17:00 Lois og jeg sidder i sofaen og venter på, at hendes fætter, Brian, og
hans kone, Ruth, ringer til os. De planlægger at deltage i en begravelse i
morgen i Birmingham og de har bedt os om at lade dem overnatte hos os på vej
fra Bournemouth, hvor de bor. Vi ved, at de i dag har spist frokost med Ruths
bror, John, og hans kone, Jill, der bor i en lille landsby mellem Bath og
Bristol. Ruth lovede i går, at hun ville ringe til os, når de forlader Johns
hus, så vi får 45-60 minutters advarsel af deres ankomst. De har bedt Lois om
at lave en let aftensmad til dem.
18:00 Vi har stadig ikke hørt noget fra Ruth. Vi havde forventet, at de
ville ankomme kl 15-16 – du godeste! Vi beslutter at gå i gang med at spise det
lette (kold) aftensmad, som Lois har lavet. Vi er meget sultne!!
20:00 Der er i aften ikke noget frygtelig interessant på fjernsyn, bortset
fra den 3. del af en reality-serie, ”Christmas at the Chateau”, som vi nogle gange se. Serien handler om at
britisk ægtepar, Dick og Angel, der er i gang med at istandsætte et gammelt
fransk slot og omdanne det til et hotel.
Både Dick og Angel er lidt overvægtige (hvilket Lois og jeg godt kan lide),
på trods af, at de begge to hver dag arbejder længe på at renovere slottet.
Programmet er imidlertid ikke frygtelig interessant. Helt ærligt synes Lois og
jeg, at programmets mest interessante syn er Dicks enorme mave og enorme
overskæg og Angels røde hår og knaldrøde læbestift – du godeste, hvor er vi dog
overfladiske, ingen tvivl om det!!!!
Programmets mest interessant syn er Dicks enorme mave og
enorme
overskæg, og Angels røde hår og knaldrøde læbestift –
du
godeste, hvor er vi dog overfladiske!!!
Vi har ikke hørt noget endnu fra Ruth og Brian. Vi beslutter at tænde for
fjernsynet og begynder at se programmet. Men efter 10 minutter, dukker Ruth og
Brian op og ringer på dørklokken, så vi må slukke for det. Du godeste!
Ruth siger, at hun sendte Lois’s mobil en sms, da de var midtvejs mellem
Bristol og Cheltenham, men Lois holder desværre sin mobil slukket – uha! De
afviser Lois’s kold aftensmad, fordi ”hele eftermiddagen blev det ved med at
komme nye retter til os” – du godeste (igen)!!!
Men det er rart at snakke med Ruth og Brian og vise dem de fotos, vi tog i
Australien mellem april og slutningen af juni, da vi var på besøg hos vores
yngste datter, Sarah, og hendes lille familie i Perth. Vi fortæller dem også om
vores besøg hos Lois’s fætter, Stephen, i Adelaide, og hendes kusine, Sylvia, i
Melbourne. Stephen og Sylvia er selvfølgelig også Brians slægtninge.
22:30 Der er stadig intet tegn på, at snakken er ved at løbe tør af damp,
så derfor beder jeg om tilladelse at gå i seng (bare en vag antydning fra
mig!!!) . Jeg ved, at Ruth og Brian begge to er natteravne, og Lois og jeg er
morgenmennesker – ingen tvivl om det!!! Vi ender på dette tidspunkt med at gå
alle fire i seng – hurra!
04:30 Jeg står tidligt op og laver én af mine rutinemæssige danske
ordforrådtester.
Jeg kigger lidt på nettet, og jeg finder Morten Ingemanns seneste
tegneseriestribe. Du godeste! Jeg får lidt af et chok, da jeg ser den – det ved
jeg med sikkerhed!
Danskeren Ingemann er min yndlingstegner
– ingen tvivl om det! Han har mange egenskaber,
som er et must med mig og en stor plus. Han interesserer sig meget for grimme,
overvægtige, midaldrende folk, de slags mennesker, som de fleste tegnere
sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.
Han har en rigtig
forstand på den menneskelige
natur og han fokuserer ofte på de vanskellige problemer, som grimme,
overvægtige, midaldrende folk oplever i deres parforhold.
Men hans seneste stribe viser, hvor stor er den kulturelle kløft er mellem
England og kontinentale Europa, når det kommer til hvad er acceptabelt og hvad ikke
er acceptabelt – det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om !!!!! Man ville aldrig se
sådan en stribe i en engelsk avis – ingen tvil om det!!!!
Vi ser den overvægtige midaldrende julemand, der er begyndt at prøve at
kravle ned i en skorsten med en sæk fuld af julegaver. Men en overvægtig
midaldrende drukkenbolt er klatret op på
taget, og grebet fat i ham. Begge mænd har bukserne nede om anklerne, og hvad
angår julemanden, er for det meste alt vi kan se hans bare røv, der titter frem
fra skorstenen – du godeste! Drukkenbolten siger til julemanden, ”Det er ikke
lige din dag i dag, Julle”. Jeg springer over andre grafiske detaljer på grund
af anstændighed!!!!
Jeg formoder, at dette slags stribe er helt acceptabelt i Danmark, og danskerne
sikkert synes, at vi englændere er lige lidt snerpede – sikke en skør verden vi
lever i !!!! Men er dette den sande ånd af julen?
Men efter min mening har den danske julemand et helt anderledes image end
den engelske, der ligner en flink onkel. Den danske julemand kan godt lide at
nyde livet – ingen tvivl om det! Jeg læste forleden, at otte julemænd natten
til søndag gik amok i Odenses gader efter en
tilsyneladende våd julefrokost, og de blandt andet overfaldt to tilfældige
personer. Tre af julemændene er nu sigtet for vold – uha! Sikke et vanvid!!!!
Tre danske julemænd bliver sigtet for vold – du
godeste!
Sikke en skør verden vi lever i !!!!
Den engelsksprogede julemands image er overhovedet
ikke voldsomt, men nogle gange er det måske nu og da lidt amourøst, synes jeg.
Lois og jeg synes begge to, at den gamle (1950)
sang ”Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney” kan lyde lidt amourøs, hvis en
sangerinde ikke er klar over, at hun synger det på den forkerte måde, hvilket
er lidt af en skam!
Vi har så den gamle 1952 sang, ”I Saw Mummy Kissing
Santa Claus” fra 1930’erne, som den katolske kirke i Boston (USA) fordømte på
grund af sangens blanding af kys og julen. Ræk
mig lige opkastningsposen, Alice!!!!!
07:00 Jeg skynder mig ind I køkkenet og laver to
kopper te og bringer dem op på vores soveværelse. Jeg kryber tilbage i vores
seng og vi drikker teen. Vi står op og spiser alle fire morgenmad.
10:00 Brian og Ruth skal af sted. De ønsker at
deltage i en begravelse, der finder sted i dag i Birmingham. Det er muligt at
de vil besøge venner efter ceremonien, så de ved ikke, hvornår de i aften vil
komme tilbage hos os. Lois vil holde sin mobil tændt, så Ruth kan sende hende
en sms, hvis nødvendigt.
13:00 Lois og jeg er meget trætte. Vi spiser
frokost og bagefter går vi i seng i et par timer. Vi har til hensigt at stå op
kl halv 16 og gå i bad, men da uret slår halv 16, beslutter vi at blive
liggende i sengen i stedet – vi er udmattede!!!! Jeg læser 6 sider af min
sengetidbog, ” 1812: Napoleon’s Fatal March on Moscow”, af Adam Zamoyski, og
Lois læser 12 sider af sin godnatbog, ”Para Handy”.
16:15 Vi står op og slapper af med en kop te på
sofaen. Vi har ikke den fjerneste anelse om, hvornår Ruth og Brian vil dukke op
igen. Vi har ikke hørt noget fra dem. Der er ingen beskeder på Lois’s mobil –
uha!
English translation
17:00 Lois and I sit on the couch and wait for her cousin, Brian, and his
wife, Ruth, to call us. They plan to attend a funeral tomorrow in
Birmingham and they have asked us to let them stay with us on the way from
Bournemouth, where they live. We know that today they have eaten lunch with
Ruth's brother, John, and his wife, Jill, who live in a small village between
Bath and Bristol. Ruth promised yesterday that she would call us when they
leave John's house, so we will have 45-60 minutes' warning of their arrival.
They have asked Lois to make a light supper for them.
18:00 We still have not heard
anything from Ruth. We had expected that they would arrive 4pm - 5pm - my god!
We decide to start eating the light (cold) supper that Lois has made. We are
very hungry !!
20:00 There is nothing terribly
interesting on television tonight, except the third part of a reality series,
"Christmas at the Chateau", which we sometimes see. The series is
about a British couple, Dick and Angel, who are starting to refurbish an old
French chateau and convert it into a hotel.
Both Dick and Angel are slightly
overweight (which Lois and I like), despite the fact that they both work long
hours every day renovating the chateau. The program, however, is not terribly
interesting. Quite honestly, Lois and I think that the program's most
interesting sight is Dick's huge belly and huge moustache and Angel's red hair
and bright red lipstick - my god, how shallow we are, no doubt about it !!!!
The program's most interesting sight is
Dick’s huge belly and
huge moustache, and Angel’s red hair and
bright red lipstick –
my god, how shallow we are !!!
We have not heard anything yet
from Ruth and Brian. We decide to turn on the TV and start watching the
program. But after 10 minutes, Ruth and Brian turn up and ring the doorbell, so
we have to switch it off. My God!
Ruth says she sent Lois's mobile
an SMS when they were midway between Bristol and Cheltenham, but Lois
unfortunately keeps her mobile switched off - oh dear! They reject Lois's cold
supper, because "all afternoon they kept coming with new dishes for
us" - my god (again) !!!
But it's nice to talk to Ruth and
Brian and show them the photos we took in Australia between April and late
June, when we were visiting our youngest daughter, Sarah, and her little family
in Perth. We tell them also about our visit with Lois's cousin, Stephen, in
Adelaide, and her cousin, Sylvia, in Melbourne. Stephen and Sylvia are also
Brian's relatives of course.
22:30 There is still no sign that
the chatting is about to run out of steam, so I ask for permission to go to bed
(just a vague hint from me !!!). I know that Ruth and Brian are both night
owls, and Lois and I are early risers - no doubt about it !!! At this point we
all four of us end up going to bed - hurrah!
04:30 I get up early and do one
of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.
I look a little on the web and I
find Morten Ingemann's latest comic strip. My God! I get a bit of a shock when
I see it - I know that for sure!
The Dane Ingemann is my favorite
cartoonist - no doubt about it! He has many characteristics that are a must
with me and a big plus. He is very interested in ugly, overweight, middle-aged
people, the kind of people that most artists rarely give attention to.
He has a real sense of human
nature and he often focuses on handling the difficult problems that ugly,
overweight, middle-aged people experience in their relationships.
But his latest strip shows the
cultural divide between England and continental Europe, when it comes to what
is acceptable and what is not acceptable - I have no doubts about that !!!!!
You would never see such a strip in an English newspaper - no doubt about it
!!!!
We see the overweight middle-aged
Santa Claus, who has begun to try to crawl down a chimney with a sack full of
Christmas gifts. But an obese middle-aged drunkard has climbed up on the roof
and grabbed hold of him. Both men have pants down around their ankles, and as
far as Santa Claus goes, mostly all we can see is his bare butt, sticking out
from the chimney - my god! The drunkard says to Santa, "It's just not your
day, Santa is it!". I will skip over other graphic details on grounds of
decency !!!!
I suspect that this kind of strip
is quite acceptable in Denmark, and Danes probably think that we English are
just a little uptight - what a crazy world we live in !!!! But is this the true
spirit of Christmas?
But in my opinion, the Danish
Santa Claus has a completely different image than the English one, who
resembles a nice uncle. The Danish Santa Claus likes to enjoy life - no doubt
about it! I read the other day that eight Santas ran amok in the streets of
Odense Sunday night after an apparently drunken Christmas party, and among
other things, attacked two random people. Three of the Santas are now charged
with assault - oh dear! What madness !!!!
Three Danish Santas are going to be
charged with assault - my god!
What a crazy world we live in !!!!
The English-language Santa's
image is not at all violent, but sometimes it is perhaps now and then a little
amorous, I think.
Both Lois and I think that the
old (1950) song, “Santa Claus Got Stuck In My Chimney” can sound a bit amorous
if a singer doesn’t realise she is singing it in the wrong way, which is a bit
of a shame.
We then have the old 1952 song
"I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus" that the Catholic Church in Boston
(USA) condemned because of the song's mixture of kisses and Christmas. Pass the sickbag, Alice !!!!!
07:00 I hurry into the kitchen
and make two cups of tea and bring them up to our bedroom. I creep back in our
bed and we drink the tea. We get up and eat breakfast all four of us.
10:00 Brian and Ruth have to go.
They want to attend a funeral taking place today in Birmingham. It is possible
that they will visit friends after the ceremony, so they do not know when they
will arrive back with us tonight. Lois will keep her mobile switched on, so
Ruth can send her a text message if necessary.
13:00 Lois and I are very tired.
We eat lunch and afterwards we go to bed for a few hours. We intend to get up
at 3.30pm and go in the shower, but when the clock strikes 3.30pm, we decide to
stay in bed instead - we are exhausted !!!! I read six pages of my bedtime
book, "1812: Napoleon's Fatal March on Moscow" by Adam Zamoyski, and
Lois reads 12 pages of her goodnight-book, "Para Handy".
16:15 We get up and relax with a
cup of tea on the sofa. We have not the slightest idea about when Ruth and
Brian will resurface. We have not heard anything from them. There are no
messages on Lois's mobile - oh dear!
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