidan, who lives next door and has two young children with his partner Beth, is also very interested in Japanese youth culture and can speak a little Japanese on top of that, and will be visiting her soon out there. Good grief, what madness !!!!

12:00 We show her our Japanese slides from 1970-71, which, to my surprise, she is very interested in - and she asks a lot of questions, which is nice. And she does not fall asleep, which is also nice.

flashback to 1971: Lois and me in Japan: happy times !!!

13:00 We sit down in the dining room for lunch - Lois has bought a lot of delicious things this morning in the local Sainsbury’s supermarket. But unfortunately, Lauren forgot to tell us she's a vegan - damn! She ends up eating just lettuce, tomato and the like, with an unbuttered roll of bread - the poor thing!

15:00 I rush into the kitchen to wash up, while Lois and Lauren sit down in the living room and talk about this and that, and I join them a few minutes later. Lois and I have by now said pretty much all we can think of to say about Japan, a lot of which is probably out of date anyway. We turn the conversation to other topics: we find we can talk about anything with Lauren - we can be absolutely sure that she will have an opinion, which is nice.

We talk about film and music streaming, and social media and her concerns over it - she is a teacher and has a responsible attitude towards children which is reassuring. But Lois and I are beginning  to feel a bit tired after 4 hours of chit-chat – something we’re not used to, and we are becoming less and less responsive, I suspect.

I suddenly realise I have no idea when Lauren’s bus home leaves from the bus station, but I feel I can't ask Lauren because it gives the impression that we want her to leave, which would be rude to put it mildly.

16:00 Fortunately, Lauren suddenly looks at her watch and announces that her bus home is leaving from the bus station in exactly 15 minutes’ time - yikes! We slip on our coats and hop in the car - we make the bus station with just 2 minutes to spare – my god!

16:30 Lois and I come home and relax with a cup of tea on the couch. It's been a fun day but a rather tiring one - no doubt about that.

And we discuss what kind of lunch we could have made for Lauren, if we’d known she was vegan: so not just meat, but also eggs, fish, cheese, butter, cream, yogurt etc are all forbidden, including dishes containing these ingredients even in small quantities - a bit of a problem, to put it mildly. So the jury’s still out on that one.

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening listening to the radio, an interesting programme all about anxiety. The programme’s presenter is the charming Andrew Hussey.

Hussey claims that anxiety started only in the 16th century, with increasing individualism: in earlier times, you were just a creature who belonged to someone else - the king, the local nobility, the Catholic church, God etc., so your problems were their problems and it was their job to solve them.

The Greek philosophers, for example, never mentioned anxiety. And Hussey says he never read a text from anyone in the late medieval period who said, "Do you know, I'm so stressed - I can't wait for the Renaissance to begin".

Our problem is that today we tend not to accept anxiety as just a natural part of everyone's life. Anxiety can actually prove to be a very useful resource in a lot of circumstances, he says.

According to Hussey, there are many benefits to anxiety as long as it is kept within limits – those benefits are extra creativity, energy, insight, and self-knowledge. And just like in those online “tests”, where you have to read a squiggle or click on something to prove you’re a real person,  anxiety itself proves we are not robots.

Cults often try to convince their members that they must erase all anxiety, and live in a world without fear, because their faith can answer every question. So what happens? They become robots, says Hussey. We had the example of the Jonestown Massacre (1978), when the leader of the cult told his members they had to kill themselves and they did it. But if they had had just a little trace of anxiety left, they might have worried a bit about it, decided not to do it, and survived.

My favourite "anxiety guru" is not Rev Jim Jones of Jonestown, but the Irish stand-up comedian Dylan Moran who calls people "anxiety’s sock-puppets".

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

08:00 Panik panik panik! Lois og jeg vælter ud af brusekabinen og kører over til det lokale Sainsburys-supermarked for at købe et par ting til frokost – Lois’ 24-årige grandniece Lauren fra Oxford tilbringer dage hos os for at tale om sin kommende ophold i byen Tendo i det nordlige Japan, hvor hun skal undervise engelsk som fremmedsprog. Hun flyver faktisk fra Heathrow næste weekend. Jeg var også 24 år gammel, da jeg fløj til Japan i 1970.

Lauren har lyst til at spørge os i dag om vores oplevelser i landet – jeg var studerende derovre mellem august 1970 og august 1971, og Lois besøgte mig i løbet af året.

I formiddag har vi ikke ret meget tid til at indkøbe, fordi vi lovede at hente Lauren kl 10:30 ved byens busstation. Hjælp!

10:30 Vi henter Lauren ved busstationen og kører hende tilbage til vores hus. Vi har kendt Lauren en masse tid uden at få en god chance for at snakke ordentlig med hende – når vi besøger hendes forældre, Ian (Lois’ nevø) og hans partner Tasha, er der altid en masse støj fra små børn (Laurens 7 søskende) og fra tv-et, der altid er tændt i baggrunden.

Lauren, Lois’ 24-årige grandniece

Så derfor er det lidt overraskende i dag at finde ud af, hvor artikuleret og informeret hun er, og om en masse forskellige emner – du godeste! Hun håber at bosætte sig i Japan i 5 år, hvis muligt, og mestre det japanske sprog. Hun fortæller os også, at hendes bror Aidan, der bor i nabohuset og har to små børn med sin partner Beth, er meget interesseret i japansk ungdomskultur og kan tale lidt japansk oven i købet. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

12:00 Vi viser hende vores japanske dias fra 1970-71, som hun til min overraskelse er meget interesseret i – og hun stiller en masse spørgsmål, hvilket er rart. Og hun falder ikke i søvn, hvilket også er rart.

 tilbageblik til 1971 : Lois og mig i Japan: lykkelige tider!!!

13:00 Vi sætter os i spisestuen for at spise frokost – Lois har købt en masse lækre ting i morges i det lokale Sainsburys-supermarked. Men desværre har Lauren glemt at fortælle os, at hun er veganer – pokkers! Hun ender med at spise bare salat, tomat og den slags, med en brødstykke  – staklen!

15:00 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkent for at vaske op, mens Lois og Lauren sætter sig i stuen og snakke om dette og hint, og jeg slutter mig til dem nogle minutter senere.  Lois og jeg har sagt, alt vi kan tænke på, som handler om Japan, så vender vi samtalen til andre emner: man kan tale om hvad som helst med Lauren – vi kan være helt sikre på, at hun vil have en mening, hvilket er rart. Vi taler om de sociale medier og hendes bekymringer derover – hun er lærerinde, og har en ansvarlig holdning over for børn, hvilker er beroligende. Men Lois og jeg begynder at føle os lidt trætte efter 4 timers snik-snak, og vi er mindre og mindre lydhøre, mistænker jeg.

Jeg indser, at jeg ved ikke, hvornår Laurens bus hjem afgår fra busstationen, men jeg føler, jeg ikke kan spørge Lauren, fordi det giver det indtryk, at vi vil have at hun tager af sted, hvilket ville være uhøfligt, for at sige mildt.

16:00 Heldigvis kigger Lauren pludselig på sit ur, og annoncerer, at hendes bus hjem afgår fra busstationen om nøjagtig 15 minutter – yikes! Vi smutter vores frakker og stiger op i bilen – vi når busstationen med bare 2 minutter tilbage – du godeste!

16:30 Lois og jeg kommer hjem og slapper af med en kop te i sofaen. Det har været en sjov men en lidt trættende dag – ingen tvivl om det. 

Og vi diskuterer, hvad slags frokost vi kunne have lavet til Lauren, nu hvor vi ved, hun er veganer: ikke bare kød, men også æg, fisk, ost, smør, fløde, yoghurt er alle forbudt, herunder retter, der indeholder disse ingredienter endda i små kvantiteter – lidt af et problem, for at sige mildt.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at lytte til radio, et interessant program, der handler om angst. Programmets vært er den charmerende Andrew Hussey.

Hussey påstår, at angst startede bare i det 16. århundrede, med stigende individualisme: i tidligere tider, var du bare et væsen, der hørte til nogen andet – kongen, den lokale adel, den katolske kirke osv, så dine problemer var deres problemer, og det var deres ansvar at løse det.

De græske filosofer, for eksempel, nævnte angsten aldrig. Og han siger, han har aldrig læst en tekst fra nogen i den sene middelalderlige periode, der skrev, ”Ved du, jeg er så stresset – jeg kan ikke vente på, at renæssancen begynder”.

Vores problem er, at vi i dag har tendens ikke at acceptere angst, som bare en del af alles liv. Angst kan faktisk vise sige at være en meget nyttig faktor under mange omstændigheder.

Ifølge Hussey er der mange fordele ved angst, så længe den blive holdt indenfor visse grænser – kreativitet, energi, indsigt, selverkendelse, og, ligesom de der online test, beviser angst, at vi ikke er robotter.

Kulter prøver ofte at overbevise deres medlemmer at de må slette al angst og leve i en verden unden angst, fordi deres tro kan besvare hvert spørgsmål. Så hvad sker der ? De bliver til robotter. Og vi havde eksemplet af Jonestown-massakren (1978), da kultens leder fortalte sine medlemmer, de måtte dræbe sig selv, og de gjorde det. Hvis de havde haft bare en lille smule angst tilbage, ville de måske have overlevet.

Min yndlings-”angst-guru” er ikke Rev Jim Jones af Jonestown,  men den irske standup-komiker Dylan Moran, der kalder folk ”angsts sok-marionetter”.

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzz!!!!