18:00 Lois og jeg spiser aftensmad, og bagefter skal vi ud. Lois vil
deltage i et bibelseminar, der finder sted i aften i Brockworth, og hun må ikke
køre bil for tiden, på grund af grå stær. Hun venter stadig på at få en tid ved
specialisten på Gloucester-hospitalet, stakkels Lois. Den første aftale blev
aflyst, fordi specialisten var syg – uha, bare Lois’s held!
Jeg kører hende over til Mari-Ann og Alfs hus og sætter hende af. De vil
køre hende over til Brockworth. Jeg kører hjem og på vej kan jeg igen ikke
modstå fristelsen til at køre forbi Sarahs gamle hus i Leckhampton. Sarah,
vores elskede datter, bor nu sammen med sin lille familie i et klima af masser
af solskin i Perth i Australien, hulk hulk!!!
19:00 Jeg kommer hjem og har lidt alenetid. Jeg bruger resten af aftenen på
at se lidt fjernsyn. De viser en interessant dokumentarfilm, der handler om
historien af Sicilien. Programmets vært er den charmerende unge universitetslektor,
Dr Michael Scott.
Jeg er meget interesseret i at se denne dokumentarfilm, fordi da jeg var 15
år gammel, skulle mine klassekammerater og jeg læse historien af den store
athenske flådeekspedition til Sicilien, der fandt sted i 413-5 f.Kr. Vi var
forholdsvis normale unge fyr (ha ha ha - mener jeg det alvorligt??!!!!!), og
for det meste blev vi ikke ret følelsemæssigt rørt af de græske og latinske
værker, vi skulle takle – det hele var bare en del af det daglige slid og slæb –
uha! Men jeg mindes, at de fleste af os blev dybt rørt af denne tragiske historie.
Ekspeditionens formål var at angribe byen Siracusa, og en enorme flåde
sejlede fra Athen med store forventninger – Athen var dengang verdens største
sømagt. Men ekspeditionen var en total katastrofe, og ingen kom tilbage i live,
hvis jeg husker rigtigt.
Den store athenske flådeekspedition til Sicilien (413-415 f. Kr)
Mange journalister kommenterede i 1982, at den britiske flådeekspedition,
der sejlede fra Southampton for at forsøge at tilbageerobre Falklandsøerne,
kunne ende i katastrofe på samme måde.
Programmets vært, Dr Michael Scott, er uden tvivl meget charmerende men
lidt for entusiastisk til min smag. Han er nødt til at lytte til Larry Davids
råd til at ”bremse din begejstring”. Du godeste, jeg bliver en gnaven ældre
mand – ingen tvivl om det!!!!
Også det er lidt ærgerligt,
at han taler italiensk så flydende. Dokumentarfilmen indeholder mange
unødvendige sekvenser, som synes at blive udtænkt kun for at fremvise hans evne
til at snakke flydende italiensk med en stribe almindelige sicilianere – du godeste!
Sikke et vanvid!!!
Vi ser Michael afprøve at fremstille salt i hånden, sammen med en gruppe
sicilianske saltarbejdere. Hvorfor?
Vi ser Michael afprøve at fremstille salt i hånden – hvorfor?
Bare
et spild af tid – det ved jeg med sikkerhed!!!
Én af sicilianere fortæller en lokal vittighed, der handler om to
politimænd, der går ned ad gaden. Den ene kigger på sin smartphone. Han
kolliderer med et ”ikke stoppe” vejskilt. Han kigger op og læser vejskiltet. Så
derfor fortsætter han med at banke hovedet mod det.
Vi hører en sicilianske vittighed – du godeste! Morsom, men igen,
er
det nødvendigt???
Vi ser også Michael blive barberet af en lokal barber og snakke med ham.
Igen, hvorfor?
Vi ser Michael blive barberet – hvorfor????
Ok,
Michael, vi fatter pointen, du taler godt italiensk!!!!
22:00 Lois kommer tilbage. Alf har sat hende af foran huset. Jeg går i
seng, men Lois trænger til at slappe af og geare ned efter aftenens
stimulerende seminar. Stakkels Lois!!!!
Som sædvanligt anbefaler jeg et par tv-programmer, der efter min mening er
egnede til formålet, to gamle sitcoms fra 1980’erne: ”Yes Minister”, der laver
sjov med engelske embedsmænd, og ”Allo Allo”, der laver sjov med det besatte
Frankrig, den tyske hær, den franske modstandsbevægelse, britiske agenter og
alle klicheerne af den anden verdenskrig i bøger, film, og teaterstykker.
Gordon Kaye, der spillede hovedrollen som en liderlig fransk caféejer, døde
desværre sidste uge.
23:00 Jeg vågner med et sæt, da Lois hopper op i sengen til mig. For en
gangs skyld har hun fulgt min anbefaling. Hurra! Jeg har stadig (efter 44,5 år)
chancer for at dominere hende ha ha ha! Zzzzzzz!!!!
04:45 Jeg står tidligt op og laver én af mine rutinemæssige danske ordforrådtest.
Jeg kigger lidt på
nettet. Min amerikanske svoger har sendt mig en email, med en interessant
nyhed. I hundredvis af år har kvinder verden over brugt en masse tid på at bade
i mælk og honning, også at forberede en speciel ansigtscreme, lavet af (blandt
andet) bivoks, aloe vera og mandelolie, så de kan imitere Cleopatras skønhedshemmeligheder.
Men det viser sig
nu, at dronningen faktisk havde for vane at bruge Dove, en slags sæbe, der er
fremstillet af Unilever, ét af verdens ældste selskaber. Jeg synes, at der vil være mange kvinder, der
vil ånde lettet op, når de hører denne nyhed – ingen tvivl om det!!! Især for
kvinder, der arbejder – er det meget svært at finde tid til at fylde et badekar
med mælk og honning, som del af deres hektiske morgenrutine – uha!
07:30 Jeg skynder
mig ind i køkkenet og laver to kopper te. Jeg tager dem med op i soveværelset
og hopper op i sengen til Lois. Vi drikker teen og står op. Vi spiser
morgenmad.
08:30 Vi går i gang
med at forberede dagligstuen og spisestuen, fordi Ross kommer i formiddag kl 10
for at rense gulvtæppet i spisestuen, og sofaen og to lænestole i dagligstuen.
Vi rykker en masse møbler ud i entréen, og jeg støvsuger lidt. Ross har sin
egen superstøvsuger, men jeg vil ikke have, at han synes, vi ikke holder huset
rent og ryddeligt – det ville være skammeligt ha ha ha.
Jeg falder over
mange objekter, der har gemt sig under puderne – penne, kamme, penge – du godeste!
Men der var i det mindste ingen døde kroppe derunder, gudskelov!!!
10:00 Ross kommer og går i gang med at rense sofaen og de to lænestole i
dagligstuen. Lois og jeg sidder i spisestuen, der nu stort set er tømt for
møbler, bortset fra to spisestuestole, så derfor er det lidt vanskeligt.
13:00 Vi spiser frokost og bagefter går jeg i seng for at tage mig en
gigantisk eftermiddagslur – zzzzz!!
14:00 Ross er færdig med at rense sofaen og lænestole og går i gang med at
rense gulvtæppet i spisestuen. Lois har ikke noget sted at sidde nu, så hun kommer
op i soveværelset til mig, og vi slapper af i sengen. I dag er vi flygtninge på
fri fod – ingen tvivl om det!
15:00 Ross er færdig med at rense gulvtæppet i spisestuen og skal til af
sted. Vi står op og siger farvel til ham. Han kommer igen på fredag for at
rense gulvtæppet i dagligstuen – uha! Sikke en uge!!!
16:00 Vi slapper af med en kop te men ikke i sofaen, der i 24 timer er tabu.
Sikke en dag!!!!
English translation
18:00 Lois and I eat dinner, and
afterwards we have to go out. Lois wants to attend a Bible seminar taking place
tonight in Brockworth, and she is not allowed to drive at the moment, because
of cataracts. She is still waiting to get an appointment with the specialist at
Gloucester Hospital, poor Lois. The first appointment was canceled because the
specialist was ill - oh dear, just Lois's luck!
I drive her over to Mari-Ann and
Alf's house and drop her off. They are going to drive her over to Brockworth. I
drive home and on the way I again cannot resist the temptation to drive past
Sarah's old house in Leckhampton. Sarah, our beloved daughter, now lives with
her little family in a climate with plenty of sunshine in Perth, Australia, sob
sob!!!
19:00 I come home and have a
little alone time. I spend the rest of the evening watching TV. They show an
interesting documentary about the history of Sicily. The program's host is the
charming young university lecturer, Dr Michael Scott.
I am very interested in seeing this
documentary, because when I was 15 years old, my classmates and I had to read
the story of the great Athenian naval expedition to Sicily, which took place in
413-5 BC. We were fairly normal young guys (do I mean that seriously ?? !!!!!),
and for the most part we were not very emotionally touched by the Greek and
Latin works we had to tackle - it was all just part of the daily grind - oh
dear! But I remember that most of us were deeply touched by this tragic story.
The expedition's purpose was to
attack the city of Syracuse, and a huge fleet sailed from Athens with great
expectations - Athens was then the world's largest naval power. But the
expedition was a total disaster, and no one came back alive, if I remember
rightly.
The great Athenian naval expedition to Sicily (413-415 BC)
Many journalists commented in
1982 that the British naval expedition which sailed from Southampton to try to
recapture the Falkland Islands, might end in disaster in the same way.
The program's host, Dr Michael
Scott, is undoubtedly very charming but a little too enthusiastic for my taste.
He needs to listen to Larry David's advice to "Curb Your Enthusiasm".
My god, I'm becoming a grumpy old man - no doubt about it !!!!
Also it is a bit annoying that he
speaks Italian so fluently. The documentary contains many unnecessary sequences
that appear to be conceived only to showcase his ability to speak fluent
Italian with a bunch of ordinary Sicilians - my god! What madness !!!
We see Michael try to produce
salt by hand, with a group of Sicilian salt workers. Why?
We see Michael try to produce salt by
hand - why?
Just a waste of time - I know that for sure
!!!
One of Sicilians tells a local
joke about two policemen who are walking down the street. One of them is
looking at his smartphone. He collides with a "do not stop!" road
sign. He looks up and reads the sign. Then he continues to knock his head
against it.
We hear a Sicilian joke - my god!
Amusing, but again,
is it necessary???
We also see Michael being shaved
by a local barber and talking to him. Again, why?
We see Michael being shaved - why ????
Okay, Michael, we get the point, you speak
good Italian !!!!
22:00 Lois comes back. Alf has
dropped her off in front of the house. I go to bed, but Lois needs to relax and
unwind after the evening's stimulating seminar. Poor Lois !!!!
As usual, I recommend a few
television programs that I think are suitable for the purpose, two old sitcoms
from the 1980s: "Yes Minister" which makes fun of English civil
servants, and "Allo Allo", which makes fun of occupied France, the
German army, the French resistance, British agents and all the cliches of the
second World War in books, films and plays. Gordon Kaye, who played the lead
role of a horny French café owner, sadly passed away last week.
23:00 I wake up with a start when
Lois hops into bed with me. For once, she has followed my recommendation.
Hoorah! I still (after 44 and a half years) have chances of dominating her, ha
ha ha! Zzzzzzz !!!!
04:45 I get up early and do one
of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.
I look a bit at the web. My American
brother-in-law has sent me an email with an interesting piece of news. For
hundreds of years, women around the world have spent a lot of time bathing in
milk and honey, also on preparing a special face cream made of (among other
things) beeswax, aloe vera and almond oil, so that they can imitate Cleopatra's
beauty secrets.
But it turns out now that the
Queen actually had the habit of using Dove, a kind of soap that is manufactured
by Unilever, one of the world's oldest companies. I think there will be many
women who will breathe a sigh of relief when they hear this news - no doubt
about it !!! Especially for women who work, it is very hard to find the time to
fill a bath with milk and honey, as part of their hectic morning routine - oh
dear!
07:30 I hurry into the kitchen
and make two cups of tea. I take them up to the bedroom and hop into bed with
Lois. We drink the tea and get up. We eat breakfast.
08:30 We begin to prepare the
living room and dining room because Ross is coming this morning at 10 to clean
the carpet in the dining room, and the sofa and two armchairs in the living
room. We move a lot of furniture out into the hallway, and I vacuum a little.
Ross has his own super vacuum cleaner, but I would not want him to think we do
not keep the house clean and tidy - it would be shameful ha ha ha.
I come across many objects that
have been hiding under the cushions - pens, combs, money - my god! But at least
there were no dead bodies there, thank God !!!
10:00 Ross comes and begins to
clean the sofa and two armchairs in the living room. Lois and I sit in the
dining room, which is now largely emptied of furniture except for two dining
chairs, so it's a little awkward.
13:00 We eat lunch and afterwards
I go to bed and take a gigantic afternoon nap - zzzzz !!
14:00 Ross has finished cleaning the sofa and armchairs, and he begins to clean the carpet in the dining room. Lois has no place to sit now, so she joins me in the bedroom and we relax in bed. Today we are refugees on the run - no doubt about that!
15:00 Ross has finished cleaning
the carpet in the dining room and needs to be away. We get up and say goodbye
to him. He is coming back on Friday to clean the carpet in the living room - oh
dear! What a week !!!
16:00 We relax with a cup of tea
but not on the sofa which for 24 hours is going to be taboo. What a day!!!!
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