Torsdag den 14. december 2017

09:00 Vi går i gang med at rydde op i huset og støvsuge overalt, fordi vores U3A danske gruppes næste møde finder sted i eftermiddag kl 14:30 hos os.

12:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage en kort eftermiddagslur. Jeg står op kl 14.

14:30 Gruppens medlemmer ankommer og vi læser de næste 10 sider af ”Forbandet”, en kriminovelle af Gittemie Eriksen, der er gruppens nuværende projekt. Historien kredser om Per Jansson, landbetjent i en normalt rolig danske landsby, der gør sit bedste for at opspore en masse-morder, der er på fri fod i nabolaget.

Gittemie Eriksen, der skrev ”Forbandet”

Lois og jeg har bekymret os lidt på forhånd over to sexede scener i de 10 sider, der er på dagsordenen. Gruppens normale praksis er at skiftes til at læse en side, og så oversætte den til engelsk. Lois og jeg bekymrer os lidt over, om denne metode kan vise sig at være lidt pinlig i dag, for at sige mildt. For sikkerheds skyld undersøger vi stuen og fjerner alle ornamenter og planter, der kunne blive betragtet som antydende noget uanstændigt. Tonsvis af lugesalt ligger også ved hånden.

Den første sexscene udspiller sig som følger. Vi læser først om en selskabsmiddag, som en verdensbekendt filmstjerne, der bor lidt udenfor landsbyen,  inviterer Per og Vivi, hans kone, til. Middagen er næsten slut, da Per siger, at han og Vivi  desværre skal takke af på grund af et telefopkald fra sin chef, politikommissæren. Men faktisk ser det ud til, at parret af en eller anden grund bare er blevet seksuelt ophidset under middagen, og de faktisk ikke gør andet, da de når hjem, end at have sex. Og de har sex igen den følgende morgen, da Per bør at være på arbejde, og her har novellens forfatter inkluderet lidt for meget information i sin beskrivelse, synes vi.

Men er denne noget grafiske sexscene nødvendig for plottet? Dette pludselige udbrud af seksuel aktivitet mellem parret er lidt af en overraskelse for os, fordi Per og Vivi hidtil har givet indtryk af, at deres sexliv er gået i stå. Derfor tror nogle af vores gruppemedlemmer, at filmstjernen (vores gruppens nr. 1 mistænkte) må have sat noget i deres drinks under middagsselskabet, fordi hun ville have, at Per har andet på hjerte end at undersøge hendes massemord. Og vi får at vide faktisk senere, at endnu to mord finder sted, mens Per og Viv er i gang med at nyde deres lidenskabelige nat.

Den 2. sexscene er strengt taget snarere et sextableau, end en sexscene, fordi de to deltagere, Frederik og Freja, en mand og hans kusine, døde midt i deres samleje. Politiet finder dem stadig i samme stilling men dækkede med blod, hvilket er lidt uhyggeligt, for at sige mildt.

Jeg er uheldig i, at det er min tur at læse op og oversætte til engelsk, da vi når denne scene. Men jeg synes, at tableauer generelt er mindre provokerende, end sexscener fordi der er meget mindre aktion - ingen tvivl om det. Jeg har hørt for eksempel, at politiet tillod Londons berømte Windmill-teater at blive ved med at sætte deres nøgne shows op under hele 2. verdenskrig, på betingelse af, at modellerne ikke bevæger sig.

Jeg finder det imidlertid lidt pinligt at læse scenen op foran vores gruppe, så derfor prøver jeg at fuldføre det hele så hurtigt som muligt, men uden at rømme mig for meget og uden at grine eller fnise på en eller anden pinlig måde, mens jeg taler. Jeg prøver at give indtryk af, at dette slags sextableau, som Frederik og Freja sætter op,  er en hverdagssituation, hvilket kan være lidt af en overdrivelse, men hvad så ?

Jeg får inspiration fra oplevelsen af familien Schaeffer, der for et pat år siden ramte overskrifterne (rapport, den 3. maj 2013, kilde – Onion News).

En meget pinlig oplevelse, fordi familien var blevet i gang med at hygge sig meget og snakke på en begejstret måde under den 1. del af filmen, en PG-13 aktion-eventyr-gyserfilm, men pludselig skulle de sidde i en pinlig tavshed, da en uforventet grafisk sex-scene poppede op på skærmen.

Familiekilder rapporterer, at far, mor og børn alle overvejede at bryde spændingen og aflede opmærksomhed væk fra skærmen, ved at rømme sig, gøre en vittighed, eller spørge om der var en, der gerne vil have en snack, men var lidt bekymrede over, om dette vil forværre siuationen ved at synliggøre deres pinlighed. Til sidst besluttede de sig for at sidde stille og roligt, undgå øjenkontakt, og venter på, at scenen ender, hvilket skete kun ca 15 tilsyneladende endeløse minutter senere, og filmens fornyede grafiske vold fik hele familien til at føle sig meget bedre og mere end lidt lettet oven i købet.

Jeg prøver at minde familiens heltemod, mens jeg sidder og oplæse denne pinlige scene, og efter venter jeg et godt 5 minutter, før jeg tager en slurk af mit glas vand, for at se ligeglad ud.  

16:00 Mødet slutter, men medlemmerne synes at være mere begejstrede, end normalt, og fortsætter med at snakke om dette og hint. Det er rart at vide, at de føler sig afslappede med os og med hinanden, og har ikke lyst til at skynde sig, så snart mødet ender.

16:45 Medlemmerne tager endelig af sted, og Lois og jeg slapper af med en kop te og et stykke kage.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og ser lidt fjernsyn. De viser det 10. afsnit af Big Bang Theorys seneste (11.) sæson. Et morsomt afsnit, der blandt andet handler om en krise i Rajs selvtillid og også hans jobsamtale på det lokale Planetarium.

Raj taler på Skype med sin far i Indien og fortæller

ham om sin seneste jobsamtale

Lois og jeg er begejstet over, at E4-kanalen efter programmets slutning, annoncerer, at de planlægger at vise ”Unge Sheldon”, spin-off serien om Sheldons barndom, først i 2018 – hurra! Tingene begynder at se bedre ud, når det kommer til sitcoms. Steve Coogans ”Alan Partridge”-persona kommer også tilbage til BBC-kanalen næste år.

22:00 Vi går i seng. Sikke en dag!

English translation

09:00 We get started clearing up the house and vacuuming everywhere because our U3A Danish group's next meeting will be taking place here this afternoon at 2:30pm.

12:00 We have lunch and afterwards I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap. I get up at 2pm.

14:30 The members of the group arrive and we read the next 10 pages of "Accursed", a crime novella by Gittemie Eriksen, which is the group's current project. The story revolves around Per Jansson, a constable in a normally quiet Danish village, who is doing his best to track down a mass murderer who is at large in the neighborhood.

Gittemie Eriksen, who wrote "Accursed"

Lois and I have been worrying about two sexy scenes in the 10 pages on the agenda. The group's normal practice is to take turns to read a page out, and then translate it into English. Lois and I are a bit worried about whether this method may prove to be a little embarrassing today, to put it mildly. For safety's sake we investigate our living room and remove all ornaments and plants that could be considered to be hinting at something indecent. A ton of smelling salts is also to hand.

The first sex scene is played as follows. We first read about a dinner-party, to which a world-famous movie star, who lives a little outside the village, invites Per and Vivi, his wife.

The dinner is almost over when Per says that he and Vivi will unfortunately have to take their leave because of a telephone call from his boss, the police superintendent. But in fact, for some reason, the couple seem to have become sexually aroused during the dinner, and they actually do nothing else when they reach home other than have sex. And they have sex again the following morning, when Per should be at work and here the novel's author has included a little too much information in her description, we think.

But is this some graphic sex scene necessary for the plot? This sudden outburst of sexual activity between the couple comes as a bit of a surprise to us because Per and Vivi have so far given the impression that their sex life has ground to a halt.

That's why some of our group members believe that the filmstar (our group's No. 1 suspect) may have put something in their drinks during the dinner party because she wanted Per to have something else on his mind other than investigating her mass-murdering. And we find out later that another two murders actually take place while Per and Vivi are enjoying their night of passion.

The second sex scene is strictly speaking a sex-tableau rather than a sex scene, because the two participants, Frederik and Freja, a man and his cousin, died in the middle of their intercourse. The police find them in the same position but covered with blood, which is a bit creepy to say the least.

I'm unlucky in that it's my turn to read and translate into English when we reach this scene. But I think that tableaus are generally less provocative than sex scenes – there is a lot less action, believe you me. For example, I've heard that the police allowed London's famous Windmill Theater to keep putting on their nude shows during the whole of World War II, on condition that the models did not move.

However, I find it a little awkward to read the scene out in front of our group, so I try to finish it as quickly as possible, but without clearing my throat too much and without laughing or giggling in some embarrassing way while I speak. I try to give the impression that this kind of sex-tableau, which Frederik and Freja are putting on, is an everyday situation, which may be a bit of an exaggeration, but what can you do?

I get inspiration from the experience of the Schaeffer family, who hit the headlines a few years ago (report, May 3, 2013, source - Onion News).

A very embarrassing experience because the family had been enjoying themselves a lot and talking in an enthusiastic way during the first part of the film, a PG-13 action-adventure-horror movie, but suddenly they had to sit in an embarrassed silence, when an unexpected graphic sex scene popped up on the screen.

Family sources report that father, mother and children all considered breaking the tense atmosphere and diverting attention away from the screen, by throat-clearing, making a joke, or asking if there was anyone who would like a snack but they were a bit worried about whether this would exacerbate the situation by highlighting their embarrassment. Eventually, they decided to sit quietly, avoid eye contact, and wait for the scene to end, which occurred only about 15 seemingly endless minutes later, when the film's renewed graphic violence made the whole family feel a whole lot better and more than a little relieved into the bargain.

I try to remember the family's heroism while I'm sitting and reading out this embarrassing scene, and after that I wait a good 5 minutes before taking a sip of my glass of water, so that I seem unconcerned.

16:00 The meeting ends, but members seem to be more excited than usual and continue to talk about this and that. It's nice to know that they feel relaxed with us and with each other and do not want to hurry off as soon as the meeting ends.

16:45 Members finally leave, and Lois and I wind down with a cup of tea and a piece of cake.

18:00 We have dinner and watch a bit of television. The 10th episode of Big Bang Theory's latest (11th) season is on. An amusing episode all about, among other things, a crisis in Raj's self-confidence and also his job interview at the local planetarium.

Raj talks on Skype with his father in India

and tells him about his latest job interview

Lois and I become excited when the E4 channel announces at the end of the program that they are planning to show "Young Sheldon", the spin-off series about Sheldon's childhood, early in 2018 - hurrah! Things are beginning to look up a bit regarding sitcoms. Steve Coogan's "Alan Partridge" persona is also returning to the BBC Channel next year.

22:00 We go to bed. What a day!