18:00 Lois og jeg spiser aftensmad og bruger aftenen på at lytte til radio, som de to gamle krager vi er – du godeste! Vi hører
om to kæmpestjerner fra de gamle dage, der er to af vores største idoler
indenfor showbusiness, for det første Mata Hari, den eksotiske hollandske
danserinde, kurtisane og spion, og for det andet Tiny Tim, den ekcentriske
newyorker, der sang i falset.
Vi er lidt søvnige, men vi prøver ihærdigt ikke at
blande de to megastjerner sammen – du godeste, vi er nu godt oppe i årene,
ingen tvivl om det!
Vi har ofte kommenteret mellem os, at Mata Hari
aldrig så særligt smuk ud i fotoerne, men vi plejer at forklare det ved at pege
på, at moder gennem årene har meget ændret sig, når det kommer til hårstil,
makeup, tøj, kropsform osv.
I 1969, da jeg var studerende, så jeg Tiny Tim
optræde i Black Swan, en natklub i byen Sheffield – de lokale kaldte klubben,
Mucky Duck – et godt eksempel på den lokale humoristiske sans. Jeg købte én af Tiny
Tims mange hits, ”There’ll Always Be An England / Bless’em All / It’s a Long
Way to Tipperary”: jeg kunne lide Tiny Tims fortolkning af disse 3 velkendte
gamle sange, men jeg købte den for det meste, fordi den blev udsendt på 78 rpm
plader, hvilket allerede dengang var blevet lidt af en kuriositet.
Lois og jeg finder de to programme meget interessante.
Men vi er ganske overfladiske mennesker, og mens vi sidder i sofaen og lytter
til programmerne, diskuterer vi lidt, om Tiny Tim, der gik i
seng med hundredvis af rige og magtfulde kvinder, havde en erotisk duft, der
fyldte næseborene, og som hans elskerinder var vilde med, når de indåndede den.
Man kan næsten høre elskerindernes kys i nakken og “uhm, du dufter dejligt min
skat”, mens de gik til den.
Vi spekulerer på den anden side om, om Mata Haris duft
havde det samme effekt på sine 3 ægtemænd, især sin første, ”Mr Vicki”, som hun
fik en baby med. Jeg har aldrig glemt detaljerne om hendes rene personlige
vaner. Hun brugte fugtighedscreme i en æra, hvor det ikke var normalt for
kvinder ha ha ha, hun gik i bad mindst 4 gange om dagen, hun barberede sig to
gange om dagen, og børstede tænder 10 gange om dagen.
Jeg barberer mig også ofte to gange om dagen, men jeg kan ikke matche Mata
Haris standarder, når det kommer til andre områder af hendes personlige vaner.
Jeg må simpelthen prøver lidt hårdere - det har jeg ikke nogen tvivl om!
Mata Hari døde til sidst af en hjerteanfald, hvilket er lidt trist. Men
Tiny Tim led en værre skæbne, da han blev skudt af franskmændene for at være en
tysk spion, eller omvendt, skudt af tyskerne for at være en fransk spion – det er
jeg ikke helt sikker på.
22:00 Vi går i seng – zzzzzzz!!!
04:30 Jeg står tidligt op og laver én af mine rutinemæssige danske
ordforrådtest.
Jeg kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg ser en bekymrende nyheder om Rollo, en
viking, der blev den første herske af Normandiet. Han er også dronning
Elizabeths fjerne forfader. Historikere er ikke enige i, om han var dansker, nordmand,
eller sågar englænder, selvom en nutidig DNA-analyse knyttede Rollo til
Danmark, eller at være præcis, til den danske by Faxe, hvor en skole er opkaldt efter ham, og der er
sat en mindesten, og der stod engang også et mindetårn med udsigt over
kalkbruddet.
Men nu siger arkæologer, at denne analyse var
baseret på de forkerte skeletter – du godeste, denne nyhed er noget af et chok,
ingen tvivl om det! Resterne af Rollos
barn og barnebarn lå nemlig ikke på deres plads i deres franske grav. I stedet
lå langt ældre skeletter i graven, mens børnenes skeletter på ét eller andet
tidspunkt er blevet forlagt.
Rollo, dronning Elizabeths fjerne forfader.
Van han dansker eller nordmand?
Det hele
har fået mig til at bekymre mig!
Dronning Elizabeth må være meget bekymret, og
det får mig også til at blive bekymret – pludselig føler jeg mig dårligt tilpas
og jeg dratter ned af stolen, når jeg læser detaljerne. Det viser bare, at det
er sandt, hvad der står i en artikel, som Steve, min amerikanske svigerbror i
går sendte mig. Artiklen påpeger, at det er dårligt for sundheden at læse
nyhederne, og hvis man opgiver det, gør det én gladere – du godeste, sikke et
vanvid!!!!
07:30 Jeg trisser ind i køkkenet og laver to kopper te. Jeg tager dem med
op i soveværelset og hopper op i sengen til Lois. Vi drikker teen og går i bad.
Vi står op og spiser morgenmad.
10:00 Vi har aftalt med vores datter Sarah i Australien,
at taler på Skype kl 10 med hende og hendes 3,5—årige tvillinger, Lily og
Jessica. Vi har skyndet os at stå tidligt op, gå i bad og spise morgenmad i god
tid, men desværre er der igen ingen svar, da vi ringer til dem. Pokkers!
10:45 Sarah sender mig en sms-besked. Familien er
på udflugt i dag, og er i færd med en picnic for tiden i en lille badeby, Mandurah, der
ligger lidt syd for byen Perth. Vi ringer til dem og vi taler lidt. Desværre er
det sværere for tvillingerne at fokusere – ingen overraskelse der, fordi de får
det meget sjovt ved deres picnic. Vi
holder opkaldet kort!!!!
Francis besluttede spontan på sidste øjeblik at
tage på udflugt i dag sammen med familien. Det har han en vane med at gøre –
han hader at planlægger noget som helst!!! Sikke et vanvid!!!!
12:00 Vi spiser frokost. Bagefter skal Lois af sted. Hun ønsker at
deltage i en gudstjeneste, der finder sted i eftermiddag i hendes kirke i byen
Tewkesbury. Maggie, hendes veninde, kører over til kirken.
Jeg har lidt alenetid. Jeg er meget taknemmelig,
at Maggie kan køre Lois i dag – sidste søndag var solskinnet så strålende, at
Maggie ikke havde nok tillid til at køre, og jeg kørte dem begge til kirken. I
dag er det overskyet, så jeg kan blive herhjemme og streger noget opgaver ud på
min gøremålsliste – hurra! Jeg prøver altid at øremærke, beskytte og forsvare min
alenetid, der for mig er meget værdifuld, men desværre er dette ikke altid
muligt – uha!
Jeg går ud ad bagdøren og luger lidt mellem
frugtbuskene i bundet af baghaven. Vi har brugt nogle timer på denne opgave i
denne uge, og det ser ud som om, det ikke går fremad, men i dag kan jeg se, at
ukrudtsfri området gradvist vokser – hurra!
det går fremad med at øge
det
ukrudtsfri område – hurra!
Jeg kommer tilbage ind i huset og går i gang med
at stryge 2-3 ugers skjorter, t-shirts og undertøj. Lois fortalte mig for nogle
uger siden, at jeg kunne overlade denne opgave til hende, men i formiddag blev
jeg klar over, at jeg løber tør for tøj – du godeste! Lois har simpelthen ikke
nok tid til at stryge mit tøj udover sit eget.
jeg går i gang med at stryge 2-3 ugers
skjorter,
t-shirts og undertøj. Du godeste!
15:30 Lois kommer tilbage igen og vi slapper af med
en kop te i sofaen.
16:00 Jeg kigger lidt på nettet. Jeg læser, at 2017
er et betydningsfuldt tidspunkt i
verdens historie – ingen tvivl om det! Den sidste person, der blev i live i 1800-tallet,
Emma Morano, er desværre lige død på 117 år. Nu bliver vi nødt til at grave en
historiebog frem, hvis vi vil finde ud af, hvad der skete i et 19. århundrede. Enden
på en æra – ingen tvivl om det!!!!
For nøjagtig 1000 år siden, overtog Englands nye
konge, danskeren Knut, den engelske trone, efter kong Æthelred II (den
Rådvilde) døde det foregående år, og
krigen mellem den engelske og den danske hære sluttede dermed. Æthelreds enke,
Emma, blev tvunget til at gifte sig med Knut. Jeg er lidt nysgerrig over, hvad
det føltes som at gå i seng med éns afdøde mands fjende – stakkels Emma!! – men
jeg formoder, at det hele dengang kun var en del af jobbet, hvis du var dronning – (”hvem er næsten mand
i køen????) !!!
Dronning
Emma blev tvunget til at gifte sig
med
danskeren, kong Knut
Knut delte England i 4 regioner, og han ignorede de
eksisterende historiske grevskaber. Det er typisk af nye ledere verden over, at
komme til magten og ændre alt, hvad enten det give mening eller ej! Kom så,
Knut, vis dem, hvem er chefen her!!!!
1000 år er gået siden da, og jorden roterer langsommere
og langsommere, som månen rykker længere længere væk fra jorden (1,5 inches om
året), og dens tyngdekraft bliver svagere og svagere. Snart vil jorden rotere
så langsomt, at vi alle vil kunne stå af. Sikke et skørt univers vi lever i
!!!!!
English translation
18:00 Lois and I eat dinner and spend the evening
listening to the radio, like
the two old crows we are - my goodness! We hear about two giant stars from the
old days, who are two of our greatest idols in show business, firstly Mata
Hari, the exotic Dutch dancer, courtesan and spy, and secondly, Tiny Tim, the
eccentric New Yorker who sang in falsetto .
We're a bit sleepy, but we try hard not to mix the two mega stars up -
my goodness, we are now getting well on in years, no doubt about it!
We have often commented
between ourselves that Mata Hari never looked particularly beautiful in the
photos, but we usually explain this by pointing to the the fact that through
the years fashions have changed a lot when it comes to hairstyles, makeup,
clothes, body shape, etc. .
In 1969, when I was a student,
I saw Tiny Tim perform in the Black Swan, a nightclub in the city of Sheffield
- the locals called the club the Mucky Duck - a good example of the local sense
of humour. I bought one of Tiny Tim’s many hits, "There'll Always Be An
England / Bless'em All / It's a Long Way to Tipperary": I liked Tiny Tim's interpretation of those
three familiar old songs, but I bought it mostly because it was issued on 78
rpm records, which even then was a bit of a curiosity.
Lois and I find the two
programs very interesting. But we are quite superficial people, and as we sit
on the couch and listen to the programs, we discuss whether Tiny Tim, who went
to bed with hundreds of rich and powerful women, had an erotic scent that filled
the nostrils and which his mistresses loved when they breathed it in. You can
almost hear the mistresses’ kisses in the neck and the "mmm, you smell
lovely darling" while they went for it.
We wonder on the other hand about
whether Mata Hari's scent had the same effect on her three husbands, especially
her first, "Mr Vicki," whom she had a baby with. I have never
forgotten the details of her clean personal habits. She used moisturiser in an
era where it was not normal for women ha ha ha, she went in the shower at least
four times a day, she shaved twice a day, and brushed her teeth 10 times a day.
I often shave twice a day, but
I cannot match Mata Hari's standards when it comes to other areas of her
personal habits. Gotta try a little harder - I have no doubts on that score!
Mata Hari eventually died of a
heart attack, which is a little sad. But Tiny Tim suffered a worse fate when he
was shot by the French for being a German spy, or vice versa, shot by the
Germans for being a French spy - I'm not quite sure.
22:00 We go to bed - zzzzzzz !!!
04:30 I get up early and do one
of my routine Danish vocabulary tests.
I take a little look at the web.
I see a disturbing news item about Rollo, a Viking who became the first ruler
of Normandy. He is also Queen Elizabeth's distant ancestor. Historians do not
agree on whether he was Danish, Norwegian, or even English, though a recent DNA
analysis has linked Rollo to Denmark, or to be precise, to the Danish town of
Faxe, where a school is named after him, there is a memorial stone, and there
was once also a memorial tower overlooking the quarry.
But now archaeologists say that
this analysis was based on the wrong skeletons - my goodness, this news is
quite a shock, no doubt about it! The remains of Rollo's child and grandchild
were not lying in place in their French grave. Instead there were far older
skeletons in the tomb, so the actual children's skeletons must have gone
missing at some stage.
Rollo, Queen Elizabeth's distant ancestor.
Was he a Dane or a Norwegian?
The whole thing has got me worried!
Queen Elizabeth must be very
worried, and it gets me worried - suddenly I feel uncomfortable and I tumble
off my chair when I read the details. It just shows that it's true, what it
says in an article that Steve, my American brother-in-law sent me yesterday.
The article points out that it is bad for the health to read the news, and if
you give it up, it makes you happier - good grief, what madness !!!!
07:30 I toddle into the kitchen
and make two cups of tea. I take them up to the bedroom and hop into bed with
Lois. We drink the tea and take a shower. We get up and eat breakfast.
10:00 We have agreed with our
daughter Sarah in Australia to talk on Skype at 10am with her and her 3 and a
half-year-old twins, Lily and Jessica. We have rushed to get up early, take a
shower and eat breakfast in good time, but unfortunately there is again no
answer when we call them. Damn!
10:45 Sarah sends me a text
message. The family is on an outing today, and are currently busy with a picnic
in a small seaside town, Mandurah, located just south of the city of Perth. We
call them and we talk a little. Unfortunately, it is difficult for the twins to
focus - no surprise there, because they are having so much fun at their picnic.
We keep the call short !!!!
Francis decided spontaneously at
the last minute to take a trip today with the family. He has a habit of doing
this - he hates to plan anything !!! What madness !!!!
12:00 We eat lunch. Afterwards
Lois must go off. She wants to attend a church service taking place this
afternoon at her church in the town of Tewkesbury. Maggie, her friend, is
running her over to the church.I have a little alone time. I am very grateful
that Maggie can drive Lois today - last Sunday the sunshine was so bright that
Maggie did not have enough confidence to drive, and I drove them both to the
church. Today it is cloudy, so I can be at home and delete some tasks on my
to-do list - hurrah! I always try to ring-fence my alone time, which is very
precious to me, but unfortunately this is not always possible - oh dear!
I go out the back door and do a
bit of weeding between fruit bushes at the bottom of the back garden. We have
spent some hours on this task this week, and it looks as if it is not making
progress, but today I can see that the weed-free area is gradually growing -
hurrah!
progress is being made with
increasing
the weed free area - hurrah!
I come back into the house and
begin ironing 2-3 weeks of shirts, T-shirts and underwear. Lois told me some
weeks ago that I could leave this task to her, but this morning I realised that
I am running out of clothes - my goodness! Lois simply does not have enough
time to iron my clothes in addition to her own.
I begin to iron 2-3 weeks of shirts,
T-shirts and underwear. My goodness!
15:30 Lois comes back again and
we relax with a cup of tea on the sofa.
16:00 I take a little look at the
web. I read that 2017 is a significant moment in the history of the world - no
doubt about it! The last person who was alive in the 1800s, Emma Morano, has
unfortunately just died at the age of 117. Now we have to dig out a history
book if we want to find out what happened in the 19th century. The end of an
era - no doubt about it !!!!
Exactly 1,000 years ago,
England's new king, the Dane Canute, took over the English throne after King
Ethelred II (the Unready) died the previous year, and the war between the
English and Danish armies ended therewith. Ethelred's widow, Emma, was forced
to marry Canute. I am a little curious about what it felt like to go to bed
with one's deceased husband's enemy - poor Emma !! - but I suspect that back
then the whole thing was just part of the job if you were queen - ( "who's
next?" ) !!!
Queen
Emma was forced to marry the Dane, King Canute
Knut divided England into four
regions, ignoring the existing historic counties. It is typical of new leaders
the world over, to come to power and change everything, whether it makes sense
or not! Come on, Knut, show them who's boss here !!!!
1000 years have passed since
then, and the earth is rotating more and more slowly as the moon moves further
and further away from the earth (1.5 inches a year), and its gravitational
force becomes weaker and weaker. Soon the earth will be rotating so slowly that
we will all be able to get off. What a crazy universe we live in !!!!!
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