Sunday 30 June 2019

08:00 We tumble out of the shower and try to talk on whatsapp with Sarah, our daughter in Perth, Australia, but unfortunately the connection is not very good - she, Francis, and their soon-to-be 6-year-old twins are out driving home after an excursion to Yanchep.

Sarah calls me again at 10:30 am, after Lois has gone to Tewkesbury, where her sect is holding its regular two worship services.

Sarah and Francis have changed their minds about where the family should buy a piece of land to build their new house on: they are now afraid that Chittering, high up in the Perth hills would be too isolated, and they are leaning towards buying in the popular Yanchep area not far from the coast.

Their current lease in Ocean Reef, between Hillarys and Mindarie, is about to end, and they have to find a new rental house in the next 4 weeks - they plan to move to Yanchep and rent a cheaper house so they have enough money back to pay the mortgage loan for that piece of land etc. "Simples"!

All that means that the family will probably be living in Yanchep next year when Lois and I next visit them, which is nice. The twins will continue to attend their current school in Ocean Reef until the end of the school year (December) before moving to a new school in Yanchep next February.

flashback to February 2018: Lois with the twins

during our recent visit over there, in their current house in Ocean Reef.

11:00 I have a little alone time - Lois will be out attending her services until 2:30 pm or so. I start on cutting back the 7 ft high hedge between our backyard and our neighbour Bob's backyard - a good opportunity because Bob is currently away from home, on holiday in Scotland, so I can stand on my step ladder and look over the hedge without embarrassment. The hedge is quite long - about 75 feet, and today I only cut the first 15 feet before I get bored - I decide to leave the rest of the work for another day. My god, I'm such a lazy bastard!

But it is nice to be able to look over the hedge and see the forbidden kingdom of Bob's backyard, filled with all his kitschy nick-nacks, garden gnomes and the like, and feel superior because our own backyard is in much better taste: Lois and I leave it to nature herself to decorate it in its true colours.

But it would certainly be nice to step into Bob's backyard for once. However he has probably installed some alarm system or other at all the entrances, so I decide not to take the risk.

It reminds me that a video game character recently hit the headlines (source: Onion News) when he was seen staring over a waist-high bush, looking at some forbidden kingdom or other - and I sympathise with that!

Traumatically tortured by the dream of life in the green and abundant land beyond his reach, video game character Ethan spent countless processing cycles on Tuesday staring at the forbidden kingdom stretching across the line of impenetrable waist-high bushes at his feet.

"All my powers, all my abilities, yet I must stop in my tracks, in front of a hedge half my size," said the disappointed hero, who is almost certain that he can discern part of a rare egg, only three rows in front over the bushes in question.

"I have tried everything in my arsenal from the ongoing double-jump to the teleportation spell I bought from the cape-clad travelling merchant, but it all seems in vain. I never thought I would face an obstacle like a chest-high wooden fence just around the corner from my hometown!”.

A desperate and furious Ethan was later arrested for trespassing in nearby strangers’ houses in a desperate search for a town map.

My god, how I do sympathise !!! What a crazy world we live in when video game characters like Ethan are prevented from going anywhere they want – that’s for sure! Hedges tend to take all the fun out of video games, no doubt about that!

Poor Ethan !!!!!

12:30 I sit down with the computer. I design and order a couple of photo books: collections of pictures of our recent mini-holiday in the north of England when we visited Lois' cousin Iris, and stayed for a few days at her nursing home: one photo book for Iris, and the other for ourselves.

the photo book I design and order from snapfish.co.uk

13:30 I have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. Meanwhile, Lois comes back from Tewkesbury - and she starts picking more raspberries in our fruit-garden.

16:00 I get up and we listen a little to the radio, an interesting programme in the series "The Last Word". Lois and I have got into the habit of hearing this programme every week because we want to find out if anyone in the past 1-4 weeks has died or not (I have noticed that most weeks there are only 4- 5 deaths, which is a comfort, to put it mildly). The host of the programme is the charming Matthew Bannister.

Judith Krantz, the famous sex-and-shopping author, recently died, at 91 years of age. Angela Carter once said that reading Judith's novels was like being trapped inside a luxury shopping-mall, being softly pelted with scented sex technique manuals – praise indeed.

The author Judith Krantz, who sadly died recently, at 91 years of age

18:00 We have dinner and afterwards I try to configure my brand new tablet, with limited success. It's fortunate that Mark, our local IT expert, is popping in here on Tuesday afternoon - I can ask him for advice on a lot of the current IT issues I am being plagued with.

The tablet lets me sign on with just a read of my fingerprint, which sounds nice. But it also urges me to link the tablet with my phone, and later I find out that it has somehow managed to change the display when I switch my phone on, so that I don’t know where anything is any more – damn!

It’s not easy being an old crow, to put it mildly !!!!!

I take a little look online at the Danish media. I see that a tree has fallen over in Tivoli, Copenhagen's famous amusement park, sending crowds desperately scattering, although no one was hurt (source: ekstrabladet.com). It is fortunate that the tree fell down over an attraction, and not over a crowded walkway, to put it mildly.

My goodness, what a crazy world we live in, when tall trees like this one can topple down without warning!

It's now just over 6 years since Lois and I were last in Tivoli, with our daughter Alison and family.

flashback to May 2013: Lois and I visit the Tivoli amusement park

with our daughter Alison and her family: husband Ed and their 3 children.

The family lived in Copenhagen between 2012 and 2018. Happy times!!!!

21:00 We spend the rest of the evening watching a bit of television. The latest episode of "Gentleman Jack" is on, a series revolving around the real life Victorian lesbian, Anne Lister (played by Suranne Jones).

Anne wrote copious diary notes, including about her sex life (she used a simple substitution code to hide the most sensitive details), which has allowed the series author to create an authentic depiction of Anne's dramatic lifestyle in the 1830’s just outside the town of Halifax in Yorkshire.

It's nice this week to see Anne try to revive her relationship with one of her exes, Mariana, after her recent "squeeze", Miss Walker, buggered off to Scotland with mental problems.

Anne (left) tries to revive her relationship with her ex, Mariana,

explaining that her recent “fling” with Miss Walker was just "something to do"

because she felt lonely, and that it was now all over

Anne and Mariana seem to become lovers again, and they travel off together to London in Anne's coach, but the idyll does not last very long, and soon they are beginning to fight like schoolgirls again.

They spend the journey fighting over their various of their other "squeezes", and Mariana even criticises Anne for having brought along her massive "thermometer".

Lois thinks Anne's massive thermometer is a bit too cumbersome to bring on vacation, but I’m not sure I agree with her - it reminds me a bit of the earliest cell phones that were so big and heavy, a bit like a brick.

Happy times !!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation: søndag de 30. juni 2019

08:00 Vi springer ud af brusekabinen og prøver at tale på whatsapp med Sarah, vores datter i Perth, Australien, men forbindelsen er desværre ikke særlig god – hun, Francis, og deres snart 6-årige tvillinger er ude at køre hjem efter et udflugt til Yanchep. Sarah ringer mig igen kl 10:30, efter Lois er taget af sted til Tewkesbury, hvor hendes sekt holder sine regelmæssige to gudstjenester.

Sarah og Francis har skiftet mening om hvor familien skulle købe et stykke land til at få bygge deres nye hus på:  de frygter, at Chittering, højt oppe i Perth-bakkerne ville være for isoleret, og de hælder til at købe i det populære Yanchep-område, ikke ret langt fra kysten. Deres nuværende lejekontrakt i Ocean Reef, mellem Hillarys og Mindarie, er ved til at være slut, og de må finde et nyt lejehus om de næste 4 uger – de planlægger at flytte til Yanchep og leje et billigere hus, så de har nok penge tilbage for at betale realkreditlånet til det stykke land osv. ”Simples”!

Alt det der betyder, at familien sandsynligvis vil blive bosat i Yanchep næste år, når Lois og jeg næste gang besøger dem, hvilket er rart. Tvillingerne vil fortsætte med at gå i deres nuværende skole i Ocean Reef til slutningen af skoleåret (december), før de forflytter til en ny skole i Yanchep næste februar.

tilbageblik til februar 2019: Lois med tvillingerne

under vores seneste besøg derovre, i deres nuværende hus i Ocean Reef.

11:00 Jeg har lidt alenetid – Lois vil være ude at deltage i sine gudstjenester indtil kl 14:30 eller deromkring. Jeg går i gang med at klippe hækken mellem vores baghave og vores nabo Bobs baghave – en god lejlighed, fordi Bob for tiden er væk hjemmefra, på ferie i Skotland, så jeg kan stå på min trappestige og kigge over hækken uden pinlighed. Hækken er ganske lange – omkring 100 fods, og jeg klipper i dag kun de første 25 fods, før jeg keder mig af det hele – jeg beslutter at overlade resten af arbejdet til en anden dag. Du godeste, jeg er sådan en doven svin!

Men det er rart at kunne kigge over hækken og se det forbudte rige af Bobs baghave, propfyldt af alle hans kitschede nips, havenisser og lignende, og føler mig overlegen, fordi vores egen baghave kan karakteriseres som havende meget bedre smag:  Lois og jeg overlader det til selve naturen til at pynte den i sine ægte farver.

Det ville være rart at træde ind i Bobs baghave for en gangs skyld, men han har sandsynligvis installeret et eller andet alarmsystem ved alle de indgange, så jeg beslutter ikke at tage risikoen.

Det hele minder mig om, at en videospilkarakter ramte overskrifterne for nylig (kilde: Onion News), da han blev set stirre over en ufarlig taljerhøj busk på et eller andet forbudt rige – og jeg sympatiserer!

Traumatisk torteret af drømmen om livet i det grønne og rigelige land lige uden sin rækkevidde, brugte videospilskarakter Ethan utallige processercykler tirsdag på at stirre ubemærket på det forbudte rige, der strækker sig ud over linjen af uigennemtrængelige taljehøje buske lige foran hans fødder.

"Alle mine kræfter, alle mine evner, men alligevel må jeg standse brat, foran en hække halv min størrelse", sagde den skuffede helt, som næsten er sikker på, at han kan skelne en del af et sjældent æg, kun tre rækker foran sig, ud over den pågældende buske.

"Jeg har prøvet alt i mit arsenal fra det løbende dobbeltpring til den teleportationstrylleformular, jeg købte fra den kappeklædte vandrende købmand, men det virker bare forgæves. Jeg troede aldrig, jeg ville stå over for en forhindring der ville ligne det brysthøje træhegn rundt om hjørnet fra min hjemby!”.

En fortvivlet og rasende Ethan blev senere anholdt for overtrædelse i nærliggende fremmede huse i en desperat søgning efter et bykort.

Du godeste, hvor sympatiserer jeg dog !!! Sikke en skør verden vi lever i, når videospilkarakterer som Ethan bliver forhindret i at gå hvor som helst han vil – det ved jeg med sikkerhed! Hække tager alt det sjovt ud af videospil – det ved jeg med sikkerhed!!!

Stakkels Ethan !!!!!

12:30 Jeg sætter mig med computeren. Jeg designer og bestiller et par fotobøger: samlinger af vores nylige mini-ferie i det nordlige England, da vi besøgte Lois’ kusine Iris og opholdte os i nogle dage på hendes plejehjem, den enen fotobog for Iris, og den anden til os selv.

den fotobog, jeg designer og bestiller fra snapfish.co.uk

13:30 Jeg spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. I mellemtiden kommer Lois tilbage fra Tewkesbury – hun går i gang med at samle flere hindbær i vores frugthave.

16:00 Jeg står op og vi lytter lidt til radio, et interessant program i serien ”Det sidste ord”. Lois og jeg er kommet i vane med at høre dette program hver uge, fordi vi ønsker at finde ud af, om nogen i de seneste 1-4 uger døde eller ej (jeg har bemærket, at der i de fleste uger kun sker 4-5 dødsfald, hvilket er lidt trøstende, for at sige mildt). Programmets vært er den charmerende Matthew Bannister.

Judith Krantz, den berømte sex-og-shopping forfatterinde, døde desværre for nylig, på 91 år. Angela Carter sagde om dét, at læse Judiths romaner var ligesom dét, at blive indspærret inde i et luksus-indkøbscenter, i gang med at blive blødt bombarderet med parfumerede manualer om sex-teknikker. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid !!!!

Judith Krantz, der desværre døde for nylig på 91 år

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad, og bagefter prøver jeg at konfigurere min spritnye tablet, med begrænset succés. Det er heldigt, at Mark, vores lokale IT-ekspert, smutter ind hos os på tirsdag eftermiddag – jeg kan bede ham om råd til en masse IT-problemer.

Jeg kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg ser, at et træ har væltet ned i Tivoli, Københavns berømte forlystelsespark, selvom ingen blev såret. Det er heldigt, at træet væltede ned over en forlystelse, og ikke over en befolket sti, for at sige mildt.

Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i, når høje træer kan vælte ned uden varsel, som det her!

tilbageblik til maj 2013: Lois og jeg besøger Tivoli-forlystelsesparken

sammen med vores datter Alison og hendes famile: Ed og deres 3 børn.

Familien opholdt sig i København mellem 2012 og 2018.

Vi bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser det seneste afsnit af ”Gentleman Jack”, der kredser om en virkelig liv victoriansk lesbisk kvinde, Anne Lister (spillet af Suranne Jones).

Anne skrev rigelige dagbogsnotater, inklusive om sit sexliv (hun brugte en simpel substitutionskode for at skjule de mest følsomme detaljer), hvilket har tilladt seriens forfatterinde til at skabe en autentisk skildring af Annes dramatiske livstil i 1830’erne lige udenfor byen Halifax i grevskabet Yorkshire.

Det er rart at se Anne prøve at genoplive sit forhold til sin eks, Mariana, efter sit nylige ”squeeze”, frøken Walker, er pisset af til Skotland med psykiske problemer.

Anne (til venstre) prøver at genoplive sit forhold til sin eks, Mariana,

og forklarer, at hendes nylige forhold til frøken Walker var kun ”noget at gøre”,

fordi hun følte sig ensom.

Anne og Mariana virker at blive kærester igen, og de begiver sig sammen til London med Annes dagvogn, men idyllen varer ikke ret længe, og de er snart i gang med at skændes som dæmoner igen.

De bruger rejsen på at skændes over deres forskellige andre ”squeezes”, og Mariana kritiserer Anne over, at hun har medbragt sin massive ”termometer”.

Lois synes Annes massive termometer er lidt for byrdefuld til at medbringe på ferie, men det er jeg ikke enig med hende om – det minder mig om de tidligste mobiltelefoner, der var så store og tunge, lidt som en mursten. Lykkelige tider!!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzzzz!!!!