Lørdag den 25. marts 2017 kl 16:30 søndag den 26. marts 2017 kl 16:29

18:00 Vi er meget trætte i aften efter en dags havearbejde og madlavning. Vi er godt oppe i årene – det er noget vi må konfrontere!

Vi spiser aftensmad og bruger resten af aftenen på at blive siddende i sofaen og se lidt fjernsyn, en berømte film, ”Mr Turner”, som jeg for 3 uger siden optog på vores spritnye PlusnetTV-enhed. Filmen handler om livet af Turner, den verdenskendte maler.

Vores aften er præget af mørke og grynt – du godeste! Det er lidt spændende at se på filmen med lyset slukket. Vi har besluttet os for at deltage i ”Earth Hour”, som Steve, vores amerikanske svoger, mindede os om - en international begivenhed, som går ud på at markere klimaproblematikken ved at få virksomheder, myndigheder, organisationer og private til at slukke lyset i en time for at nedbringe strømforbruget og CO₂-udledningen.  Det ligner Lois og mig ikke, at deltage i internationale initiativer – du godeste, hvad sker der så??!!!!

Turner, den verdenskendte maler, sammen med

sin dystre husholderske, Hannah.
Sjovt nok, han skærer en svins hoved til middag!

I vores stue er der mørkt, men desværre i filmen også  – belysningen er utilstrækkelig, som altid, når film skildrer historiske perioder. Og luften er for det meste fyldt med grynt – Timothy Spalding, der spiller Mr Turner, siger ikke ret meget, men han grynter meget hele filmen. Og hans ansigt ligner en svin også – og han fortsætter med at grynte, hvad enten han er ved at tale med andre kunstnere eller med sine kunder, eller han er ved at have svinagtig sex med Hannah sin dystre husholderske, eller han står og maler ét af sine dejlige kunstværker. Sikke et vanvid!!!!

Svinlyde er aftenens tema. Tidligere på aftenen så Lois og jeg Morten Ingemanns seneste tegneseriestribe, der handlede om hvad han kaldte ”sex om øftermiddagen”, og vi indså for første gang, at danske svin siger ”øf, øf, øf” (striben skildrer en bondemand i en lade, i seng med to af sine svin, da hans kone kalder ham ned til kaffe).  Engelske svin siger desværre oink oink oink, så ordspillet desværre ikke virker på engelsk.

Filmen skildrer Turner som arbejdsnarkoman, selv da han er blevet en meget gammel mand og har hjerteproblemer. Hvis han ser noget smukt og interessant i løbet af dagen, føler han en tvang til at sætte sig og skitsere det, så han senere kan male det.

Hans læge advarer ham om, at han ikke må anstrenge sig så meget på grund af risikoen for en tidlig død. Et interessant koncept, som vi ikke har tænkt på før. Er det virkelig sandt, at man kan anstrenge sig for meget og blive syg og dø? Og er det tilfældet, at Lois og jeg anstrenger os for meget, dag ind dag ud? Vi er altid trætte. Det kan være, at vi lider af Turners sygdom. Vi er lidt bekymret nu!!!!!

22:00 Jeg stiller urene en time frem, så de vil være korrekt i morgen, og vi kollapser i sengen.

05:00 Jeg står tidligt op (og det føles som kl 4) og laver én af mine rutinemæssige danske ordforrådtest.

Jeg designer min morsdagskort til Lois og printer det ud – temaet er de to melassetærter, hun i går lavede til min fødselsdag – nam nam på forhånd! Jeg pakker hendes morsdagsgave ind.

08:00 Jeg trisser ind i køkkenet og laver to kopper te. Jeg tager dem med op i soveværelset og hopper op i sengen til Lois. Vi udveksler gaver. Det ville være rart i dag at ligge længe i sengen, men vi har aftalt at tale kl 10 på Skype med Sarah, vores datter i Australien, og med hendes 3,5-årige tvillinger.  Ingen fred til de ugudelige!!!! Vi drikker teen og går i bad. Vi står op og spiser morgenmad.

mig med et udvalg af mine

yndlingsgaver: en flaske gin; en æske turkiske lækkerier; Larkins digte,

som valgt af Martin Amis; billetter til en forestilling af ”De gode gamle dage” 

på byen Leeds’s vaudeville-teater,

 og en rulle af prins Charles’s ”Highgrove” have sejlgarn – hurra!

10:00 Vi taler lidt med Sarah, som aftalt. Familien er lige kommet hjem, efter at have afhentet Francis, Sarahs mand, ved hans sejlklub. Han har brugt dagen på at sejle med to venner – Sarah og tvillingerne stod og kiggede på ham, som båden rykkede nærmere til havnen. Desværre er båden kuldsejlet i havnen, og de tre mænd faldt i vandet – du godeste!!!! Ingen skade sket - de  knækkede alle sammen af grin tilsyneladende.

Desværre faldt tvillingerne i søvn i bilen på vej hjem, så de i begyndelsen er lidt søvnige under vores Skype-opkald. Men de bliver livligere efter et stykke tid og viser os (én efter én) forskellige varer, som Sarah tidligere på dagen har købt i et lokalt supermarked. Sarah siger, at tvillingerne for tiden interesserer sig meget for indkøb, og de ”hjælper” mor ved at skrive deres egne indkøbslister. Hvor er de dog søde!!!!

vi taler lidt med vores datter Sarah og vores børnebørn i Australien,

men børnene er meget søvnige.

12:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter skal Lois af sted. Hun ønsker at deltage i en gudstjeneste, der finder sted i eftermiddag i Tewkesbury.

Jeg har lidt alenetid og kigger lidt på nettet. Steve, min amerikanske svoger, har sendt mig et morsomt elektronisk fødselsdagkort, med en løfte om at forære mig 20 bucks (dollars) som fødselsdaggave. Det lyder meget gavmildt, indtil jeg bliver klar over, at gaven faktisk er et billede af 7 høns, der vimser rundt i gården og siger ”buck, buck, buck” – du godeste! Jeg beslutter at forske lidt på nettet, og jeg finder ud af, at danske høns siger ”gok, gok, gok”. Jeg er blevet helt sikker på, at der er en enorme sprogbarriere i dyreriget, hvilket jeg ikke kendte til. Du godeste – sikke et vanvid!!!!

danske høns siger ”gok gok” – du godeste, sikke et vanvid!!!

14:00 Jeg går i seng for at tage mig en kort eftermiddagslur.

15:30 Jeg står op og Lois kommer tilbage fra Tewkesbury. Vi slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

16:00 Vi taler lidt på Skype med Alison, vores datter i København, også med Ed, Alisons mand, og deres 3 børn, Josie (10), Rosalind (8) og Isaac (6 år). Det er meget sjovt at snakke med dem om deres liv i Danmark, men kameraet virker desværre ikke på Alisons computer i dag. Vi kan høre dem, men vi kan ikke se dem. De kan se os, og jeg viser dem mine yndlingsgaver, som illustreret ovenfor. Det var Alison, der sendte mig digtbogen.

English translation

18:00 We are very tired in the evening after a day of gardening and cooking. We are getting well on in years - that is something we have to confront!

We eat dinner and spend the rest of the evening staying sat on the sofa and watching a little television, a famous movie called "Mr Turner" which I recorded 3 weeks ago on our brand new Plus NetTV device. The film is about the life of Turner, the world renowned painter.

Our evening is pervaded by darkness and grunting - oh my! It's kind of exciting to see the movie with the lights off. We have decided to take part in "Earth Hour". Steve, our American brother-in-law, reminded us about it. It's an international event which aims to highlight climate problems by getting companies, authorities, organisations and individuals to turn off the light for one hour to reduce power consumption and CO2 emissions. It is not like Lois and me to participate in international initiatives - my goodness, whatever next?? !!!!

Turner, the world renowned painter, along with

his sombre housekeeper, Hannah.
Funnily enough, he's cutting up a pig's head for dinner!!!

It is dark in our living room, but unfortunately it's dark in the movie too - the lighting is inadequate, as always when films portray historical periods. And the air is now filled mostly with grunts - Timothy Spalding, who plays Mr. Turner, does not say much, but he grunts a lot throughout the film. His face looks like a pig too - and he continues to grunt, whether he is talking to other artists or with his customers, or while he is having piggish sex with Hannah, his sombre housekeeper, or while he is standing painting one his lovely artworks. What madness !!!!

Pig sounds are tonight's theme. Earlier in the evening Lois and I looked at Morten Ingemann's latest cartoon strip that was about what he called "sex in the hufternoon", and we realized for the first time that Danish pigs go "huff, huff, huff", not “oink, oink, oink” (the cartoon strip depicts a farmer in a barn, in bed with two of his pigs, when his wife calls him down for coffee, hence the title ‘sex in the hufternoon’).

English pigs unfortunately go oink oink oink, as we know, so the pun sadly does not work well in English.

The film depicts Turner as a workaholic, even when he has become a very old man and he has heart problems. If he sees something beautiful and interesting during the day he feels a compulsion to sit and sketch it, so he can paint it later .

His doctor warns him that he must not exert himself so much because of the risk of an early death. An interesting concept that Lois and I have not thought about before. Is it really true that one can exert oneself too much and get sick and die? And is it the case that Lois and I overexert ourselves too much, day in day out? We are always tired. It may be that we suffer from Turner's sickness. We are a little worried now !!!!!

22:00 I put the clocks forward one hour so that they will be correct tomorrow, and we collapse into bed.

05:00 I get up early (it feels like 4am) and do one of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.

I design my mother's day card for Lois and print it out - the theme is the two treacle tarts she made yesterday for my birthday - yum yum in advance! I wrap up her mother's day gift.

08:00 I shuffle into the kitchen and make two cups of tea. I take them up to the bedroom and jump into bed with Lois. We exchange gifts. It would be nice today to stay a bit longer in bed, but we have agreed to speak on Skype at 10 am with Sarah, our daughter in Australia, and with her 3 and a half year old twins. No peace for the wicked !!!! We drink the tea and take a shower. We get up and eat breakfast.

me with a selection of my favourite presents: a bottle of gin;

a box of Turkish delight; Larkin's poetry, as selected by Martin Amis;

tickets for a performance of "The good old days" at the city of Leeds's

vaudeville theatre, and a roll of Prince Charles's "Highgrove" garden twine - hurrah!

10:00 We talk a bit with Sarah, as arranged. The family have just returned home after picking up Francis, Sarah's husband, from his yacht club. He has spent the day sailing with two friends - Sarah and the twins stood and watched him as his boat drew nearer to the harbour. Unfortunately, the boat capsized in the harbour, and the three men fell into the water - my goodness !!!! No harm done - they all cracked up laughing apparently.

Unfortunately the twins fell asleep in the car on the way home, so at the beginning of the Skype call they are a little sleepy. But they become livelier after a while and show us (one by one) different products Sarah bought in a local supermarket earlier in the day. Sarah says that the twins are currently very into shopping, and they "help" mummy by writing their own shopping lists. How cute they are!!!!

we talk a little with our daughter Sarah and our grandchildren in Australia

but the children are very sleepy.

12:00 We have lunch and afterwards Lois must go off. She wants to attend a church service taking place this afternoon in Tewkesbury.

I have a little alone time and take a little look at the web. Steve, my American brother-in-law, has sent me an amusing electronic birthday card with a promise to give me 20 bucks as a birthday gift. It sounds very generous until I become aware that the gift is actually a picture of seven hens bustling around the farmyard going "buck, buck, buck" - my goodness!

I decide to investigate a little on the net and I find out that Danish chickens say "gok, gok, gok". I am now quite sure that there is a huge language barrier in the animal kingdom, which I knew nothing about. Good grief - what madness !!!!

Danish chickens go "gok gok" - good grief, what madness !!!

14:00 I go to bed and take a short afternoon nap.

15:30 I get up and Lois comes back from Tewkesbury. We relax with a cup of tea on the sofa.

16:00 We talk a little on Skype with Alison, our daughter in Copenhagen, also with Ed, Alison's husband, and their three children, Josie (10), Rosalind (8) and Isaac (6 years). It is a lot of fun to talk to them about their lives in Denmark, but the camera is unfortunately not working on Alison's computer today. We can hear them, but we cannot see them. They can see us, and I show them some of my favourite gifts, as illustrated above. It was Alison that sent me the poetry book.