Onsdag den 13. december 2017

09:30 Lois går hen rundt om hjørnet til Billie Shears, den lokale frisørforretning – hun har aftale hos James, sin damefrisør. Hun kommer tilbage kl 10 og går i gang med at samle ingredienserne, gryderne osv, hun har brug for: i dag har hun tænkt sig at lave årets julekage. Hun plejer at sige, at det er forberedelserne, der tager mest tid og er den mest besværlige del af processen – selve kagelavning er en let sag, synes hun.

Lois kommer tilbage fra den lokale frisørforretning

og gå i gang med at lave årets julekage

10:00 Jeg sætter mig foran computeren. Vores U3A danske gruppe holder dens næste møde i morgen eftermiddag, så derfor giver jeg mig til udarbejde en ordforrådtest, jeg vil have dem til at forsøge sig med. De rigtige svar staver sætningen, ” jeg glæder mig i denne tid, nu falder julesneen hvid, og så må julen komme!”, en citat fra ”Begyndelsen på Peters Jul” (1866) af Johan Krohn, dansk skolebestyrer og børnebogsforfatter – citaten fortsætter:  Min far hver dag i byen går, og når han kommer hjem, jeg står og ser hans store lomme.

Jeg går ud fra, at henvisningen til farens store lomme handlede om julegaverne, Peters far købte til ham, da han var i byen. I de tider var mænd rigtige mænd, og ville have skammet sig over at gå med en indkøbspose i hånden. Mænds bukser havde dybere lommer, sandsynligvis. Også børn var tilfredse med meget mindre gaver, end i dag: en appelsin måske, en legetøjssoldat, eller blikfløjte. Simplere tider!

Jeg havde lyst til at finde en forholdsvis harmløs, intetsigende, uskyldsren og samtidig hjertevarmende citat at begynde sessionen med, fordi resten af morgendagens møde vil være ganske dampende. Snart efter vi begynder at oplæse sammen de næste 10 sider af ”Forbandet”, Gittemie Eriksens kriminovelle, der er gruppens nuværende projekt, skal vi fordybe os i en hed sexscene mellem novellens helt, landbetjent Per Jansson, og hans kone, hvilket kommer til at være ganske pinligt, synes jeg. Jeg har bedt Lois om at sikre, at vi har bunkevis af lugesalt ved hånden, for det tilfælde, at det hele bliver for meget for en eller anden gruppemedlem. Sikke et vanvid!!!!!

Gittemie Ericksen, forfatteren af ”Forbandet” krimi-novellen,

med dens dampende sexscener: hvor er hvor bliver min lugesalt af?

13:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en gigantisk eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 15:30 og kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg søger de ”seneste” forhistoriske nyheder, som sædvanligt, men  jeg får lidt af en chok, det må jeg indrømme.

Den indflydelsesrige danske nyhedskilde, ekstrabladet.com, rapporterer, at arkæolog og professor Terry Meade har publiseret sin nye teori om, hvorfor den 5000 år gamle berømt stenmonument Stonehenge blev bygget. Ifølge Meade var Stonehenge en del af en fertilitets-kult og blev bygget således, at det kaster fallisk-lignende skygger, der penetrerer hinanden.

Stonehenge: Storbritanniens 5.000 år gamle stenmonument.

I dag får vi nys om en ny teori, der forklarer monumentets formål

Ifølge professoren symboliserer stenenes skygger fertilitet på den måde, at 'mande-stenene' er placeret således, at deres silhuetter penetrerer 'kvinde-stenene' på bestemte tidspunkter.

Hans konklusion af studiet er dermed, at Stonehenge i sin tid blev bygget for at forbedre frugtbarheden.

”Mine grundlæggende fund er, at mange stencirkler blev bygget i forbindelse med en frugtbarhedsreligion, og at stenene blev placeret på den måde, at stenene, der symboliserer manden, ved solopgang på 'lovende' datoer kaster fallisk-lignende skygger hen til de ventende sten, som symboliser kvinden”, sagde han til det britiske medie.

optionally (Professoren har undersøgt omkring 20 stencirkler i hele Storbritannien og har fundet ud af, at 'fertilitets-skyggerne' sker på otte datoer, hvoraf første gang er ved vintersolhvervet, hvilket er den dag på året, hvor solen når sin laveste højde.

Ifølge Terry Meade repræsenterer de otte 'fertilitets-dage', som udover sommer- og vintersolhvervet blandt andet inkluderer den længste og den korteste dag samt de to årlige jævndøgn, vigtige datoer for landbruget, og det er højst sandsynligt derfor, det er disse datoer, stenene 'penetrerer' hinanden.

Vurderingen baserer professoren på, at de øvrige 'fertilitets-datoer' blandt andet ligger i starten af august, hvor høsten af hvede begyndte samt på Allehelgensaften den 31. oktober, hvor kvæget blev slagtet. Stakkels kvæg!!!!

Men alt i alt, sikke et vanvid! En eller anden her har en sjofel tankegang – ingen tvivl om det! Men hvem er det, der har den frække indbildingskraft: er det professoren eller var det de oprindlige neolitiske monumentbyggere? Det er jeg ikke helt sikker på – juryen er stadig ude om det.

17:00 Jeg fortsætter med at kigge på nettet. Jeg finder Morten Ingemanns seneste tegneseriestribe. Du godeste! Jeg får lidt af et chok.

Danske Ingemann er min yndlingstegner  – ingen tvivl om det! Han interesserer sig især for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende eller ældre folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.

Danske Morten Ingemann, min yndlingstegner.

Ingemann er en af mine vigtiste kilder, når det kommer til at forstå det danske samfund. Men jeg synes, at han i dag for en gangs skyld synliggør et problem, der overtræder nationale grænser, og påvirker alle de, der arbejde hjemmefra. Spørgsmålet er, hvordan man arbejder effektivt hjemmefra uden af blive konstant distraheret, med forskellige fristelser som for eksempel fristelsen at tage en pause for at lave en kop kaffe osv.  

I dag er vi i et motionscenter. Vi ser to kvinder, der sandsynligvis er i 40’erne, ikke længere i deres bedste alder måske, træne med vægter.

Den ene kvinde fortæller den anden, at hun er begyndt at stå model for en kunstmaler, og hendes veninde spørger hende om, om hun poserer nøgen. Den første kvinde svarer, at hun er nøgen kun hver anden gang, fordi han skal jo også male. Distraheren kommer trods alt i mange forskellige former, lader det til, og at arbejde hjemmefra kræver bunkevis af disciplin – ingen tvivl om det!!!

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad, og bruger resten af aftenen på at se lidt fjernsyn. Lois er forståeligt udmattet efter sin hårde dag i køkkenet, og hun trænger til at slappe af og geare lidt ned. Hun er ikke længere så frisk og frejdig, som i morges, da hun kom tilbage fra damefrisøren med sit nyklippede hår. Stakkels Lois!!!!!

De viser sæsonens 6. og sidste afsnit af en morsom ny sitcomserie, Moderland, der handler om Julia, en nogle-og-30 mor til 2 børn, der har svært med at jonglere sit job med sine pligter som mor – hendes egen mor har holdt op med at hjælpe til med børnepleje, og hendes mand virker aldrig at være til rådighed til at dele ansvaret – stakkels Julia!

Det er rart at se en britisk sitcom, der får os til at hulke af grin: i årevis de eneste sitcoms, der har fået os til at falde om af grin, har været amerikanske. Jeg ser, at Graham Linehan er en af forfatterne: han skrev også Father Ted i 1990’erne: det er rart at se, at det ikke har gået tilbage for ham.

Sitcommen er meget morsom men også lidt stressende. Både Lois og jeg mærker Julias farlige stressniveauer en gang imellem under hvert afsnit, og derfor Lois altid anbefaler, at vi ikke ser programmet lige inden sengetid – yikes!!!

Der er en ekstra stressfaktor i aften. Julie finder endeligt en australsk barnepige, der i begyndelsen synes at være det perfekte valg, men som senere begynder at få overtaget over Julie: snart er det barnepigen, der giver ordrerne og får Julie til at løbe ærinder for sig. Du godeste, sikke et mareridt!!!

Der er mange morsomme scener i caféen, hvor alle de lokale unge mødre mødes for at drikke en kop kaffe og snakke lidt. Der er ”det store bord”, hvor alle de ”fede” mødre sidder og kryber for superfede Amanda, og ”det toilet-bord” (ved siden af døren til toiletterne), hvor Julie sidder, med sin veninde Liz, og Kevin, caféens eneste pappaledig/pappa latte.

I de seneste to afsnit er Amanda, caféens ”bidronning” blevet fraværende, efter hun mister ansigt på grund af et rygte. Caféens andre mødre hørte et rygte om, at Amanda har deltelt i en ”trekant” med sin mand og en ikke-vagthavende soldat, i et forsøg på at redde deres ægteskab.

I aften risikerer Amanda en noget nervøs tilbagekomst til ”det store bord”, men hun ånder lettet op, da hun opdager, at de andre kvinder kun interesserer sig for detaljerne om hendes trekant, og hvordan den blev arrangeret. Du godeste, sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!!

Amanda genvinder hurtigt sin ”bidronning”-status, og den stærkt ufede Kevin, caféens ”pappa latte” bliver tvunget til at flytte tilbage til ”det toilet-bord”, efter en kort regeringstid som ”bikonge”.

Mens Kevin, der tidligere arbejdede i IT-branchen, havde sin korte regeringstid på caféen, prøvede han at overtale mødrene til at skifte fra ”whatsapp” til  ”whozis”, for at snakke og planlægge gruppens fælles aktiviteter, men hans indsatser for at ”uddanne” dem endte altid med fiasko.

Kevins indsatser for at uddanne mødrene i ”whozis”

endte altid med fiasko – stakkels Kevin !!!!

22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzzz!!!!!!

English translation

09:30 Lois walks around the corner to Billie Shears, the local hairdresser's shop - she has an appointment with James, her hairdresser. She comes back at 10 o'clock and starts collecting the ingredients, pots, pans, etc. she needs: she's going to make this year's Christmas cake today. She usually says that it's the preparations that take the most time and are the most difficult part of the process - the cake-making itself is an easy matter, she thinks (piece of cake).

Lois comes back from the local hairdresser's 

and starts making this year's Christmas cake

10:00 I sit down in front of the computer. Our U3A Danish group is holding its next meeting tomorrow afternoon, so I put together a vocabulary test I want them to try. The correct answers spell out the sentence, "I love this time, the Christmas snow is falling , and Christmas must be coming!", a quote from "The Beginning of Peter's Christmas" (1866) by Johan Krohn, Danish school director and children's writer - the quotation continues : My father goes to town every day, and when he gets home, I stand and look at his big pocket.

I assume that the reference to the father's big pocket was about the Christmas presents Peter's father bought him when he was in town. In those days men were real men, and would be ashamed to go about with a shopping bag in their hand. Men's pants had deeper pockets, probably. Also children were satisfied with much smaller gifts than today: an orange maybe, a toy soldier, or a penny whistle. Simpler times!

I wanted to find a relatively harmless, bland, innocent and at the same time heartwarming quote to begin the session with, because the rest of tomorrow's meeting will be quite steamy. Soon after we begin to read together the next 10 pages of "Accursed", Gittemie Eriksen's crime novella, which is the group's current project, we have to plunge into a torrid sex-scene between the novel's hero Constable Per Jansson and his wife, which is going to be pretty embarrassing, I think. I have asked Lois to make sure that we have stacks of smelling salts to hand, in the event that it all gets too much for any of the group members. What madness !!!!!

Gittemie Ericksen, the author of the "Accursed" crime novella,

with its steamy sex scenes: where are my smelling salts?

13:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a huge afternoon nap. I get up at 3.30 pm and take a little look online. I search for the "latest" prehistoric news, as usual, but I get a bit of a shock, I have to admit.

The influential Danish news source, ekstrabladet.com, reports that archaeologist and professor Terry Meade has published his new theory of why the 5000-year-old famous stone monument Stonehenge got built. According to Meade, Stonehenge was part of a fertility cult and was built so that the stones throw phantom-like shadows that penetrate each other.

Stonehenge - Britain's 5000 year old stone monument.

Today we get wind of  a new theory that explains the monument's purpose

According to the professor, the shadows of the stones symbolize fertility.  The way the 'man stones' are placed enables their silhouettes to penetrate the 'woman stones' at certain times. His study's conclusion is that Stonehenge was built in an attempt to boost the population's fertility.

"My basic finding is that many stone circles were built to connect with a fertility religion, and that the stones were placed in such a way that at sunrise on 'promising' dates the stones symbolizing the man threw phallic-like shadows onto the 'waiting' stones, which symbolize the woman", he told the British media.

The professor has studied about 20 stone circles throughout the UK and has found that the 'fertility shadows' occur on eight dates, the first being at the winter solstice, which is the day of the year when the sun is at its lowest height.

According to Terry Meade, these eight 'fertility days', in addition to the summer and winter solstice, include the longest and the shortest days as well as the two annual equinoxes, important dates for agriculture, and it is most likely, therefore, that it was on these dates that the stones 'penetrated' each other.

The professor bases the assessment on the fact that the other 'fertility dates' include, for example, the beginning of August when the harvest of wheat began and on All Saints Day on October 31, when the cattle were slaughtered. Poor cattle!!!!!

But all in all, what madness! Someone here has a dirty mind - no doubt about that! But who is the one who has the saucy imagination: is it the professor, or was it the original neo-monolithic monument builders? I'm not entirely sure - the jury is still out on that one.

17:00 I continue to look online. I find Morten Ingemann's latest comic strip. My goodness! I get a bit of a shock.

The Dane Ingemann is my favorite cartoonist - no doubt about that! He is particularly interested in ugly, overweight, middle aged or older people, the kind of people rarely given attention to by most cartoonists.

the Dane, Morten Ingemann, my favorite cartoonist.

Ingemann is one of my most important sources when it comes to understanding Danish society. But I think that today he is highlighting a problem that transcends national borders and affects all those who work from home. The issue is how to work efficiently from home without being constantly distracted, with various temptations, such as the temptation to take a break to make a cup of coffee, etc.

Today we are in a gym. We see two women who are probably in their 40's, no longer in their prime anyway, busy training with weights.

One woman tells the other that she has begun to work as a model for an artist, and her friend asks her if she poses nude. The first woman answers that she is nude only every other time because 'he also has to paint'. 

Distraction comes after all in many different forms, it seems, and working from home requires a whole heap of discipline - no doubt about that!!!

18:00 We have dinner and spend the rest of the evening watching television. Lois is understandably exhausted after her hard day in the kitchen, and she needs to relax and wind down a bit. She is no longer as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as this morning when she came back from the hairdresser's with her fresh haircut. Poor Lois !!!!!

It's the sixth and final episode of the season for a fun new sitcom series, Motherland, all about Julia, a 30-something mother to 2 children who is fighting to juggle her job with her duties as a mother - her own mother has stopped helping with childcare and her husband never seems to be available to share the responsibility - poor Julia!

It's nice to see a British sitcom that makes us sob with laughter: for years the only sitcoms that have made us fall down laughing have been American. I see that Graham Linehan is one of the writers: he also wrote Father Ted in the 1990s: it's nice to see that he has not lost his touch.

The sitcom is very amusing but also a bit stressful. Both Lois and I sense Julia's dangerous stress levels every now and then, and that's why Lois always recommends that we do not watch the program just before bedtime - yikes !!!

There is an additional stress factor tonight. Julie finally finds an (Australian) nanny who initially seems to be the perfect choice, but who later begins to turn the tables on Julie: soon it's the nanny who is giving the orders and getting Julie to run errands. My god, what a nightmare !!!

There are many fun scenes in the cafe where all the local young mothers meet to have a cup of coffee and chat. There is the "big table" where all the "cool" mothers sit and fawn over the supercool Amanda, and "the toilet table" (next to the door to the restrooms) where Julia is sitting, with her friend Liz, and Kevin, the only pappa latte (stay-at-home dad) in the cafe.

In the last two episodes Amanda, the cafe's "queen bee" has been absent after losing face as the result of a rumor. The café's other mothers had heard a rumor that Amanda had taken part in a "threesome" with her husband and an off-duty soldier, in an attempt to save their marriage.

Tonight, Amanda risks a somewhat nervous return to the "big table", but she breathes a sigh of relief when she discovers that the other women only care about the details of her threesome and how it was arranged. Good grief, what a crazy world we live in !!!!!

Amanda quickly regains her "queen bee" status, and the highly uncool Kevin, the café's "Pappa Latte", is forced to move back to the "toilet table" after his short reign as "King Bee".

While Kevin, who was previously employed in the IT industry, was having his short reign at the cafe, he tried to persuade the mothers to switch from "whatsapp" to "whozis" to chat and plan the group's joint activities, but his efforts to " train" them always ended in failure.

Kevin's efforts to train the mothers in "whozis"

always ended in failure - poor Kevin !!!!

22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzzz !!!!!!