Sunday, 17 September 2017

Lørdag den 16. september 2017

Dagen efter Lois’s øjenoperation for grå stær. Jeg lader hende sove over sig igen, og tager en kop te med kl halv ni op til soveværelse. Hun står op og tager sin plastik øjenskjold af. Vi samarbejder kl 9 for at give hende sine første dosis øjendråber – hun må tage dosen 4 gange om dagen den første uge, 3 gange om dagen den anden uge osv. Øjet  begynder at se lidt bedre ud, men er stadig lidt oppustet.


11:30 Jeg hopper op på min kondicykel og tilbagelægger endnu 6 miles (10km), mens jeg gentager mit nye mantra: ommmmmmmmm - det er vigtigere at være rask, end at være tynd – ommmmmmmm (og gentag i en uendelighed ha ha ha).

At cykle er meget kedeligt, så derfor tænder jeg for min smartphone og hører gamle sange på YouTube, mens jeg cykler. Hver gang jeg cykler, stiller jeg året ét eller to år tilbage, og i formiddag hører jeg 1938s 30 bedste sange.

Præcis halvdelen af sangene i denne amerikanske hitliste har jeg desværre aldrig hørt før. Jeg opdager for første gang, at en melodi jeg plejer at spille på klaver, faktisk hedder ”Hjerte og sjæl”, så dette nye tradition jeg har startet er belærende når alt kommer til alt.


Jeg kan godt lide sangen ”Tak for minderne”  - jeg opdager, mens jeg bliver ældre og ældre, at minder bliver mere og mere nydeligere. I sidste ende har man ikke noget andet tilbage – det ved jeg med sikkerhed!!!! Stakkels mig, og stakkels alle jer ha ha ha!!!!


Sikke en tid det var, sikke en tid det var, jeg har et fotografi. Har du bevaret dine minder? De er alt du har tilbage (copyright Paul Simon ha ha ha).

I 1938 håbede alle i Storbritannien stadig på, at krigen kunne blive undgået. Chamberlain lovede ”fred i vor tid” ha ha ha.


Jeg graver mine forældres fotobog frem og kigger på 1938s fotos. Min mor virkede at have et godt år og en lykkelig sommerferie, med en masse sjov. Hun var kun 18 år gammel, og gik på ferie med 2 veninder (Jean Bird, Gladys Douthwaite ?) til badebyer Saltburn og Redcar i grevskabet Nord-Yorkshire.

Jeg formoder, der også var en mysteriøs ung mand i billedet, men det er jeg ikke helt sikker på. Hun talte med mig engang, om en ung mand (Edgar?), hun troede var interesseret i hende, men som droppede hende – et kort forhold endte snart i skuffelse af en eller anden grund.

Det ser ud fra billederne, som om hun ikke desto mindre havde det meget sjovt og fjollede meget med sin veninder, og alt i alt morede sig glimrende, hvilket jeg er meget glad for, i betragting af, at en 6 års krig lige var rundt om hjørnet – yikes!


ThreesomeB: Tilbageblik til juli 1938: min mor, med Gladys (til venstre)
og Jean (til højre) i Redcar Stray i nærheden af stranden



min mor og hendes veninder i Redcar og Saltburn i juli 1938

Her ser vi mysteriummanden for den første og eneste gang,
siddende på hug sammen med min mor, kiggende på planternes navne,
hvilket hun passede på at specificere, for det tilfælde af,
at nogen mistænkte, at de ”blev kærlige”.
Hun fortalte mig, hun forbød ham til at tage hende med alene ind i haverne.
Måske derfor besluttede han at droppe hende,
dvs fordi hun var for snerpet??? Men det er jeg ikke helt sikkert på.

I mellemtiden ser vi min far, en ung skolelærer, i august 1938 (på 24 år) i byen Basingstoke i grevskabet Hampshire. I billedet var han sammen med 3 andre, og de bar alle navnskilte, fordi de deltog i en kampagne for at overtale byens borgere til at konvertere til deres sekt.

Min far (til venstre) med 3 venner i august 1938 foran byen Basingstokes rådhus

Rådhuset i dag: det er blevet til et museum.

Han var dengang en entusiastisk og velanset lægprædikant i sin sekt, og hans prædikener var kendt for at være meget inspirerende.

Det er svært at tro, men desværre førte hans retoriske færdigheder  til en stor tragedie i sin familie. I januar 1939 holdt han en meget inspirende prædiken i badebyen Bournemouth. Hans mor, der kun var først i 50’erne,  var i publikummet og blev så begejstret over hans inspirerende ord og publikummets entusiastiske reaktion, at hun senere på samme dagen døde af en hjerneaneurisme.

Min far må have været sønderknust – han var meget tæt på sin mor. Men han talte aldrig om det.


uddrag fra sektens tidskrift: den utroligt tragisk nyhed

Jeg formoder, at denne tragedie beskadigede hans tro. Han fortsatte med at holde prædikener, men mindre hyppigt, tror jeg. Han kom ud af sekten i 1944, da han trådte ind i den britiske hær – sekten har en kompromistløst pacifistisk holdning.

12:15 Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet og laver frokost. Vi tilbringer eftermiddagen i sengen.

17:00 Lois stykker benene op foran fjernsynet og ser en gammel Laurel og Hardy film. Jeg skynder mig ind i køkkenet. Jeg har besluttet at lave min ”signaturret”: fiskepinde, kartofler og baked beans, men jeg opdager til min skuffelse, at vi er løbet tør for fiskepinde – pokkers! Jeg vælger frokostkød i stedet for – nam nam! Det er lidt af en skam, at mine kulinariske færdigheder er så begrænsede. Lois vil snart blive godt træt af min studerende måltider – uha!

20:00 Vi lytter til radio: det 4. (sidste) afsnit af den 4. sæson af  ”Den kolde svenske vinter”.



Serien handler om en engelsk komiker, Geoff, der er partnere med en dejlig svensk kvinde, Linda (Andersson). Parret flytter til det nordlige Sverige og købe et hus ude på landet, helt tæt på Lindas skræmmende forældre, hendes negative far, Sten, og hendes liderlige mor, Gunilla. Geoff har haft en masse problemer med at vænne sig til det svenske ”socialdemokratiske” samfund.

Scriptet er overraskende morsomt, ikke ”lol” men på en dejlig, blid måde, og vi lærer meget om det svenske samfund. Jeg hælder til at tro, at programmet afspejler virkeligheden af den svenske oplevelse, fordi seriens engelske forfatter, Danny Robins, skriver grundlæggende om sit eget liv – han er selv partnere med en svensk kvinde og bor derovre.

Den kolde svenske vinter: hovedfigurerne

Seriens svenske figurer virker ganske skræmmende og de taler lidt på den måde, jeg ville forestille mig store gråbjørne ville tale, hvis naturen havde givet dem menneskelige stemmer.

Et morsomt afsnit igen, der handler om det svenske ”pappaledig” eller ”latte papa” fænomen: den svenske regering betaler fædre så de kan tage en pause fra arbejde i et år, så de kan passe på deres unge børn. Du godeste – sikke et vanvid!!!!

Svenske kaffebarer er om dagen fulde ikke af mødre-og-børn men af fædre-og-børn, lader det til. Denne serie ville behage Francis, vores svigersøn i Australien – vores datter Sarah er den udarbejdende, mens han passer på deres 4-årige tvillinger. Men Australien er et mere sexistisk land, end Sverige. I kaffebarerne møder han kun mødre, og han føler sig lidt pinlig over det, synes vi. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!

21:00 Vi går i seng, lidt tidligere, end normalt. Adskilte senge og adskilte værelse igen, for sidste gang forhåbentlig. Zzzzzzz!!!!! Zzzzzzz!!!!

English translation

The day after Lois's eye surgery for cataracts. I let her sleep in again and take a cup of tea up to the bedroom at half past nine. She gets up and takes off her plastic eye-shield. We work together at 9 o'clock to give her the first dose of eye drops - she must take the dose 4 times a day the first week, 3 times a day the second week, and so on. The eye is starting to look a little better, but is still a little puffy.


11:30 I hop up on my exercise bike and clock up another 6 miles (10km) while repeating my new mantra: ommmmmmmmm - it's more important to be fit than to be thin - ommmmmmmm (and repeat ad infinitum ha ha ha) .

Cycling is very boring, so I turn on my smartphone and listen to old songs on YouTube while cycling. Every time I cycle, I set the year one or two years back, and this morning I hear 1938's 30 best songs.

Unfortunately, just over half of the songs in this American hit list I have never heard before. I discover for the first time that a tune I often play on the piano, is actually called "Heart and soul," so this new tradition I have started is educational after all.


I like the song "Thanks for the memories" - I discover that as I grow older and older, memories are getting more and more enjoyable. In the end, you have nothing else - that's something I know for sure !!!! Poor me and poor everyone else ha ha ha !!!!


"Time it was, what a time it was, I have a photograph. Preserve your memories. They're all that's left you" (copyright Paul Simon ha ha ha).

In 1938 everybody in Britain still hoped that the war could be avoided. Chamberlain promised "peace in our time" ha ha ha.


I dig out my parents' photo album and look at 1938's photos. My mother seemed to have a good year and a happy summer holiday, with lots of fun. She was only 18 years old and went on holiday with 2 girlfriends (Jean Bird, Gladys Douthwaite?) to the seaside resorts of Saltburn and Redcar in the county of North Yorkshire.

I sense that there was also a mysterious young man in the frame, but that's something I'm not entirely sure about. She once talked to me about a young man (Edgar?) who she thought was interested in her but who dropped her - a short relationship soon ended in disappointment for some reason.

It looks like from the pictures as though she nevertheless had a lot of fun and larked around a lot with her girlfriends, and all in all had the time of her life, which I am very pleased about, considering that a 6 year war was just around about the corner - yikes!


Flashback to July 1938: My mother, with Gladys (left)
and Jean (right) in Redcar Stray near the beach




My mother and her girlfriends in Redcar and Saltburn in July 1938

Here we see the mystery man for the one and only time,
crouching down with my mother, looking at the names of the plants,
an activity she was careful to specify, in case
anyone suspected that they were getting "lovey-dovey".
She said to me she told him not to take her alone into the gardens.
Maybe that's why he decided to drop her, because she was too prudish???
But that's something I'm not completely sure about.

Meanwhile, we see my father, a young school teacher, in August 1938 (at 24 years of age) in the town of Basingstoke in the county of Hampshire. In the picture he was with 3 others, and they were all wearing name badges because they were taking part in a campaign to persuade the town's citizens to convert to their sect.

My father (left) with 3 friends in August 1938 
in front of Basingstoke Town Hall

The Town Hall today: it has become a museum.

He was then an enthusiastic and well-respected lay preacher in his sect, and his sermons were famous for being very inspiring.

It's hard to believe, but unfortunately his rhetorical skills led to a major tragedy in his family. In January 1939 he gave a very inspiring sermon in the seaside resort of Bournemouth. His mother, who was only in her early 50s, was in the audience and got so excited about his inspiring words and the enthusiastic reaction of the audience that later in the same day she died of a brain aneurysm.

My father must have been shattered - he was very close to his mother. But he never talked about it.


excerpt from the sect’s magazine; the incredibly tragic news

I suppose this tragedy damaged his faith. He continued to give sermons, but less often, I think. He came out of the sect in 1944 when he joined the British Army - the sect takes a uncompromising pacifist stance.

12:15 I hurry into the kitchen and make lunch. We spend the afternoon in bed.

17:00 Lois sticks her feet up in front of the television and sees an old Laurel and Hardy movie. I hurry into the kitchen. I have decided to make my "signature dish": fish fingers, potatoes and baked beans, but I find to my disappointment that we have run out of fish fingers - damn! I choose luncheon meat instead - yum yum! It's a bit of a shame that my culinary skills are so limited. Lois will soon be getting heartily sick of my "student meals" - oh dear!

20:00 We listen to the radio: the 4th (last) episode of the 4th season of "The cold Swedish winter".



The series is all about an English comedian, Geoff, who is partners with a lovely Swedish woman, Linda (Andersson). The couple move to northern Sweden and buy a house in the countryside, close to Linda's scary parents, her negative father, Sten, and her horny mother, Gunilla. Geoff has had a lot of trouble getting used to Swedish "social-democratic" society.

The script is surprisingly amusing, not "lol" but in a nice, gentle way, and we learn a lot about Swedish society. I'm inclined to think that the programme reflects the reality of the Swedish experience because the English author of the series, Danny Robins, is basically writing about his own life - he is partners with a Swedish woman and lives over there.

The Cold Swedish Winter - the main characters

The Swedish characters in the series seem quite scary and they speak a little in the way I would imagine grizzly bears would speak if nature had given them human voices.

A fun eisode again, all about the Swedish "stay-at-home dads" phenomenon: the Swedish government pays fathers so they can take a break from work for a year to look after their young children. Good grief - what madness !!!!

Swedish coffee bars in the daytime are not full of mothers and children, but of fathers and children, it seems. This series would please Francis, our son-in-law in Australia - our daughter Sarah is the one going out to work, while he looks after their 4-year-old twins. But Australia is a more sexist country than Sweden. In the coffee shops he meets only mothers and he feels a little embarrassed about it, we think. Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!

21:00 We go to bed, a bit earlier than normal. Separate beds and separate rooms again, for the last time hopefully.

Zzzzzzz !!!!! Zzzzzzz !!!!


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