Monday November 25 2019

09:00 Lois and I roll out of bed. We have decided to miss out on our periodic shower - we will just enjoy being dirty one more day - Friday was the last day we hopped into the shower cubicle. But we have no appointments today and no need to go out of the house - the best kind of day, in other words. If only every day could be "a dirty day",  I have to say!

But we are considering hiring local man Nick Dukas, who is famous for being able to wipe down personal trainers in just a few minutes, without the use of sheep dips or the like.

Nick hit the headlines recently (Source: Onion News Local) when he first plucked up the courage to disinfect a few of the local personal trainers at our local gym.

Pointing out that it was just "basic courtesy" to sterilise them for whoever was exercising next, local man Nick Dukas told reporters Thursday that he always makes sure to wipe his personal trainer down after training.

"I sweat everywhere, so it would be pretty rude to not at least clean up the fitness instructor before I hit the locker room," Dukas said as he wiped the surface of the muscular, over six-foot-tall training consultant with a disposable disinfectant cloth - and he explained how repulsive it was to start a training session when your fitness guru was disgustingly smelly and covered in germs.

“Not only is it important to prevent the spread of bacteria and infections, but it only takes two seconds to disinfect his hands and feet. I remember one time I used a guy named Daniel after someone had forgotten to clean him and I got the craziest rash."

At press time, Dukas added that after finally wiping his personal trainer down with a damp cloth, he always makes sure to put him back in the right place on the rack.

Maybe I'll call Dukas later in the day so he can swing by and disinfect us temporarily - just so we can soldier on until tomorrow morning - cool idea, right? !!!

10:00 I sit down at the dining table and read another chapter of Njal's saga, written in Old Norse in Iceland in the 14th century, though the saga and events in it are much older. Scilla's U3A Old Norse group is holding its regular fortnightly meeting here on Wednesday, and this saga is the group's current project.

Njal's saga, Scilla's U3A Old Norse group's current project.

The big feud continues to ravage all of Iceland. And what's more, the feud has escalated big time - now the entire population of Iceland is trying to kill one another. So in short - very exciting to put it mildly!

Sometimes, however, the saga writer decides to give us a brief break between all that blood and guts by the bucket-load, and we take a little time out to hear a little about the country's pet animals, which is nice.

In the current chapter (No. 69), Olaf decides to give his friend Gunnar some gifts after the two men had spent 2 weeks together in the valleys. How heart-warming !!! He gives Gunnar 3 gifts: (1) a gold ring, (2) a coat that Moorkyartan, the Irish King, once owned, and (3) a dog that Olaf had picked up at a yard sale in Ireland.

The dog is called Sam, which is a nice name. And he has the advantage that he only barks at his owner's enemies, and never at friends - and the dog is very intelligent: he can distinguish between enemies and friends just by looking at them – my god, what a clever dog!

Lois and I are not really dog ​​people - I have to admit that. We prefer cats - they are so cuddly, and they are quiet and peaceful for the most part. And you don't have to go for walks with them, which is nice.

Unfortunately, our last cat died in 2018 and we are reluctant to get another one because we go away so often, to visit our 2 daughters, Ali in Haslemere, and Sarah in Perth, Australia.

Flashback to January 2018: Lois with our last cat, Minx, in happier times

But if we ever came to own a dog, we would definitely want it to bark at our enemies and be kind to our friends, and not the other way around: no doubt about that!

The problem for Gunnar, however, could be that he has so many enemies – in ball-park figures around half of Iceland's population - so the sound of his constantly barking dog could start to get on his nerves a little - not to mention his neighbours’ nerves !!! Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

12:30 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. In the meantime, we get a pamphlet through our letterbox publicising details of an upcoming "open day event", organised by the village's local businesses.

A brochure publicising details of an upcoming "open day",

organised by the parish council and local businesses

The village has recently been hit by the closures (or threatened closures) of several local businesses and services - the Kings Arms pub, the post office, the medical centre, etc. - but now the parish council is determined to fight back, it seems. And in this booklet, the council is encouraging local residents to participate in the local businesses' "open day" and continue to support them in the longer run: otherwise we are going to lose them, no doubt about that.

And the news is better now, that’s for sure. The Kings Arms pub has been purchased by Raymond Blanc's restaurant and brasserie chain and is in the process of being refurbished and renovated: the pub will reopen in time for the Christmas season. Also, someone has offered to buy the old post office, and the owner of the village's largest convenience store, Bakery Stores, has decided not to sell up, as he had threatened.

Good news - and it looks like the village will continue to boast three old historic pubs - hurrah!

Until recently Lois and I were afraid that the village was turning into a ghost town.

We are reminded that some ghost town or other in the U.S. recently hit the headlines when the famed world traveller Vic Coyne, who hails from Lodi NJ, became quickly disillusioned during an outing to the area concerned (source: Onion News).

SAGEBRUSH, TX- An excursion to Sagebrush Wild West Ghost Town ended in disillusionment on Saturday, when Lodi, NJ resident Vic Coyne suddenly came to see the "genuine 1873 frontier village" for the fantasy scam, it always was. "I was at first taken aback by the blacksmith’s shop with its concrete frame," Coyne said. "But I finally figured it could be a reconstruction from old photographs in collaboration with a local historical community."

The final blow, Coyne said, was the "old-time" saloon, where the bartender's nameplate read  'Smilin' Joe', and one of the menu choices was 'Old-fashioned Sarsaparilla', with 'Hires Root Beer' in parentheses."

Good grief, there are scams and traps everywhere nowadays, just waiting for the unsuspecting tourist, no doubt about that !!!

16:00 I get up and Lois and I relax with a cup of tea on the couch. I take a look at my smartphone - our son-in-law Ed has asked me to send him periodic Danish vocabulary tests, which sounds like a strange request, but last year Ed and Ali, our daughter, moved back to England after almost 6 years staying in Copenhagen - Ed worked 2012-2018 in the Wolseley company's Scandinavian headquarters over there with a lot of Danish colleagues, and he became fantastically good at talking to them in Danish.

He was laid off in 2018, and since then has taken a number of temporary jobs in England while on the hunt for his "dream job". But he does not want to let his Danish become rusty and that’s why he has asked me to help him. It is no extra work for me because I regularly send Danish vocabulary tests to the members of our U3A Danish group: and it will be easy just to add another addressee.

a recent photo of our daughter Ali with Ed and their 3 children

back in England after 6 years in Copenhagen

It might be a bit of a shame that this first vocabulary list I send him is so full of words revolving around lingerie, but this is simply because in the crime novel our Danish group is reading, we have just reached the chapter where detective cop Flemming and his best friend Dan are rooting around in the dead woman Lilliana's underwear drawer (panties, bras, g-strings and the like), also in her roomie Sally's underwear drawer, trying to differentiate between the possessions of the two women. A bra of 70A (28A in inches), for example, is definitely Sally's, Dan suspects. He had noticed that Lilliana's bosom was “much much bigger” - my god, what madness !!!!

an excerpt from our crime novel, Anna Grue's "The Further You Fall",

where crime cop Flemming and his best friend Dan

go rooting around in the dead woman's underwear drawer

18:00 We have dinner and afterwards we sit down in the living room and talk a little with our daughter Ali on the phone. It's nice, and helpful, to be able to talk to her a little about potential Christmas presents we can buy for Ali and Ed's three children. Ali, however, suspects that it will be difficult to propose ideas over the phone - the kids are always within earshot (the problem with modern-style houses, with their insane lack of partitions ha ha!), so she decides to send us an email instead - my god, what madness !!!!

Lois recently bought a smartphone, and tonight she asks me to download the whatsapp app so she can join her sect's whatsapp chatroom. Until now, she has depended on me to monitor the chat room on her behalf. Yes, I see that I am gradually becoming more and more dispensable now that Lois is entering the smartphone era ha ha ha! Damn !!!!

21:00 We spend the rest of the evening watching some television - the two TV quizzes where Lois and I try to prove that we are not just two stupid old crows with bad memories, by competing successfully with the fresh young brains of the programme's participants . We really enjoy trying to come up with the correct answers to questions that the participants do not have the faintest idea about ha ha!

We come up with 4 such correct answers in the University Challenge, which is not too bad. And I find 2 connections on Only Connect, where participants are challenged to exploit their talents for lateral thinking.

My 2 "triumphs" tonight: the first comes as the participants fail to find the connection between "teller", "cookie", "hunter" and "500".  But it's so “simples” !!!!

My second "triumph": I use my knowledge of pop songs from the 1980’s or thereabouts to work out an excerpt from a pop song's lyrics in the quiz's "missing vowels round". Hooray!

Little things please little minds, my mother used to say ha ha ha!

22:00 We go to bed, dirty but proud ha ha ha - zzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation: mandag den 25. november 2019

09:00 Lois og jeg vælter ud af sengen. Vi har besluttet at gå glip af vores periodiske brusebad – vi vil nøjes med at være beskidte endnu en dag – fredag var den sidste dag vi hoppede op i brusekabinen. Men vi har ingen aftaler i dag og ingen brug for at komme ud at huset – den bedste slags dag, med andre ord. Hvis bare hver dag kunne være ”en beskidt dag” – det må jeg nok sige!

Men vi overvejer at hyre den lokale mand Nick Dukas, der er berømt for at kunne tørre personaltrænere over indenfor et par minutter, uden brugen af fårevaskemiddel eller lignende.

Nick ramte overskrifterne for nylig (Kilde: Onion News Local), da han tog mod til sig og desinficerede et par af de lokale personlige trænere, der arbejder på det lokale motionscenter.

Efter at have påpeget, at det bare var “grundlæggende høflighed” at sterilisere dem for den, der øvede sig næste, fortalte den lokale mand Nick Dukas til journalister torsdag, at han altid sørger for at tørre sin personlige træner over efter træning.

”Jeg sveder overalt, så det ville være temmelig uhøfligt at ikke mindst rense fitnessinstruktøren op, før jeg smutter ind i omklædningsrummet,” sagde Dukas, da han tørrede overfladen af den muskuløse, over seks fods høje træningskonsulent med en engangsdesinficerende klud – og han forklarede, hvor frastødende det var at starte en træningssession, når din fitnessguru var helt ildelugtende og dækket af bakterier.

”Det er ikke kun vigtigt at forhindre spredningen af bakterier og infektioner, men det tager kun to sekunder at desinficere hans hænder og fødder. Jeg kan huske, at jeg engang brugte en fyr ved navn Daniel, efter at én eller anden glemte at rense ham, og jeg fik det vildeste udslæt. ”

På pressetid tilføjede Dukas, at efter at have tørret sin personlige træner over med en fugtig klud, sørger han altid for at sætte ham tilbage på det rigtige sted på stativet.

Måske vil jeg ringer til Dukas senere på dagen, så han kan smutte ind hos os og disinficere os midlertidligt – bare så vi kan fortsætte ufortrødent indtil i morgen tidligt – cool idé, ikke?!!!

10:00 Jeg sætter mig ved spisebordet og læser endnu et kapitel af Njals saga, skrevet på oldnordisk i Island i det 14. århundrede, selvom sagaen og begivenhederne derinde er meget ældre. Scillas U3A oldnordiske gruppe holder dens regelmæssige fjortendagsmøde på onsdag hos os, og denne saga er gruppens nuværende projekt.

Njals saga, Scillas U3A oldnordiske gruppes nuværende projekt.

Den store fejde fortsætter med at hærge hele Island over. Og fejden har eskaleret, for at sige mildt, og nu er hele Islands befolkning i gang med at prøve at dræbe hinanden. Så kort sagt – meget spændende for at sige mildt!

Nogle gange beslutter sagadigteren imidlertid at give os en kort pause mellem alt det der blod og tarm i spandevis, og vi hører lidt om landets kæledyr, hvilket er rart.

I det nuværende kapitel (nr 69) beslutter Olaf at give sin ven Gunnar nogle gaver efter de to mænd havde tilbragt 2 uger sammen i dalerne. Hvor hjertevarmende!!! Han giver Gunnar præcis 3 gaver: en guldring, en kåbe, som Moorkyartan, den irske konge, engang ejede, og en hund, som Olaf fik fat i i Irland.

Hunden hedder Sam, hvilket er rart. Og han har den fordel, at han kun gøer på sin ejers fjender, og aldrig på sin ejers venner – og hunden er meget intelligen: han kan skelne imellem fjenderne og vennerne bare ved at se på dem – du godeste, sikke en klog hund!

Lois og jeg er ikke virkelig hundemennesker – det må jeg indrømme. Vi foretrækker katte – de er lige til at knuse, og de er stille og rolige for det meste. Og man er ikke nødt til at tage ture med dem, hvilket er rart.

Vores sidste kat døde desværre i 2018, og vi tøver med at få en ny, fordi vi tager af sted så ofte, for at besøge vores 2 døtre, Ali i Haslemere, og Sarah i Perth, Australien.

Tilbageblik til januar 2018: Lois med vores sidste kat, Minx, i lykkeligere tider

Men hvis vi nogensinde kom til at eje en hund, ville vi helt bestemt have den til at gø på vores fjender og være venlig overfor vores venner, og ikke omvendt: ingen tvivl om det!

Problemet for Gunnar kunne være imidlertid, at han har så mange fjender – regnet rundt halvdelen af Islands befolkning – at lyden af sin konstant gøende hund kunne starte at gå ham på nerverne – for ikke at nævne hans naboerne nerver!!! Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

12:30 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. I mellemtiden fik vi ind ad brevsprækken en pjece, der offentliggør detaljer om en kommende ”åben dag event”, organiseret af landsbyens lokale forretninger.

En brochure, der offentliggør detaljer om en kommende ”åben dag”,

organiseret af landsbyens kommune og lokale forretninger

Landsbyen er for nylig blevet ramt af lukninger (eller truede lukninger) af flere lokale forretninger og tjenester - Kings Arms-pubben, postkontoret, lægehuset osv -  men nu er landsbyens kommune fast besluttet på at kæmpe imod, ser det ud til. Og med denne pjece opfordrer kommunen lokale indbyggere til at deltage i den ”åbne dag” og fortsætte med at støtte vores lokale forretninger: ellers vil vi miste dem, ingen tvivl om det.

Og nyhederne er bedre nu, ingen tvivl om det. Pubben er blevet købt af Raymond Blancs restaurant og brasserie-kæde og er i færd med at blive istandsat og renoveret: pubben skal genåbnes i tide til julesæsonen. Nogen har tilbudt at købe det gamle postkontor, og ejeren af landsbyens største nærbutik, Bakery Stores, har besluttet ikke at sælge.

Gode nyheder – og det ser ud til, at landsbyen vil fortsætte med at opvise tre gamle historiske pubber – hurra!

Lois og jeg var bange indtil for nylig for at, landsbyen var ved at blive til en spøgelsesby.

Vi mindes om, at en vis spøgelsesby i USA for nylig ramte overskrifterne, da den berømte verdensrejsende Vic Coyne, der bor i Lodi NJ, hurtigt blev desillusioneret under et udflugt til området (kilde: Onion News).

SAGEBRUSH, TX-En udflugt til Sagebrush Wild West Ghost Town sluttede i desillusion lørdag, da Lodi, NJ-indbyggeren Vic Coyne i løbet af to timer kom pludselig for at se den "ægte 1873 grænse landsby" som den fantasi-svindel, den altid var. "Jeg blev først overrumplet af grovsmedjeforretning med dens konkrete skelet," sagde Coyne. "men jeg regnede med, at det kunne være en rekonstruktion fra gamle fotografier i samarbejde med et lokalt historisk samfund."

Det sidste slag, der bragte bageret til at flyde over, sagde Coyne, var den "gammeldags" værtshus, hvor der stod bartenderens navneskilt,  'Smilin' Joe' og et af menuens valg var 'Gammeldags Sarsaparilla'  med 'Hires Root Beer', inden for parentes. "

Du godeste, der er fup og svindel overalt nu til dags, der venter den uforsigte turist, ingen tvivl om det!!!

16:00 Jeg står op og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te i sofaen. Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone – vores svigersøn Ed har bedt mig om at sende ham periodiske danske ordforrådtest, hvilket lyder som en mærkelig anmodning, men Ed og Ali, vores datter, sidste år flyttede tilbage til England efter næsten 6 års ophold i København – Ed arbejdede 2012-2018 i Wolseley-selskabets skandinavske hovedkontor derovre sammen med en masse danske kollegaer, og han blev fantastisk god til at snakke med dem på dansk.

Han blev afskediget i 2012, og siden da har han taget en række midlertidlige jobs i England, mens han er på jagt efter sit ”drømmejob”. Men han har ikke lyst til at lade sit dansk blive rustent og derfor har han bedt mig om at hjælpe ham. Det er ikke ekstra arbejde for mig, fordi jeg regelmæssigt afsende danske ordforrådtest til medlemmerne af vores U3A danske gruppe:  og det vil være nemt at tilføje endnu en adressat.

et nylig billede af vores datter Ali sammen med Ed og deres 3 børn

tilbage i England efter 6 år i København

Det er måske lidt af en skam,at denne 1. ordforrådliset jeg sender ham er så propfyldt af ord, der kredser om dameundertøj, men dette er simpelthen fordi i den krimi-roman, vores grupper er i færd med at læse, er vi netop nået til det kapitel, hvor kriminalpolitimanden Flemming og hans bedste ven Dan er i gang med at rode rundt i den døde kvinde Lillianas undertøjskuffe (trusser, bh’er, g-strenger og den slags), også i hendes roomie Sallys undertøjskuffe for at skelne mellem de to kvinders ejendele. En bh på 70A (28A i tommer) for eksempel er helt bestemt Sallys, mistænker Dan. Han havde mærket et Lillians barm var meget meget større – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

et udrag fra vores krimiroman, Anna Grues ”Dybt at falde”,

hvor kriminelpolitimand Flemming og hans bedste ven Dan

roder rundt i den døde kvindes undertøjskuffe

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bagefter sætter vi os til rette i stuen og snakker lidt med vores datter Ali på telefon. Det er rart, og nyttigt, at kunne snakke lidt med hende om potentielle julegaver, vi kan købe til Ali og Eds tre børn. Ali mistænker imidlertid, at det vil være vanskeligt at foreslå idéer på telefon – børnene er indenfor hørevidde (problemet ved moderne huse, med deres vanvittige mangel på skillevægge ha ha!), så hun beslutter at sende os en mail i stedet for – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Lois har for nylig købt en smartphone, og i aften beder hun mig om at downloade whatsapp-appen, så hun kan deltage i sin sekts whatsapp chatroom. Indtil nu har hun været afhængig af mig til at monitere chatroomet på hendes vegne. Ja, jeg ser, at jeg bliver gradvist mere og mere undværlig, nu hvor Lois er ved at træde ind i smartphone-æraen ha ha ha! Pokkers!!!!

21:00 Vi bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn – de to tv-quizzer, hvor Lois og jeg prøver at bevise på, at vi ikke bare er to dumme gamle krager ved at konkurrere succésfuld med de friske unge hjerner af programmernes deltagere. Vi hygger os meget med at prøve at komme med korrekte svar til spørsgmål, de deltagerne ikke har den fjerneste anelse om ha ha!

quizlistings

Vi kommer med 4 sådanne korrekte svar i University Challenge, hvilket ikke er særlig dårligt. Og jeg finder 2 sådanne forbindelser på Only Connect, hvor deltagerne bliver udfordret til at udnytte deres talenter for lateral tænkning.

Mine 2 ”triumfer” i aften: den første kommer, da det mislykkes deltagerne at finde forbindelsen mellem ”teller”, ”cookie”, ”hunter” og ”500”. Simples!!!!

Min 2. triumf: jeg udnytter min viden om popsange fra 1980’erne til at finde frem til et uddrag fra en popsang i quizzens ”manglende vokale” omgang. Hurra!

Små ting behage små sind, plejede min mor at sige ha ha ha!

22:00 Vi går i seng, stadig beskidte, men med udsigten til et brusebad i morgen tidligt  – zzzzzzz!!!!