08:00 Lois og
jeg går i bad og står op. Lois skal ud kl 10. Hun har aftalt at hente Rose, og
køre hende til M&S-storbutikken for at mødes med Sheila på butikkens café.
Alle tre arbejdede sammen på et lokalt plejehjem, før de gik på pension.
Jeg har lidt
alenetid, og jeg går i gang med at skrive julekort til slægtninge og venner på
min julekortliste, der bor i udlandet: 7 i Europa, 5 i USA, 1 i Australien, og
1 i Japan. Som sædvanligt finder jeg det hele anstrengende.
Beslutninger,
beslutninger! Jeg skal beslutte hvilke kort, jeg vil vedlægge mit
julenyhedsbrev til. Nogle modtagere ved allerede godt, hvad Lois og jeg i år
har gjort, og andre skider det et stykke ha ha ha !
Jeg passer
forsigtigt på, præcis hvad jeg skriver inde i kortet, så det lyder venligt men
ikke for venligt: det er ganske sikkert at sige, at ”håber, vi endelig kan
mødes igen næste år”, fordi jeg ikke kan stå til regnskab for det i en retssag
ha ha ha (igen).
Jeg har altid
været interesseret i sprog og accenter, og når jeg ser en lejlighed til at gøre
lidt forskning om accenter på nettet, benytter jeg den ivrigt. Et af mine kort
indeholder et ordspil, der er forståeligt men ikke virker perfekt i England,
men den virker i de fleste dele af Nord-Amerika. Jeg finder derfor en passende
modtager at sende kortet til. ”Ordspillet” afhænger af, at man udtaler det
engelske ord ”merry” og det engelske navn ”Mary” på samme måde [”Merry
Christmas” og ”Mary Christmas”].
Mary
Christmas
Dette ordspil
virker ikke i Storbritannien, Australien osv, men den virker i USA og Canada,
bortset fra USAs nordøstlige delstater (i sær byerne Philadelphia og New York
og delstaten Rhode Island) og muligvis byen Montreal af en eller anden grund –
du godeste, har man hørt et så underligt sprog som engelsk!!!!
Til sidst er
det lidt af en mareridt at finde frem til, hvad slags frimærker at fastgøre på
kuverterne. Jeg kigger på Royal Mails websted, men det er helt dårligt
organiseret – ingen overraskelse der!!! Jeg må veje kortene, men først skal jeg
skifte enheder på køkkenskalaer så det viser metriske i stedet for pund og
ounces – pokkers! Den laveste pris gælder til kort, der vejer mindre, end 20
gram. Det er lidt irriterende, at de fleste kort vejer præcis 20 gram – pokkers
(igen) !!!!
Efter alt det
der lort, føler jeg mig utilpas, og jeg lægger mig ned i en halv time –
yikes!!! Livet er hårdt nogle gange. Jeg prøver ikke at få sympati, men jeg
føler mig i dag lidt som en karklud, slap som en præsts håndtryk, som Larry
Grayson, den camp komiker, plejede at
sige. Jeg ville normalt prøver at anvende min specielle ”Fiery Jack” salve på særlige kropsdele – men
for nylig har den tendens til at bringe mig ud i et udslæt, af en eller anden
grund.
11:45 Jeg beslutter,
jeg kan lidt igen. Jeg går hen til den nærmeste postkasse og sender dem af. Nu
er der kun de hundredvis af britiske modtagere tilbage – yikes, sikke et
mareridt !!!!
12:00 Jeg
skynder mig ind i køkkenet og laver frokost. Efter måltidet går jeg i seng for
at tage mig en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Lois kommer tilbage, mens jeg sover.
16:00 Jeg står
op. Vi slapper af med en kop te i sofaen, og snakker lidt om juledekorationer
osv. Jeg fortæller Lois om en email, som Steve, min svigerbror, har sendt mig.
Det viser sig at politiet nu advarer, at det kunne være betragtet som seksuelt
overgreb at gøre noget som helst under misteltenen, uden at alle for øje har
givet samtykke til det. Du godeste, sikke et vanvid! Pludselig begynder
Sheldons mani for at udfærdige en forholdskontrakt med sin kæreste, Amy, i Big
Bang Theory tv-sitcommen at give mening. Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!
Det kan nogle
gange være lidt irriterende at leve i sådan et proceslystent samfund. Jeg
vidste altid, at denne egenskab i vores samfund daterede fra angelsaksiske
tider, men jeg fandt kun for nylig ud af, at alle de danske indvandringer, i
det 10. århundrede og senere, faktisk gjorde det hele meget værre – de var
endnu mere proceslystne, end de engelske, og elskede ikke noget bedre end at sagsøge
hinanden for ét eller andet.
Der eksisterede
faktisk i en periode to juridiske systemer i landet, og det, der gjældt i
Danelagen, var meget strengere, og bøder var højere. Selvom jeg mistænker, at
det kunne have været muligt at slippe af sted med en mindre bøde, hvis man
fortalte den danelagen-dommeren, at du ikke indså, at du havde overtrådt
grænsen. Det ville i hvert fald have været et forsøg værd.
Straffe var strengere i Danelagen – uha,
man
måtte være forsigtigt !
En fornuftig
praktik, som Danelagen indførte, var ikke at skelne forskellige typer af
forseelser: de hed alle ”forseelser”, intet mere. Kun de alvorlige forbrydelser
blev beskrevet ved navn og i detaljer med tilsvarende straffe. Dette ville have
reduceret omkostningerne – ingen tvivl om det.
17:30 Vi
spiser aftensmad lidt tidligere, end normalt, og bagefter skal Lois ud. Hun
ønsker at deltage i et bibelseminar, der finder sted i aften i byen Brockworth.
Mari-Ann og Alf kører forbi og hente hende, hvilket er en forfriskende
forandring, og jeg kan blive siddende i min bedste lænestol ha ha ha.
Jeg har lidt
alenetid og ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm (1. del
af 3), der handler om alle de folk, der over årtusinderne har invaderet de
britiske øer. Programmets vært er den charmerende Sam Willis.
Det er meget
interessant at se indvirkningen af DNA-studier på historie og forhistorie, det
må jeg nok sige. Mange af disse studier har fået mange af historikernes elskede
teorier til at blive opgivet i de seneste 20 år, ingen tvivl om det!
DNA studier
har gjort det hele meget simplere, end før. Efter den seneste istid, som
sluttede for 12.000 år siden, da de britiske øer var ubeboede, har der været
kun 3 rigtig store invasioner, når det kommer til DNA-forandringer: for det
første, en stribe ”jægere og samlere” befolkede landet.
Derefter var
der 2 vigtige invasioner, der begge udslettede de forrige indbyggere, viser
DNA-studier. De første landbrugere ankom for ca. 6.000 år siden. Og
klokkebægerfolkene, der er kendt for klokkebægerne, de medbragt, ankom for ca. 4.500
år siden.
Ca. 70% af europæiske
menneskers DNA genomer kan tilbagespores til klokkebægerfolkets. Men indenfor
vores DNA eksisterer der imidlertid variationer, der afhænger af præcis hvor
ens forfædre kom fra. Dokumentumseriens vært, Sam Willis, får sit DNA teste
under programmet, og han finder ud af, at der er en stærk skandinaviske komponent
involveret – ingen overraskelse der, han ser lidt skandinavsk ud, synes jeg.
22:00 Lois
kommer hjem – Mari-Ann sætter hende af foran huset. Jeg går i seng, men Lois
trænger til at geare ned efter aftenens stimulerende bibelseminar. Stakkels
Lois !!!!!
English
translation
08:00 Lois and
I go in the shower and get up. Lois has to go out at 10 o'clock. She has
agreed to pick up Rose and drive her to the M & S store to meet up with
Sheila at the store's café. All three worked together at a local nursing home
before they retired.
I have a little alone time, and I get started with
writing Christmas cards for relatives and friends on my Christmas card list who
live abroad: 7 in Europe, 5 in the US, 1 in Australia, and 1 in Japan. As usual
I make heavy weather of it.
Decisions, decisions! I have to decide which cards I want
to attach my Christmas newsletter to. Some recipients already know what Lois and
I have been doing this year and others don't give a damn about it ha ha ha!
I take a lot of care over exactly what I write inside the
card so it sounds friendly but not too friendly: it's safe to say that
"Here's hoping we can finally meet up again in 2018" because I cannot be
held to account for that in a court of law ha ha ha (again).
I have always been interested in languages and accents,
and when I see an opportunity to do some research on accents online, I seize it
eagerly. One of my cards contains a bit of wordplay that is understandable but does
not work perfectly in England, although it works in most parts of North
America. So I find an appropriate
recipient to send the card to. The wordplay depends on pronouncing the English
word "merry" and the English name "Mary" in the same way
["Merry Christmas" and "Mary Christmas"].
Mary Christmas
This play on words does not quite work in Britain,
Australia, etc., but it works in the United States and Canada, except for the
northeastern states of the USA (in particular the cities of Philadelphia and
New York and the state of Rhode Island) and perhaps the city of Montreal for
some reason - good grief! Have you ever known such a strange language as
English !!!!
Finally, it's a bit of a nightmare to find out what kind
of stamps to stick on the envelopes. I look at the Royal Mail website, but it's
really badly organized - no surprise there !!! I have to weigh the cards, but
first I have to switch units on the kitchen scales so it shows metric instead of
pounds and ounces - damn! The lowest price applies to cards weighing less than
20 grams. It's a little annoying that most cards weigh exactly 20 grams - damn
(again) !!!!
After all that messing around, I feel a bit faint, so I
lie down for half an hour - yikes !!! Life is hard sometimes.
I'm not trying to get sympathy, but now I feel a bit
like a limp rag, like a vicar's handshake, as Larry Grayson, the camp
comedian, used to say. I would normally apply my special "Fiery Jack"
ointment to selected body-parts - but recently it has tended to bring me out in a rash for some
reason.
11:45 I decide I am strong enough to continue. I go along
to the nearest mailbox and post them off. Now only hundreds of British
recipients are left - yikes, what a nightmare !!!!
12:00 I hurry into the kitchen and make lunch. After the
meal I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap. Lois comes back while I am
asleep.
16:00 I get up. We relax with a cup of tea on the couch
and talk a bit about Christmas decorations, etc. I tell Lois about an email
that Steve, my brother in law, has sent me. It turns out that the police now
warn that it could be considered a sexual assault to do anything under the
mistletoe without everyone in sight having consented to it. Good grief, what
madness! Suddenly, Sheldon's mania for drawing up a relationship agreement with
his girlfriend, Amy, in the Big Bang Theory TV sitcom begins to make sense.
What a crazy world we live in !!!!
Sometimes it can be a bit annoying to live in such a
litigious society. I always knew that this characteristic in our society dated
from Anglo-Saxon times, but I only recently found that all those Danish
immigrants, in the 10th century and later, actually made things much worse -
they were even more litigious than the English, and loved nothing better than
to sue each other over one thing or another.
In fact for a period there existed two legal systems in
the country, and the one in the Danelaw was much stricter, and fines were
higher. Although I suspect that it could have been possible to get away with a
smaller fine if you told the Danelaw judge that you did not realize you had
crossed the line. It would have been worth a try at least.
Punishments were stricter in the
Danelaw - oh dear,
one had to be careful !!!!
A sensible practice introduced by the Danelaw was not to
differentiate different types of misdemeanours: they were all called just
"misdemeanours", nothing more. Only felonies were described in detail
and had corresponding penalties. This would have reduced costs - no doubt about
that.
17:30 We have dinner a bit earlier than usual, and
afterwards Lois has to go out. She wants to attend a Bible seminar taking place
this evening in the town of Brockworth. Mari-Ann and Alf swing by and pick her
up, which is a refreshing change, and I can stay sitting in my "good" armchair ha
ha ha.
I have a little alone time and watch a bit of television.
An interesting documentary (1st part of 3) is on, about all the people who have
invaded the British Isles over the millennia. The program's presenter is the
charming Sam Willis.
It is very interesting to see the impact of DNA studies
on history and prehistory, I must say that. Many of these studies have caused a
lot of historians' most cherished theories to be abandoned in the past 20 years, no
doubt about that!
DNA studies have made it all a lot simpler than before.
After the last ice age, which ended 12,000 years ago when the British Isles
were uninhabited, there have been only 3 really big invasions when it comes to
DNA changes: first, a bunch of "hunters-gatherers" populated the
country.
After that there were 2 major invasions, both of which
wiped out the previous inhabitants, DNA studies show. The first farmers arrived
approx. 6,000 years ago. And the beaker people who are known for the beakers
they brought with them arrived approx. 4,500 years ago.
Ca. 70% of Europeans' DNA genomes can be traced back to
the Beaker people's. However, within our DNA, there are variations that depend
on exactly where one's ancestors came from. The documentary's host, Sam Willis,
gets his DNA tested during the program, and he finds that there is a strong
Scandinavian component involved - no surprise there, he looks a little
Scandinavian, I think.
22:00 Lois comes home - Mari-Ann drops her off in front
of the house. I go to bed, but Lois needs to wind down after the evening's
stimulating Bible seminar. Poor Lois !!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment