Danskcolin: Saturday 6 January 2018

04:00 I get up early and take a little look online. I find Morten Ingemann's latest comic strip. My goodness! I get a bit of a shock.

The Dane, Ingemann is my favorite cartoonist - no doubt about that! He is especially interested in ugly, overweight, middle aged or older people, the kind of people rarely paid attention to by most cartoonists.

Danske Morten Ingemann, my favorite cartoonist

Ingemann is one of my most important sources when it comes to understanding Danish society. But I think that today he showcases a problem that transcends national borders and affects all those who work in the massage industry. Ingemann can often shed light on two or more problems in the same story-line, which is nice.

It is a longstanding problem in Danish society that immigrants do not want to master the difficult Danish language, and prefer to use English, because so many Danes speak English so well, almost like a second mother tongue.

A more international problem that transcends borders is the desire for immediate gratification. Steve, my American brother in law, recently sent me details of a new book, "Fire and Fury", about Trump's leadership style in the White House. Many observers have commented that Trump is a bit like a little child, always after instant gratification.

In today's cartoon strip, we see two Thai masseuses at a massage clinic and a middle aged overweight customer. The customer is clearly Danish, but the women insist on speaking to him in English and the poor Danish customer is forced to answer in English.

The massage is about to begin. The two women ask him if he wants them to finish with a "happy ending", but the customer answers, that he would rather have a "happy start". What madness!

In my opinion, it's a bit of shame that people in the modern world are so impatient and cannot wait for things to be done in the right order, but I'm going to let that one slide. I belong to a long-vanished world and that's where my problem lies!

10:00 Another cold day, so we stay home and work on our shiny new "impossible" jigsaw puzzle: two pictures of London's Waterloo train station.

The top half of the puzzle depicts the railway station during the war, and the lower half, the railway station in peace time.

Lois has unfortunately restricted me to the wartime picture, which I'm not very happy about - it's darker due to the blacking-out of windows etc, and despite some naval uniforms, the men are mostly soldiers in khaki uniform, which does not help. Damn! This jigsaw puzzle is getting to be a bit of a nightmare, no doubt about that !!

Later in the day, at nightfall, we pose for photographers

and journalisst, eager to check on our progress

Later still, at blog press-time, sources are beginning to confirm that even more progress has been made. However, according to jigsaw puzzle experts, the disadvantage now is that the most difficult parts of the puzzle (i.e. the roof area - Ed) are still mostly untouched. In other words, the nightmare continues - yikes !!!!

Slightly more progress can be reported, but the railway station's roof area

remains largely untouched: in other words, the nightmare continues - yikes !!!!

18:00 We have dinner and watch television: an exciting crime drama, starring Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr Bean), as the famous French detective, Maigret.

An entertaining crime drama, set in the 1950s in Paris. It is interesting that the programme makers have had the courage to make the program authentic to the habits of the times. We see a lot of people smoking (a rare sight now on tv), and ashtrays tend to be overflowing. Maigret himself (Rowan Atkinson) smokes his famous pipe of course.

We also hear occasional anti-Semitic, sexist or homophobic comments from policemen and witnesses (not from Maigret himself, who is portrayed as laconic, soft-spoken, but essentially sympathetic and charitable). These homophobic etc remarks however reflect the realities of life in the 1950s

The drama plays out in the 1950s in Paris,

and we hear occasional anti-semitic, sexist or

homophobic comments from characters in the drama,

including Maigret's assistant, detective Janvier.

We are in the 1950s and a nightclub owner is allowed

to touch his dancers in any way he wants.

My god, what madness !!!!

Lois and I think that Rowan Atkinson himself gives a convincing performance as Maigret. It must have been difficult for him to avoid a style that would have reminded the television viewers too much of his familiar role as Mr Bean. He also had to avoid a style that would invite comparisons with the famous comic figure "Inspector Clouseau", as interpreted by the late Peter Sellers.

21:00 Lois and I chat a little about Atkinson's huge influence in the television world in Britain. We enjoyed both Atkinson's performances in Mr. Bean, also in Blackadder, which appeals to us because of our shared interest in history.

Atkinson's old roles are still very popular in our neighborhood, most famously in the case of two students who hit the local headlines some years ago, best friends Marc (Morrell) and Justin (Rotham). Like many best friends, Marc and Justin have similar tastes and love The Simpsons, Kurt Vonnegut and the BBC series Black Adder.

Flashback to 2001: local best friends Marc and Justin:

"I love Rowan Atkinson as Blackadder," Justin said. "But I can't even look at Mr. Bean. It's okay, but it's not as if Atkinson is still in his prime."

"I'm not surprised Justin would say that," Marc said later. "He had never even heard of Blackadder before I got him into it. Now he's apparently the world's greatest expert (!)"

The two best friends recently hit the local headlines when journalists discovered that each considered the other as his sidekick (report, May 30, 2001: source - Onion Local).

This mutual side-kick system was apparently working well for both parties, although there were allegedly disadvantages as well." Justin is a good guy and all that, but sometimes it's hard to make approaches to babes when he's always hanging on my sleeve," Marc said. "Last weekend, for example, we were at this house party and I was trying to chat up this cute girl Amy from my psychology class and he wouldn't leave my side for a second."

Justin expressed similar frustration over his friend's dependence on him in social situations. "Without me, he would never even talk to girls," Justin said. "He depends on me steering the babes his way. Normally I'm happy to help, but now and then it would be good if he could make things happen by himself."

"The guys are kind of cool in their own way, but mostly they are dorks," said Renee Callahan, a mutual friend of the two young men. "I mean, they go everywhere together, have all these retarded in-jokes and even dress almost identically. But they have in common their total lack of success with the babes."

It may be that the mutual side-kick system was not working as well as the men thought, and as far as I know, these two local men are still unmarried.

It is interesting that in tonight's "Maigret" episode, Chief Inspector Maigret was forced at one point to put his assistant, Janvier, in his place, after Maigret ordered Janvier to go out and search for a male prostitute while he, Maigret, sat and interviewed lightly clad strippers at a local nightclub. My god, what madness !!!!

Criminal Investigator Maigret puts Janvier, his assistant

in his place: things seem better when there is only one boss

and one sidekick - no doubt about that, especially in the police force !!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz !!!!

Danish translation

04:00 Jeg står tidligt op og kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg finder Morten Ingemanns seneste tegneseriestribe. Du godeste! Jeg får lidt af et chok.

Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner

Ingemann er en af mine vigtiste kilder, når det kommer til at forstå det danske samfund. Men jeg synes, at han i dag for en gangs skyld synliggør et problem, der overtræder nationale grænser, og påvirker alle de, der arbejde i massagebranchen. Ofte kan Ingemann kaste lys over to eller flere problemer i samme historielinje, hvilket er flot.

Det er et mangeårigt problem i danske samfund, at indvandrer ikke har lyst til at mestre det svære danske sprog, og foretrækker at bruge engelsk, fordi så mange danskere taler engelsk så godt, næsten som et andet modersmål.

Et mere internationalt problem, der overtræder nationale grænser er lysten til øjeblikkelig tilfredsstillelse og nøjelse. Steve, min amerikanske svigerbror, sendte mig for nylig detaljer om en ny bog, ”Fire and Fury”, der handler om Trumps ledelesesstil i det Hvide Hus. Mange observatøre har kommenteret, at Trump er ligesom et lille barn, der altid er ivrig efter øjeblikkelig tilfredsstillelse og nøjelse.

I dagens tegnestribe ser vi to thailandske massøser på en massageklinik og en middelaldrende overvægtige kunde. Kunden er klart og tydeligt dansker, men kvinderne insisterer på at tale med ham på engelsk, og den stakkels danske kunde bliver tvunget til at svare på engelsk.

Massagen er ved at begynde. De to kvinder spørge ham, om han har lyst til en ”happy ending” ved slutningen af massagen, men kunden svarer, han hellere vil få en ”happy start”. Sikke et vanvid!!!

Efter min mening, er det lidt af en skam at folk i den moderne verden er så utålmodig og ikke kan vente på til alt gøres i den rigtige orden, men det springer jeg over. Jeg hører til en svunde verden, og der har jeg problemet!

08:30 Jeg hopper tilbage op i sengen til Lois og vi driker vores morgenté. Vi går i bad og står op.

10:00 Endnu en kold dag, så vi bliver hjemme og arbejder på vores spritnye ”umulige” puslespil: to billeder af Londons Waterloo-banegård.

Puslespillets øverste halvdel skildrer banegården i krigstid og den nederste halvdel banegården i fredstid.

Lois har desværre begrænset mig til krigstidsbillede, som jeg er ikke ret glad for – det er mørkere på grund af mørkelagning af vinduer osv, og på trods af nogle flådeuniformer er mændene er for det meste soldaterne i kaki uniform, hvilket ikke hjælper. Pokkers! Dette puslespil er ved at blive til lidt at et mareridt, ingen tvivl om det!!!

Senere på dagen, ved mørkets frembrud, poserer vi for fotograffer

og journalister, ivrige efter at tjekke op på vores fremskridt

Endnu senere, da bloggen er ved at gå i trykket, er kilder i gang med at bekræfte, at endnu mere fremskridt er blevet gjort. Men ifølge puslespil-eksperter er ulempen nu, at puslespillets sværeste dele (tag-området: red) stadig er for det meste urørt. Med andre ord, mareridtet forsætter – yikes!!!!

Lidt mere fremskridt kan rapporteres, men banegårdens tag-område

bliver for det meste urørt: med andre ord, mareridtet fortsætter – yikes!!!!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og ser lidt fjernsyn: et spændende krimidrama, stjernespækket Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr Bean), som den berømte franske kriminalinspektør, Maigret.

En underholdende krimidrama, der udspiller sig i 1950’erne i Paris. Det er interessant, at programmagerne har fået mod til at gøre programmet autentisk ifølge tidernes vaner. Vi ser en masse mennesker, der ryger (et sjældent syn nu på tv), og askebægerne har tendens til at være overfyldte. Selve Maigret (Rowan Atkinson) ryger sin berømte pibe selvfølgelig.

Vi hører også lejlighedsvise antisemitiske eller homofobisk kommentarer fra politimænd og vidnere (ikke fra selve Maigret, der skildres som lakonisk, talende med blød stemme, men væsentlig sympatisk og menneskekærlig). Disse kommentarer afspejler virkelighederne af livet i 1950’ernes

dramaet udspiller sig i 1950’erne i Paris,

og vi hører lejlighedsvise anti-semitiske, sexistiske eller

homofobiske kommentar fra figurer i dramaet,

herunder Maigrets assistent, detektiven Janvier.

vi er i 1950’erne og en natklubejer er tilladt

at røre ved sine dansere på nogen som helst måde, han har lyst til.

Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!

Lois og jeg synes, at Rowan Atkinson selv giver en overbevisende præstation som Maigret. Det må have været svært for ham at undgå en stil, der ville have mindet tv-seerne for meget om hans velkendte rolle som Mr Bean. Han måtte også undgå en stil, der ville invitere sammenlignelser med den berømte komiske figur ”Inspector Clouseau), som fortolket af den afdøde Peter Sellers.

21:00 Lois og jeg snakker lidt om Atkinsons enorme indflydelse i tv-verden i Storbritannien. Vi nød begge to Atkinsons præstationer i Mr Bean, også i Blackadder, som tiltrækker os på grund af vores gensidig interesse i historie.

Atkinsons gamle roller er stadig meget populære i vores nabolag, mest berømt i tilfælde af to studerende, der for nogle år siden ramte de lokale overskrifter, bedste venner Marc (Morrell) og Justin (Rotham). Ligesom mange bedste venner har Marc og Justin lignende smag og har en kærlighed til The Simpsons, Kurt Vonnegut og BBC-serien Black Adder.

tilbageblik til 2001: bedste venner Marc og Justin:

"Jeg elsker Rowan Atkinson som Black Adder," sagde Justin. "Jeg kan ikke engang se mr. Bean. Det er okay, men det er ikke som om Atkinson stadig er i sin bedste alder."

"Jeg er ikke overrasket over, at han ville sige det," sagde Marc senere. "Han havde aldrig engang hørt om Black Adder, før jeg fik ham ind i den. Nu er han verdens største ekspert på det. Som jeg sagde, hvor Marc fører, følger Justin."

De to bedste venner ramte faktisk for nylig de lokale overskrifterne på grund at, at journalister opdagede, at de begge to betragtede den anden som sin sidekick (rapport, den 30. maj 2001: kilde - Onion Local).

Dette gensidige sidekick-system virkede tilsyneladende godt for begge parter, selvom der angiveligt var ulemper også. "Justin er en god fyr og alt det er, men nogle gange er det svært at gøre tilnærmelser mod tøser, når han altid hænger på min arm," sagde Morrell. "I sidste weekend for eksempel var vi til denne husfest, og jeg prøvede at flirte med denne søde pige Amy fra min psykologiklasse, og han ville ikke et sekund forlade min side."

Justin udtrykte lignende frustration over hans vens afhængighed af ham i sociale situationer. "Uden mig, ville han aldrig engang tale med piger," sagde Justin. "Han afhænger af, at jeg styrer tøserne hans vej. Normalt er jeg glad for at hjælpe til, men nu og da ville det være godt, hvis han kunne få tingene selv til at ske."

"De fyre er slags fede på deres egen måde, men for det meste er de skovler," sagde Renee Callahan, en gensidig ven af de to unge mænd. "Jeg mener, de går allevegne sammen, har alle disse retarderede hemmelige vittigheder og endda klæder sig næsten identisk på. Og de er fælles med , at have en mangel på succes med tøserne.

Det kan være, at det gensidig sidekick-system virkede ikke så godt, som mændene troede, og så vidt jeg ved, er disse to lokale mænd stadig ugifte.

Det er interessant, at i aftenens ”Maigret”-afsnit, på ét tidspunkt måtte kriminalinspektør Maigret sætte sin sidekick, Janvier, på plads, efter Maigret ordrede Janvier at gå ud og eftersøge en mandlig prostitueret, mens han, Maigret, skulle sidde og interviewe letpåklædte strippere i en lokal natklub. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!!