17:00 Lois og jeg sidder i sofaen og venter på, at hendes fætter, Brian, og
hans kone, Ruth, ringer til os eller sende en sms. De deltager i dag i en
begravelse i Birmingham og efter ceremonien planlægger de besøge forskellige
venner i Birmingham og omegnen. De har bedt os om at lave en let aftensmad til
dem.
18:00 Vi har ikke hørt noget endnu fra dem, og vi er meget sultne. Vi
beslutter os på at spise en hyggelig middag for 2 – hurra!
20:00 Ruth og Brian er ikke dukket op endnu og vi har hørt intet fra dem.
Vi beslutter os på at se lidt fjernsyn. Vi glæder os meget hver uge til at se
mandag aftens programmer, fordi de udsender to af de få programmer, der ikke er
egnede til meget dumme mennesker, to tv-quizzer, University Challenge og Only
Connect. Men der er klart en risiko for, at Ruth og Brian dukker op i løbet af
de to quizzer – uha!
Det viser sig, at vi er heldigere i aften end i går aften, og den er
nøjagtig kl 21, da Ruth og Brian ringer på dørklokken – hurra!
”Only Connect” er især spændende i aften, på trods af Victoria Coren Mitchells
ganske dystre indledning.
Victorias ganske dystre indledning –
derefter
bliver stemningen letter og næsten munter.
21:00 Ruth og Brian sætter sig i stuen og snakken starter igen. Jeg må
indrømme, at det er meget rart at kunne snakke med dem, men det er lidt
uheldigt, at de er det slags par, der begge to taler samtidig, så to adskilte
samtaler ender med at gå i gang. Brian henvender sine bemærkninger altid til
Lois, og Ruth henvender sine bemærkninger til mig, så de begge to skal hæve sin
stemme, og de to samtaler hurtigt bliver højlydte – uha!
En anden ulempe med denne stil af aften er, at jeg prøver at høre Brians og
Lois’s samtale samtidig med, at jeg hører Ruth, og jeg ofte går glip af vigtige og/eller interessante detaljer,
hvilket er lidt utilfredsstillende – du godeste! Jeg foretrækker, at der kun er
én samtale, som alle 4 er med til – det er meget mere hyggelig, synes jeg. Og
hvad mere er, får jeg ikke en hovedpine. Der er forbløffende hvor mange par
prøver at overdøve hinanden.
22:20 Snakken viser
intet tegn på, at løbe tør af damp, så Lois og jeg begynder at give hints, at
det bliver sent, og alle går kl 22:30 i seng – zzzzzz!!!!
05:00 Jeg står tidligt op og laver én af mine
rutinemæssige danske ordforrådtester.
Jeg kigger lidt på
nettet, og jeg ser et charmerende foto af Alison, vores ældste datter, der bor
i København, sammen med Ed, sin mand, og deres 3 børn.
Det viser sig, at én
af Alisons venner har lagt et foto op på Facebook/Instagram, efter en gruppe venner
fra Københavns enorme engelsktalende udstationerede koloni, i går aftes spiste
aftensmad sammen på en lokal restaurant.
Alison i går aftes sammen med en gruppe venner
fra Københavns
enorme engelsktalende udstationerede koloni.
Alison er nummer 2 fra højre.
Alison og Ed har en
fantastisk socialt liv i København. Lois og jeg glæder os til, at de inden alt
for længe flytter tilbage til England, så vi kan se dem oftere, men vi er slet ikke
overrasket, at de vil forlænge deres ophold så meget som muligt – det har jeg
ikke nogen tvivl om !!!
Lois og jeg er begyndt
at tænke på, hvad vi gerne vil lave, mens vi bor hos dem ved juletid. Jeg
kigger på forstaden Gentoftes lokale nyheder websted, og jeg ser, at
udstillingen ”Mellem lys og mørke” finder sted i den lokale kunstgalleri,
Ordrupsgaard, julen og nytåret over – den åbner den 16. december. Udstillingen består af nogle malerier af den
berømte danske maler, L.A. Ring.
Stemningsfyldte landskaber og melankolske skildringer af tidens barske liv
på landet – Laurits Andersen Ring er kendt for sine dystre, socialrealistiske
malerier – uha, ikke de slags malerier, man ønsker sig, når man tænker på de
bedste måder at lyse op en mørk dagligstue på – ingen tvivl om det!!!!
Men der er et ”lys” for enden af tunnelen her ha ha ha. I 1896 giftede maleren
sig med den unge keramiker, Sigrid Kähler, og ægteskabet blev et vendepunkt i
hans liv og kunst. Ligesom stemningen i aftenens tv-quiz Only Connect pludselig
blev lettere efter Victorias dystre indledningen, blev Rings billederne også
lysere, stemningen lettere, efter parrets bryllup, og Ring fandt nye motiver i
det personlige og nære. Bare jeg var en flue på væggen i Laurits’s og Sigrids soveværelse.
Jeg kan forestille mig scenen, da Sigrid beordrede Laurits at ”Op med humøret,
Laurits! Få et liv!!!!!”.
07:45 Jeg skynder mig ind I køkkenet og laver to kopper te. Jeg bringer dem
op på vores soveværelse og kryber tilbage i vores seng. Vi drikker teen og står
op.
10:00 Ruth og Brian er stået op. Vi spiser morgenmad alle sammen, og
snakken starter igen og alle snakker samtidig – pokkers!. Ved slutningen af
morgenmaden har jeg en hovedpine igen. Jeg prøver at undslippe ved at gå ind i
køkkenet og vaske op, men de følger efter mig og står snakkende i køkkenet i et
stykke tid. Til sidste overtaler jeg dem til at sætte sig til rette i
spisestuen, så de alle tre (inklusiv Lois) kan snakke om Lois’s og Brians
familietræ. Jeg går ind i dagligstuen og slapper af endelig – hurra! Jeg kan
godt lide at have ro omkring mig – det er der ikke nogen tvivl om !!!!
Ruth og Brian er meget flinke mennesker, men jeg tænker, jeg kan se hvor
problemet er. Ruth elsker at snakke, og hun tager aldrig en pause, det er
non-stop. Brian har for længe siden lært, at han kan enten lytte bare eller stålsætte
sig og afbryde Ruth, tale i en høj stemme, med en masse hånd-gestusser, og
afvise at holde kæft, fortsættende indtil han er færdig, uanset hvad Ruth gør
og siger – du godeste! Resultatet er, at der for det meste er to samtaler
samtidig i færd, fordi Ruth allerede har
reageret ved at skifte sit samtaleemne og hun taler nu om noget andet. Du
godeste, sikke et mareridt!!!!
For at være alvorlig et øjeblik, kan det imidlertid være skæbnesvangert at
snakke for meget. Jeg kigger på nettet og jeg finder Morten Ingemanns seneste
tegneseriestribe. Danskeren Ingemann er min yndlingstegner – ingen tvivl om
det! Han har mange egenskaber, som er et must med mig og en stor plus. Han
interesserer sig meget for grimme, overvægtige, midaldrende folk, de slags
mennesker, som de fleste tegnere sjældent giver opmærksomhed til.
Han har en rigtig
forstand på den menneskelige
natur og han fokuserer ofte på de vanskellige problemer, som grimme,
overvægtige, midaldrende folk oplever i deres parforhold.
Og han har altid fingeren på pulsen, når det kommer til samfundets største
problemer, som for eksempel, mennesker, der aldrig holder op med at snakke. Hvor
mange af os har ikke lidt af sportstrænere, der snakker for meget, mens vi
prøver at mestre en ny sport?
Ingemanns historie i dag handler om en grim, overvægtig, midaldrende
træner, der er i gang med at lære en anden grim, overvægtig, midaldrende mand
at spille golf.
Mandens teknik er meget dårlig, og træneren lader ordene komme på gled. Og
han er lidt sarkastisk, hvilket hjælper ikke på noget. Han starter at holde
tale og belærer sin ”elev”. Han siger, ”Golf
er et besynderligt spil. Man anbringer en lille hvid kugle, der vejer 46 gram
på den græsbeklædte overflade af en gigantisk kugle, der vejer 6.000 trillioner
tons. Alligevel begynder alle nybegyndere altid at slå den store kugle væk
først!”.
Træneren har et sarkastisk udtryk i ansigtet, og det er klar at eleven ikke
er glad for det – det ved jeg med sikkerhed! Vi ser ikke, hvad der så sker, men
jeg formoder at et slags slagsmål starter, og slagsmålet på én eller anden måde
involverer elevens golfkølle. Striber har en fodnote, oplysende os, at træneren
døde på ét eller andet tidspunkt i løbet af eftermiddagen, og det overstående
er min bedste teori om årsagen til døden – du godeste!
13:00 Brian og Ruth skal af sted. De kører hjem til Bournemouth i
eftermiddag. Lois inviterer dem til frokost, men de afviser høfligt, og tager
af sted. Lois og jeg spiser frokost og derefter går jeg i seng og tager mig en gigantisk eftermiddagslur –
zzzzzz!!!
15:00 Jeg står op og kigger lidt på nettet. Det er rart at se, at The Onion
har valgt brasenen som årets fisk i 2016. Den er tilsyneladende en rolig fisk,
og i et år af forskellige politiske chok og uro (Brexit, Trump osv) har de
fleste brasener reageret ved at forblive rolig og ligeglad med det menneskelige
samfund – hurra! Kom så, brasener!
16:00 Lois og jeg sætter os i rette i sofaen og slapper af med en kop te.
Alt er stille og roligt i huset igen.
English translation
17:00 Lois and I sit on the couch and wait for her cousin, Brian, and his
wife, Ruth, to call us or send a text message. They are attending a
funeral in Birmingham today and after the ceremony they plan to visit various
friends in Birmingham and the surrounding area. They have asked us to make a
light supper for them.
18:00 We have not heard anything
from them yet and we are very hungry. We decide to eat a cosy dinner for two -
hurrah!
20:00 Ruth and Brian have not
shown up yet and we have heard nothing from them. We decide to watch TV. We
look forward every week to watching Monday evening's programs because they air
two of the few programs that are not suitable for very stupid people: - two TV
quizzes, University Challenge and Only Connect. However, there is clearly a risk
that Ruth and Brian may show up during the two quizzes - oh dear!
It turns out that we are luckier
tonight than last night, and it is exactly 9pm when Ruth and Brian ring the
doorbell - hurrah!
"Only Connect" is
especially exciting tonight, despite Victoria Coren Mitchell's rather sombre introduction.
Victorias rather sombre introduction -
after that the mood becomes lighter and
almost cheerful
21:00 Ruth and Brian sit down in
the living room and the chat starts again. I must admit that it is very nice to
talk to them, but it's a bit unfortunate that they are the kind of couple who
both speak at the same time, so two separate conversations always end up getting started.
Brian always addresses his remarks to Lois and Ruth addresses her comments to
me, so they both need to raise their voice, and the two conversations quickly
become loud - oh dear!
Another drawback with this style
of evening is that I try to listen to Brian and Lois's conversation while I am
listening to Ruth, and I often miss out on important and / or interesting
details, which is slightly unsatisfying - my god! I prefer it when there is
only one conversation that all 4 join in with - it is much more cosy and
friendly, I think. And what's more, I do not get a headache. It is amazing how
many couples try to drown each other out.
22:20 The chat shows no sign of
running out of steam, so Lois and I start giving hints that it is getting late,
and at 10.30pm everyone goes to bed - zzzzzz !!!!
05:00 I get up early and do one
of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.
I take a little look at the web,
and I see a charming photo of Alison, our oldest daughter who lives in
Copenhagen, along with Ed, her husband and their 3 children.
It seems that one of Alison's
friends has put a photo up on Facebook / Instagram, after a group of friends
from Copenhagen's huge English-speaking expatriate community had dinner
together yesterday evening at a local restaurant.
Alison last night with a group of friends
from Copenhagen's
huge English-speaking expatriate community.
Alison is second from the right.
Alison and Ed have a great social
life in Copenhagen. Lois and I are looking forward to them moving back to
England before too long, so we can see them more often, but we are not
surprised that they want to extend their stay as much as possible - I have no
doubts about that !!!
Lois and I are starting to think
about what we want to do while we are staying with them at Christmas. I look at
the suburb of Gentofte's local news site, and I see that the exhibition
"Between Light and Darkness" takes place in the local art gallery,
Ordrupgaard, over Christmas and New Year - it opens on 16 December. The
exhibition consists of some paintings by the famous Danish painter, L.A. Ring.
Atmospheric landscapes and
melancholy depictions of the day's harsh life in the country - Laurits Andersen
Ring is known for his gloomy, social-realist paintings - oh dear, not the kind
of paintings you wish for when you are thinking about the best ways to brighten
up a dark living room - no doubt about that!!!!
But there is a “light” at the end
of the tunnel here ha ha ha. In 1896 the painter married the young ceramicist, Sigrid
Kähler, and the marriage was a turning point in his life and art. Just as the
mood of tonight’s TV quiz Only Connect suddenly became easier after Victoria's
sombre introduction, Ring's images also became brighter, the mood lighter, after the
couple's wedding, and Ring found new motifs in the personal and close-at-hand.
I wish I had been a fly on the wall of Laurits's and Sigrid’s bedroom. I can
imagine the scene when Sigrid ordered Laurits to "Lighten up, Laurits! Get a life!!!!!".
07:45 I hurry into the kitchen
and make two cups of tea. I bring them up to our bedroom and crawl back into
our bed. We drink the tea and get up.
10:00 Ruth and Brian have got up.
We eat breakfast all together, and the talk starts again with everybody talking
at the same time - damn ! By the end of the breakfast, I have a headache
again. I try to escape by going into the kitchen and washing the dishes, but
they follow me and stand talking in the kitchen for a while. Finally I persuade
them to settle down in the dining room so they can all (including Lois) talk
about Lois's and Brian's family tree. I go into the living room and relax
finally - hurrah! I like to have quiet around me - there is no doubt on that
score !!!!
Ruth and Brian are both very nice
people, bu I think I can see where the problem is. Ruth loves to talk, and she
never takes a break, it's non-stop. Brian has long ago learned that he can
either just listen or or steel himself and interrupt Ruth, speaking in a loud
voice, with a lot of hand gestures and refusing to shut up, continuing until he
is finished, no matter what Ruth does and says - my god! The result is that
there are mostly two conversations ongoing at the same time, because Ruth has
already reacted by changing her topic of conversation and she is now talking
about something else. My God, what a nightmare !!!!
To be serious for a moment,
however, it can be fatal to talk too much. I look at the web and I find Morten
Ingemann's latest comic strip. The Dane Ingemann is my favorite cartoonist - no
doubt about it! He has many properties that are a must with me and a big plus.
He is very interested in ugly, overweight, middle-aged people, the kind of
people that most artists rarely give attention to.
He has a real sense of human
nature and he often focuses on the awkward problems that ugly, overweight,
middle-aged people experience in their relationships.
And he always has his finger on
the pulse when it comes to society's biggest problems, for example, people who
never stop talking. How many of us have not suffered from sports coaches who
talk too much while we are trying to master a new sport?
Ingemann's story today is about
an ugly, overweight, middle-aged coach who is starting to teach another ugly,
overweight, middle-aged man to play golf.
The man's technique is very poor,
and the coach lets the words come streaming out. And he's a little sarcastic,
which does not help with anything. He starts to make a speech and lecture his
"student". He says, "Golf is a strange game. We place a small
white ball that weighs 46 grams on the grassy surface of a gigantic ball that
weighs 6,000 trillion tons. Despite this, all new beginners always start by trying to hit the big ball away first! ".
The coach has a sarcastic
expression on his face, and it is clear that the "student" is not
happy about it - I know that for sure! We do not see what happens next, but I
suspect that some kind of fight starts, and the fight somehow involves the
student's golf club. The strip has a footnote, enlightening us that the coach
died at some point during the afternoon, and the above is my best theory about
the cause of death - my god!
13:00 Brian and Ruth have to go.
They are driving home to Bournemouth this afternoon. Lois invites them for
lunch, but they refuse politely and head off. Lois and I eat lunch and then I
go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap - zzzzzz !!!
15:00 I get up and take a look at
the web. It's nice to see that The Onion has chosen bream as fish of the year
in 2016. It is apparently a quiet fish, and in a year of various political
shocks and turmoil (Brexit, Trump, etc.), most bream have responded by
remaining calm and indifferent to human society - hurrah! Come on, bream!
16:00 Lois and I settle down on
the sofa and relax with a cup of tea. Everything is calm and quiet in the house
again.
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