Danskcolin: Monday December 23 2019

09:30 Lois and I drive over to the small town of Bishop's Cleeve, 3 miles north of Cheltenham. We want to do some last-minute food shopping at the local Tesco supermarket, plus buy some new slippers at the Factory Shop: our old ones are on the verge of going into holes: yikes! Since we retired 13 years ago, it is our slippers that wear out fastest of all our clothes, to put it mildly. My Goodness!

The Factory Shop, the blue building on the left,

where we hope to buy new slippers.

Pensioners' slippers don't last long before they start

to wear out, that's for sure ha ha ha!

We choose to do our shopping early this morning because we think it will be relatively quiet in the Tesco supermarket car park and elsewhere in the town.

Big mistake ha ha ha! We finally give up trying to park in the Tesco car park - the whole area is packed with old crows, going crazy in the supermarket, determined to finish their last-minute Christmas food shopping just like us. What madness !!!

These old crows are such a nuisance! Lois and I always say that they just ruin things for all of us other old crows, and that truism has never been more true than today! What a crazy world we live in !!!!

11:00 We come home and relax with a cup of coffee on the couch. And after lunch, I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap.

Mentally, I've started trying to crank my introversion level down before the Christmas-and-New Year frenzy starts: I have a virtual “introversion-level” button inside my head, which is usually set to "200%", but this setting will not work well at Christmas time when there is going to be a lot of company, conversation, chit-chat, fun and all that kind of madness ha ha ha!

I aim to achieve an 80% level for my "virtual introversion-level button" - that's exactly what it will take to survive ha ha ha!

15:00 I get up and do a few tasks on my pre-Christmas to-do list: I check the tyre pressures and the like. And I iron my shirts, pyjamas and underwear.

I take a look at my smartphone and browse through the local news sites, and I get a bit of a shock to put it mildly. Ex-Baywatch Star David Hasselhoff has apparently been on TV's "Sunday Brunch" praising a dish produced at the critically acclaimed local fish-and-chips restaurant, The Simpsons, only half a mile away from here - my goodness!

The former Baywatch star so loved a festive dish from Simpsons, a bowl groaning with balls of some kind of battered Christmas pudding, that he decided to give it a cheeky new name: "Santa's Balls".

What a crazy world we live in !!!! I suspect "The Hoff" must have been through some tough times since his show got cancelled so many years ago now - yikes !!!!

16:30 I read 2 more pages of Anna Grue's Danish crime novel, "The Further You Fall", which is our U3A Danish group's current project, and I compile a vocabulary list for each page to save our group members having to look up the difficult words in their dictionaries. I am so obliging ha ha ha!

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching some television, the first episode of a special Christmas series of one of our favourite TV quizzes, University Challenge.

In this special festive series, the participants are not students but various ex-students from the relevant university or college - ex-students who have "made their mark" in their chosen career in one way or another.

However, one of the ex-Leeds University students, Rev. Richard Coles, a TV and radio pastor and radio host, does not “make his mark” in one of the quiz's biblical questions. And Lois shows once again that her fundamentalist sect members know the Bible far better than the Anglican clergy do, to put it mildly !!

Television journalist and writer Marcel Theroux (ex-student at Clare College Cambridge) has a go at answering first.

Even I know that "John the Baptist" cannot be the correct answer. How could John have baptised Jesus in the Jordan River if he was dead when Jesus was still a baby - please !!!

Jeremy Paxman, the quiz's grumpy host, then turns to Rev. Richard Coles and asks him if he'd care to weigh in, but Coles strikes out sadly.

My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Flashback to 1986: Richard Coles in happier times – in his former life as

member of the Communards pop group, and playing piano

on their mega-hit, "Don’t Leave Me This Way"

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzzz !!!!!

Danish translation: mandag den 23. december 2019

09:30 Lois og jeg kører over til den lille by Bishops Cleeve, der ligger 3 miles nord for Cheltenham. Vi har lyst til at gå lidt sidste-øjeblik-madindkøb på det lokale Tesco-supermarked, også hver at købe nye hjemsko i Factory Shop: vores gamle er på randen af at få huller: yikes! Siden vi gik på pension for 13 år siden, er det vores hjemmesko, som bliver det hurtigste slidt op af alle vores tøj, for at sige mildt. Du godeste!

Factory Shop, hvor vi håber at købe nye hjemmesko.

Pensionisters hjemmesko holder ikke længe før de starter

at blive slidt helt ud ha ha ha!

Vi vælger at gøre vores indkøbstur tidligt i formiddagen, fordi vi tror, det vil være forholdsvis rolig i Tesco-supermarkeds parkeringsplads og andetsteds i byen.

Stor fejl ha ha ha! Vi opgiver endelig at prøve at parkere på Tesco-parkeringspladsen – hele området er propfyldt med gamle krager, gående amok i supermarkedet, determineret at afslutte deres sidste-minut-jule-madindkøb lige som os. Sikke et vanvid!!!

Disse gamle krager er sådanne nogle gener! Lois og jeg har for vane at sige, at de ødelægger tingene for alle os andre gamle krager, og det har aldrig været sandere, end i dag! Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

11:00 Vi kommer hjem og slapper af med en kop kaffe i sofaen. Og efter frokost, går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur.

Mentalt er jeg begyndt at prøve at skrue ned for mit introversion-niveau før jul-og-nytår-vanviddet starter: jeg har en virtuel introversionniveau-knap inde i mit hovedet, som normalt er fastset til ”200%”, men denne indstilling vil ikke fungere godt ved juletid, når der kommer til at være en masse selskab, samtaler, snik-snak, sjov og det slags vanvid ha ha ha!

Jeg tilstræber at opnå et 80%-niveau til min ”virtuelle introversion-knap” – det er lige det, der skal til ha ha ha!

15:00 Jeg står op og klarer et par opgaver på min præjul-gøremålsliste: jeg tjekker dæktrykkene og den slags. Og jeg stryger mine skjorter, pyjamas og undertøj.

Jeg kigger lidt på min smartphone og blader igennem de lokale nyhedswebsteder, og jeg får lidt af en chok for at sige mildt. Den eks-Baywatch Star David Hasselhoff har tilsyneladende været i nabolaget, på fish-and-chips restaurant, Simpsons, der ligger kun en halv mile herfra – du godeste!

Den tidligere Baywatch-stjerne elskede så meget en festlige ret fra Simpsons, en skål bugnende af bolder af en slags begnetdej-pudding at han besluttede at give den et fræk nyt navn, ifølge lokale kilder. Han havde smuttet ind i restauranten og omdøbte denne smagtfulde ret ”Santa’s Balls”.

Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!! Jeg mistænker, at ”The Hoff” må har været igennem nogle hårde tider, siden hans show blev aflyst for mange år siden – yikes!!!!

16:30 Jeg læser endnu 2 sider af Anna Grues danske krimiroman, ”Dybt at falde”, som er vores U3A danske gruppes nuværende projekt, og jeg udfærdiger en ordforrådliste til enhver side, for at spare vores gruppemedlemmer for at slå de svære ord op i deres ordbøger. Jeg er så imødekommende ha ha ha!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn, det første afsnit i en speciel jule-serie af én af vores yndlings-tv-quizzer, University Challenge.

I denne specielle festlige serie er deltagerne ikke studerende men forskellige eks-studerende fra det pågældende universitet eller college – eks-studerende, som har ”udmærket sig” i deres valgte karriere på én eller anden måde.

Én af de eks Leeds University-studerende, Rev. Richard Coles, tv- og radio-præst og radiovært udmærker sig desværre ikke imidlertid i ét af quizzens bibliske spørgsmål. Og Lois viser endnu en gang, at hendes fundamentalistiske sekts medlemmer kender biblen langt bedre, end den anglikanske gejstlighed, for at sige mildt!!

Tv-journalisten of forfatteren Marcel Theroux (eks-studerende på Clare College Cambridge) prøver at svare først.

q1-5: Selv jeg ved, at ”Johannes Døberen” ikke kan være det korrekte svar. Hvordan kunne Johannes have døbt Jesus i floden Jordan hvis han var død, da Jesus var stadig en baby – yikes!!!

Jeremy Paxman, quizzens gnavne vært, advender sig så til Rev. Richard Coles, men Coles gør fiasko desværre.