Danskcolin: Monday 15 January 2018

09:00 We get up. Lois has much less pain in the foot today - it's almost back to normal. And she has not had problems with her digestive system for several days, thank god.

11:00 I get started with replacing the 5th burned out electric bulb in our bathroom ceiling. I have to set up the step-ladder in the shower cubicle to do that - I use two bath mats so the ladder does not slip and does not damage the shower floor.

Now all 6 bulbs are working, and the new bulbs are much brighter than the old ones - hurrah, result! Back of the net!

I just hope that I will not have to replace them again before we die or move elsewhere - I know that for sure !!!!! This system - ceiling mountings and all that - it's the stupidest one I've ever come across - give me the good old-fashioned system any day!

all 6 bulbs are working now - hurrah!

But I've become more confident about ladders, thanks to this ordeal, which is not an uncommon thing in our neighborhood, and local journalists are always keen to hear fresh news stories about men (and women) on ladders.

A local man, Donald Simonds, hit the local headlines about twelve years ago, when three days after he started painting his house, he became a bit cocky with his 12-foot aluminum ladder.

"When he started his project, he would go real gingerly up the steps and brace himself with his hands all the way," said neighbor Earl Pickett. "Now three days later he's climbing up from the wrong end carrying three paint cans at once, standing on the top step of the thing. I even saw him steady himself and do acrobatics with one foot on a windowsill."

Pickett said he just hopes that Simond's smug way of performing light acrobatics on the ladder will not get him hurt. We hope so too - Simonds has become a bit of a local celebrity and Lois and I have often seen him in the middle of his acrobatic performance when we are on the way to the convenience store and, in our opinion, the whole thing has now turned into a form of rather unpleasant exhibitionism. Sooner or later he will overdo it, we think.

Lois asks me if I want her to call the local newspaper to tell them about my growing self-confidence on top of a step-ladder, but I answer no, a little reluctantly. I do not want to be in the media spotlight again or to be besieged by local journalists. Deep inside I'm a pretty bashful guy.

13:00 Lunch and afterwards a giant afternoon nap.

16:00 I help Lois to delete some of her computer files. Her family tree is in several different folders, and some of them, she does not need any more. The first step is to delete the unnecessary files, and the second will be to move the remainder into a single family tree folder, so we can download them onto a usb memory stick for safety's sake.

17:00 I take a little look online. I find Morten Ingemann's latest comic strip. My goodness! I get a bit of a shock.

The Dane, Ingemann, is my favorite cartoonist - no doubt about that! He is especially interested in ugly, overweight, middle aged or older people, the kind of people rarely given attention by most artists.

The Dane, Morten Ingemann, my favorite cartoonist

Ingemann is one of my most important sources when it comes to understanding Danish society. But I think that today he is showcasing a problem that transcends national borders and affects all those who are getting on in years. And often Ingemann can shed light on two or more problems in the same story line, which is great.

I suspect that it is not only a problem in Danish society but also in many other countries that supermarkets have experienced a loss of revenue due to a worrying new phenomenon: the increasing popularity of small local stores.

Ingemann, as always, has noticed this new trend, and in today's comic strip he gives his unique personal take on the crisis.

We see a middle aged couple in the bedroom. The man is in bed and reading his bedtime book. The woman is putting on a transparent nightgown. She is a little overweight, to put it mildly. She asks the man if he still loves her. She says she knows she's let herself go a bit. The man reassures her: he says it's no big deal - because the butcher, the baker, etc. love her, and I suspect that the couple both slept well that night after the man's comforting words, which is a nice thought.

But Ingemann's worrying subtext is: what will become of us if more and more supermarkets go bankrupt? Good job, Morten! He certainly has his finger on the pulse - no doubt about that!

18:00 We have dinner and watch some television, an interesting documentary about the Irish writer James Joyce. The host of the program is the charming Anjelica Huston.

Very interesting. Joyce left Dublin as a young man, never returning, even though he went on to write about Ireland and Dublin his entire life. He was still a British citizen when he died, which surprised me, although he never visited Britain as far as I know. He was a citizen of the world, no doubt about that.

He rejected Irish society (although not ordinary Irish people) and the country's religion: "a shout in the street" was his description of God. Ireland was then so different from Britain. I'm not surprised at all that they fought to get independence - good grief!

I especially admire Joyce's attention to detail in his novels, and his desire to be accurate and realistic all the time. When he was writing "Ulysses", he wanted to be sure that Bloom could jump to the ground from a railing at the back of 7, Eccles Street, Dublin. So he wrote a letter to his aunt in Dublin, asking her to go to the property and check it out.

Joyce was a very careful writer and he polished up

his text over and over again.

he wrote a letter to his aunt in Dublin and asked her to check,

if it was physically possible for Bloom to jump to the ground from a certain railing.

My god - what a madness !!!

During the program, we hear the opinions of many of Joyce's admirers, and I cannot help noting that many of them look like Joyce physically.

James Joyce

actor Dominic West and critic Fintan O'Toole,

two of Joyce's admirers, who seem to look like him a little, I think.

some other admirers of Joyce

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation

09:00 Vi står op. Lois har meget mindre ondt i foden i dag – den er næsten vendt tilbage til det normale. Og hun har ikke haft problemer med sit fordøjelsessystem i flere dage, gudskelov.

11:00 Jeg går i gang med at udskifte den 5. udbrændte elektriske pære i vores badeværelsesloft. Jeg er nødt til at opsætte trappestigen i brusekabinen for at gøre det – jeg bruger to bademåtter, så stigen ikke glider og ikke beskadiger brusekabinens gulv.

Nu fungerer alle 6 pærer, og de nye pærer er meget lysere, end de gamle – hurra, resultat! Bolden er i nettet!

Jeg håber bare på, at jeg ikke bliver nødt til at udskifte dem igen, før vi dør eller flytter andetsteds – det ved jeg med sikkerhed!!!!! Dette system – loftlysmonteringer og alt det der - er det dummeste, jeg nogensinde har faldet over – næ må jeg så be’om det gode gammeldags system!

alle 6 pærer fungerer nu – hurra!

Men jeg er blevet mere selvsikker på stiger, takket være denne prøvelse, hvilket ikke er ualmindeligt i vores nabolag, og lokale journalister er altid ivrige efter at høre om friske nyheder om mænd (og kvinder) på stiger.

En lokal mand, Donald Simonds, ramte de lokale overskrifter for ca. 12 år siden, da tre dage efter han begyndte at male sit hus, blev lidt arrogant med sin 12-fods aluminium stige.

"Da han påbegyndte sit projekt, ville han bevæge sig satans forsigtigt op ad trinene og stemme hænderne mod stigen hele vejen," sagde naboen Earl Pickett. "Nu tre dage senere klatrer han op fra den forkerte ende og bærer tre malerkasser ad gangen og står på det øverste trin. Jeg så selv ham balancere og udføre akrobatiske øvelser ved at lægge en fod på vindueskarmen."

Pickett sagde, at han bare håber, at Simonds selvtilfredse måde, at lave lette akrobatnumre på stigen på, ikke får ham til at komme til skade. Det håber vi også på – Simonds er blevet lidt af en lokal kendis, og Lois og jeg har ofte set ham i gang med sine akrobatiske præstationer, når vi er på vej til nærbutikken, og efter vores mening er det hele nu blevet til en form for lidt ubehagelige ekshibitionisme. Før eller senere kommer han til at tage overhånd, synes vi.

Lois spørger mig, om jeg vil have hende til at ringe til den lokale avis, for at fortælle dem om min stigende selvtillid på toppen af en trappestige, men jeg svarer nej, lidt modvilligt. Jeg har ikke lyst til at være i media rampelyset igen, eller at blive bestormet af lokale journalister. Jeg er inderst inde en ganske genert fyr.

13:00 Frokost og bagefter en gigantisk eftermiddagslur.

16:00 Jeg hjælper Lois med at slette nogle af hendes computerfiler. Hendes familietræfiler er i flere forskellige mapper og nogle af dem har hun ikke brug for mere. Første skridt er at slette de unødvendige filer, og det andet vil være at flytte resten i en enkelt familietræmappe, så vi kan downloade dem på en usb stik for en sikkerheds skyld.

17:00 Jeg kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg finder Morten Ingemanns seneste tegneseriestribe. Du godeste! Jeg får lidt af et chok.

Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner

Ingemann er en af mine vigtiste kilder, når det kommer til at forstå det danske samfund. Men jeg synes, at han i dag for en gangs skyld synliggør et problem, der overtræder nationale grænser, og påvirker alle dem, der er godt oppe i årene. Ofte kan Ingemann kaste lys over to eller flere problemer i samme historielinje, hvilket er flot.

Jeg mistænker, at det ikke er kun et problem i det danske samfund, men også i mange andre lande, at supermarkeder har oplevet et tab i omsætning på grund af et bekymrende nyt fænomen: den stigende popularitet af små lokale butikker.

Ingemann har, som altid, bemærket denne nye trend, og i dagens tegnestribe give han sin unikke personlige kommentar til krisen.

Vi ser et midaldrende par i soveværelset. Manden ligger inde i sengen og læser sin sengetidbog. Kvinden er i gang med at tage en gennemsigtig natkjole på. Hun er lidt overvægtig, for at sige mildt. Hun spørger manden, om han elsker hende stadig. Hun siger, hun ved godt, at hun har lagt sig lidt ud. Manden beroliger hende: han siger, at det ikke er lige meget – fordi slagteren, bageren osv elsker hende, og jeg mistænker, at parret den nat sov godt, begge to, efter mandens trøstende ord, hvilket er en rar tanke.

Men Ingemanns bekymrende undertekst er: hvad skal der blive af os, hvis flere og flere supermarkeder går i konkurs? Godt klaret, Morten! Han har helt bestemt fingeren på pulsen– ingen tvivl om det!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og ser lidt fjernsyn, et interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om de irske forfatter, James Joyce. Programmets vært er den charmerende Anjelica Huston.

Meget interessant. Joyce forlod Dublin som en ung mand og aldrig tog tilbage, selvom han skrev om Irland og i sær byen Dublin hele sit liv. Han var stadig en britisk borger, da han døde, hvilket overraskede mig, selvom han aldrig besøgte Storbritannien, så vidt jeg ved. Han var borger af verden, ingen tvivl om det.

Han afviste det irske samfund (selvom ikke almindelige irske mennesker) og landets religion: ”et råb i gaden” var hans beskrivelse af Gud. Irland var dengang så anderledes, end Storbritannien. Jeg er slet ikke overrasket, at de bekæmpede for uafhængighed – du godeste!

Jeg beundrer i sær Joyces opmærksomhed til detaljer i sine romaner, og hans lyst til at være akkurat og realistisk hele tiden. Da han var i gang med at skrive ”Ulysses”, ville han være sikker på, at Bloom kunne godt springe til jorden fra en rækkeværk bag Ecclesgade 7, i Dublin. Så derfor skrev han et brev til sin tante i Dublin, og bad hende om at går rundt til ejendommen og tjekke.