Danskcolin: Onsdag den 29. marts 2017 kl 16:30 torsdag den 30. marts 2017 kl 16:29

17:45 En bekymrende hændelse, der involverer ”vores” kat. Minx er strengt taget Alisons kat, og Lois og jeg har passet på Minx, siden Alison, vores ældste datter, i 2012 flyttede til Danmark. Minx fylder 17 år til den første april (om 3 dage).

Kl 17:45 ser jeg Minx for første gang tisse i hjørnet af stuen, mens jeg sidder og ser på fjernsyn. Det har jeg har aldrig set hende gøre før. Hun har opført sig mærkeligt hele dagen. Uh-oh, et meget dårligt tegn i den alder, synes jeg.

18:00 Vi spiser aftensmad og bagefter skal Lois af sted. Hun ønsker at deltage i en bibelklasse, der finder sted i aften i hendes kirke i Tewkesbury. Mari-Ann, hendes veninde, afhenter hende og kører hende over til Tewkesbury.

Jeg har lidt alenetid, og bruger resten af aftenen på at lytte til radio, et interessant program, der handler om forskellige menneskers oplevelse, da de måtte tømme forældrenes huse eller lejligheder, efter de var død. Programmets vært er den charmerende Clare Jenkins, der taler om sine personlige oplevelser, og snakker med andre, der har måttet foretage dette rørende opgave.

Jeg syntes, at dette ville være et temmelig trist program, men faktisk var dette lidt af en overdrivelse. Men det er mere trist at høre om andre menneskers oplevelser i dette område, end at gå selv igennem processen, synes jeg, fordi det hele bliver til lidt af en pligt, der skal foretages! Jeg har ”begrænset” på en ”effektiv” måde min mors, min fars, og min brors efterladte ejendele til 3 hvide æsker og hver æske måler 18 x 15 x 3 inches (46 x 38 x 8 cm), og det er nok. Jeg har ikke brug for at kigge ind i æskerne. Lois og jeg passede på mine forældre, da de blev gamle, og vi har ikke nogle illusioner om dem. De var ikke perfekte væsener – det har vi ikke nogen tvivl om !!!!

Minderne er de vigtigste ting, de afdøde efterlader. Kun kærligheden skal overleve af os, som Philip Larkin, den berømte engelske digter sagde – denne linje blev citeret under programmet af en efterladte datter, der boede i Hull, Larkins hjemsted. Lois og jeg besøgte for 5 år siden Chichester domkirke, og vi så den grav, der inspirerede Larkin – en middelalderlige ægtepar, der stadig flere år efter deres død holder hinanden i hånden, et sandelig rørende syn.

tilbageblik til 2012. Lois og jeg besøger Chichester Domkirke

og ser den berømte Arundel-grav, der inspirerede Larkins digt.

Det er lidt pinligt, når man tænker på sine egne sønner eller døtre i færd med at rydde op og tømme éns egne hus. Det er heldigt, at jeg ikke vil være der, når de gør det, gudskelov!!!! Det er mit værste mareridt, at Lois og jeg på grund af vores stigende svaghed ikke vil kunne flytte fra dette hus og denne have – de er nu alt for store for os, siden vores døtre for mange år siden gik hjemmefra ud i verden. Du godeste!

Jeg har næsten opgivet håbet om at kunne forlade dette hus. Hvis vi ikke flytter herfra indenfor de næste 2 år, er vi dømt til at forblive her, synes jeg, og vi må kun håbe, at der vil være nok penge i banken, så vi har råd til at få taget repareret osv, og til at betale en havemand. Du godeste! Lois kan ikke lide at smide ting væk uden at tilbyde dem til familie eller venner eller velgørende organisationer, men vi har simpelthen for mange ejendele, og det er ikke en praktisk mulighed længere.

Hvis vi stadig bor i dette hus, når vi kradser af, eller når mændene i hvide kitler tager os væk, vil det være en trist opgave for (sandsynligvis) Alison at rydde op i huset og tømme det, fordi vores familie flyttede herinde for 31 år siden, da Alison var 10 og Sarah var 8.

21:00 Jeg fortsætter med at lytte til radio, et andet interessant program, der handler om den såkaldte ”skønhedspolitik”. Programmets vært er den charmerende Laurie Taylor.

Laurie taler først med Abigail Brooks, en amerikansk sociologiprofessor, der mener, at kvinder vælger at have kosmetisk kirurgi eller andre skønhedsbehandlinger for det meste, fordi de vil ser gode ud i fotos, især fotos, som er blevet lagt op på de sociale medier – Instagram for eksempel. Mange kvinder tager op til 50 selfies om dagen, og de bruger også software for at forbedre imaget, før de lægger dem op på de sociale medier.

Abigail Brooks

Mange kvinder siger også, at de må perfektionere deres udseende for at blive taget alvorligt i deres karriere. Jeg har selv en lille nebengesjæft som klaverspiller i bars og bordeller, og jeg besluttede for nylig at opdatere og perfektionere mit personlige reklamfoto – resultaterne er forbløffende, det må jeg indrømme.

før: mit ”normale” look i barer og bordeller

efter (ved hjælp af Perfect365 software!): mit ”forbedrede” look

Tilbageblik til 2010: Mit personlige reklamfoto, som jeg fik taget,

da jeg spillede John Ruskins oprindelige viktorianske klaver

efter vores datter Sarahs bryllup. I det andet foto har jeg har brugt

Perfect365-software for at fjerne overdreven makeup og hudglans/glød

Der er to typer af kvinder, siger Abigail, når det kommer til at stå overfor problemerne af at ældes: de, der gør deres bedste for at fortsætte med at se unge ud (ved hjælp af kosmetisk kirurgi eller andre ikke-kirurgiske behandlinger), og de, der mener at ældes er en naturlig proces , og man må ikke modstå denne proces – de har en mere positiv attitude overfor at ældes. Det vigtigste er at sikre, at man er omgivet af kvinder, der har samme mening – så man må give op alle éns venner, der tilhører den modsætte gruppe!!!!

Programmets vært, den charmerende Laurie Taylor, taler derefter med Ros Gill, en engelsk sociologiprofessor, der lærer os om skønhedspolitik. Jeg anede ikke, at neoliberalismen kredser sig ikke bare om økonomien, men også om at alle nu er ansvarlige for at perfektionere deres udseende på samme måden, som professionelle modeller, så de hele tiden kan se smukke og sexede ud og have de bedste mulige seksuelle oplevelser. De må arbejde hårdt på kroppene og gøre alt muligt for at perfektionere deres look – barbering, intim barbering, gymnastik, det frækkeste lingeri osv; de må perfektionere belysningen i soveværelset, så den er flatterende, og vælge de sexstillinger, der er mest flatterende og fremviser deres mest attraktive kropsdele – du godeste!!!!

Rosalind Gill

Man må også perfektionere éns personlighed, så man bliver legesyg, eventyrlysten, selvsikker, så du tiltrækker den modsatte køn så meget som muligt. Det er forbudt at føle sig selvbevidst eller nervøse, fordi dette ville gøre én mindre attraktiv. Så derfor er det hele meget basalt og simpelt – og det er lidt af en lettelse!!!

Det slags arbejde må være konstant og fortsætte hele livet. Det er en vigtigt aspekt af neoliberalismen, siger Ros. Jeg håber kun, at filosofiens store guruer, som for eksempel, Milton Friedman og Friedrich Hayek, var samvittighedsfulde, når det kom til neoliberalismens seksuelle side og holdt sig i form, velskabte og sexede for den modsatte køn.

22:00 Lois kommer hjem igen. Jeg går i seng, men Lois trænger til at slappe af lidt og geare ned efter aftenens stimulerende bibelklasse – stakkels Lois!!!! Hun blive oppe og ser lidt fjernsyn.

22:30 Lois kryber under dynen til mig. Zzzzzzz!!!!

05:45 Jeg står tidligt op og laver én af mine rutinemæssige danske ordforrådtest.

07:30 Jeg trisser ind i køkkenet og laver to kopper te. Jeg bemærker, at Minx, Alisons kat, har tisset i hjørnet af køkkenet, selvom hun kunne være gået ud i baghaven gennem kattedøren. Det er et dårligt tegn igen – det må jeg indrømme!!!

Jeg tager teen med op i soveværelset og hopper op i sengen til Lois. Vi drikker teen og går i bad. Vi står op og spiser morgenmad. Vi beslutter at bestille en tid hos dyrelægen.

11:00 Vi tager Minx med til dyrelægens klinik, der ligger ved siden af hestevæddeløbsbanen. Dyrelægen synes, at problemet kunne være blærebetændelse og han giver Minx et par anti-biotiske injektioner. Han siger, at hvis det drejer sig om blærebetændelse, skulle vi se en forbedring i de næste 24 timer. Hvis ikke, må vi tage Minx ind igen og han vil foretage en blodprøve. Stakkels Minx!!!! Men vi ånder lettet op, at det nødvendigvis ikke er noget alvorligt.

11:45 Vi taler lidt på Skype med Alison, vores datter i København. Vi fortæller hende de seneste nyheder om Minx og snakker lidt med hende om Eds job – hans selskab har besluttet at trække sig ud af Skandinavien. Alison siger, at situationen nu er ikke mindre sikker, end den var før, men det er nu muligt, at én af de danske datterselskaber tilbyder ham et job. Familien vil ikke flytte tilbage til England på de næste 12 måneder. Ellers han vil søge et job, forhåbentlig på et højere niveau, og jobbet kunne være hvor som helst i verden – du godeste!

Det er lidt af en skam, at Lois og jeg ikke fik flere børn, så én af dem ville kunne bo i England og støtte os i vores alderdom!!!!

vi taler lidt på Skype med Alison, vores datter i København

12:30 Vi spiser frokost. Det synes allerede, at Minx, Alisons kat, har det lidt bedre, så måske havde dyrelægen ret i, at hun lider af blærebetændelse – hurra!

14:30 Vi går en kort tur i nabolaget op til hestevæddeløbsbanen, vores rute: Borgergade, Bowbridge Lane, Park Lane og tilbage igen. Vi bemærker, hvor smuk vores forhave ser ud i år.

Vores forhave - hvor er den dog smuk!!!

15:30 Vi kommer hjem og slapper af med en kop te i sofaen.

English translation

17:45 A troubling incident involving "our" cat. Minx is strictly Alison's cat, but Lois and I have looked after Minx, since Alison, our eldest daughter, moved to Denmark in 2012. Minx's 17th birthday on April 1 (in 3 days).

At 17:45 I see Minx pee in the corner of the living room for the first time while I sit and watch television. That's something I've never seen her do before. She has been acting strange all day. Uh-oh, a very bad sign at that age, I think.

18:00 Dinner, and afterwards Lois must away. She wants to attend a Bible class taking place tonight at her church in Tewkesbury. Mari-Ann, her friend, picks her up and drives her over to Tewkesbury.

I have a little alone time, and spend the rest of the evening listening to the radio, an interesting program that is all about different people's experiences when they had to clear out their parents' houses or apartments after they had died. The program's host is the charming Clare Jenkins, who talks about her personal experiences, and talks with others who have had to carry out this touching task.

I thought this would be a pretty sad program, but actually this is a bit of an exaggeration. But it is more sad to hear about other people's experiences in this area, than to go through the process oneself, I think, because it all comes down to another duty to carry out! I have "confined" my mum, my dad, and my brother's surviving belongings, in a very "efficient" way, to three white boxes, each box measuring 18 x 15 x 3 inches (46 x 38 x 8 cm), and that is enough. I do not need to look into the boxes. Lois and I took care of my parents when they were old, and we do not have any illusions about them. They were not perfect beings - we have no doubts about that !!!!

Memories are the most important things that the deceased leave behind. What will survive of us is love, as Philip Larkin, the famous English poet said - this line was quoted during the program by a bereaved daughter, who lived in Hull, Larkin's home.

Lois and I visited Chichester Cathedral 5 years ago, and we saw the tomb that inspired Larkin - a medieval couple, still holding hands of stone several years after their death, a truly touching sight.

flashback to 2012. Lois and I visit Chichester Cathedral

and see the famous Arundel tomb that inspired Larkin's poem.

It's a bit embarrassing when one thinks about one's own sons and daughters in the process of cleaning up and emptying one's own house. It is fortunate that I will not be there when they do it, thank goodness !!!! It's my worst nightmare that because of our increasing feebleness Lois and I will not be able to move from this house and this garden - they are now far too big for us, considering that our daughters left home and went out into the world many years ago. My Goodness!

I have almost given up hope of being able to leave this house. If we do not move from here within the next 2 years, we are condemned to remain here, I think, and we can only hope that there will be enough money in the bank to get the roof repaired, etc., and to pay a gardener. My Goodness! Lois does not like to throw things away without offering them to family or friends or charities, but we simply have too many possessions, and this is not a practical option anymore.

If we still live in this house when we kick the bucket or when the men in white coats come and take us away, it will be a sad task for (probably) Alison to clean up the house and empty it because our family moved here 31 years ago when Alison was only 10 and Sarah was eight.

21:00 I continue to listen to the radio, another interesting program that deals with the so-called "politics of beauty". The program's host is the charming Laurie Taylor.

Laurie talks first with Abigail Brooks, an American sociology professor who believes that women mostly choose to have cosmetic surgery or other beauty treatments because they want to look good in photos, especially photos that have been posted on social media - Instagram for example. Many women take up to 50 selfies a day, and they also use software to enhance the image before uploading them.

Abigail Brooks

Many women also say that they have to perfect their appearance to be taken seriously in their careers.

I myself have a little sideline as a piano player in bars and brothels, and I recently decided to enhance and perfect my personal publicity photo - the results are amazing, I must admit.

before: my "normal" look in bars and brothels

after (using Perfect365 software!): my "enhanced" look

Flashback to 2010: My personal publicity photo which I got taken

when I played John Ruskin's original Victorian piano

after our daughter Sarah's wedding. In the second photo I have used

Perfect365 software to remove excessive makeup and skin shine / glow

There are two types of women, says Abigail when it comes to facing the problems of ageing: those who are doing their best to continue to look young (with the help of cosmetic surgery or other non-surgical treatments), and those who believe that ageing is a natural process, and that one must not resist this process - that group have a more positive attitude towards ageing. The key is to ensure that you are surrounded by women who have the same opinion as you do - so you have to give up all your friends who belong to the opposing group !!!!

The program's host, the charming Laurie Taylor, then talks with Ros Gill, a British sociology professor who teaches us about the politics of beauty. I had no idea that neoliberalism is apparently not just about the economy but also about the fact that everybody is now responsible for perfecting their appearance in the same way as professional models, so they can always look beautiful and sexy and have the best possible sexual experiences. They must work hard on their bodies and do everything possible to perfect their look - shaving, intimate shaving, gymnastics, choosing the naughtiest possible lingerie etc; they must perfect the lighting in the bedroom, so it is flattering, and choose the sexual positions that are most flattering and display their most attractive body parts - my goodness !!!!

Rosalind Gill

One must also perfect one's personality, so one becomes playful, adventurous, self-confident, and attracts the opposite sex as much as possible. It is prohibited to feel self-conscious or nervous because this would make one less attractive. So it is all very basic and simple after all - that's a bit of a relief !!!

This kind of work must be a constant occupation continuing throughout life. It is an important aspect of neoliberalism, says Ros. I only hope that the philosophy's great gurus, such as Milton Friedman and Friedrich Hayek, were conscientious when it came to neoliberalism's sexual side and kept in shape, constantly well-sculpted and sexy for the benefit of the opposite sex.

22:00 Lois comes home again. I go to bed, but Lois needs to relax a bit and unwind after the evening's stimulating Bible class - poor Lois !!!! She stays up and watches a little television.

22:30 Lois crawls under the covers with me. Zzzzzzz !!!!

05:45 I get up early and do one of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.

07:30 I toddle into the kitchen and make two cups of tea. I notice that Minx, Alison's cat, has urinated in the corner of the kitchen, even though she could have gone out into the back garden through the cat flap. It is a bad sign again - I can't deny that !!!

I take the tea up to the bedroom and jump into bed with Lois. We drink the tea and take a shower. We get up and eat breakfast. We decide to book an appointment with the vet.

11:00 We take Minx along to the vet’s clinic next to the racetrack. The vet thinks that the problem could be cystitis and he gives Minx a couple of anti-biotic injections. He says that if it's a case of cystitis we should see an improvement in the next 24 hours. If not, we must take Minx in again and he will carry out a blood test. Poor Minx !!!! But we breathe a sigh of relief that it is not necessarily anything serious.

11:45 We talk a little on Skype with Alison, our daughter in Copenhagen. We tell her the latest news about Minx and talk a bit with her about Ed's job - his company has decided to pull out of Scandinavia. Alison says that the situation now is no less secure than it was before, but it is possible that one of the Danish subsidiaries will offer him a job,, and the family will in any case not move back to England in the next 12 months. If he does not get an offer, he will apply for a job elsewhere, hopefully at a higher level, and that job could be anywhere in the world - my goodness!

It's a bit of a shame that Lois and I did not have more children, so one of them could stay behind in England and support us in our old age !!!!

we talk a little on Skype with Alison, our daughter in Copenhagen

12:30 We eat lunch. It already seems that Minx, Alison's cat, is a little better, so maybe the vet was right that she is suffering from cystitis - hurrah!

14:30 We go for a short walk in the neighborhood up to the racetrack, our route: Borgergade, Bowbridge Lane, Park Lane and back again. We notice how beautiful our front garden looks this year.