Saturday November 9 2019

09:00 The weather girl is saying it's going to rain most of the day today, so Lois and I stay in bed a little longer than usual before hopping into the shower.

No opportunity today to do any gardening, or continue with our mini project of putting the garden to bed for the winter. But Lois has read in her "The Week" magazine that it is a mistake to clear up too much in the garden before winter, especially when it comes to pruning, because insects, birds and small animals such as rodents like the occasional small, wild and slightly overgrown natural area, which sounds like a good description of our backyard. Sometimes ecology is the lazy man’s friend, I have to say ha ha ha!

10:00 I sit down with the computer and I see that Steve, my American brother-in-law, has sent me the web address of an interesting article about a genetic study of the ancient DNA of individuals from Rome and surrounding regions in Italy. It covers human remains dating from the past 12,000 years – yikes, that’s a long time!!!!

These genetic data reveal at least two major migrations to Rome, as well as several smaller but significant population shifts over just the last thousand years. The study shows that the ancient world was constantly in flux, both in terms of cultural and genetic history.

So migration is nothing new. And the cosmopolitan nature of Rome’s population was a phenomenon that started more than 2000 years ago and continued through the rise and the dissolution of the empire. Even in ancient times, Rome was a crucible of various cultures, according to the researchers.

My reaction is to wonder once again how surprising it is that, despite all these different waves of migrations, all European countries speak languages ​​that are basically related to each other, with only 4 exceptions: only Basque in Western Europe, and only Hungarian, Finnish and Estonian in Eastern Europe. What are the chances of that happening, eh?!!!

DNA studies are now in the process of revealing more and more interesting details about our relationships with each other. I recently read another interesting article about this on my go-to news site, the influential Onion News.

AUSTIN, TX - In a groundbreaking finding that could reshape understanding of human ancestry, genealogists from the Federation of Genealogical Societies released a study Friday that revealed that 99 percent of people are not related to anybody cool.

"According to data gathered from hundreds of research institutions worldwide, only about 1 percent of people are even remotely related to anyone who is remotely funny or interesting," concluded a report published in the journal FORUM. The report added that advances in DNA testing methods have now given genealogists the most comprehensive picture ever of how few people are in any way related to a really cool person.

“Our findings were consistent across ethnic groups and time periods, confirming that population increases, mass migrations and industrialisation had virtually no impact on the percentage of people worldwide who were not complete dweebs or total losers.

The report also found that out of the people who were actually related to someone cool, 60 percent were the descendants of a totally badass Neanderthal who once killed a mastodon with a blazing spear.

My goodness, how fascinating!  But a little disappointing at the same time, I have to say.

The purpose of studying one's family history is, of course, first and foremost to find an interesting ancestor, as the researchers have revealed. My mother thought we had a medieval Welsh prince amongst our ancestors, but I always had doubts myself - the research in question was done by my mother's cousin, Howell, and it patently lacked any conclusive evidence in my opinion, but I cannot be absolutely sure about that, I have to admit. So the jury is still out on that one.

The Welsh are a romantic people who sometimes let their hearts rule their heads, but I’m going to let that one slide, because all in all they tend to be more warm-hearted than the English, which is a bonus, I have to say!

But aren’t DNA and genealogy totally fascinating subjects! Who would want to study anything else ???? !!!!

12:00 Lois and I have lunch, and afterwards I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. I get up at 4 pm and we relax with a cup of tea and a biscuit on the couch.

17:00 I sit down with the computer and prepare a Danish vocabulary test that I want our U3A Danish group members to take in their spare time, at some time or another before our next fortnightly group meeting, which will take place here on Thursday, November 21st. I am so demanding ha ha ha!

The correct answers to the test spell out one of our favourite stand-up comedian Tim Vine's famous one-line jokes, "I once did a gig in a fertility clinic - I got a standing ovulation". Not one of his best - I have to admit, but I’m going to let that one slide because Tim is currently going through a very painful period in his life: his radio chat show is taking  an alleged "6-week" break and he finds it hard not to tell jokes for more than a few minutes at a time ha ha ha!

an anxious Tim Vine, a once busy comedian, seems to be always on the phone nowadays

since his radio chat show was officially taken off the air on a "temporary" break

- but is it actually the end of his career? That's what the jury is still out on.

We will have to see!!!

Incidentally, the correct answers to the test are top secret until 3 pm on November 21, needless to say ha ha ha!

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching a bit of television, the November 1st episode of “Harry Hill’s Clubnite”.

It's very nice tonight to see a performance by mine and Lois's favourite sit-down comedian, Mat Ewins. 

Lois and I didn't previously know that Ewins, in addition to his career as a sit-down-comedian, is very into ecology, which is nice.

Ewins has found out that the biggest threat to our environment is that we are all now living too long. And it is important, he says, that we now start to think a bit about population control. He has done some research on what kind of people live the longest, and it turns out it's older people.

He says that some people claim he hates elderly people, but he denies this. He is actually the owner of "Pension Planet", the world's best underwater amusement park for the elderly. The park features a mega-bingo area, apparently, also a "scare lift" that zooms down at a crazy 2 miles per hour.

And Ewins knows that older people love to pee, so there is a toilet every 10 yards. And the whole park lies beneath a giant ecological, geodesic dome, under the waves.

Ewins makes a habit of standing on the beach every day to give older people directions to his theme park, which is a good idea.

It's a little disappointing, though, that a section of tonight's studio audience has obviously tried to find Ewins's amusement park without success, and they take the opportunity tonight to physically assault him at the end of the show, which is a bit of a shame. In response he presses the button on his "Werthers Original" security alarm unit, but unfortunately the old crows are too fast for him.

Lois and I are both old crows, but as it happens, neither of us can stand "Werthers Originals" or similar sweets or candies, so tonight we feel particularly proud of ourselves - no Werther security alarm unit would be effective if we ever decided to assault a sit-down comedian – that’s something we have no doubts about!

And we like the sound of Ewins's theme park, we have to say! Fortunately, we have noted the park's phone number, and we can inquire about it later in the week. We'll see if we can get a couple of tickets.

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation: lørdag den 9 november 2019

09:00 Vejrpigen siger, der kommer til at regne størstedelen af dagen i dag, så Lois og jeg bliver liggende i sengen lidt længere, end normalt, før vi hopper op i brusekabinen.

Ingen mulighed i dag for at lave lidt havearbejde og fortsætte med vores mini-projekt med at putte haven i seng til vinteren. Men Lois har læst i sin ”The Week”-tidskrift, at det er en fejl at rydde op for meget i haven før vinteren, fordi insekter, fugle og små dyr godt kan lide en lille vild og overgroet naturområde, hvilket lyder som en god beskrivelse af vores baghave. Nogle gange er økologi det dovne menneskes ven – det må jeg nok sige ha ha ha.

10:00 Jeg sætter mig med computeren, og jeg ser, at Steve, min amerikanske svigerbror, har sendt mig url’en på en interessant artikel om en genetisk undersøgelse af det antikke dna fra individer fra Rom og nærliggende regioner i Italien over de sidste 12.000 år.

Disse genetiske data afslører mindst to større migrationer til Rom, samt adskillige mindre men betydelige befolkningsskift over bare de sidste tusinde år. Undersøgelsen viser, at den antikke verden var konstant i flux, både med hensyn til kultur og genetisk historie.

Migration er ikke noget nyt. Den kosmopolitiske befolkning i Rom var et fænomen, der startede for mere end 2000 år siden og fortsatte gennem stigningen og opløsningen af imperiet. Selv i antikken var Rom en smeltedigel af forskellige kulturer, ifølge forskerne.

Min reaktion er at undre mig endnu engang til, hvor overraskende det er også, at på trods af alle disse forskellige indvandringsbølger taler alle de europæiske lande sprog, der grundlæggende er beslægtede til hinanden, med kun 4 undtagelser: kun baskisk i Vest-Europa, og kun ungarsk, finsk og estisk i Øst-Europa.

Dna-studier er nu til dags i gang med at afsløre flere og flere interessante detaljer om menneskehedens forhold til hinanden. Jeg læste for tiden endnu en interessant artikel i mit go-to nyhedswebsted, den indflydelsesrige Onion News.

AUSTIN, TX - I en banebrydende konstatering, der kunne omforme forståelsen af ​​menneskelige aner, offentliggjorde slægtsforskere fra Federation of Genealogical Sociations en undersøgelse fredag, der afslørede, at 99 procent af mennesker ikke er beslægtet  til nogen cool.

"Ifølge data samlet fra hundreder af forskningsinstitutioner hele verden over er kun ca. 1 procent af mennesker nogensinde at have været beslægtet til nogen, der er fjernt sjov eller interessant," konkluderede en rapport, der blev offentliggjort i tidsskriftet FORUM. Rapporten tilføjede, at fremskridt i DNA-testmetoder nu har givet slægtsforskere det mest omfattende billede nogensinde af, hvor få mennesker på nogen måde er beslægtet til en rigtig cool person.

”Vores resultater stemmede overens på tværs af etniske grupper og tidsperioder, og bekræfter, at befolkningsstigninger, massemigrationer og industrialisering næsten ikke havde nogen indflydelse på procentdelen af ​​mennesker over hele verden, der ikke var komplette dweebs eller totale tabere.

Rapporten fandt også, at ud af de mennesker, der faktisk var beslægtet til nogen sej, stammede 60 procent fra en totalt badass-neandertaler, der engang dræbte en mastodon med et flammende spyd.

Du godeste, fascinerende, men lidt skuffende samtidigt. Formålet med at studere ens familiehistorie er selvfølgelig først og fremmest at finde en interessant forfader, som forskerne har afsløret. Min mor troede, at vi havde en middelalderlig walesisk prins blandt vores forfædre, men det havde jeg selv altid mine tvivler om – den pågældende forskning blev foretaget af min mors fætter, Howell, og manglede konklusive beviser efter min mening, men det er jeg ikke helt sikker på. Juryen er stadig ude om det.

Waliserne er et romantisk folk, som nogle gange lader deres hjerter regere deres hoveder, men det springer jeg over fordi de alt i alt er tilbøjelige til at være mere varmhjertede, end englænderne, hvilket er rart, det må jeg nok sige!

Men er genealogi ikke helt fascinerende! Hvem ville ønske at studere noget andet????!!!!

12:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 16 og vi slapper af med en kop te og en kiks i sofaen.

17:00 Jeg sætter mig med computeren og udarbejder en dansk ordforrådtest, som jeg vil have vores U3A danske gruppes medlemmer til at tage i deres fritid, på ét eller andet tidspunkt før vores  næste fjortendags gruppemøde, der finder sted torsdag den 21. november. Jeg er så krævende ha ha ha!

De korrekte svar til testen staver én af vores yndlings-standup-komiker Tim Vines berømte én-linje vittigheder, ”I once did a gig in a fertility clinic – I got a standing ovulation”. Ikke én af hans bedste – det må jeg indrømme, men det springer jeg over, fordi Tim i øjeblikket går igennem en meget smertefuld periode: hans radio-chatshow tager en ”6-ugers” pause, og han har svært ved ikke at fortælle vittigheder i mere end et par minutter ha ha ha!

Tim Vine, en engang travlt komiker, altid i telefonen nu til dags,

nu hvor hans radio-chatshow officielt tager en ”midlertidlig” pause

– men er det faktisk enden på hans karriere? Det er juryen stadig ude om.

Vi får se!!!

For øvrigt er de korrekte svar til testen tophemmelige indtil kl 15 den 7. november, unødvendigt at sige ha ha ha!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn, den 1. novembers afsnit af Harry Hills Clubnite.

Det er meget rart i aften at se en præstation af Lois’ og min yndlings-sitdownkomiker, Mat Ewins. Ewins, udover sin karriere som komiker, går højt op i økologi, hvilket er rart.

Ewins har fundet ud af, at den største trussel mod vores miljø er, at vi alle lever for lang tid. Og det er vigtigt, siger han, at vi begynder nu at tænke på befolkningskontrol. Han har gjort lidt forskning om, hvad slags mennesker lever længste tid, og det viser sig, at det er ældre mennesker.

Han siger, at nogle påstår, at han hader ældre mennesker, men det benægter han. Han er faktisk ejeren af ”Pension Planet”,  verdens bedste undervandsforlystelsepark for de ældre. Parken fremviser et megabingo-område, også en ”rædselslift”, der glider ned på en skræmmende 2 miles i timen.

Og Ewins ved godt, at ældre mennesker elsker at tisse, så der findes et toilet hver 10 yards. Og det hele ligger under en kæmpe økologiske, geodesiske kuppel, under bølgerne.

Ewins har for vane at stå på stranden hver dag for at give ældre mennesker retninger til sin forlystelsepark, hvilket er rart.

Det er lidt skuffende imidlertid, at en sektion af aftenens studie publikum åbenbart har prøvet af finde Ewins’ forlystelsespark uden succés, og de benytter lejligheden til at overfalde ham fysisk ved slutningen af showet, hvilker er lidt af en skam. Han trykker på sin "Werthers Original"-sikkerhedsalarmenhed, men de gamle krager er desværre for hurtige for ham.

Lois og jeg er begge to gamle krager, men tilfældigvis kan vi begge to ikke fordrage ”Werthers Originals” eller lignende slik, så vi føler os i aften særligt stolte af os selve – ingen Werthers sikkerhedsalarmenhed ville være effektiv, hvis vi besluttede at overfalde en sitdownkomiker – det har vi ikke nogen tvivl om!

Men vi kan godt lide lyden af Ewins forlystelsespark, det må vi nok sige! Heldigvis har vi noteret parkens telefonnummer, og så kan vi forhøre so om det senere på ugen. Vi får se, hvis vi kan få os billetter.

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzz!!!!