Fredag den 15. september 2017

Den store dag begynder – dagen af Lois’s øjenoperation for grå stær. Jeg vækker hende kl 6:45 med en kop te, og kører hende kl 8 over til det lokale hospitalet og tager hende med op til øjenklinikken på tredje etage. Hendes indledende aftale er bestemt til 8:30. Jeg kører hjem.

11:15 Lois ringer til mig fra klinikken – hun siger, hun er om en halvtime klar til at hentes. Det hele gik meget godt, siger hun – hurra!

Jeg kører hende hjem, og hun fortæller mig om sin formiddag.

Lois efter sin operation: hun skal beholde en plastik skjold over øjet

indtil i morgen, for at beskytte det – stakkels Lois!!!!

Men det hele var alt i alt ikke en så ubehagelig oplevelse, gudskelov.

Processen begyndte med øjendråber, givet gentagende gange, for at udvide øjet. Øjendråberne blev fulgt af bedovelsesmidler. Da øjen var blevet fuldstændigt følelsesløs blev hun indkaldet til operationsteatret (efter 2 timer og 20 minutter, dvs kl 10:40).

Hun lå på en slags rulleseng – Lois har en fobi for at ligge på en meget smal seng, men den var ikke så smal, som hun havde frygtet: hun vurderer, at den måske har været ca 2 fods 6 bred (76cm).

Selve operation, hvor den gamle øjenlins blev fjernet og en ny kunstig indført, (dvs bortset fra alle de forberedelser) tog mindre, end 15 minutter. Hun havde en ugennemsigtigt skjold over øjet - hun kunne ikke se eller føle noget, og det var ikke ubehageligt.

Specialisterne og personalet var meget venlige over for hende – det var alt i alt en god oplevelse, hvilket er en god nyhed for mit vedkommende, hvis jeg nogensinde har brug for operationen.

Vores sundhedssystem i England er lidt af en gåde. Nogle patienter roser det til skyerne, og andre siger, det er en katastrofe. Det er lidt som en lotteri, lader det til! Du godeste, sikke et vanvid! Jeg har imidlertid besluttet mig for at undgå hospitaler så meget som muligt – selvfølgelig min skæbne kan beslutte ellers – yikes!!!!

13:00 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet for at forberede frokost: cheddar ost og hjemmedyrket agurk sandwiches med hjemmedyrkede tomater – nam nam!

15:00 Lois’s højre øje var næsten lukket, da hun først kom hjem, men det har lidt efter lidt åbnet sig i løbet af de seneste få timer. Men det klør lidt under skjolden, hvilket er lidt ærgeligt.

Lois’s største problem nu har vist sig at være, hvordan hun bedst kan beskæftige sig. Hun kan læse en bog eller et tidsskrift, eller se lidt fjernsyn, men i hvert tilfælde kun i en begrænset periode – måske kun i 10 minutter: hun bliver snart træt. Stakkels Lois!!!! Men hun er så modig – meget modigere, end mig. Jeg er grundlæggende en stor kryster. Hil dig, Lois - du holdt os ud af krigen!!!

Hun har generelt meget mere energi, end mig, når det kommer til at gå ud og være aktiv, så der er lidt af en lettelse for mig, at hun i nogle dage bliver mindre af en lille dynamo. Og for engangs skyld (takket være sidste onsdags mini-middagsselskab) har vi et lager af alkohol i huset ha ha ha. På den anden side vil jeg måtte gøre mere i køkkenet – pokkers!

16:30 Hun går i seng for at hvile sig lidt. Hun falder i søvn.

17:00 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet og laver aftensmad: kylling lasagne med ærter – nam nam!

18:00 Jeg kalder Lois ned til aftensmad. Mens vi spiser, lytter vi lidt til radio. Radio er bedre og mindre trættende, end fjernsyn for tiden for Lois’s vedkommende.

Vi hører et morsomt radio-program, ”Den kolde svenske vinter”, der handler om en engelsk komiker, Geoff, der er partnere med en dejlig svensk kvinde, Linda (Andersson). Parret flytter til det nordlige Sverige og købe et hus ude på landet, helt tæt på Lindas skræmmende forældre, hendes negative far, Sten, og hendes liderlige mor, Gunilla. Geoff har haft en masse problemer med at vænne sig til det svenske ”socialdemokratiske” samfund.

Scriptet er overraskende morsomt, ikke ”lol” men på en dejlig, blid måde, og vi lærer meget om det svenske samfund. Jeg hælder til at tro, at programmet afspejler virkeligheden af den svenske oplevelse, fordi seriens engelske forfatter, Danny Robins, skriver grundlæggende om sit eget liv – han er selv partnere med en svensk kvinde og bor derovre.

Seriens svenske figurer virker ganske skræmmende og de taler lidt på den måde, jeg ville forestille mig store gråbjørne ville tale, hvis naturen havde givet dem menneskelige stemmer.

De virker helt anderledes, end de danskerne Lois og jeg har mødt, siden vores datter Alison i 2012 flyttede til København: også måske anderledes, end svenskerne i det sydlige Sverige, hvilket ikke er ret overraskende i betragtning af, at det sydlige Sverige i hundreder af år var en vigtig del af det danske rige.  

I aften hører vi historien af Geoff og Lindas bryllup – de har været partnere i et par år og har en ung søn John.

Geoffs svigerfamilie presser ham til at holde tale på svensk på bryllupsmiddagen, så Gunilla, hans liderlige  svigermor, giver ham private lektioner. Geoff har svært ved at udtale det svenske sprogs ekstra 3 vokaler:  å ä og ö. Men da Gunilla gentagende gange intonerer dem for at hjælpe ham, bliver Geoff overbevidst, at hun faktisk er i gang med at have en orgasme. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

Under engelske bryllupper, er det kun brudgommen, hans forloveren og brudens far, der må holde tale, men i Sverige er alle gæsterne tilladt at holde tale, hvis de har lyst til det, hvilket har tendens til at gøre middagen utroligt langvarig – uha!

Som konsekvens af middagens lange varighed, er bruden og brudgommen af og til nødt til at gå ud på toilettet. Når brudgommen er på toilettet, er det sædvane for de mandlige gæster at kysse bruden (og omvendt for de kvindelige gæster, når bruden smutter på toilettet). Du godeste, sikke et vanvid (igen)!!!!

19:30 Vi ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser et gamle afsnit af ”Top of the Pops” fra juli 1984.

Lois og jeg så ikke dette afsnit, da det først blev sendt af den BBC-kanalen, fordi vi boede i USA mellem 1982 og 1985. Men musikken er 100% snot, som danskerne siger – Lois og jeg gik ikke glip af noget vidunderligt – det ved jeg med sikkerhed.

Tilbageblik til juli 1984: vores datter Alison på 8 år, 

sammen med nabobarnet Derek,

kigger på den lokale 4. juli parade i Columbia Md.

Showet minder os om, at kvinder dengang var meget dygtige til at opnå det ”store hår” look. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

Shakataks Jill Saward opnår det ”store hår” look – du godeste,

sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!!

Jill Saward i  2014 i Tyskland – håret er stadig temmelig stort, 

lader det til. Hun har tagt nogle pund på - uha!

De reelle stjerner af aftenens Top of the Pops show er, som ofte, publikummet – de almindelige unge, der danser til musikken i tv-studiet. Men det mest skræmmende er, at mindes, at disse unge nu alle er i 50’erne – du godeste!

showets stjerner er de unge, der danser i studiet.

Skræmmende at mindes, at de nu alle er i 50’erne – yikes!!!!!

Jeg håber på, at den der unge pige stadig smiler ha ha ha!

21:00 Vi går tidligere, end normalt, i seng – adskilte senge og adskilte værelser i nat. Lois ligger altid på ryggen i sengen. Jeg ligger på den ene side eller den anden og vender mig af og til, en recept på katastrofe, fordi Lois’s plastik øjenskjold for enhver pris må blive på plads – yikes!

Zzzzzzzz!!!!!! Zzzzzzz!!!!

English translation

The big day begins - the day of Lois's eye surgery for cataracts. I wake her up at 6:45am with a cup of tea and drive her at 8 o'clock to the local hospital and take her up to the eye clinic on the third floor. Her initial appointment is scheduled for 8:30am. I drive home.

11:15 Lois calls me from the clinic - she says she will be ready to be picked up in half an hour. It all went very well, she says - hurrah!

I drive her home and she tells me about her morning.

Lois after surgery: she has to keep a plastic shield over the eye

until tomorrow, to protect it - poor Lois !!!!

But all in all, the whole thing was not so unpleasant 

an experience, thank goodness.

The process began with eye drops, repeatedly given, to dilate the eye. The eye drops were followed by anaesthetics. When her eye had become completely numb, she was called to the operating theatre (after 2 hours and 20 minutes, ie at 10:40 am).

She lay on a kind of roller bed or trolley - Lois has a phobia about lying on a very narrow bed, but it was not as narrow as she had feared: she thinks it might have been about 2 feet 6 wide (76cm).

The surgery itself where the old eye lens was removed and a new artificial one inserted (ie, apart from all the preparations) took less than 15 minutes. She had an opaque translucent shield over her eye - she could not see or feel anything and it was not unpleasant.

The specialists and staff were very friendly to her - it was all in all a good experience, which is a good news for me if I ever need surgery.

Our health system in England is a bit of an enigma. Some patients praise it to the skies, and others say it's a disaster. It's a bit like a lottery, it seems! Good grief, what madness! However, I have made up my mind to avoid hospitals as much as possible - of course my fate may decide otherwise - yikes !!!!

13:00  I hurry into the kitchen to prepare lunch: cheddar cheese and homemade cucumber sandwiches with homemade tomatoes - yum yum!

15:00 Lois's right eye was almost closed when she first came home, but it has gradually opened over the last few hours. But it itches a little under the shield, which is a bit awkward.

Lois's biggest problem has proven to be how she can best occupy herself. She can read a book or magazine, or watch some television, but in each case only for a limited period of time, perhaps only 10 minutes - she soon gets tired. Poor Lois! But she is so brave - much braver than me. I'm basically a big coward. Hail to thee, Lois - you kept us out of war !!!

She generally has a lot more energy than me when it comes to going out and being active so it's a bit of relief for me that for a few days she'll be less of a little dynamo. And for once (thanks to last Wednesday's mini-dinner party) we have a stash of alcohol in the house ha ha ha. On the other hand, I will have to do more in the kitchen - damn!

16:30 She goes to bed to rest a little. She falls asleep.

17:00 I hurry into the kitchen and make dinner: chicken lasagne with peas - yum yum!

18:00 I call Lois down for dinner. While we are eating, we listen a little to the radio. Radio is better and less tiring than television currently for Lois.

We hear a funny radio programme, "The Cold Swedish Winter", which is about an English comedian, Geoff, who is partners with a lovely Swedish woman, Linda (Andersson). The couple move to northern Sweden and buy a house in the countryside, close to Linda's scary parents, her negative father, Sten, and her horny mother, Gunilla. Geoff has had a lot of trouble getting used to Swedish "social-democratic" society.

The script is surprisingly amusing, not "lol" but in a nice, gentle way, and we learn a lot about Swedish society. I'm inclined to think that the programme reflects the reality of the Swedish experience because the English writer of the series, Danny Robins, is basically writing about his own life - he is a partners with a Swedish woman and lives over there.

The Swedish characters in the series seem quite scary and they speak a little the way I would imagine big grizzly bears would speak if nature had given them human voices.

They seem completely different to the Danes Lois and I have met since our daughter Alison moved to Copenhagen in 2012: perhaps also different to the Swedes in southern Sweden, which is not surprising given the fact that southern Sweden was an important part of the Danish empire for hundreds of years.

Tonight we hear the story of Geoff and Linda's wedding - they have been partners for a few years and have a young son John.

Geoff's in-laws press him to give a speech in Swedish at the wedding reception, so Gunilla, his horny mother-in-law, gives him private lessons. Geoff has difficulty pronouncing the Swedish language's extra 3 vowels: å ä and ö. But when Gunilla intones them repeatedly to help him, Geoff becomes convinced she's actually getting an orgasm. Good grief, what madness !!!

During English weddings, only the groom, his best man and the father of the bride are allowed to give a speech, but in Sweden all guests are allowed to speak if they feel like it, which tends to make the reception incredibly lengthy - oh dear!

As a result of the long duration of the reception, the bride and groom occasionally have to go to the toilet. When the groom is on the toilet, it is customary for all the male guests to kiss the bride (and vice versa for all the female guests when the bride pops to the toilet). Good grief, what madness (again) !!!!

19:30 We watch a bit of television. An old episode of "Top of the Pops" from July 1984 is on.

Lois and I did not see this episode when it was first broadcast by the BBC channel because we lived in the United States between 1982 and 1985. But the music is 100% snot as the Danes say - Lois and I did not miss anything wonderful - that's something I know for sure.

Flashback to July 1984: Our daughter Alison at 8 years, 

along with the neighbour kid Derek,

watching the local 4th of July parade in Columbia Md.

The show reminds us that women at that time were very good at achieving  the "big hair" look. My god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

Shakatak's Jill Saward achieves the "big hair" look –

my god, what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Jill Saward in 2014 in Germany - her hair is still fairly big, seemingly.

She has put on a few pounds - oh dear!

The real stars of tonight's Top of the Pops show are, as often, the audience - the ordinary young people dancing to the music in the television studio. But the most frightening thing is to recall that these young people are now all in their fifties - my god!

The show's stars are the young people dancing in the studio.

Scary to recall that they are now all in their fifties - yikes !!!!!

I hope that little girl is still smiling!

21:00 We go to bed earlier than usual - separate beds and separate rooms tonight. Lois always lies on her back in bed. I lie on one side or the other and occasionally turn, a recipe for disaster because Lois's plastic eye shield must stay in place at all costs - yikes!

Zzzzzzzz !!!!!! Zzzzzzz !!!!